-Funeral etiquette from Shuikouyuan.
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Born in Shuikou Garden, I can say that I can master the funeral customs and etiquette of Shuikou Garden. Of course, the funeral etiquette I mastered in Shuikouyuan is what I have kept since liberation when I advocated changing customs. Therefore, with the development and needs of the times, many contents have been omitted from today's funeral etiquette. I can only describe the existing funeral customs in Shuikouyuan after birth.
There is a saying in my hometown Binzhou that "the father worries about his wife, and the son worries about his father's death". This fully proves the importance of funeral customs in people's lives in Binzhou North and South Plateau and Jinghe Houlu areas. The funeral etiquette of the north and south tablelands along the Jinghe River is roughly the same, but the differences in details are inevitable. The funeral etiquette of Shuikouyuan has a great relationship with the historical development of Binzhou for thousands of years.
The ancient name of "Sui" in Binzhou can be traced back to the Shang Dynasty in the first century BC, 1 1. The Shang dynasty was replaced by Zhou, and the tribes in the late Shang and Zhou dynasties moved from Sui to Qi. So, "Gong stayed in Sui" and "Qishan in Feng Ming". Have their own basis. Although the 800-year-old Zhou Dynasty was a slave society, the legal system of the state machine was strict. Therefore, in the long process of productive labor, people summed up the "Zhou Li". The funeral etiquette in the era of "Zhou Li" is the inheritance and perfection of the political and cultural traditions in Xia and Shang Dynasties in BC 1 1 century, and the funeral etiquette of the Chinese nation has also reached a complete standard. Therefore, the standardized funeral procedures of Han nationality are presented to the world in the form of "Zhou Li".
"Zhou Li" is the norm of citizens' speech and behavior. In the Zhou Dynasty, "courtesy" was used to distinguish between showing kindness and disloyalty, rank difference and intimacy and disloyalty, and words and deeds were regulated by different "courtesy". "Violation of etiquette" is punished by the state or family. It is the so-called "unity of etiquette and law" social system. The Book of Rites, Zhou Li, The Book of Rites (the so-called "Three Rites") records the etiquette norms in political, administrative and social life in detail, including funeral etiquette. Funeral etiquette is "different in rank and level", and even the name of death is different. Also dead, the emperor collapsed, the princes died, the doctors died, the soldiers died, and the people died.
There are five kinds of mourning clothes: Cui is the heaviest of the five clothes, and coarse linen is the clothes, so it is called "Cui" (cutting means not sewing). Children as fathers, unmarried women as fathers, wives as husbands, ministers as kings and princes as emperors all died for three years. Cui Zi followed, and the mourning was made of cooked linen. Because of sewing, it was called "Cui Zi", and he mourned for three years in March. Sons and unmarried women have been married to their mothers (including stepmother) for three years; Married women have been parents for one year; Sun Wei's grandparents are one year, and his great-grandparents are three months. Once again, it is a great achievement. The mourning is made of cooked linen, which is finer than the former, and it is a mourning for five months. Men are great-grandfathers, uncles, grandmothers and cousins, while women are Tairen's aunts and sisters. Mourning is the lightest one. It was made of fine linen and mourned for three months. Men are grandfather, grandfather's grandmother, grandfather's mother, brother, grandson (woman's son), nephew, husband, wife's parents, uncle, etc. Generally speaking, the length of mourning depends on the closeness of blood.
It is not easy to remember red tape. Zhou attaches importance to the legal system, and the people live in groups. A family ranges from hundreds to thousands or even more. The ancients were short-lived, so they mourned, and people mourned all their lives. Funeral specifications are different, and funerals will be called "funerals" and will be regarded as gifts for guests. The Zhou Li stipulates that the son of heaven will be buried on the seventh day and in July. The vassals were buried on the 5th and in May. The doctor will be buried in three days, in March or longer. That is, the body will be left on the ground for seven days, five days, three days, and then buried for another seven months, five months, three months or a month. The types of funerary objects depend on the identity of the deceased, including bronzes, weapons, musical instruments, jade, bone utensils, pottery and so on. Sacrifice to the dead has a prison (Niu Yi, a sheep and a pig) and a small prison (a sheep and a pig). The former is a sacrificial ceremony for the monarch, and others shall not misuse it. The funeral etiquette of the Western Zhou Dynasty aims at "positioning" the society and reminding people that rights and obligations coexist all the time.
