Figure/from the network
Stories/from the side
First of all, let me introduce what rabbit lips are.
According to the doctor, rabbit lip is a congenital defect, which is medically called cleft lip or cleft lip and palate. There are more men than women. Cleft lip and palate can be unilateral or bilateral, complete or incomplete. This defect not only affects appearance, but also affects pronunciation, swallowing and sucking milk. The disease is a polygenic genetic disease, which is closely related to internal and external environmental factors.
According to the survey, out of every 700 newborn babies, 1 are harelip babies.
Experts pointed out that the lack of vitamins A and B in pregnant women may lead to congenital cleft lip and palate in newborns. In addition, experts also pointed out that bad habits such as smoking and drinking, as well as the lack of folic acid (belonging to vitamin B family, used to treat nutritional anemia and stomatitis diarrhea) and vitamins A and B in food will lead to congenital cleft lip and palate in newborns.
So it's my fault that I'm a harelip baby, right?
Yes, I am a boy with congenital cleft lip. In June 2002, I was born in an ordinary working-class family. On the day I was born, I shocked the whole family, not because my grandparents finally got their little grandson, but because I was a rabbit-lipped boy. The doctor came out of his mother's operating room and told his father that your wife gave birth to a boy, but she had congenital cleft lip and needed surgery as soon as possible. This "but" is like a great irony, and every word is a sword.
Later, after my father's inquiry, I learned that my cleft lip is serious, and I may not be able to recover after many operations. My future life will definitely be affected, unless I get timely treatment, but my family is not rich, and our family can't afford it at all.
So my arrival is not a surprise, but a shock. Before I first saw my grandparents' eyes, they changed from smiling to being eclipsed. I thought, maybe I've done something terrible. Why else do they seem to dislike me? I just didn't understand anything at that time, so I naturally didn't understand.
Later, the doctor put me in front of my mother's bed and cried. Before she left, she repeatedly told her to remember to breast-feed me, but she should be very careful, because I might choke to death with milk, but she turned away at once and didn't want to talk to me at all.
I continued to cry, but my father was happy to see me. He picked me up awkwardly and said to his mother with a smile, "Look how cute our child is. He will be a great person in the future, but God accidentally makes him a little imperfect." My mother looked at me with a sad face, and it took a long time to spit out a sentence: "Husband, this child should not appear in our home, and we have no money to treat him." You saw your parents' attitude. Why don't we send the children away? "
Dad looked at me for a long time without talking, then put me in my mother's arms and walked out of the ward. About an hour later, he came back, went to my mother's bed and picked me up. Watching me sleep in my arms, he smiled and said to my mother, "since this child can come to our house, it means that we are destined to have a relationship." Look how soundly he slept, just like when I was a child. Now that he is our child, I will never give him up, and I hope neither will you. No matter what will happen in the future, I will try my best to earn money and cure him so that he can live like a normal child, make friends and fall in love. Don't care what others say, and don't say to give him away in the future. He can only be my son. " (these are also later. Then I heard what my mother said. )
In this way, with my father's insistence, I was lucky enough to survive, not being abandoned like most rabbits' lips, and thus began my hard life.
When my father decided to keep me, I don't know if he ever thought about the sorrow of hoary head that night, the sleepless night filled with smoke all day, the coldness from neighbors and the expensive medical expenses every time.
If I had known this from the beginning, would Dad still have the courage to make this decision?
I must explain to you that this congenital cleft lip requires surgery within three months after birth, which means that I will have my first cleft lip repair operation soon after birth. The pain after the operation made me cry for a day and a night, and I had injections and dressing changes every day. The infection after the operation once made me almost say goodbye to the world.
Whenever I hear that the door of the ward has not been pushed open, I can't help crying because I know I need injections and dressing changes. In short, due to various reasons, the recovery after the first operation is not ideal. My cleft lip is not repaired at all, but worse, which means that the operation failed and my family needs to pay more medical expenses for me. But by this time, my father had borrowed a lot of money from relatives and friends for my operation, and there was no place to borrow money.
Soon after I was discharged from the hospital, my parents went out to work. I had to be taken care of by my grandparents in order to save money for the second repair operation.
As I grew older, I began to go to school, and I began to understand why others would have different views on me. I'm afraid to look in the mirror, I'm afraid others will look at me differently, I'm afraid others will point fingers at me, but I'm even more afraid of my family's indifference and indifference to me, because I desperately want to be loved and need care, but they never pay attention to my feelings, let me die, hear the cynicism of my neighbors, and wish it had nothing to do with me.
I am such a child who is rejected by people around me. The only thing that makes me happy is that my father will come back to see me every month and then bring me a big bag of snacks, telling me not to care about other people's eyes and telling me that he loves me very much. Although I didn't quite understand it at that time, I could feel my father's love for me.
I am still often laughed at and ridiculed by others. Children of the same age give me various nicknames, such as "small crooked mouth", "rabbit mouth" and "crooked nose", and some even bully me, insult me and hit me. I am afraid and feel inferior, so I never dare to resist, and I don't dare to resist when I am angry with them or punched and kicked, because I know I am a rabbit-lipped boy, and I am different from ordinary people.
Besides these painful things, Chinese Pinyin has also brought me great pain. The pronunciation of each letter is different, so the place where it sounds will not be the same, but no matter how I practice, I can't get rid of my strong nasal sound. Every time the teacher wakes me up to answer questions, I can't hear the students laughing and whispering under the seat.
Such ridicule and abuse accompanied my whole childhood and beyond.
