A: Special crosstalk in universities.
B: That's right.
It's our turn to perform.
B: Yes.
A: Introduce the person next to me.
B: Introduce what?
A: xxx
B: It's me.
A: The master of crosstalk club.
I'm a chef. Why?
A: That's called.
B: Big teacher.
A: Yes, the great teacher of the Crosstalk Club.
Just so-so
He is the best crosstalk performer in our school.
B: Draw a general from the donkey.
A: There is a word called unprecedented.
B: Yes.
A: Unprecedented. You did it.
Sort of.
I very much hope that you will never see me again.
I'll put in a good word for you.
A: I wish you farewell.
Hmm?
I bid you farewell (gesture)
B: Why does it sound so awkward? Do I look like a eunuch to everyone? (orchid finger movement)
Look what you've done. I said that your cross talk art is the last in our school.
B: Then I hope you can surpass me.
A: Why?
B: Then you're dead.
A: I haven't heard of it ... I like you very much.
What do you like about me?
A: Not only do you speak cross talk well, but you are also very cultured.
You praised me.
A: Educated people love to deal with educated people.
You hit it off.
A: You have taught me one thing all your life.
B: What's this?
Last time, we went out together.
I went on a trip.
A: By train.
B: Yes.
A: The two of us are sitting in the car 1, next to the train connection. There is a bathroom on the road.
B: That's right.
A: Everyone has seen this bathroom.
B: Hmm.
A: When no one is around, the bathroom lock is open, and it can only be locked if someone goes in and twists it.
B: Right, right, right.
A: It's locked. The red card says "someone" below.
B: Hmm.
A: It's unlocked. There is a green sign under it, which says "Nobody".
B: It's all like this.
A: Yes, Mr. X got on the train, had something urgent to urinate, went into the bathroom and carefully read the sign, "No one".
Oh, that's a green card.
Open the door, something unexpected has happened.
Is there nobody here?
A: There is a lesbian squatting inside.
B: How embarrassing is this?
A: Mr. X hurried out and wanted to put others aside and left.
B: Please come back later.
A: xxx has a high self-cultivation and blames himself at home.
B: Here. ...
How could I be so reckless?
Oh, oh
I knocked on the door.
That's true.
Do I cough?
B: Hmm.
A: How ugly are the faces of other lesbians?
B: think more about it, too
How embarrassed is he?
B: Yes.
A: Pack your clothes, put on your glasses, and open the door (leaning over): Sorry ...
No, no, no ... (Block A)
A: Educated.
B: cultured? Isn't this a hooligan? I didn't see clearly, so I put on my glasses. Isn't that evil?
A: You have a hard time with your conscience.
B: it can't be like this.
A: Most people can't.
B: That's right.
A: It must be a person with personality.
Come on, I'm losing my virtue.
A: Educated people are willing to share their own things with educated people.
B: You also watch girls go to the bathroom?
A: It's not the toilet. I pay great attention to self-cultivation when dealing with things at school.
B: it should be noted that
But I will tolerate anything that goes wrong.
You are very cultured.
But I have a bad day almost every day.
Really?
A: I don't even want to talk about it.
B: Then I'd like to ask.
you said
Do you regard me as a friend?
A: Certainly.
B: Then you might as well talk to me. So many audience friends may help you out.
A: Well, I might as well talk about it.
Well, tell me, make everyone happy.
A: Huh? What do you mean?
B: I mean, let everyone listen to it, too.
That's more like it. If you want to talk about me, I have no ability.
B: Don't be pessimistic.
A: My greatest specialty is knowing two cross talks.
B: At least you are among the best in our school.
But you always give orders in our cross talk club.
Not that great.
A: I also teach crosstalk classes in the club every week.
B: preaching and teaching to solve doubts
A: AsiaInfo gave a lecture. It's nice to have fun on the stage.
B: Not easy.
A: I looked jealous and thought, I'll try, too.
B: psychological imbalance
A: God really opened his eyes. Give me a chance.
Really?
A: Brother Xin had a party class just two weeks ago, so he couldn't be absent.
B: We can't ignore it.
You can't stop class here.
B: Yes.
A: Teacher Zhang sent me a text message asking me to come to the last class.
B: substitute class
He trusted me.
B: That's right.
A: It's time for me to show my face on the stage and make an impassioned speech.
B: Yes.
A: But it may not be coke or anything. There is a girl lying in the middle of the first row.
Oh, I fell asleep.
A: I was unhappy at first sight.
