Perhaps many people don't understand, how can this society have a daughter-in-law who suffers indignities? In fact, in today's society, those daughters-in-law will still suffer indignities, which may be the reason why they suffer indignities in their in-laws' homes.
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I remember when I was not married, a colleague told me this.
She said:? A woman's position in her husband's family depends on how her husband treats her. In-laws are totally dependent on their husbands. ?
In other words, if the husband can absolutely love and respect his wife, then the husband's family will not dare to embarrass his wife.
But if this husband doesn't respect his wife and often bosses her around, then it is conceivable that her husband's family will not respect her either.
Then, I suddenly thought of a friend who had a bad relationship with her mother-in-law. Because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, mother-in-law doesn't love her.
When she was in confinement, she couldn't take care of the child because the wound of caesarean section hadn't healed and she couldn't do much action.
At that time, although her mother-in-law symbolically came to take care of her confinement, she actually refused to do anything after coming, so it was a bit ironic to talk at home.
What did you say?/Sorry? Nowadays, women are too delicate to stand the crime of natural childbirth, so they often have caesarean section. Not only is it a waste of time, but you can't take care of the children until the wound heals.
Say, she gave birth to a child and didn't forget to show off? Great achievement? :? At that time, the day after giving birth, I could go downstairs and carry two buckets of water home. Nowadays, teenagers are so delicate that they should be thrown into poor places to exercise for a few years. ?
To tell the truth, there are indeed many differences between today and the past. In the past, everyone's living standard was not very high, and many people suffered for their lives.
? Of course, the hard-working spirit of our predecessors is worth learning from our younger generations.
However, it is different now. With the progress of society, the lives of ordinary people have gradually improved. In treating children, especially some one-child families, they will be spoiled more or less.
What did my friend's mother-in-law say? A little ironic? Everyone thinks the diaphragm.
Fortunately, her husband still loves her, and her mother-in-law doesn't help to take care of the crying child, so she does it herself and keeps coaxing the crying child.
Needless to say, many mothers-in-law treat their sons and daughters-in-law in the opposite way. When the mother-in-law saw her son involved, she couldn't stand it and gave in.
Even so, her mother-in-law has never stopped criticizing her, thinking that this is not good and that is not good. I not only have to wash clothes and cook, but also serve her in bed.
But every time her mother-in-law complains, she will still compromise to do these things, because if her mother-in-law doesn't do it, her husband will take the initiative to reach out and do it.
Over time, my mother-in-law felt that her son could not live without my friend, that is, my daughter-in-law, so she stopped bullying her.
If, in the parents-in-law's house, a woman is in the current situation that her husband doesn't love or hurt, will she be with my friend? Encounter? On the contrary. Think about it, even if the husband doesn't cherish his wife, how can other people in the husband's family not let her suffer indignities?
Therefore, whether a woman suffers indignities in her husband's family depends on whether her husband cherishes it.
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Many people are admiring it now? Equality between men and women? And many female friends also say that they hold up half the sky.
Indeed, if a woman can remain financially independent after marriage, her position in her husband's family will be obviously improved.
Because, although I am married, I never let my husband's family find fault with the economy.
In the previous marriage life of the older generation, men mostly earned money to support their families, while women took care of their families at home full-time. Therefore, at that time, most women would be looked down upon by their in-laws.
One of my readers left me a message earlier saying that she gave up her career for love and marriage. I thought my sacrifice would win the recognition of my husband's family, but it was because of her? Sacrifice? Causing her to suffer all kinds of anger at her husband's house.
At first, her mother-in-law was very kind to her. Does she feel herself? Fenger? It is a blessing for my son to marry such a beautiful city girl.
However, with the extension of days and the birth of children, the family economy is facing a deficit. So my mother-in-law began to complain frequently, blaming her for being idle at home.
At that time, she was still in confinement, and her mother-in-law wanted her to go out and find a job quickly. And her husband's attitude towards her was once very bad. Not only did he take it out on his mother-in-law, but he even said to his face that he regretted marrying? Eat idle food? She ...
