There are too many to finish. Let me give you the address.
/view/27606.htm#10
Small speaker: Alas...
Xiao Ci: Why are you sighing?
Little Speaker: It’s so hard to find a good woman!
Xiao Ci: What do you say?
Small speaker: I don’t understand. Those who can get out of the hall cannot get out of the kitchen! Those who can get into the kitchen are not gentle! Gentle and unassertive! Being opinionated is unfeminine! Feminine and spending money recklessly! Those who don’t spend money carelessly are old-fashioned! Not old-fashioned but a little uneasy! Rest assured, I don’t want those!
Xiao Ci: Then how many points can I give?
Small speaker: You should pass.
Xiao Ci: Alas...
Small Speaker: Why are you sighing!
Xiao Ci: It’s so hard to find a good man! The talented ones are ugly! He's handsome, but he's unreliable! It's reliable, not romantic! Romantic, dishonest! To be honest, it’s not interesting! Those who have fun don’t care about their family! As for the Gu family, they are too cowardly! Those who are not cowardly are not worried! Don’t worry, I don’t want it!
Small Speaker: What you want may not be given to you!
——"Plan A"
Gu Biao: Xiaoxiao, have you still discussed the matter I told you last time? In fact, I have a very good character. I kill people very neatly and leave the body intact. I don't even do small robberies. I can be considered a kind leader in the pirate world.
Small Speaker: I have changed my mind, but I still want you to die. When I think of you hanging, I feel particularly happy.
Gu Biao: No, I will look ugly after death. Let's do this, if you let me go, I will marry Xiaoci to you. I will suffer a little loss as your father-in-law.
Little Trumpet: After you die, she can still marry me. It makes no difference whether you are my father-in-law or not. At most, I'll burn some more paper for you in the future.
——"Plan A"
Little Trumpet: There are so many men and women in this world, so many men have found the woman they like, and there are so many of women have found a man they like. How wonderful! I also found it, but I just found a woman who can't be with me...
——"Plan A"
Jun Bao: Everyone who wants to become a disciple must go through Splash water to wash away the sins of the soul
Junbao: Actually this is just a symbolic ritual
Master Junbao: Meaning... (wine cup)
p>(The two were overjoyed)
Master Junbao: Wait! The ceremony has just begun.
Two apprentices: meaning... (bowl)
Two apprentices: meaning... (scoop)
Two apprentices: I mean...(basin)
Jun Bao: Oh~~~~It means. . Meaning~ha~(............)
——"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Taoist: Hey, do you know where to go to Heifeng Town? ah?
Jun Bao (Cartman): I know...I really know...I know...(husky)
Taoist Master: Brother Cartman, come over and have something to eat Let’s do something
Junbao (car driver): No, you’re welcome (husky)
Taoist: Come here, I’ll treat you,
Taoist: You must be working very hard as rickshaw drivers
Junbao: Yes, yes...
Taoist: You work so hard every day, 365 days a year.
< p>Jun Bao: Yes, yesTaoist Master: Are you in a hurry?
Jun Bao: Yes, yes....
Taoist priest: It's urgent
Jun Bao: Yes, yes.... < /p>
Taoist Master: Are you anxious to attend the martial arts conference?
Jun Bao; Yes, yes...
Taoist Master: So you pretend to be a coachman to deceive the master?
Jun Bao: Yes, yes.... (-.
- I was depressed and haven’t reacted yet)
Taoist: Do you want to collect more money?
Jun Bao: Yes, yes...
Taoist Master: Still! ! ! ! ?
Jun Bao: Huh? No, no!
The Taoist priest smiled: Are you very happy to be out with the master?
Jun Bao: Yes, yes (the voice changed back)
The Taoist priest smiled: Do you feel less hungry when you are happy?
Jun Bao: No, no!
Taoist Master: Why don’t you finish your meal quickly and go on your way!
Jun Bao: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
——"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Zhang Junbao (Mandarin) :I know why your name is Yi Tianxing, because you go against heaven!
