On the morning of March 19, a middle-aged man took his daughter to the emergency department of Wuhan Children's Hospital. He told the doctor that 14-year-old daughter Qing Qing took a bottle of liver protection medicine the night before.
The medical staff at the scene recognized the father and daughter because the girl deliberately took a variety of cold medicines and wanted to commit suicide, just after the Spring Festival. Less than a month later, Qingqing tried to end his life? .
Qingqing's father, Mr. Zhang, is a teacher. When Qingqing was 4 years old, he divorced his wife. After that, he raised Qingqing alone, and made a lot of efforts for Qingqing.
The hospital doctor asked Qingqing why she wanted to take medicine. She said airily, "Nothing, I just don't want to live." Under the guidance of the doctor, Qing Qing said, "Because my father doesn't understand, he won't listen to anything I say. He always thinks he is right."
And Mr. Zhang is also full of grievances. He said that he had been suffering in recent years, but Qingqing became more and more disobedient. He is more worried that Qingqing often discusses with his friends which way to die.
The news shocked me. On the one hand, I feel sorry for Sang Ni's indifference to life. A teenage girl who should have a bright future has been thinking about how to die.
On the other hand, I am even more saddened by what Mr. Zhang has done. As a teacher, although she is wholeheartedly good for sunny, she ignores sunny's psychological growth and is unwilling to listen to her children's voices, which leads to her lovelessness.
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Looking through the news casually, there are many examples of teenagers committing suicide, which are shocking one by one.
20 18 1.7 A boy 15 years old in Nanchang, Jiangxi committed suicide by jumping off a building, and left a suicide note saying, "I once brought a lot of laughter to the world, but I couldn't bring myself joy."
2017165438+1October14th, a girl aged 10 committed suicide at home, leaving a handwritten suicide note and a farewell video. Although the suicide note said it was her own fault, she hoped her parents would stop quarreling.
20 171On October 27th, a boy aged 15 in Zhenxiong County, Yunnan Province committed suicide by drinking pesticides on New Year's Eve. He left a last note saying that his death was a relief to himself. When he dies, his father will be very happy and nothing will disturb him.
Behind the cold numbers, there is fresh life. These teenagers deserve a bright future. Why are they so determined to give up their lives?
Combing the words left by these children who committed suicide, it is not difficult to see that the biggest reason that led them to a dead end is their parents' incomprehension and intolerance.
When children want to talk to their parents and get their understanding and support, many parents arbitrarily tell their children that there is nothing wrong with listening to their parents.
Refuse again and again, and refuse again and again, and the child's psychology will only become more and more closed. When the last straw is pressed, it is a moment of despair for children.
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In the fifth season of the variety show "Where's Dad?", Jordan chan said that because of his busy work, he seldom accompanied his son Jasper, so his son was not close to him. He used the opportunity of participating in the program to enhance the affection between father and son.
Then, as soon as the show started, Jordan chan asked Jasper to quickly go on a hot search, because his face was dark. Many people saw Jasper's witty response, but I saw the subsequent changes in Jordan chan.
After apologizing to his son on the spot, when Jasper mentioned daytime again in the evening, Jordan chan sincerely apologized again and asked his son to forgive him.
In later programs, the interaction between Jordan chan and Jasper became smoother and smoother. It is precisely because Jordan chan understood the importance of communication with his son that he won his son's trust and love.
Qi, a child psychologist, said that parent-child communication is an effective emotional communication between parents and children, including the interactive communication of language, body and facial expressions.
He emphasized that in the process of parent-child communication, it is very important for parents to kneel down and communicate with their children on an equal footing. Many parents have poor communication with their children, mainly because they don't understand their inner thoughts first.
Children are eager for their parents' understanding and respect. They are willing to tell their parents what they think, but many parents fail to listen carefully to their children's voices.
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No parents want their children to be brain-dead, and they don't want to see their children go to a dead end. Therefore, as parents, they must have the awareness and action to plan ahead.
Respect children's independent personality and treat them equally.
Montessori, an Italian preschool educator, believes that every child is born with a mental embryo.
A child is an independent person with his own independent personality from the moment he leaves his mother. He is not a vassal of his parents, nor a tool for them to realize their ideals. He is himself and has a unique existence.
In the news, Qingqing committed suicide twice in a month because her father asked her to be obedient and didn't give Qingqing a chance to express her heart.
Even Sunny committed suicide against her father. As a people's teacher, my father complained bitterly that he had paid too much for Sang Ni. He doesn't know how to respect children's independent personality at all, let alone treat children equally.
Parents should understand that although your child was born to you, he is a thoughtful person. You should respect his rights as a human being and his personality.
Establish smooth communication channels, accept and tolerate children's ideas.
Why do children dislike talking to their parents as they grow up? It's not that children don't want to say it, but that what they say won't be recognized by their parents and even criticized. Of course, the child doesn't want to talk about it.
Some people say that parents should actively create a harmonious and relaxed communication atmosphere, so that children are willing to open their hearts and communicate with their parents. Only in this way can the child's psychological problems be solved.
Xiongxian, Yunnan 15 boy thinks that his existence has brought great trouble to his parents, so he feels better to die, but he doesn't know his parents' love for him at all, because his parents never told him.
Some parents didn't understand their children's real thoughts until they saw their children's suicide note, but it was too late then. To avoid such a tragedy from happening again, parents should take the initiative to assume the responsibility of communicating with their children.
No matter how unorthodox the child says, parents should first accept the child's emotions and tolerate his thoughts, so that the child will be willing to share his inner feelings with you.
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Guide children to learn to ease their emotions and seek suitable solutions.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong said that true love is to see a child's real existence, discover his real needs and help him realize his needs.
If parents of girls aged 0/0 in Fengxian County, Jiangsu Province could see their children's depression as soon as possible, communicate with them more and guide them to express their thoughts, maybe the result would not be like this.
Watching a child's favorite movie, going to the suburbs to ride a bike, or even taking the child's hand for a walk will let the child know that his parents' love for him will never change.
When the child's mood is stable, you can talk to the child several times, negotiate together, find a solution acceptable to both sides, and put it into action.
Give life education to children and let them understand the value of life.
Why does Qingqing want to die just because she had an argument with her father? In fact, our life education is not in place, which will make children lack the basic awe of life.
Lin Kunhui, an expert in life education in Taiwan Province Province, said that what parents should do most is to let their children love you and remind them of their parents when they encounter problems. When a suicidal person has parents in his heart, he will not choose to die. Only when there is no one worthy of his nostalgia in his heart will he lose the motivation to survive.
Parents should let their children feel your love and respect for them, and tell them that life is the most precious thing for everyone, and life is only once for everyone, so cherish life.
Wu Zhihong said that everyone is the most powerful only when he lives for himself. Parents should tell their children that he should be responsible for his own life and live in his own way.
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Psychologist Xu Tiansheng said that all "problems" are rooted in parents replacing respect with control, replacing inspiration with command, and replacing trust with doubt, so that children can't find a way out and love in life.
Those children who give up their lives can't find a way out of life and can't feel the love of their parents, so they will choose to commit suicide.
Wu Zhihong said that the rule at home is to cherish, and the way to cherish is to understand and accept.
Parents must take responsibility, understand and accept their children's inner world, let them find an outlet in confusion, learn to cherish life and live a wonderful life of their own.