Will that make you happy?
A: "You, you, you, get up ~ don't sleep. Hey "
Oh, I woke up.
A: "What about this class? Do you know? "
B: educate me.
A: "I sweated and gasped on it, and you didn't respond at all below." Don't call me incompetent when you have nothing in your stomach! "
B: Alas ~ ~ ~ You are really not fit to be a substitute teacher.
A: What's wrong?
B: Are you a gangster?
A: Well, there is a good saying.
What did you say?/Sorry?
A: If you want to learn, you have to sleep with Master.
I've never heard of it!
A: Anyway, I can't mix the phonological world.
Yes, otherwise our club will have to open an orphanage.
A: What bothers me more is that I am always bullied when my life is not smooth.
Really?
But I put up with it
B: be polite
I shit on my neck.
B: Is it so overbearing?
If it's dry, I'll pull it down
wow ...
A: I'll wash the loose bowels.
I can bear it.
But they have diarrhea on my neck.
Too many.
A: I can stand it.
How can you stand this dysentery?
A: I'm really unlucky.
B: Who bullied you? What is this?
A: Just say I spent it last year.
B: Hmm.
A: Just a freshman.
B: Yes.
A: I graduated from high school and came to our school.
B: Yes.
A: My heart says that freshmen should enjoy life.
B: Have fun.
A: High school is so busy that I don't even have a girlfriend.
B: a slight loss.
A: Hey, I haven't been a freshman for three months. I really have one.
B: then congratulations.
What are you happy about?
B: What's wrong?
A: I wouldn't be so depressed without this girlfriend.
Really? Then you can elaborate on it.
Well, now on campus, many people call their girlfriends wives.
B: it seems almost there.
A: But my girlfriend is not a "wife".
B: Does she count?
sweetheart
B: Is there any difference between a lover and a wife and a girlfriend?
A: Although wife and lover are just two names for girlfriends, they are actually very different.
Tell me about it.
A: Give a few examples and you will understand.
B: What example?
A: I think my wife is like a savings card, saving the money you earn from your internship bit by bit.
B: that's the principle.
A: A lover is like a credit card, which helps you spend the money you haven't earned yet.
B: Well, some girlfriends spend a lot of money.
A: "Wife" is like a dictionary. Although boring, I can accompany you to college for at least four years.
B: Yes.
A: A lover is like a poster. It tempts you, but it only takes two eyes to get through.
B: I feel the same way.
A: "Wife" is like a stainless steel spoon. As long as you don't dislike her, she can always accompany you.
What about the lover
A: Lovers are like disposable chopsticks. Once you use them, they are worthless.
Oh, a good metaphor (wiping sweat)
My wife is a bike. Although she can't shelter you from the wind and rain, she can go through thick and thin with you.
Good wife
A: A lover is like a bus. Anyone who has money can go above.
B: We also support going together.
In Beijing, a wife is like breakfast. Five dollars can enrich you.
What about the lover
A: Lover is a real estate in Beijing. You have invested a lot of money, so you can only use her space (making XXOO gestures).
Oh, it's so rich. I want to ask, what does space mean?
A: Every woman is actually a three-bedroom apartment, you know.
Oh, needless to say, we understand.
A: Just say I'm a lover.
Your girlfriend?
This makes me very angry.
B: Why?
A: My girlfriend, she also has a great personality.
B: how to personalize it?
There are four people in our dormitory.
B: Yes.
A: I am the second child.
Well, you bastard.
A: Why does it sound awkward?
B: You said you were the second child.
A: I came in second.
That's what I mean
A: My girlfriend, annoying, took our third child to get a room.
B: it's called character.
A: Personality.
She's shameless, you know?
You can't say that.
B: Is it more like getting a room with your brother?
We don't really match.
B: So who's your girlfriend?
This is my big brother Ma Zi.
B: What a mess! Who is in which dormitory?
A: It was a mistake for this girl to give us a fourth child.
B: Then you are completely confused.
Mencius has a cloud:
What did you say?/Sorry?
A: "It is better to be happy with others than to be happy with one person."
B: That's very generous of you.
A: Isn't it a pleasure to marry a wife, and everyone has a wife?
There is nothing like this.
A: But in this case, you must find a way to solve it.
B: That's right.
I want to negotiate
Yes, we need to talk.
A: Invite our third child and ex-girlfriend to a restaurant for dinner.
B: desktop meeting
A: My treat. We can talk about how to solve this problem over dinner.
B: Yes.
