One of my elders had a bad career in his early years. No matter how hard he worked and paid, he was always difficult to get ahead and was repeatedly suppressed.
after years of frustration, he found a fortune teller who was rumored to be very clever.
Mr. Xiang Ming said, "When the villain is in power, you can't turn over. Life should be, don't struggle. Let you be small, and you will be low; If you dare to look up, you will be in trouble. "
The elder asked, "Isn't there a day to turn over?"
Mr. Xiang Ming said, "Let me count on my fingers. When you are 46, your luck will turn. Only when the time comes, planes, tanks and cannons can't stop your good fortune. "
After hearing this, the elder felt suddenly enlightened. "There should have been such a disaster in my life, so I don't have to make any unnecessary resistance! Anyway, just wait for the arrival of the 46-year-old ... "
So instead of worrying every day, I should eat and sleep-guess what? At the age of 46, he really rose to the top and prospered.
In fact, the core of fortune telling is the algorithm. However, most people who turn to fortune telling are similar to their elders who have lost themselves. They are in a state of depression and frustration, losing their sense of control over life, and their sense of security has also been affected. Their psychological dependence has increased. Fortune telling will inevitably assume the role of psychological counselor for thousands of years.
fortune-telling psychology; Psychology ≠ Fortune-telling
Actually, fortune-telling only uses part of psychology to make deduction, which is taken out of context and has no scientific basis. It just uses the weakness of human nature to make profits for itself.
for example, the fortune teller told his elders that your career was not smooth in your early years, so it was your destiny. How can people fight with each other? Why struggle to operate? It is better to accept fate, dispel your inner unwillingness, calmly deal with it, and follow the trend.
Isn't this what psychology often says about "acceptance"?
According to psychology, a person with a full function can recognize and accept the good or bad in his life and live in the present without judgment.
then, why does a person feel anxious?
it is often because of negative events in the past (or negative expectations for the future) that people are overly distracted. Fortune-telling turned it into external attribution-"I am a good man, but my luck is bad").
At the same time, "acceptance" does not mean giving up coping, and the purpose of acceptance is to change. If you can really accept yourself, the change may have happened inadvertently-because you have gradually approached the "mentally sound person" in Rogers' eyes.
sometimes, it is difficult for you to try to accept it and convince yourself with yourself. You have to find a higher level of existence to force you to convince yourself to work.
this higher-level existence is "fate" or "spirit".
then someone may ask, acceptance is acceptance, which can be said to be very calm acceptance, but what happened when the elder really prospered at the age of 46?
This is a very common concept in psychology-pygmalion effect, also known as self-testifying prophecy, which means that people will unconsciously act according to the known prophecy and eventually make it happen.
The classic experiment of self-testimony prediction may be familiar to everyone:
It is a group of psychologists who ran to the school and said to several teachers: I found that there are so many children in your school that they are rare talents! At the same time, you are also good teachers selected by us. Now I hope that you will be the strong leader to take Qiang Bing!
What was the result? Sure enough, these students stood out in the later exams
But what was the truth? These students and teachers are all chosen by psychologists with their eyes closed.
Then why are there self-testifying prophecies?
because people don't passively accept environmental influences, but actively respond according to personal expectations, so that expectations can be realized. The firmer your belief, the more you can exert your subjective initiative.
when I firmly believe that I will be successful in my official career at the age of 46, I will unconsciously pay attention to and strengthen the positive information that meets this expectation, and these positive information will make me more and more optimistic and confident, thus inducing more positive information. In the long run, a virtuous circle will become more and more positive in my mentality and behavior-think that Lao Tzu is a "man who is about to reach the peak of his life". That's not just walking with wind and domineering.
For example, when people encounter such things as "ghosts possessed" and "animals possessed", many ordinary people like to invite "dancing gods" to jump.
These conditions are actually hysteria, also known as separation and conversion disorder, and are often mental disorders caused by negative events, psychological conflicts, hints or self-hints in life.
For example, my mother-in-law treated her daughter-in-law badly, and suddenly one day her daughter-in-law was "possessed" by her dead mother-in-law, warning her mother-in-law "Don't abuse my daughter again, or I will come to see you every day". Scared her mother-in-law from bullying her daughter-in-law, and so on.
At this time, the role of the jumping god is the role of a wild "psychiatrist" (I'm really not a black psychiatrist).
People who suffer from hysteria are often people who are not cared about, lack confidence and are easily hinted at on weekdays. Then, with the concern of family members and the relief of the great god, the patient first got care; Another "disposal practice" has strengthened the confidence of patients in healing; Then, psychological hints are given to patients with "the power of the gods", which coincides with psychotherapy ...
In summary, the reason for the so-called "accurate fortune telling" is very simple, and there are only four things over and over again:
①. "You can't remember the inaccurate ones, but the right ones are repeatedly praised", which is the famous "survivor deviation".
②. The predicted thing is ambiguous or it will take a long time to be fulfilled. In short, you can't say that it is wrong, that is, it can't be falsified.
For example, "You can get lucky if you drink enough water this month". As a result, you drink water desperately, but almost nothing good happened this month. So good, that means you haven't drunk enough water.
In short, this sentence can always be in an invincible position, because you never know what "enough" is, and this is "not falsifiable".
There is another so-called result that cannot be falsified, that is, the predicted content is too long to be verified in a short time. For example, "You will be successful in my official career in the future", so what is the future? Does 1 years count? Does 3 years count? In short, it ended in nothing. The feng shui master has already collected the money and left.
③. Ambiguous and wordless words will easily make you feel to the point, which is called "Barnum effect" in academic circles. ④. Encouraging words will make you more confident and do better. Attacking your comments makes you prone to decadence and failure, which is the "pygmalion effect" of the feedback system.
why does that man always want to tell fortune?
Of course, curiosity comes first.
Secondly, avoid the uncertainty in life.
for many people, "unknown results" are more terrible than "bad results". For example, waiting for the interview results or the diagnosis report of seeing a doctor. Unknown and uncontrollable situations make people fidget, and we will hope to get rid of uncertainty as soon as possible.
Then there is a second psychology: in order to avoid decision fatigue, choose a convenient "fortune telling".
psychologists point out that in reality, too many choices will also cause people a huge ideological burden, which requires people to spend more energy and brain power to calculate and weigh. It won't take long for people to feel the fatigue caused by excessive burden, which is called "decision fatigue".
finally, the third psychology: people who are afraid of taking responsibility and would rather give up their freedom often say that "freedom" is precious and beautiful, but freedom is also a heavy burden of life.
For example, when a person graduates, he gives up looking for a job in his major and works hard in a new industry. If he fails later, he can't blame others. Therefore, freedom means responsibility.
Some people are afraid to make choices for important life problems because they don't want to face possible negative results. So, they gave up their choice and handed it over to "fate".
Even if this choice finally leads to failure, they don't have to blame themselves, because they think it's a "fate" and a fact that they can't change.
They are more afraid of facing their weakness and powerlessness after making their own choices than possible failure.
Actually, fortune telling is accurate or not, not the fortune teller, but the difference in our hearts!