Many people have a misunderstanding about marriage, thinking that as long as we
Many people have a misunderstanding about marriage, thinking that as long as we love each other, we will be happy after marriage.
However, a large number of facts tell us that love is only the premise of happiness, and the most important thing is to be suitable.
If we are the right people for each other, all the bumps in marriage can be overcome through Qi Xin's concerted efforts.
However, if we are not suitable, living together will only add more pain and helplessness.
In marriage, what is more important than falling in love is appropriateness.
The most beautiful love between Du Jiang and Huo Siyan perfectly explains what is "appropriate".
0 1.
Huo Siyan is 40 years old, five years older than Du Jiang. They fell in love on 20 12 and got married on 20 13.
When we first met, Huo Siyan had been famous for a long time, but Du Jiang was still a rookie. This five-year-old sibling relationship is not optimistic.
However, Huo Siyan married Du Jiang without hesitation.
She said, "When I married Mr. Du, I knew exactly how much money he had. He is really a poor boy, but I don't think it's too bad for two people to work together. "
Huo Siyan has a good eye. She not only loves the right person, but also marries the right person. Du Jiang is not only a good husband, but also a good father.
What impressed me most about Du Jiang was that he once played games with ghosts on the show, and when he lost, he had to kiss his forehead.
At that time, Du Jiang was anxious to explain to his wife Huo Siyan: "Wife, this is just a game."
Before Du Jiang knew it, he had already lost, but he really couldn't kiss.
Ghost nasty, take the initiative to come forward to, I saw Du Jiang nimbly away, let the ghost closed on empty air.
This scene is funny and enviable. Some netizens asked: Did Huo Siyan save the Milky Way in his last life? Looking for such a good husband?
Even if you record a program, you still keep a strict distance from the opposite sex and don't have physical contact easily.
It's hard to find a man with such a sense of proper limit and boundaries. Huo Siyan is so blessed.
You know, not all men can keep their distance from the opposite sex. Many people know that their wives will be sad, but they still go their own way.
I know a friend whose husband is poor within a reasonable limit. He likes to go back and forth with his female colleagues at colleagues' parties.
His wife protested with him again and again, but he turned a deaf ear again and again, calling her stingy and fond of taking care of him.
They have no other communication except quarreling for the opposite sex. Marriage is like a stagnant pool, and they will make do with each other.
Compared with the marriage between Du Jiang and Huo Siyan, one is love in hell and the other is love in immortals.
In marriage, it is not enough to just love each other, but also to be suitable for each other. What is appropriate?
What is appropriate is that you have the ability to feel, know your partner's feelings, and don't do anything that makes the other person sad.
For example, when you get along with the opposite sex, you can keep your distance and consider your partner's feelings without your partner reminding you.
Your behavior always makes your partner feel at ease, and he/she can feel your care and respect.
And this is the most suitable relationship, the most beautiful love and the happiest marriage.
02.
In The Romantic Travel of Wife, Du Jiang wrote a love letter to Huo Siyan.
He criticized his carelessness and stupidity and screwed up many things, but because of Huo Siyan, he believed in the beauty and friendliness of the world.
There are no perfect people in the world, and no one is very successful from the beginning. At this time, you need a supportive and encouraging partner.
Huo Siyan was a poor boy when she married Du Jiang, but she didn't abandon him and gave him support and encouragement.
Operation Red Sea won the Hundred Flowers Award for Best Supporting Actor.
A good woman is to let you know that even if you are not perfect, she still embraces and accepts you.
It is a very suitable feeling to make you believe that the world is still beautiful and friendly.
However, couples who love each other again, if they can't accommodate each other, their marriage life will be a chicken feather, which also shows that you are not suitable from the side.
I have a reader with a monthly salary of 5000. After coming home from work, he also does housework with his wife, plays with children and cares for his wife and children.
In the eyes of neighbors, he is a good husband and father.
But his wife doesn't think so. When she heard her neighbor boast that she married a good husband, she disdainfully said to his face:
"The salary is less than half of my best friend's husband. What's the use? I don't think he will achieve anything in this life. "
No matter how well he does, his wife is dissatisfied, never appreciates his benefits, and only pays attention to his shortcomings.
Compare him with others everywhere, beat him, laugh at him and blame him.
His heart is full of helplessness, and he feels more and more that he has married the wrong wife and his marriage is unfortunate.
Gradually, he had the idea of divorce. Later, he became less and less fond of going home, and finally divorced in a fit of pique.
Many people think that as long as we love each other, marriage will be happy, but only in marriage do we find:
Love is not enough, but also suitable for each other. What is appropriate?
It doesn't mean that our three views should be consistent. In fact, it is difficult to meet people with the same three views.
Suitability means that even if our ideas and viewpoints are different, we can be compatible and coordinated with each other.
As a psychologist said: "In marriage, having inconsistent EQ is an effective remedy for the three views."
When a husband and wife have differences, they don't argue, persuade or compromise, but learn to integrate this inconsistency.
For example, Huo Siyan certainly knew that it was good to marry a successful and rich man, but she didn't complain about the poverty in Du Jiang.