A: there are contradictions at the dinner table.
Disagree?
A: No.
B: What's the contradiction?
A: I live on 1000 yuan a month. My girlfriend wants to eat lobster.
B: Isn't it fatal?
I'll discuss it with her.
B: how to discuss it?
A: "Why don't we eat crayfish?"
B: Oh, it's very cheap.
A: No, my girlfriend wants to eat lobster.
B: Really?
Or there's nothing to talk about
B: Yes.
A: I said crayfish, and my girlfriend said lobster. There was an argument. At this point, I should be a man.
How?
A: I got angry at once, and everyone around me turned to our table. I said a word and stopped everyone in the town.
What did you say?/Sorry?
A: "What's wrong with Xiao? What's wrong with Xiao? ! Can't I satisfy you? !"
Wow ~ ~ ~ ~
Everyone gave me a strange look.
I want to go there. I want to call the police.
A: My third brother picked up my girlfriend and left.
Didn't he smoke when he left? That's very cultured
A: well, I don't want to see it either
B: What about you?
Have a big meal first, and then settle accounts with them.
Are you still in the mood for dinner?
A: Shouting: (snapping) "Waiter, order"
B: It's very fashionable.
Answer: "Three peanuts, one or two beers."
B: Do you have two beers?
A: If you want to eat less, you should know more about this wine.
B: It's true.
All I can think about is how to get revenge
B: Yes.
A: I'm so bored that I don't want to drink tea or swallow food.
B: You've become Lin Daiyu.
A: Unless I take them down, my surname is not Zhang.
You are strong enough.
A: Think about it!
B: Think about it!
A: After thinking and thinking, I have a wonderful plan.
Tell me about it.
A: It was past 1 1 when I went back that night.
B: Lights out.
A: My third son has a habit.
B: What habits?
Jeans are good.
B: Oh.
A: OK, that's it.
B: Why?
A: While everyone was asleep, I clicked with scissors.
B: Why?
I cut the inner thigh of his pants.
B: Isn't it broken?
A: I just put on my third child the next day and didn't notice it.
Oh, oh
A: As soon as class begins, I feel cold in my thighs when I sit in the classroom.
B: Air leakage.
A: Look down, there is a cut.
I see.
Zhi Ya Hanako: Who did this? It's evil.
B: Hmm.
A: He was wondering, so I went over and said:
What did you say?/Sorry?
A: "I'm sorry about last night. I apologize for your ignorance. Look, your pants seem to be broken. I have a sister named XX. "
Oh, XX
A: "She is very good at sewing. Shall I ask her to sew it for you at noon? "
What did he say?
A: He is really obedient: "Are you all right?"
B: Yes.
A: After class at noon, everyone else left, leaving only me and my third child in the class.
B: That's all that's left.
A: Wait, XX will come with a needle and thread later.
B: How can she be so coincidental?
A: I contacted you.
B: They are all friends.
A: Sew it.
sew
A: When I went out, A:XX was sewing pants for my third child.
Why are you going?
A: Call her girlfriend and ask her to come over.
Will she come?
A: When she heard that the third child was here, she was really obedient.
B: How about that?
Five minutes later, we arrived.
It is very obedient
A: The inside has just been sewn.
B: Yes.
A: Everyone has seen pants. After sewing the threads, you have to bite them off.
B: It's all like this.
A: The third child just sat there (acting).
Shuohuazhilv sharp, no feelings.
Answer: XX kneels down and bites the thread (action)
Bite it
A: Third, his girlfriend saw this scene as soon as she entered the room.
B: Yes.
A: This is a misunderstanding.
B: Why?
A: I can't help but misunderstand that the third child is sitting there and a girl is kneeling and buried between their legs. I don't know if this is sewing pants and biting the thread, thinking it is here to serve him.
B: Isn't it fatal?
A: At this moment, I saw his girlfriend's tripods jump violently, and the pentapods rose in the air and waved "Bang!" Give old three a big mouth.
B: It's really irritating.
A: The old man with a big mouth turned the chair three times.
B: it's so energetic.
A: "Third, we can't be at loggerheads in the future! ! "Then his girlfriend walked away.
B: That's it?
My trick succeeded.
B: Only you can figure it out.
A: It's like biting a thread and blowing oral sex. It looks the same anyway.
B: I've spent all my thoughts here.
A: Anyway, the third child broke up with my ex-girlfriend anyway.
You are such a loser.
A: The third child is also single.
B: Yes.