Zhang Junbao (Cantonese): I know why you call it Yi Tianxing, because you go against heaven! ---( At this time, "Yi" and "Ni" have the same pronunciation)
——"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Dao Hong took Jun Bao's hand and walked into the yard)
Jun Bao: Hey, men and women don’t kiss each other. It’s very disrespectful to talk about each other like this!
Dao Hong (beating Junbao’s chest hard): I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
Jun Bao: Hey, Buddha also has fire. I kindly helped you find a husband, but you still beat me.
Dao Hong: Why are you still looking for him!
Jun Bao: Are you the one who said you want to find someone who is smart, handsome, young, good at martial arts, and named Gong Changzhang? Is this troublesome?
Dao Hong: I don’t want him!
Jun Bao: If you don’t want this, you can look for it slowly. Then there’s no need to get angry, fool! Do you want to comb yourself instead of getting married...
Dao Hong (pointing to the tip of Junbao's nose): Zhang Junbao! Are you pretending to be stupid or are you really that stupid?
Jun Bao: What!
Dao Hong: The man I’m talking about is...it’s you!
Jun Bao: Me?
Dao Hong: You!
Jun Bao: Me?
Dao Hong: You!
Jun Bao: Me?
Dao Hong: Yes! It's you! (As he spoke, he kissed Jun Bao on the face)
Jun Bao (said while wiping his face): Ah, in such an environment and under such circumstances, let me see, Young, smart, handsome, good at martial arts, surnamed Gong Changzhang, half a head taller than you... Oh, if you don't count your bun, I'm really half a head taller than you!
Dao Hong: I have already decided that I will not marry anyone else except you.
Jun Bao: When did you decide? Why didn’t you inform others?
Dao Hong: Ever since I had that dream the second night I met you, I felt that I had fallen in love with you. Thinking about it now, it still seems like it happened yesterday.
Jun Bao: But men have their own careers, so I have to concentrate on practicing martial arts!
Dao Hong: Don’t worry, I won’t disturb you, I will be a good wife!
Jun Bao: You are a good wife, but I am not a good husband. I’m sorry!
Dao Hong: No, no, no, no, I have been with you for so long, I am sure that you must be a good husband!
Jun Bao: I’m not sure myself, so how can you be sure?
Dao Hong: You really don’t like me?
Jun Bao: I don’t like it
Dao Hong: Okay, then let me ask you a few questions.
If you have something good, will you share it with me?
Jun Bao: Of course I can. Is it difficult to gain weight by eating alone?
Dao Hong: What will happen to you if I am unhappy?
Jun Bao: I will be unhappy too, even sadder than you.
Dao Hong: If your house catches fire, and I and a dog, who will you save?
Jun Bao: I have never raised a dog.
Dao Hong: What about cats?
Jun Bao: Cats and dogs are both alive. I will save both of them.
Dao Hong: No, I can only save one!
Jun Bao: OK! Then I will save you!
Dao Hong: Then, this means that you have fallen in love with me!
Jun Bao: No, it doesn’t matter. I treat everyone like this.
Dao Hong: Zhang Junbao! Are you a man?
Jun Bao: One hundred percent!
Dao Hong: But, a man must marry a wife!
Jun Bao: Both of my masters are men, but they don’t have wives either!
Dao Hong: But I have already calculated our birthdays and horoscopes. They really match each other!
Jun Bao: Just because your birth date matches your horoscope doesn’t mean you have to marry me!
Dao Hong: I must marry!
Jun Bao: You must marry me, but I don’t have to marry you!
Dao Hong: You don’t have to marry me, okay, you said so
——"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
(Ming Daohong walks into the yard) < /p>
Jun Bao (clapped his hands and said to her): Ouch, ouch, ouch... you are still angry with me
Dao Hong: Go away!
Jun Bao: A girl shouldn’t always tell people to go away. Of course I have something good to give you. Come on, come on.
I’ll give it to you. You tell a story. Once upon a time there was a martial arts idiot named Zhang Junbao. At a certain time and minute of a certain year, I met a cute little girl, her name was Ming Daohong. In order to help her escape from her father's clutches, Jun Bao did not want to marry her father as a concubine, so he took her away overnight. From then on, they held hands and connected heart to heart, traveling across the world, crossing mountains and clouds. Finally one day, they came to a place called Taixu Temple and lived a happy life from then on. After countless sunrises and sunsets, spring, summer, autumn, and winter, the little girl grew tall and graceful, and her heart was ready to get married, so her good brother went everywhere to find an ideal partner for her. It doesn't matter if you have bad luck the first time. As the saying goes, you have to gain experience and fight again, so one day your good brother will help you find your right man!