The territory of Kuizhou belongs to Yongzhou in summer, to Shang, to Western Zhou and to Qin in spring and autumn. Qin set up Lacquer County (now Chengguan Town, Bin County), named after Lacquer Water (China River). Lacquer County in the Western Han Dynasty and Lacquer County in the Eastern Han Dynasty; In the first year of Xingping (194), the county seat of Qixian County was Xinping County. After the Sixteen Kingdoms and the Qin Dynasty, counties were abolished. In 468, in the second year of Huangxing in the Northern Wei Dynasty, Baitu County (near Baitu Village, Shuikou Town, Binxian County) was established in Yang Chen Plateau, which has a historical origin. Shuikou is blessed with land, which is one of the "July winds" and one of the fifteen winds.
It is said that everything is done, and the funeral etiquette is in Shuikou, which has a strong reason. Shuikou people often say that "the dead are the biggest" and "sacrifice is like being there". In Shuikou, my parents died. "The sky is falling, and I have to live at the bottom of the ditch." Shuikouyuan, people who know etiquette, parents are here, and children don't have beards. Parents just don't celebrate birthdays. Since then, they have been celebrating their birthdays, congratulating and not congratulating their children. If they are rich, they will celebrate their longevity. Otherwise, it is not surprising that they are not as good as benevolent people. Most parents, nine times out of ten, don't want their children to bear this burden.
Coffin burial service, according to the health status of parents, as the case may be. Parents are over half a year old. If they are sick, they should start early and prepare coffin burial clothes early. Coffins depend on the economic situation, including miscellaneous wood, catalpa bungeana, paulownia, willow, pine, cypress and jujube. The coffin is beautifully carved, and the carving content comes from allusions, twenty-four filial piety pictures, ancient celebrities of loyalty and filial piety, etc. The specifications are: four-level roll cover, cypress frame, heavy bottom cover, intaglio carving, painted paint, coffin lining cloth. Congratulations to the hometown of the coffin, just like celebrating a birthday, is called "Jiaomu", and a banquet is held at home to entertain relatives and friends. "Jiaomu birthday reception banquet, the highest family specifications, banquet and death, even higher than death.
The mourning clothes are mainly made of silk and satin, and the number of them is odd, almost 5-7 sets. Men have robes and mandarin jackets, and women have long skirts. In Nanyuan, it is prestigious for daughters, daughters-in-law or villagers to sew shroud from head to toe. Most of the clothes they have seen are from the Qing Dynasty, and few are modern, except for young people.
In Shuikouyuan, parents are over 60 years old, even young people. As long as it is a matter of life and death, if the woman is seriously ill, she will be notified to go to her parents' house, and the man will be notified to go to her uncle's house, just like the legal guardian. If it is too late to inform, it means that the situation is urgent, and you can inform it at the first time and explain the reasons. When your parents die, it is definitely not a phone call today to inform your father, uncle or mother's family, but to invite your filial son to wear mourning clothes. The funeral planning team will select a candidate and take him to a big party. At the gate of my uncle or mother's family, the dutiful son kneels down and cries loudly, and the people accompanying him inform his parents, uncle or mother's family. This is called "funeral".
When the old man died, people in Shuikouyuan paid attention to geomantic omen. At the same time, please ask Mr. Feng Shui to choose the cemetery. At the same time, the funeral for the elderly must be completed at the first time, such as bathing, wearing shroud, shaving and washing feet. After the funeral, the coffin is not covered with a double cover, and the inner cover of the coffin is placed obliquely above the coffin. The time to cover the coffin is about noon on the day of the big sacrifice. After the uncle and her family finished watching the capacity, after the memorial service and the sacrifice in the evening, they placed the articles in the coffin and covered the coffin.
