1. Your head is like a ball. It hits the department store. There is a fan in the department store. It hits you at the train station. At the train station, there is a train. It will crush you to pieces!
2. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the leather shoes and I am the brush, if you ignore me I am a **!
3. I miss you so fast that I don’t have the right clothes, I can’t have a relationship with anyone, I’m not popular wherever I go, my heart stops even when I’m fine, and it’s not typical to get pneumonia!
4. Life is so tiring: I have to wait in line to get on the bus, I have to suffer for loving you, eating has no flavor, drinking easily makes me drunk, and making money has to pay taxes!
5. When I close my left eye, I will be interested in you. When I close my right eye, I will go with you. When I close my eyes, I will do whatever I want.
6. Being funny must be thorough, and destruction must be powerful. Getting into trouble is a patent, pretending to be good is a unique skill, teasing people depends on talent, and being bullied depends on fate. In short, I will never rest easy!
7. I am your ape, sitting on the bed of your home, your mother burns incense for me, your father kowtows to me, your grandma makes dumplings for me, and your grandpa is my fat boy!
8. There is always love in the world, so it’s okay not to tip. There is no fragrant grass anywhere in the world, so the tip cannot be less. There is true love in the world, and if you can save a piece of it, it's a piece of cake.
9. If a woman is not drunk, a man has no chance. If a man is not drunk, a woman cannot tip. If both men and women are not drunk, no one will sleep in the hotel.
10. Husband, don’t be cool with me, don’t be jealous of me, you have to give in when we quarrel, and you have to hold on when you get beaten!
11. Don’t be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang; don’t pretend with me, I’m the one behind the scenes; if you don’t believe it, you don’t accept it, the a** is my uncle, bomb first and then poison, even the Americans have to accept it .
12. Things used by celebrities are called cultural relics, and things used by ordinary people are called waste. Celebrities who drink too much are called drunkards, and ordinary people who drink too much are called drunkards.
13. Girl, girl, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. Eat you, swallow you, put you inside me. I'll bite you to pieces, chew you to pieces, we'll be together forever!
14. Xiaobai is not white and white. His ears stand up. When he hears the beep of his mobile phone, he puts down the carrots and vegetables and replies to the message quickly.
15. Report to the commander that your wife is in the bay and has no pants to wear. I picked up a piece of cloth and made briefs. Tonic in the east and in the west will still expose the skin.
16. If love lasts for a long time, how can it be about pork and pork? In heaven, I would like to be a winged bird, and on earth, I would like to be a pig with tail; especially if the taste is like a pig's head.
17. The little mouse went up to the lampstand, stole oil to eat, but couldn't get down. Meow meow meow, the cat came, chirped and rolled down.
18. Pull the big saw, pull the big saw, and sing a big show in front of grandma's house; pick up the daughter, invite the son-in-law, and the nephew and the boy will also go.
19. They pledged their determination to each other and kissed the girl as soon as he hugged her. The impulse made his head dizzy and his whole body felt like cramps.
20. Don’t pretend to be easy to get dusted, don’t be easy to get punished, don’t pretend to be easy to get hurt, don’t be cute and easy to get soaked.
21. I left as quietly as I came here. I waved my sleeves and took away only a bunch of cabbage.
22. I’ll bend your waist, bend your legs, break your spine, and give you fractures. I’ll shoot you in the eyes and blind you. I’ll give you a microphone and make you walk against the wall while spitting blood.
23. At dawn, I carried Zhou Hua arrows, climbed over Nicholas Tse Peak, came to Zhou Xingchi, picked an Liu De flower, picked up a Zhang Baizhi, made friends with Jacky Cheung, and ate a Zheng Zhong chicken.
24. The person I love has his own name, and the person who loves me is miserable. He either becomes bad in debauchery or becomes perverted in silence.
25. You will have a period right after graduation; you will have a wife a year after graduation; you will regret having a wife later; you will have a second wife later; you will regret having a second wife the most.