Dao Hong (slaps Jun Bao): Go to hell!
Jun Bao: Hey, I was slapped out of kindness!
——"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Zhang Sanfeng: black sesame,
Partridge Boy: Wow!
Zhang Sanfeng: White Sesame
Partridge Boy: Hair!
Zhang Sanfeng: Does he believe that? What a fool...
General Feilong: Zhang Junbao!
Zhang Sanfeng: Partridge boy, did you hear someone calling me?
Partridge Boy: Yes, behind you! ! .........
——"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
"When I find that love rival, I will definitely cut him into pieces!" Yi Tianxing said angrily.
"No way?" Zhang Junbao frowned and said, "Sweeping the floor might hurt the lives of ants, senior."
——"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
"Brother Donkey, I have a question for you." Zhang Sanfeng said looking at the donkey.
"I also have a question to ask you." said the donkey.
"I'll ask first!" Zhang Sanfeng said.
"I'll ask first!" said the donkey.
"Let me ask first!" Zhang Sanfeng said, "Have you ever seen a girl pass by who talked about whether she was beautiful or ugly, and talked in a gibberish voice?" "Yes." said the donkey.
"Then where has she gone?" Zhang Sanfeng asked anxiously.
"She walked from the left side of my eyes to the right side of my eyes, and then from the right side of my eyes to the left side of my eyes."
"Then what?" Zhang Sanfeng asked eagerly asked.
"Then I blinked," said the donkey, "and she was gone."
"It's all in vain!" Zhang Sanfeng wanted to leave, but the donkey shouted: "My You haven’t said anything yet!”
“What?” Zhang Sanfeng turned around and asked.
"Have you ever seen a little donkey passing in front of you that said whether it was beautiful or ugly?"
"Yes," Zhang Sanfeng said, "it passed by. The left side of my eye went to the right side of my eye, and then from the right side of my eye to the left side of my eye."
"Then what?" the donkey asked anxiously.
“Then I blinked and it was slaughtered.
"
"Huh? No way? ! ”
——“Young Zhang Sanfeng”
Don’t understand: nonsense is really useless~
——“Clever Little Understanding”
< p>I don’t understand: It’s okay to have two hundred sticks! (Suddenly awakened) Ah! I helped Kashyapa Temple and you still need to give me a stick?!!~——"Smart Little Understanding"
I don’t understand: I don’t say this as teacher Zhu Zheng, but as a lovelorn man who was dumped by the woman he liked very much and has no choice but to hope that she will be happy~
——"Smart Little Understanding"
Wuxiu: Yes! I'll shoot him with the "Ghost King Splashing Fan" to see if he's awake yet? If so, I use Prajna Fist to hit his chest with a "bang" sound. If he still doesn't wake up, wow, that's awesome! Kick him straight to the heart, let him fly into the sky like a kite, and then fall down. Haha, haha.
I don’t understand: Huh! Ah! That's my student! Use the "Willow Leaf Grinding Heart Kick" move to the middle left of his chest, and use the edge of his toes to kick him straight into the sky, making him fly into the sky like a kite. ?
——"Smart Little Understanding"
I don’t understand: Who can’t find it? Although I have helped Kasyapa Temple a lot, please don’t reward me. I'll be proud! If you don't have to wash the latrine for a year, it doesn't matter for two years; it doesn't matter if you don't have to go to the morning hall for a year; and it doesn't matter if you add one hundred taels of silver, or two hundred taels.
——"The Clever Little One"
Xiao Yu'er: Your name is Siqin, and the other one is Gao Wa
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque" < /p>
Little fairy: "Guess three words for a rooster and a hen."
Little fish: "I love you."
Little fairy :"No, it's three chickens."