But take a step back, give support and encouragement, inspire Du Jiang's kindness, and make him more and more close to success. This is the right partner.
And my reader's wife, of course, knows that it is good to marry a capable husband, but in the face of her husband's poverty, she has no ability to integrate this inconsistency.
In addition to complaining, it was a blow, which inspired her husband's ill feelings and made him more and more depressed. As a result, the jar broke, and this is an inappropriate partner.
A good partner is the right partner. A good partner can inspire the other half to be good and make the marriage happier and happier.
The wrong partner is an unsuitable partner, and the wrong partner will also inspire the other half to be bad and break up the marriage.
In marriage, what is more important than falling in love is appropriateness.
03.
Huo Siyan took a sexy route in his early years. After getting married and having children, she gradually became gentle and pure.
A good marriage and the right partner make people gentle and simple, because with the love of her partner, she can be less strong.
Huo Siyan is a person who is particularly afraid of and hates bananas. The reason is that 19 years old, his mother died suddenly, and Huo Siyan didn't have time to see his mother for the last time because of his work.
When she came back, she only saw bananas under the portrait. From then on, she transferred her feelings and trauma to bananas.
Du Jiang learned this about Huo Siyan and understood that she was a insecure person.
In marriage, he put the relationship between husband and wife first, and the relationship between parents and children second.
For example, when getting married, Du Jiang said, "Not because of the baby in the belly, but because I really love Huo Siyan and really want to marry her."
After marriage, Du Jiang should kiss Huo Siyan goodbye in a hurry before going out.
And my son, uh-huh, grew up eating his parents' dog food.
Not only did this not affect their father-son relationship, but, uh-huh, under the influence of their parents, they also became a child who knew how to give love.
The love of parents is the best education for children, which is vividly proved by the Huo Siyan family in Du Jiang.
A happy marriage benefits not only the husband and wife, but also the children. The education of love is to set an example. Du Jiang and Huo Siyan did a good job.
A good marriage is definitely not a unilateral effort, but both sides sincerely consider each other's feelings, and take the initiative to make efforts to do more for each other.
Huo Siyan will pack Du Jiang's luggage. In order to have enough time to take care of her son, she is willing to choose to film less and accompany her son to grow up.
Du Jiang will prepare food for Huo Siyan. When she is pregnant, she will carefully rub anti-stretch oil on her body every morning and evening to prevent her from getting wrinkles.
Huo Siyan is distressed by Du Jiang, and Du Jiang is also worried about Huo Siyan's efforts.
Husband and wife care about each other, pay each other, and live the most beautiful love in a dull marriage life.
What is this? This is a couple.
Wang Xiaobo said: "Life is very long. You must find an interesting person together. "
In my opinion, there are not many interesting people who may not be found, but in marriage, we must find a suitable person together.
In real life, many couples enter marriage with the idea of life.
But many couples end up as enemies or the most familiar strangers.
Is this because they are not in love?
No, they will love each other to death at first, but it is not enough to have love in marriage, and they should be suitable for each other.
Suitability doesn't need two people with exactly the same personality, and it doesn't have to be consistent in three views.
But two people have the same views and feelings about things, and you have the same anger, sadness, fear and joy.
For example, when you get along with the opposite sex, you will take care of your partner's feelings and keep your distance from the opposite sex;
In marriage, even if your partner makes less money, understand his difficulties, tolerate him and encourage him;
In family life, it is not easy to understand the other half, help with housework and take care of children; ……
At these times, you feel the same way, and even if you have different views, you are willing to put aside your prejudices and listen to each other's opinions.
Then integrate your differences and make your steps consistent.
When two people are on the same channel, it is much easier to communicate and get along in life, so they are not so tired.
You will find that appropriateness is so important.
The most beautiful love in Du Jiang and Huo Siyan also proves that in marriage, what is more important than loving each other is appropriateness.
Postscript:
It's really important who you meet in this life.
Meet the right person, the right person, even if you have shortcomings and deficiencies, he will appreciate you and tolerate you.
Meet the wrong person, the wrong person, no matter how good you do, he can find fault with you.
This "person" can be: friend, partner; Teachers and students; Bosses and subordinates; Even parents and children.
When you meet the right person, you will find that happiness is simple, and happiness is simple;
But if you meet the wrong person, even if you love and like again, you may be tortured by the other person.
If you feel more pain than happiness in a relationship, it's not that we are not good enough.
It's that we met the wrong person, the wrong person.
We may meet the wrong parents and failed parents, but we can't hurt ourselves anyway;
We may meet the wrong friends or partners. If you are with him and feel more and more miserable and worse, it's time to turn around and leave.
Meet the right person, be grateful and give back sincerely;
When you meet the wrong person, wave your sleeves and let go.
Because life can't carry too much, you should learn to go into battle lightly.
I wish everyone can meet the right people and spend their lives with them simply and easily.
Today's topic:
Do you envy Du Jiang Huo Siyan's love?
Welcome to leave a message for discussion.
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About the author: I hope to be warm, be good at emotional interpretation, write warm and beautiful articles, and sincerely accompany you.
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