After seeing the geomantic omen, I decided the memorial day and the death day, and then informed my uncle's family to come over for a drink. At the same time, an obituary was made to prepare for the funeral. Cemetery construction and funeral preparations are carried out at the same time. Relatives, friends and neighbors all came to help. Mr. Feng Shui set a memorial day, and the obituary was sent out, writing the soul of Fu Jin, sketching the morning of the day he died, and writing the memorial tablet of the deceased. Within five dynasties, his dutiful son and grandson were all dressed in mourning, including men's robes, women's white mourning shirts and white headscarves, and their filial piety was about 80 cm to one meter long. Sun Hong's filial piety and his grandchildren, that is, the fifth generation of Qing filial piety, were valued by the deceased's sons and grandchildren, to show that the deceased lived under one roof for four generations, and the population was prosperous. It means that the roots are strong and the seedlings are red and the leaves are lush.
It used to be inconvenient to prepare for funerals. Your honor, the funeral has been prepared for a whole year. Stone mill is used to grind noodles, linyou county restaurant orders wine, and Binzhou city makes snacks. Paper workers were invited to process paper products, and tailors made mourning clothes. Now it is relatively simple, the times and society are progressing, the material is abundant, the transportation is fast, and conditions permit. Neighbors in the village, divided into two ways, built a cemetery, and the dutiful son sat in the wake; Foreign affairs purchase goods, such as cigarettes, wine, vegetables, make mourning clothes, and meet elderly relatives from afar. Preparations were made with the help of relatives and neighbors, and the children sat on the grass. Parents are dying, children and grandchildren listen to last words, don't travel far, wake up and cry until they are buried. Seven days after death, five generations of relatives are not allowed to enter other people's homes, otherwise it is ominous.
When children and grandchildren wake up, they cry, special relatives pay homage, and children have to wear white coats to mourn (linen was used in the past, but now the hemp belt around their waist has replaced it. ) Dai Xiao hat, the shoes on the feet are wrapped in white cloth, the toes are wrapped, and the steps are under the feet. The mourning hall is solemn, cigarettes are constantly on, sorrows and sorrows are neat, solemn and solemn. Relatives pay homage, follow the rhythm, and accompany the memorial wine. Wake up, filial son and daughter, don't wash your face, get up early and go to bed late, burn incense in the morning and evening, burn money and paper, eat at dinner time, offer sacrifices to the dead, and give them rice and soup until they are buried.
In order to prepare for the funeral, a talented and experienced village neighbor was invited as the general manager, and relatives were invited to take charge of logistics. The general manager organized the funeral preparation meeting, made complicated arrangements inside and outside, went on business trips to purchase, invited bands, troupes and song and dance troupes to meet elderly relatives, slaughtered pigs and sheep at home, built graves, set up sheds and set up temples. , is a competent general manager, he is handsome and can lead the villagers.
The past mourning and mourning activities are today's memorial service. Because the date of birth is different, the time of death is different, and the time of placing the deceased is different, so the time of holding is different. My grandfather's body is in the grave. He stayed at home for a year. The neighbor's grandmother died in May and was buried in September. Real case. Prepare for the funeral, write "Mingjing", show virtue, sing praises for the deceased, and ask Murakami or friends to sing praises for the deceased and write a banner called "Mingjing". Set it outside the gate and shine.
Hold a memorial service, have a big sacrifice and drink, hold a banquet for guests, and hold a grand memorial service. The day of entertaining guests is "drinking", usually the seventh day after death. Obituaries in advance, relatives and friends, neighbors, ready to listen, kill pigs and sheep, repair tombs, invite drummers to entertain people, and sing Shaanxi opera sacrifices if economic conditions permit. Big "drink" according to the distance between relatives and friends, honoring wealth, relatives and friends, close relatives and friends, come to pay homage. Today is called "Suili" and "Eating Soup and Steamed Buns", which is ugly and funny. It means mourning for the dead, offering sacrifices to pigs and sheep, slaughtering other livestock in ethnic minorities and other places, giving gifts to relatives and friends, donating money, offering incense paper, or gold and silver. Now it is directly RMB.