26. The water is flowing, the fish are swimming, and I don’t need a reason to love you; the wind is blowing, the rain is falling, and I really want to hug you and kiss you; the sky is affectionate and the earth is affectionate, can you be romantic today?
27. Make up your mind to steal melons, crawl in the ground without fear of sacrifice, overcome all difficulties to pick up the big one, and strive to win and carry it home.
28. Car, beep beep beep, Malan blossoms twenty-one, two-five-six, two-five-seven, two-eight-two-nine-thirty-one.
29. Praise those who treat deer as horses, promote those who flatter horses, punish those who treat cows as horses, and punish those who work alone.
30. Love at first sight! Goodbye infatuation! Trouble all day long! Want to win your heart! Take great pains! It’s exciting to think about it! It’s hard for you! Don’t know how to be intimate! So cruel! Makes me sad!
31. One person lives forever, two people are full of tenderness, three people miss each other day and night, and four people share the same bed but have different dreams.
32. A good man’s hair falls backward; a bad man’s hair lies forward. A woman who has a good life wears less clothes; a woman who has a bad life wears less clothes than an old lady.
33. Standards for a good wife: Cheating means being cute, being strict means hoping for a successful husband, not spending money means being thrifty, and spending money means being tasteful!
34. One bucket is poor, two buckets are rich, three buckets and four buckets open a pawn shop, five buckets and six buckets are carried on the back, seven buckets and eight buckets are walking around the streets (selling tofu), nine buckets and ten buckets of dung baskets!
35. When the exam came, I didn’t want to memorize it. I was really tired from memorizing it late at night, so I simply went to bed for comfort. There was no one around me in the exam room, and I felt really sad when I looked at the test paper!
36. Mahjong style Most people are working, a small number of people are blowing food and drinking, most people are practicing qigong, a small number of people are busy telling fortunes, and many people are fighting "square city".
37. My name is Alibaba. I am 1.88 meters tall. I see how pitiful you are, so I give you a bag of rice dumplings and call me aunt.
38. In Beijing, we talk about winning and losing with talk; in Shanghai, we talk about winning and losing with petty bourgeoisie; in Guangzhou, we talk about winning and losing with food; in Dalian, we talk about winning and losing with football; in Shenzhen, we talk about winning and losing with speed.
39. Those who do the work, those who watch, and those who watch give advice to those who do it. It is not enough to give advice, but to hide in the dark and make false accusations.
40. The little cat goes to school, and the teacher is giving lectures. It sleeps, listens with its left ear, and hears noise in the right ear. Do you think it is funny or not?
41. The four major weirdos in today’s society: cats don’t catch mice, women don’t like to breastfeed, people become prisoners of computers, and pets replace parents.
42. Top instructions: wash your hands before eating and after going to the toilet; wash your hands when you return from a trip; wash your hands after riding in a car; wash your hands when touching this place.
43. If you are sentimental, you will grow old easily; if you are sentimental, you will die early! If you don’t want to grow old or die early, it would be best to chat with me.
44. Our purpose is: live a beautiful life without feeling guilty about yourself; live a happy day without paying attention to the sadness; live a happy year without saving a penny. money!
45. A man’s life belongs to the country, his income belongs to his wife, his property belongs to his children, his achievements belong to his leader, his body belongs to his lover, and only his shortcomings and mistakes are his own.
46. Everything is inferior, only power is high; there is never an ugly man, as long as there is money. You are tall, handsome, and so lovable that sooner or later you will be put into a sack and thrown into the sea.
47. The east wind blows and the war drums beat. Nowadays, whoever drinks is afraid of the other. One drink for you and one for me. Nowadays, whoever drinks is afraid of the other.
48. I am not a good reader, but my parents forced me to do this. The exam questions are as deep as the sea, and eggs are rolling in.
49. Hello, hello, you eat straw, have more hair and less flesh, love to bathe in rice soup, and say that your skin care effect is very good, you are really a rare living treasure.
50. I often get one or two points, I get three or four points, I get five or six points once a year, and I never get one hundred points.
51. On the morning of the big week, mobile phones are busy, and people are lined up to send text messages. With just one command from you, they will all end up in the garbage heap. Please leave my message in purdah!