They called me a "monster" and an unwelcome wild child. I feel that no one will care about my feelings, and even comfort is a luxury for me.
In the sixth grade of primary school, there was a new classmate in the class. At first, I thought he would alienate me and reject me like everyone else, but I didn't expect that later we became good friends who talked about everything. When everyone was mocking me, insulting me and hitting me, only he stood up to defend me, protect me and help me fight. We became very good friends for a long time, and I obviously felt a lot more cheerful during that time. Until one day, he invited me to his house to play. At first I refused. At his repeated invitation, I went to his house with a nervous heart.
When his father opened the door and saw me, I saw the fake smile and hypocrisy on his father's face (I didn't understand it at the time, but I could pretend to like it). I followed my classmates to the sofa and sat down. His mother brought me a lot of fruits and snacks and told me to help myself. There are many things that I have never seen or eaten. I got carried away for a moment and wolfed down with my classmates. Then, I don't know how to start fighting. One of my classmates accidentally fell to a big party, so don't break your lip and bleed.
When his parents heard the news, they were very distressed to see their son so moved. I was too scared to speak, and his father suddenly cried, smelly boy, why are you running? Look at you. It's okay, or you'll break into ugly rabbit lips like him, and see if you dare to make any noise. Don't play with him in the future.
I stood by as if they were talking about someone else instead of themselves. I dare not make any noise. My classmate's wound has been treated. I'm going to say goodbye to him, because I have to leave this place quickly. I know they don't like me.
It was already nine o'clock in the evening when I got home, and my grandmother had already slept in the room. She purred again and again, like the rolling sound of a rotten tractor being stretched indefinitely. Grandpa is sitting lazily on the sofa, and there is a play on TV that I can't understand. It's really harsh. The clock on the wall ticks slowly, and the whole room is filled with pungent sweat. There are leftovers on the table and half a bowl of yellow cabbage.
Seeing me creeping in, grandpa coughed twice and said, "If you come back so late in the future, you might as well die outside and not come back. Your parents don't have to work overtime outside all day to make money and waste it on you. " I froze for a few seconds and answered, "Good!" I hurried to the front of the house, pushed open the door and went in, then closed the door and locked the window, hiding under the covers and crying. If only it were a dream, just wake up. If my father were here now, he would comfort me and encourage me. I think I really should die.
Although I know I didn't dislike it from the beginning, I never thought that it was not others who wanted me to die most, but my grandparents.
When I woke up, I was already lying in a hospital bed. I saw that I missed my father day and night, and I also saw my mother who had not seen me for a long time. As if time had stopped at this moment, they were all smiling at me. I looked at my father who was already white-haired when he was less than forty years old, and I couldn't help wetting my eyes. When my mother saw me crying, she quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, but she still didn't speak, but I knew her eyes were more distressed at the moment.
It turned out that my parents came back to see me that night. They originally wanted to surprise me by telling me that they had the money to operate on me. Only to find me lying motionless in bed, so I was rushed to the hospital overnight. The doctor said that my anemia coma was caused by long-term malnutrition, and it would be fine to cultivate for a period of time.
Later, I did the second cleft lip repair as I wished, and the effect was better than expected. Then I had a rabbit tooth operation, and the effect was not good. The doctor said that I had missed the best operation period, and now I can only do plastic surgery. And the pronunciation cannot be changed. However, the cost of cosmetic surgery is high, and the most important thing is that there is no money at home, and even it is difficult to maintain a living. So my parents went out to look for a job before I recovered, and he still came back occasionally. The difference is that my mother will come back to see me with my father occasionally.
Then, I began to enter junior high school, but the ridicule, abuse and beatings from others did not decrease, but intensified. Not only my classmates will do this, but even the whole school will avoid me.
Classmate A said, "Forget your ugliness. It's wrong to scare people. Why not die? "
Classmate B said, "Monster! You are so ugly, no wonder your parents don't want you, and even your family hates you. " Because my parents work outside all the year round, even the teachers at school have hardly seen my parents. )
Classmate C said, "Damn, why is our class so stupid?"? It's really unlucky to be in his class. It makes me sick. I am so old and I still can't tell. "
What I don't understand is, just because I have rabbit lips, just because I look different from normal people, just because I have defects, just because I don't look good, should I be rejected?
20 1 17 years 10 month, I 15 years old. On my birthday, I received a note. I thought it was a blessing from a classmate. I even secretly enjoyed it. Maybe someone would like to make friends with me, but when I opened it, I saw six big characters written in red ink: "Go to hell!" " I tore the note into pieces in a rage, as if it had never happened as long as I tore the paper into pieces, but I was wrong.
No matter how much I want to escape from all this, it is useless, because everything is like a huge invisible net, and I can't escape anywhere.
If I am like a normal person, maybe I will have a family that loves me, and my parents don't have to work so hard to earn money. They've done so much for me. If I were like a normal person, I would definitely have many friends. I can go to school happily every day without hiding like a criminal. If I am like a normal person, maybe I will have a happy childhood and a harmonious and beautiful family.
If there is a if, maybe I should die, maybe I shouldn't come to this world, because the world never seems to welcome me, maybe I should leave, this is my best choice.
Just as I was about to pick up the fruit knife next to me and end all this, I suddenly heard a voice whispering in my ear, "Look how cute our child is. He will be a great person in the future, but God accidentally made him a little imperfect."
PS: I know my pen is not good enough and my feelings are not deep enough. But I only write this article in the hope that we can treat those who need care without discrimination. You can't help them, but please don't hurt them, ok? And secretly tell you that they are angels who accidentally fell into the world.