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Xiao Yu'er: Open as many doors as possible, the team to welcome the bride It is as long as it is, the trumpet is blown as loud as it is, the groom should be as flamboyant as he wants, the bride's dress should be as low as it can be worn, presbyopia, I say Right?
Wu Que: I don’t agree. You should be more thorough and don’t wear it if you can’t do it~
——"Little Fish and Flowers Wu Que"
Xiao Yu'er found that the bag containing the little fairy's ashes around his neck was missing, so he asked Su Ying, "Where are my ashes?" ! "
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Xiao Yu'er: "Who dares to hurt my young master.
Murong: "Who are you?" "
Xiao Yu'er: "I am the new servant of the Murong family - my name is Murong Fantong!"
Xiao Yu'er: "Don't worry, young master, I'm here. Someone can hurt you to a hair's breadth. Whoever comes, tell me by name! "
Next paragraph:
Xiao Yu'er: "Who dares to hurt my young master.
Murong: "Who are you?" "
Xiao Yu'er: "Master, don't be afraid, I am the new servant of the Murong family - Murong Toilet!"
Xiao Yu'er: "Master, don't worry, I'm here. , no one can hurt you. Whoever comes, please tell me your name! "
Murong: "But you look very similar to the Murong rice bucket who died just now!"
Xiao Yu'er: "Yes, he is my brother! What the hell is he? Dead? Who killed him? "
Murong: "That's her!
Xiao Yu'er: "Damn it, my brother has no grudge against you, but you actually killed him! I will fight you!"
Xiao Yu'er: "One word to describe it, stupid!" ”
——“Little Fish and Flowers” ??
Little Fairy: What would you do if you only had one incense left in your life?
< p>Xiao Yu'er: I will marry the little fairyLittle fairy: What will you do if the little fairy only has one incense left in her life?
Xiao Yu'er? Son: I will marry the little fairy
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Old flower: Go away~!
Xiao Yu'er : Don't be so gentle, I will faint~~~~
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Xiao Yu'er: "I'm so smart, how can I be like this?" Brothers who look like wood? "
Laohua: "I am so talented in martial arts, how can I have a brother who is so clumsy? "
——"Little Fish and Flowers"
Tu Jiaojiao: There is a child in front of you. You want to drive a carriage over, what should you do?
< p>Xiao Yuer: I should say sorry first——"Xiao Yuer and Hua Wuque"
Waiter: Sir, can you eat so many dishes? ?
Xiao Yu’er: Are you worried that we won’t pay?
Xiao Er: I’m really worried that you won’t pay!
Xiao Yu’er! Harmony and evil lead to heaven: small wealth comes from frugality, great wealth comes from heaven, and great wealth comes from not giving money.
Waiter: Are you really not going to give me money?
Xiao Yu'er: What are you in a hurry? I said we don't have any money and I didn't say I wouldn't give you money. I'm going out to look for money now.
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque" 》
Yu: The most boring thing in the world is to be a beautiful girl’s adopted brother, with obligations but no rights
——"Little Fish and Flowers"
< p>Hua Wuque: Why are you staring at me?Tie Xinlan: Nothing.
Xiao Yuer: She is looking at me.
——" Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Xiao Yu'er: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Tie Xinlan: Believe it!
Xiao Yuer: I believe it too!
Tie Xinlan: But the target is not you!
Xiao Yuer: Do you believe in getting rich overnight? (I have never seen anyone change the topic so quickly!!!)
——"Little Fish and Flowers"
Murong Zheng: Where are you from? ?
Little Bird: Yunnan (Little Fish)
Murong Zheng: Where is the small speaker?
Little Bird: Yunbei
Murong Zheng: Is there Yunbei?
Little Bird: Of course
Murong Zheng: Then come and listen to me
Little Bird: ?#?￥%—* < /p>
(Save a lot of nonsense)
Murong Zheng: Do you know what is the most precious thing in Yunnan?
Little Bird: Penguin
Murong Zheng: Are there penguins in Yunnan?
Little Bird: It’s precious just because you don’t have it!
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Xiao Yu'er: I have always believed that loving someone is a lifelong thing.
—— "Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wu Que"
Xiao Yu'er: "What is your name?"
Hua Wu Que: "Hua Wu Que."
Xiao Yu'er : "Real name."
Hua Wuque: "Hua Wuque"
Xiao Yu'er: "Real name?" "
Hua Wuque: "Hua Wuque. ”
Xiao Yu’er: “You are so insistent, so I trust you.” Hello, Laohua"
Hua Wuque: "Who are you?
Xiao Yuer: "Fish is small." "
Hua Wuque: "True name. "
Xiao Yu'er: "Er Yu Xiao"
Hua Wuque: "Real name.
Xiao Yu'er: "Xiao Xiao Yu."
Hua Wuque: "Real name."
Xiao Yu'er: "Xiao Yu'er, this This time it’s true”
——“Xiao Yu’er and Hua Wuque”
Xiao Yu’er: I know women are going to fight, it’s going to rain, and sows are giving birth. Pigs cannot be stopped without distinction.
——"Little Fish and Flowers"
After Dongchang Fanzi was killed
Xinlan: Why are they chasing us?
Xiao Yuer: Jealous that we are in love
——"Xiao Yuer and Hua Wuque"
Little Fairy and Concubine Shu: Disciple meets Master< /p>
Xiao Yu'er: The disciple's son-in-law pays homage to the master
Evil Tongtian: The disciple's son-in-law pays homage to the master
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Lan: "But I don't know where the evil Tongtian has gone."
Xiao Yu'er: Don't worry, no one will sell him to a brothel
——"Xiao Yu" "The child and the flower are intact"
The little fairy was poisoned, and the little fish hugged her naked to restrain the poisonous attack.
After the little fairy recovered, "What are you thinking about?"
Little Yu'er to the little fairy: I was wondering if there is any way for you to make yourself suffer from cold poison again
——"Xiao Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Tie Xinlan: She said who she is, the hero Jiangbie Hejiang
Xiao Yu'er: biological father
Tie Xinlan: What do you think, biological father?
Xiao Yuer: I think she is pretty
Tie Xinlan: Are you as beautiful as me?
Xiao Yuer : She is beautiful and has big eyes
Tie Xinlan: If her eyes are prettier than mine, I will dig them out and give them to you
Xiao Yuer: Her neck is also pretty good. Ah
Tie Xinlan: What’s the use of a thick neck that’s not as beautiful as mine
Xiao Yu’er: Why is it so thick? Those thin and long legs are so beautiful, but it’s a pity that there are two butts. White mark
Tie Xinlan: You know that people have white marks on their butts. Could it be that you took a peek?
Xiao Yuer: Of course, I have seen the whole body, so I know
< p>Tie Xinlan: What did you sayXiao Yuer: You said horse, didn’t you mean horse?
Tie Xinlan: I meant that woman
小 Yu'er: That horse is also a girl
Tie Xinlan: I hate it
——"Little Yu'er and Hua Wuque"
Little Yu'er versus the little fairy Said: People in the Yihua Palace usually float down two ribbons first, then dance and scatter flower petals. You may not see anyone even if you count from one to three hundred.
——"Little Fish and Flowers"
Er Niang: What are the benefits?
Xiao Yuer: It can not only relieve cough and reduce phlegm after smoking and alcohol consumption Too much sleep, sore throat and hoarse voice can be solved with one bottle
Er Niang: No headache and brain fever
Xiao Yuer: Eat it
Er Niang: Thinking about others has a headache and brain fever< /p>
Xiao Yuer: Eat it
Er Niang: Want to win money playing mahjong
Xiao Yuer: Just give it to him
II Mother: The creditor doesn’t want to repay the money
Xiao Yuer: Give it to him
He: Three-step ecstasy, a necessary medicine for home travel, rape and robbery
—— "Little Fish and Flowers"
Little Fish thought: Sit next to me, sit next to me, sit next to me...
Jiang Yufeng sat down next to him
< p>Xiao Yu'er: Hehe... (Laughing so happy that she sheds tears)Jiang Biehe: Yu Shaoxia, are you okay?
Xiao Yu'er: It's okay
(Only then did I realize that it was just Xiao Yu'er's hallucination. It turned out that he was sitting next to Lao Hua.