52. Everyone knows that wrangling is easy and requires no effort or brainpower. After three and five years, all the problems disappeared.
53. Once upon a time, there was a mountain, and there was a temple in the mountain. In the temple, there was an old monk telling stories to the children. What story was he telling? Once upon a time there was a mountain, and there was a temple in the mountain.
54. Your husband is like a big tree, you must hug it; your lover is like a grass, you must protect it. Plant a big tree and plant a piece of grass. Enjoy the shade under the big trees and walk with birds on the grass.
55. Zhou Bapi, fifty-one, came to steal the chicken in the middle of the night. We were playing a game and caught Zhou Bapi.
56. You are the moon cake and I am the stuffing, we always meet each other. You are the kite and I am the thread, chasing you to lead you. You are the bright moon and I am the spring, perfect for ten thousand years!
57. Pour a glass of red wine to get drunk for you; put on red makeup to be beautiful for you; light a red candle to shed tears for you; walk all the way through the world of mortals, with you by your side.
58. All day long, there is no light in the eyes, three meals a day is not eaten, the limbs are weak, the grains are not separated, the six relatives are not recognized, the seven orifices are blocked, the surroundings are majestic, and they sit still for a long time, which is very useless.
59. If you die, please allow me to go with you. If you live, please don’t abandon me. If you love me, don’t run away. If you love her, don’t act anymore!
60. If being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime. If being stylish is a mistake, then I've made it again and again. What a miserable life!
61. I miss you so much that I can’t sleep, I miss you so much that my heart is pounding; I fall in love with you so much that I am obsessed with you, and I love you so much that I almost die!
62. Four ideals: blow up the Himalayas, walk around the solar system, tile the Great Wall, and vow to turn his wife into a fairy.
63. When the husband is away, the wife tells her: Don’t drink strong alcohol and don’t gamble; don’t pick wild flowers on the roadside; cherish your feelings and care for your wife; only in this way can your husband be called cute!
64. Kiss you a little, bite you a lot, chew you a big mouth, and the couple becomes a new couple.
65. One is not allowed to cry, the other is not allowed to laugh, the third is not allowed to show the little white teeth, and the fourth is not allowed to fart and pop the popcorn.
66. Everyone in the world knows that it is all good. As long as you can make a lot of money, you don't have to worry about moral conscience.
67. Men feel sour if they don’t pick up girls. There is no one to pick up with women, and I feel really irritated. If you don’t date girls, drag them to her for transformation. There are girls who hang out and do justice for heaven.
68. Studying is hard, tiring, and you have to pay tuition for studying. It's better to join a sex party, where you can have food, play, status, and a beautiful woman to sleep with you.
69. Make up your mind to steal the melon, climb in without fear of sacrifice, overcome all difficulties to pick up the big one, and fight for victory and return home.
70. Break your heart, my heart, into flaps, chop into slices, thread it into skewers, sprinkle some pepper noodles, and grill it, mutton skewers.
71. A useless man: one is poor, two is useless, and the other is talentless, his limbs are crippled and his facial features are abnormal, he has no master and seven orifices, he has an unlucky horoscope and is likely to die, he is very useless.
72. This kind of game is really tiring. I practice it every day before going to work and have a meeting. It is fun to practice all morning. I have to practice it to get drunk at noon. Regular practice often hurts the liver and stomach. I always say that I dream when I go to bed to practice it. Not guilty.
73. Get together on the Internet and fall in love on the Internet. Sweet words entangled! Chirp Wai Wai Wai Wai Wai confusing! By the way, friends, find out the gender first!
74. I picked up a pack of cigarettes on the side of the road and handed it to Uncle **. He smoked and nodded to me. I said happily: Uncle, here it is. money!
75. If someone asks you to borrow money every three days, you will feel tired; if you ask someone to borrow money every three days, you will feel tired.
76. In the middle of the night, when I came to the manhole, I saw someone at the bottom. I jumped into the manhole regardless of my own safety, rescued the man, and died heroically. In order to commemorate him, a light was installed in the toilet.