After getting married, this reader actually faces two embarrassing situations. One is that her husband doesn't love her enough, and the other is that she has no financial independence.
? Many women have no position in their husband's family and suffer indignities there, because they are not independent after marriage and live by their husband's family and men.
Although? Marry Han, marry Han, dress and eat? After two people get married, the money earned by the man is the joint property of the husband and wife, but the woman must know that earning money by herself is the confidence, and the woman must ensure her economic independence, so that she will be straight in her husband's family.
For example, if you don't earn a penny, your husband-in-law will say, My son raised them all. It is not easy for my son to make money. Can't you save money? ?
At this time, you are often speechless. But if you can earn money by yourself, the result will definitely be different. It is only natural that you earn your own money and spend your own money, and no one can control it.
Actually, this reader is like this. Her mother-in-law often says at the top of her lungs that she can't do anything but give birth.
Finally, the reader was unwilling to bear it, so he left the child to his mother-in-law with tears and went to find a job himself. Originally, she wanted to divorce, but because of the children, she had to give up the idea of divorce.
Fortunately, since she began to make money, every time her mother-in-law talked about her, she would go straight back and say: I earned all the money I spent, and you are not qualified to say me. ?
After her salary exceeded that of her husband, he began to please her.
Therefore, whether a woman suffers indignities in her husband's family depends on whether she is financially independent enough.
? 03
Some women may be born with good natures. No matter who it is, as long as the other person is not too much, he won't care.
Of course, a person's kindness deserves praise from others, but if kindness has no bottom line, then it is often oneself who suffers.
Don't think that your kindness and accommodation can win the kindness of others.
Such a character may have been treated with the same kindness in the past, but now many people have accepted their own kindness, and they even regard the kindness of others as? Stupid? The behavior of.
Especially in marriage, if you meet a reasonable mother-in-law, maybe your kindness can be well rewarded, but if you meet a domineering mother-in-law, what is your kindness in her eyes? Timid? What will she take you for? Soft persimmon? Same. Feel free to pinch.
Say? Home and everything? In a family, we should know how to be patient and tolerant, but women should also have their own bottom line, and we must never be patient and tolerant blindly.
Like my colleague Xiao, she is a kind girl. No matter who she gets along with on weekdays, she is a couple. Peace with the world? Attitude.
? After getting married, she has been treating her husband's family like this and doesn't want to care too much. In her own words. One more thing is better than one less thing. Take a step back. ?
Although there is some truth in what she said, it is not entirely correct.
Because friends can get along like this, after all, the relationship is not so close. If you want to maintain a friendship, both sides will reflect on themselves.
But, in the eyes of my husband's family, what about yours? Step back? , in fact, is it you? Weak? The performance of.
An overbearing mother-in-law will never give up a good opportunity to bully her daughter-in-law because of her kindness.
Therefore, after marriage, she is less bullied by her mother-in-law. In the face of her mother-in-law's initial provocation, she always chooses to accommodate and tolerate with a kind attitude. As a result, the more patient she was, the more uncomfortable her mother-in-law made her.
In fact, if you don't reach the bottom line, you will always be patient and give in.
The more you do this, the more your opponent will push his luck. In the end, you will find that even if you suffer a great injustice, the other party will take it for granted, and it will be too late even if you want to fight back.
Therefore, the reason why a woman suffers indignities in her husband's family may be that she has not changed her attitude of having no bottom line.
? If a woman has been in a state of suffering indignities in her husband's family, first look at whether she is in the status quo of the above three situations. If so, then try to change these status quo, so that they can regain their position in the husband's family. Moreover, if a woman can't overcome these status quo in time, she is likely to hurt her husband and wife's feelings when she can't stand it, thus breaking up the marriage.
Women must remember that no matter where they are, no matter when, they must ensure their economic independence, have independent thoughts, and have their own bottom line and principles. At the same time, it is also important to have a good relationship with your husband after marriage. Communicate more. Your husband loves you, and your in-laws naturally dare not bully you.