A: My ex-girlfriend is not bad. She found another boyfriend for half a month.
B: Who is it?
AB: Old four.
I knew it. Isn't this all messed up?
A: Lao Si is very satisfied with our three ex-girlfriends.
That sounds awkward.
A: Just say this day.
B: Why?
A: Our ex-girlfriend will have a birthday soon.
B: Hello.
A: We summed it up the night before, so congratulations.
I should congratulate you.
A: the boss just said.
The boss said?
A: "There are four people in the family, and one person is responsible."
B: That's right.
Answer: "Although, this girl is the girlfriend of Lao Si."
B: That's right.
A: "But she is also the ex-girlfriend of the three of us."
B: That's right.
A: "The five of us are destiny takes a hand."
B: it's not a good fate.
A: "How about this?"
B: How about that?
A: "The four of us will stay until midnight and send a message to wish her a' happy birthday'."
good idea
A: "Everyone sends a sentence."
How do you send this?
Answer: "eldest brother, second child, third child and fourth child, we each have one."
Tell me.
A: "I am the boss. I pronounce the word "health", the second one, the third one, the fast one, the fourth one and the happy one, which together means "happy birthday"! "
B: It's exquisite.
A: I sent it at midnight on 12.
B: It's done.
A: Go to sleep. I will receive the notice the next day. The moral education department asked me to go.
B: What's wrong?
A: I sent rogue messages to girls.
B: Is that right?
A: I quickly asked the boss what happened to the third and fourth children.
I have to ask.
A: It's embarrassing when I ask.
B: Why?
A: None of them pronounced the words "sheng", "kuai" and "le".
B: Huh?
A: I sent a "day"!
Well, you're here to dig a hole.
A: You see, my girlfriend bullied me and my roommate bullied me. What way can a good man go?
B: You are not a good person either.
A: I don't like anyone.
be in a bad mood
A: Especially our fourth child slept with my ex-girlfriend.
It was daytime.
What do you mean?
B: Not only in love, but also at night.
I really can't chat with you. I am so embarrassed.
B: Then I wouldn't say "crayfish" either.
A: Forget it ... Go back to the dormitory from the moral education office after this.
Go home
A: A few minutes after I sat down, a courier came at the door.
Oh? Who is it for?
A: When Old Four saw this express, he stood up and went over to sign for the goods.
B: Old Four's set meal.
This package is not big. There are six small characters written on the seal.
B: What word?
A: "Dragon and Phoenix Sexy Dice"
This thing is fresh.
He opened the small bag, two big dice,
A pair?
A: Not a pair. The content above is different.
What is the content?
A: This dice is for lovers, one for men and one for women.
B: Couple color.
A: There is a dice called "Dragon Color", which was thrown by a boy. Six faces are written with six actions such as "touching", "licking" and "hugging".
B: oh, oh, boys control their movements.
A: The other one is called "Phoenix Color", which was thrown by girls. These six faces are six parts of the female body.
Oh, the girl controls the role.
A: Since Lao Si got these dice, he hasn't returned to the dormitory every night, and he is having a good time with his girlfriend.
B: It's cool.
A: I am already very lonely, but I am even more lonely when I see this.
B: Yes.
I also go to the Internet cafe?
B: Why?
Is there anything good in Tao Tao?
Oh?
Answer: Lao Si's dice were bought online. Let me have a look.
B: Take a chance.
A: If it is not guaranteed, there will be good goods.
Maybe
A: I turned it for ten minutes.
B: That's quite a lot.
A: This is really a treasure.
What baby?
A: It's called "Single Sexy Dice"
B: Oh, playing alone.
A: It's eighty yuan each.
B: it's a little more expensive
A: The following advertising language is very attractive.
What did you say?/Sorry?
A: "Dear single friend, do you want to eliminate loneliness? Are you immersed in the misery of having no object? Are you horny? Come on, unisexual dice can bring you an unexpected happy experience. "
B: That's good.
Hey, then buy it.
B: Yes.
A: Click "Order" and it really arrived the next night.
B: That was quick.
A small bag with a seal that says "single sexy dice"
This is your goods.
A: I didn't open it in the dormitory either.
Oh, the scoop.
I found an empty classroom.
B: Hmm.
Close the door, close the curtains and open the package carefully.
Disgusting
A: My single sex is sexy …
B: Have a good look.
A: After unpacking, I picked up this dice and saw my tears come down.
B: Why?
I saw the same word written on six faces.
B: What word?
A: Hey!
B: Mind your own business. ...