77. A happy and fulfilling life: 70% full, 30% drunk, full harvest; live a high-class life, pay a moderate amount of labor, and enjoy low-class pleasures.
78. Don’t look at me thin, but I am full of muscles; don’t look at me dark, my face is full of brilliance; my head can be broken, but my hairstyle should never be messy; blood can flow, and my leather shoes must be oiled.
79. For your lover, choose someone who is as gentle as water and as sweet as honey; for your colleague, choose someone who works hard and has no temper; for your friend, choose someone who has a pig-headed, dog-brained and runny nose.
80. If the dinosaur thing is done well, it is called Qing Wu Fei Yang; if the daze thing is done well, it is called cool; if the money fraud thing is done well, it is called cool.
81. Purple smoke rises from the incense burner in Rizhao, and mutton skewers are seen hanging in the Qianchuan River from a distance. There are three feet left behind, and there is no money in my pocket.
82. A little pig is amazing. He gets up at eight o'clock every morning, doesn't eat or take medicine, and only eats with his small mouth. You think the little pig is stupid or not, he is still giggling next to him.
83. It was snowing heavily on Sunday morning, and old men picking up rags lined up in a row. At the command of the police, they rushed to the garbage dump and stuffed their worn shoes and socks into their pockets.
84. Rain is ticking, clouds are flowing, songs are free, love is heartfelt, love is crazy, the sky is eternal, and you are unforgettable.
85. I treat you like a jewel, and you treat me like salted fish and water plants. I am infatuated with you, you say I am infatuated with you. My love for you is as deep as the ocean, but you are trying to hurt me.
86. Beauty, beauty, I love you. I will write a love song for you. The title is "I miss you so much" and the content is all about missing you. If you want to ask me what I miss you, I swear I will catch you.
87. Driver’s suffering: endless smiles, endless kind words, endless cigarettes, and endless fines.
88. There are a lot of rotten sand fruits, so try them first before buying so you don’t suffer a loss. You have suffered a loss. Don't blame me. Who told you to buy my rotten fruit?
89. The sufferings of a romantic man: telling lies behind his wife’s back, telling jokes when meeting his mistress, telling nonsense when meeting a young lady, and talking nonsense with friends.
90. Lao Wu Lao Wu sells roasted soil. No one can mend his torn pants. He only pays five yuan for mending them. Lao Wu was so angry that he kept dancing.
91. You are so handsome, your hair is like a ball of kelp, you wear a sack, and you have a shoelace tied around your waist, and you are always mischievous! Do you think you are the most handsome in the world? In fact, he is a second-generation neurotic!
92. The first grader died, the second grader carried him, the third grader dug a hole and the fourth grade buried him, the fifth grader cried so hard that he couldn’t get up, and the sixth grader didn’t even come.
93. The graceful and handsome young man is the beauty of the world. If you respond with sincerity, I will love you for ten thousand years.
94. When you don’t have a girlfriend, you are a hunting dog, when you find the target, you are a lapdog, when you get it, you are a wolfdog, and when you lose it, you are a dead dog.
95. Tonight I came to your window again. Why is your head not exposed on the curtain? I have been secretly in love with you for so many years, and tomorrow I will say it for nothing!
96. The four big earners: grassroots police stations, township tax offices, bank credit units, and stage glory.
97. You should take good care of yourself when you are far away. Don’t catch a cold and have a runny nose. You can also sneeze occasionally. That means I am thinking of you!
98. Purple smoke rises from the incense burner in Rizhao, and mutton skewers are seen hanging in front of the river in the distance. I have left three thousand feet behind, and there is no money in my pocket.
99. Today’s phenomenon: there are many beauties when you open a magazine, there are many TV advertisements when you open them, there are many clichés when you pick up a newspaper, and there are many signatures when you read an article.
100. You are very cute, but pitiful and unloved; you are annoying, but lovable and never get tired of being loved; you are very smart, and the first in flushing the toilet; you are very temperamental, and have the nature to irritate people. .
The address of this article: A collection of funny jingles and jokes