Do you know how to adjust the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? As a person caught between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how to deal with the contradiction between them is particularly important, and it is necessary to master certain methods. I am here to share with you how to adjust the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, hoping to inspire you.
How to adjust the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1: If there are differences, avoid conflicts and be polite first.
Once there is friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, whether it is right or wrong, the daughter-in-law must first be patient and never be tit for tat. Listen to her mother-in-law first, and then discuss the causes and solutions of the contradiction when both sides are calm afterwards. In this way, my mother-in-law has great face and will try to make up for her mistakes in the future. In the eyes of her mother-in-law, you are a good daughter-in-law.
In addition, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have opinions on weekdays, and it is forbidden to talk with neighbors, colleagues or friends. There is a folk proverb in our country: "The less you take, the more you talk." . I'm talking about the bad influence of "passing words" in interpersonal relationships. If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not in harmony, telling relatives and neighbors will spread beyond recognition, which will only aggravate the contradiction. As a mother-in-law, you should take a warning.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: mutual respect and understanding
Mutual respect between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires both families to discuss things, such as economic expenses, how to raise the third generation and cultivate a democratic family style; Personal affairs should not interfere with each other, and individuals should enjoy "autonomy".
As a daughter-in-law, you should respect your mother-in-law, because her mother-in-law is old and has rich experience in housekeeping or teaching children. A mother-in-law should not always put on airs in front of her daughter-in-law, but should see the advantages of her daughter-in-law and listen to her opinions, especially the problem of raising children. In other words, the two sides should cooperate and respect each other. After living together for many years, it is inevitable that some uncoordinated things will happen. At this time, it is even more necessary for both sides to understand each other.
The principles of "put yourself in the other's shoes" and "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" advocated by our ancestors in dealing with interpersonal relationships all contain the idea of understanding, which is the "golden rule" in dealing with interpersonal relationships and is completely applicable to dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: playing the intermediary role of son
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is originally a new family interpersonal relationship formed by the extension of parent-child relationship and husband-wife relationship, and the son plays the role of "intermediary" in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Sons can help mother-in-law and daughter-in-law communicate psychologically. For example, if there are any good things about her mother-in-law at home on weekdays, her son can invite his wife to come forward more, and her mother can buy something for her birthday and ask her to come forward and give it to the elderly. These strategies are conducive to emotional communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, the son can play a role of counseling. Because the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lack the kindness between mother and son. There is no sense of closeness between husband and wife, so it is often difficult to bridge the gap. Through the interaction of sons, psychological barriers can be eliminated and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be reconciled.
How to adjust the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? It is best to adjust yourself first.
Proper "spitting" and correct guidance will certainly help improve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The improvement of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law depends on the change of attitude of either party. Instead of obsessing about her mother-in-law's mistakes every day and expecting her to make changes, it is better to adjust yourself first. In other words, if you change, she will change, and at this time, the adjustment direction of the daughter-in-law can be completed through active "spit".
Of course, the above opinions are all from the perspective of the daughter-in-law, so the mother-in-law should also know that since she has come to her son's house, her son and he are the master and mistress of this small family, and she should also put herself in a proper position, not be the master of everything, but also pretend to be the mistress.
There are many reasonable channels to vent their emotions. It is a good choice to talk to someone you trust who can handle this problem well, or to talk to the marriage and family counselor of the corresponding consulting institution, and you can get positive guidance.
Tucao mother-in-law should be careful
You choose to talk about how bad your mother-in-law is in the mother group. In fact, you just want to talk to someone about your negative emotions in this respect and want to get other mothers. A kind of understanding, when we pour out our inner dissatisfaction and depression, the people who pour out can understand and support us emotionally, and we can feel the happiness of coming out quickly and returning to our daily life after venting negative emotions, but you have not got a positive understanding and response when you pour out in the mother group.
What should a daughter-in-law do if she encounters a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
Facing the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the first thing a daughter-in-law should do is to respect her mother-in-law. She can't completely deny her mother-in-law's contribution just because her past experience is unscientific and her form can't keep up. As an old man, decades of life experience and the growth of her son are her pride. In many conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law often feels wronged and feels that her efforts have not been recognized. Therefore, daughters-in-law can praise their mother-in-law's efforts first. You know, some people do better than no one. As for how to do it, the daughters-in-law will put forward what you think is better after praising their mother-in-law.
Second, give your mother-in-law a trust. Daughter-in-law often only faces the change of role, and naturally has postpartum anxiety. If they worry too much about their children, it is easy to have the idea that "it doesn't matter what you do to me, you must do what you do to my children". You know, your child is also her grandson, and your mother-in-law will give the best to her grandson within her ability, which is what the daughter-in-law must see.
Third, if the daughters-in-law really have doubts about her mother-in-law's practice, don't question her face to face. They can close the door and let their husbands give her a good feedback. The old man must face it bravely, even if he is wrong. Her son's adoption is more acceptable than her daughter-in-law's.