On the day before the big "drink", invite people, all dead souls and ancestors to live in front of the grave one by one, bow down and burn money to turn paper, and invite them home. Chefs make and provide meals, which is very famous, instead of buying snacks and non-staple food at will and setting the table to run errands. It is very meaningful to support meals, such as twenty-four filial piety, thirteen flowers, pine crane to prolong the year, turtle age and crane life. Cooking, waiting in line for the dutiful son, giving gifts to the chef, and enjoying the red flowers before starting to cook.
From the day before the big sacrifice, the "three worships" of filial piety, that is, the activities of filial sons, grandchildren and nephews, were carried out in three stages according to the order of generations. On Memorial Day, the courtyard was cleaned. First of all, there will be dinner on Memorial Day. Unlike usual, the chef specializes in providing meals. All the filial sons and daughters and grandchildren, arranged by generation and age, set out from the mourning hall in turn, cried loudly with the help of the guests, had dinner in the kitchen and sent them to the mourning hall. The food is ready, give the chef a gift and let the chef set the meal. After dinner, the dutiful son and grandson, the soldiers divided into several roads, and the mourning hall knelt on the grass to accompany the guests to pay homage. The mourning hall has a main family. Kneeling outside the door, welcoming guests with the ceremony teacher, building a cemetery, basically completing the memorial day, and the wealthy family repairing the tomb in advance. Welcome activities, around eleven o'clock, reached a peak, and the arrival of the deceased uncle or mother's family came to an end. After twelve o'clock, the welcome party basically ended.
Before the lunch party, all the guests go to the theatre, play cards and chat in their free time. At the same time, the funeral arranged for the filial son to give a big gift, and invited guests, distant relatives and friends, especially the uncle's family or mother's family of the deceased, to beat gongs and drums, to pay tribute to the body, mother's family or uncle's family in the mourning hall, and to prepare speeches on the funeral, such as shroud materials, the number of pieces, etiquette, whether the memorial plan is appropriate, and the requirements for the filial son's daughter. To show respect for the dead. At the end of the viewing, a grand banquet was held and relatives were invited to the banquet. Before the banquet began, a commemorative ceremony was held. Filial sons and daughters-in-law, good sons and daughters-in-law, get together to bow down and salute, meet important relatives and friends, and thank them with courtesy. At the beginning of the banquet, the dutiful son and grandson bowed and made a toast to the guests. Eating at the same time. The musicians sang and played, drummed on the stage, sang while playing, sang and danced at the banquet, and the music groaned until the banquet was over.
Shuikou tableland is a big sacrifice and drink, which is held at night. As night falls, the lights are on, and all relatives and friends in Youxian County are invited to drink soup first, and then pay homage. After drinking the soup, we also have a banquet, plus sour soup noodles. After the soup, the memorial service began. The mourning procedure is very complicated. The front hall is in the courtyard, and the family is seated. The dutiful son knelt on the grass, firecrackers played, and sorrows and sorrows continued. The eldest daughter-in-law swept the mourning hall, the eldest son burned incense, and then gave a big gift and invited libation. First, please invite the deceased uncle's family or mother's family to hold a memorial service, the uncle's family will hold a memorial service, or the filial son will hold a memorial service, or read a memorial service, and then all the guests will hold a memorial service. In turn, the son-in-law and nephew will pay for it. During the memorial service, they can play and sing at any time, and whoever plays and sings will get a bonus.
The filial son has great efforts to mourn. The village was assisted by neighbors, holding willow branches, obeying the command of the etiquette master of the funeral organizing Committee, and paying homage at Shuikouyuan. Today, all dutiful sons, relatives and neighbors are paying homage to their heads. A child's memorial service is different from crawling and crying. There are two halls in the mourning hall, and the vestibule is paying homage to their heads. They entered the mourning hall from the right side of undertaker, and their steps were slow. After the memorial ceremony, burn paper and incense. Everyone who attended the memorial ceremony took part in burning paper and incense. The last memorial is to seal the coffin.
At dawn the next day, Shuikou tableland did not throw a paper basin, but was held by the eldest son, the second son, or the grandnephew, and the grandchildren picked the flag for the funeral. Before the coffin was buried, dragon bars were used, and all the people who carried it were eight, sixteen and thirty-two. Drum music is ringing, paper fire is in front, and the funeral team is behind. