There is a new book called "Late Spring and Early Summer"
Author: Guo Jingming
Net name: The Fourth Dimension
Won the third place First prize in the 1st and 4th New Concept Essay Competition. Published works include "Fantasy City", "The Edge of Love and Pain", "Reflection on the Left Hand, Time on the Right", "How Many Flowers Have Fallen in a Dream", etc.
Currently studying at the School of Film and Television Arts and Technology at Shanghai University, studying a strange major that combines science, engineering and art.
Character: Half bright and half sad, negative but hopeful about life, firmly believing in the sweet things in human nature, but still addicted to despair.
Text:
1
Just after half of March of 2000, Xiaobei and I began to consume 1000ml of Sprite every day to keep up with the epidemic. Going crazy to contend with the soaring temperatures. Every time she finished a bottle of Sprite, Xiaobei always said that March was completely crazy, and that spring was as hot as summer, which was ridiculous. And I always don't speak. Firstly, talking accelerates the evaporation of water in the body. Secondly, when Xiaobei is talking, I am thinking about whether to buy another 500 ml of Sprite.
The talented girl who appeared on the show said that when she was a child, she saw articles starting with "200s" and knew that people were starting to make up false stories again.
Me too. When I was young, I always thought that people in the 20s should wear bulky metal helmets and fly around in the black and dirty sky, or to be more precise, they should be swinging around in confusion. It doesn't matter. , anyway, it is hanging in the air, not touching the sky or the ground. But when I was standing in the 20s, I found that time was still passing by and the streets were still peaceful. I still had to complete seven or eight test papers with Arabic numerals printed on them every day. Xiaobei still had to hold a thick enough test paper every day. The modern history of China that kills people travels through the campus full of camphor. I still have to write articles that disgust myself and others in order to get high scores in Chinese. Xiaobei still has to drink 1000 ml of Sprite every day, otherwise she will be like Bai Suzhen. They were also dazzled by the summer sun.
I can still write the opening sentence "March 2001 has just passed halfway" calmly and without excitement.
Standing in the shadow of the 20s, my heart is still. Xiaobei said this was due to numbness of the sensory nerves caused by being violently attacked by pain for a long time. So I nodded, and then I remembered that the biology book said that living things always have certain adaptability to the environment. Later, I looked through the biology book and found another sentence below: The adaptability of organisms has a certain range. When the harsh environment exceeds the adaptability of organisms, it will cause the death of organisms.
I was startled and threw the book far away. I felt that the biology book was like a poisonous snake. It bit me hard. The wound was small but deep, leaving it invisible. The place aches.
2
Someone said: Frequent monthly exams are like dying over and over again.
In the spring of 2001, Xiaobei and I have been in a repetitive state: death, then rebirth, then death again, and then rebirth. Xiaobei said that things like Phoenix Firebird are far worse than us.
The senior brothers and sisters in the senior year of high school had just been touched three times. When we walked through the campus, Xiaobei and I didn’t dare to look at them, for fear of seeing a face with gnashing teeth and a fierce look. We were afraid that their Bad emotions ripple down to affect us. They say that senior high school students are "sitting in hell looking up to heaven", but what are we? Xiaobei said: We were sitting on the bed looking up at the ceiling - doing nothing.
In the summer of 2000, the summer at the end of our freshman year of high school, Xiaobei and A chose liberal arts and left me alone in science. They said they wanted to leave me in a harsh environment. It cultivates my high level of fighting ability. I laughed at Xiaobei for being a traitor and Xiaobei said that I was too weak. I said that I had the so-called integrity to stay in the science major. Xiaobei said that even if she chose the liberal arts, she would die in a grand manner. We all have our own reasons, so we never look back in our respective directions, sharpening our heads and rushing towards a new life - or a new death. Who knows.
I saw the mottled and deep shadows cast by life as it flew over my head, the hourglass turned over and over, and the thousand cranes bloomed brilliantly for another season. I know another year has passed. Many things have also changed.
Xiaobei can already joke about her single-digit physics score, and I can calmly say that the Opium War was in 1940. It doesn't matter, it's whatever.
I think I must not go abroad in this life, otherwise I will definitely regret it. Because when my foreign friends ask about the history of my country, I will definitely be at a loss. Then those friends with blue eyes and yellow hair would ask me with wide eyes: Are you Chinese?
This problem is serious. I am a patriotic person.
So I began to think about the meaning of my efforts to get my foreign language scores to the top ten in the year. Or as people care to say: of what value.
Three
The frogs outside the window attacked my eardrums one after another. I didn’t know if their menopause had arrived, because I heard something new from the frogs’ sounds that I had never heard before. Tragic, irritating, and hopeless.
This March, I have experienced more despair than ever before. I can hear the sound of sadness growing wildly in my heart, just like the sound of wheat happily jointing in the rainy season. I can hear it. The sound of bones exploding into cracks one after another, and I could hear the sound of my brain being eroded by something, but I didn't resist or struggle. I think as long as you don't squeeze out those equations and formulas, then this white mass will Huahua's tofu-like brain can be done as you please, I don't care. I sat there waiting for death with wandering eyes, greeted death with a peaceful expression, and fell into nothingness with my feet firmly on the ground.
I didn’t even try to croak twice like the menopausal frog outside the window. I broke the jar, so you can do whatever you like.
That’s what I told Little A when I called him. He scolded me on the phone for nearly half an hour. He said how could a person be so hopeless? I said that fighting spirit doesn’t matter whether it exists or not. The more you think about it, the more you have it. When you don’t think about it, the fighting spirit weakens little by little. This is like sleeping in a dormitory in the winter and freezing to death. If you think about it, you are sleeping under the blanket of the heater at home. You can fall asleep just thinking about it. Once you fall asleep and stop thinking about it, the cold will come back, and waking up from the cold is inevitable. result. After I finished speaking, I found that my metaphorical argument skills were becoming more and more proficient.
I heard a long sigh on the other end of the phone from Little A. So I told him, don't worry, I won't die for the time being. I'm the kind of person who "looks very weak and can't be killed no matter what".
Little A said that I would come back to see you on May Day, and you should live peacefully for me before May Day.
I said I would save my life and wait for you to come back to celebrate May Day.
Four
Xiao A transferred to another school, Xiao Bei went to liberal arts, and Xiao Xu left my city to go to university. This was the greatest sadness I could have imagined six months ago. But now I feel like it doesn't matter anymore. I feel that sometimes a person's life is quite good. I can get angry at myself as much as I want, and then sleep obediently with my pillow in my arms. So what is the greatest sadness I can imagine right now? I thought about it: nothing to be sad about.
Xiaobei crumpled the math test paper into a ball for the nth time and was about to throw it out of the window. But after calming down for a while, she carefully unfolded the test paper and smoothed it out for the nth time. I say Xiaobei, your action fully reflects your weakness. Xiaobei said expressionlessly that if she didn't take math in the college entrance examination, I could be stronger than anyone else. Then Xiaobei and I heard the sound of karaoke coming from the newly built complex at the same time. Xiaobei heard that it was a certain art teacher singing "Strong Reasons" by Karen Mok. I don't think so-and-so's voice is anything like Karen Mok except for the hoarseness. I don’t know why I think of the desperate frogs croaking outside my window.
From the day the complex was repaired, work has not stopped. First, professors from Sichuan and the United States came to take classes, then from East China Normal University, and now professors from Fudan came. Professors from the university I had always dreamed of came. I was ready to start squatting, but I was still blocked from the newly built spacious and bright auditorium. The reason is that the quota I registered before has been filled. I looked inside and saw so-and-so, so-and-so. I don't know what the meaning or value of these people who know nothing except being able to open OICQ come here to listen to computer lectures after turning on the computer. All I knew was that I was blocked out, no matter how many A's I got on computer exams and how many computer training sessions I took. After I looked at the big "Shanghai" on the welcome sign in front of the building for a while, I wandered home.
Five
I returned to my home. I, a student who lives on campus, actually have my own home.
Last summer, Xiaobei and I tasted what it was like to have no fan, what it was like to have frequent water outages and not be able to take a shower, and what it was like to face a group of mosquitoes that could not be killed even with insecticides. What does it taste like. The girls' building where Xiaobei lives faces the lake, and there are relatively few mosquitoes. The boys' building is located in a dense forest. We comfort ourselves by saying that there is a palace in the forest where many handsome princes live. Every night with my eyes open and listening to the arrogant screams of mosquitoes in the dormitory, I always felt like I was standing on the land of Yugoslavia in 1999, waiting for unpredictable air strikes.
After Xiaobei and I reached the limit of our patience, we escaped together and rented a house outside. I lived in a small attic on the street, and Xiaobei lived at the end of the street. There was a five-minute walk in between. You live at the head of the street, and I live at the end of the street. The power is cut off at the same time, and the water is cut off at the same time.
When we meet friends and congratulate them on their move, Xiaobei and I will say with serious faces and vicissitudes of life that we are both family members.
Xiaobei’s room is very large, empty like a garage. I told Xiaobei that I felt there was no problem in parking the Dongfeng. My room was very small, and there probably wasn’t much space left after parking the motorcycle, so I didn’t have much room to move in. In the end, I chose a lot of books and tapes. Watching the 12-square-meter room being filled up little by little, I felt satisfied. I told myself that this is my home.
Every night after that, I walked back and forth within the 12 square meters, listening to the desperate croaking of frogs outside the window. These menopausal sounds could somewhat dilute the boredom of life.
So this state has continued.
Six
April Fool’s Day is not fun at all. In the days to come, Xiaobei and I will still be tossing and turning and going through hundreds of battles.
This late spring and early summer, I started to miss Shanghai crazily. Xiaobei started to miss Beijing crazily.
When I dream, I often dream about the old houses of all sizes on Huating Road, the beautiful streets of Hengshan Road, the bright lights of Nanjing Road, the rough and heavy exterior walls of the Peace Hotel, and the floating scenery on the river. The whistle, the courtyard where Zhang Ailing lived, the pigeons flying in the People's Square, the middle school where I took the exam for three hours, and Pudong, but I never crossed the river, and I didn't stand affectionately under the Oriental Pearl Tower and Jinmao Look up once.
But Xiaobei was thinking about the ice and snow in Beijing, the warm lights of the courtyard, the large skewers of candied haws, the rock bands in various bars, the clear ripples in Peking University, and the thick yellow curtains and golden light of the Forbidden City. dragon chair.
In this late spring and early summer, Xiaobei and I were living happily while daydreaming. I said I wanted to get into Fudan University and Xiaobei said that if she didn't take the math exam, she could consider Peking University.
The situation in the midterm exam can be said to be tragic. Those who have passed mathematics in the whole grade can be counted on their fingers. Xiaobei is very happy, because in terms of mathematics, many people are buried with her. She said with a playful smile that the death of one person was a great sorrow, and the death of a thousand people was an irresistible fate, so she didn't plan to struggle anymore.
The essay topic for the midterm exam is "I walked a lot in my dream, but I'm still in bed when I wake up." As a result, I wrote about Shanghai in my dream, and Xiaobei wrote about Beijing in her dream, which coincided with each other. I think I was completely controlled by this late spring and early summer daydream mood.
After the midterm exam, the teacher gave us post-exam education. She said that the top twenty students in the grade should have no problem going to Peking University and Tsinghua University. So I was happy. I thought I had a good chance of getting admitted to Fudan University.
Seven
Zhongzhong and Mosquito went to take the adult oath and openly missed two classes. It is said that the location is at the Martyrs Cemetery, so Xiaobei and I laughed for a long time. Xiaobei said, why don't we just become a person? Why is the atmosphere so tragic? Xiaobei and I are still underage, so we two kids can laugh heartlessly all the time.
Mosquito said that on the day when the oath was taken, the cemetery was crowded with people. You squeezed me and I squeezed you. There is a possibility of adding two more martyrs to the Martyrs Cemetery at any time. Mosquito said that the oath had been taken for ten minutes, and his right hand, which was clenched into a fist, was so sore that it felt like it was about to fall off. Xiaobei and I told her at the same time that this was growing pains.
Eight
That night I sat alone in front of my desk, facing the dark sky outside the window and the desperate croaking of frogs, thinking about what kind of person I was.
I guess I should be considered a quiet person. I can read and write without saying a word for a long time. Give me endless coffee and endless books and I can maintain the same posture for eternity.
I think maybe I am a noisy person. I kept chatting in my circle of friends, and Little A once said: If you want to find Guo Jingming, it’s easy to find him. When I went to the classroom of Class 3, Grade 2, I saw a large group of people, and the guy in the middle was dancing and spitting. .
I think I am a person who can be content with being ordinary. I once thought that if I could have my own farm in the future where the hustle and bustle of the city could not spread, with my own cattle and sheep, and clean vegetables grown by myself, then this would also be a happy life.
I think maybe I am a vain person who yearns for prosperity. Otherwise, I wouldn’t like a place like Shanghai, which is so bright and colorful. I yearn for a life of spending money on BMWs and luxury cars.
When I asked Xiaobei this question the next day, Xiaobei thought about it for a long time. In the end, she and I worked together to analyze me and what kind of people we were, even using things like birth dates and fingerprints and palmprints. Xiaobei finally quoted the ruffian Cai's theory: We are ordinary people, and we are also special people, so we are special ordinary people.
Nine
It is April in the human world and May in the human world. The days pass by and Xiaobei and I continue to toss and turn to death.
In late spring and early summer, phoenix flowers and irises bloom wildly. There are signs everywhere in the school saying "Pick a flower and you will be fined fifty". After seeing it, Xiaobei asked why things are so expensive these days.
Student apartments are being built behind the school's new cafeteria. This school continues to expand at a rate that amazes me. I am always worried that if things continue like this, I will have to take a bus from the cafeteria to the classroom.
Xiaobei still repeats the work of crumpling and smoothing the math papers. I still write essays that disgust others and myself. I still answer fifty math questions every day. Xiaobei still Memorize 500 words of history questions and answers every day.
Xiaobei and I still consume 1000ml of sparkling and refreshing Sprite every day, otherwise we would not be able to survive the penetrating sunlight. I have some doubts that if I keep drinking like this until the end, I will be "swollen like a transparent jellyfish" when I die like Wang Xiaobo said.
Nothing is different, late spring and early summer seem to last for eternity.
I watched the sunshine above my head getting brighter and brighter day by day, becoming harder and harder to look at day by day, and the shadow cast by the camphor tree getting thicker and thicker day by day. I began to feel that I was doing nothing in this late spring and early summer.
I sigh deeply at the dissipation of my passion for life, and I beat my chest for the passing of my time. But what's the use? At most, I stand like a twilight woman by the river of youth and shout loudly: My youth! my youth!
Should a seventeen-year-old child have the sorrow of a seventy-year-old child?
Those fleeting years, those flowing water that never come back, I saw the black wind blowing in the forest, Xiaobei and I stood in the wind for a whole year without knowing it. . Why has it only been a year? How come a long time turned into a short moment? Whether the crystal ball is in the hands of the queen or the witch, I want to find out.
The dead are so dead! The dead are like this! Thousands of years ago, someone stood by the river and said loudly.
Ten
One day Xiaobei and I discovered at the same time that the Sprite we consumed every day had reached 1500ml. Xiaobei and I were both surprised when we discovered this. I think we've taken another big step toward "transparent jellyfish."
Xiaobei said: The late spring and early summer are over, and summer is finally here.
I nodded and said that summer has finally come and I want to end my inactivity.
I think I really should make a break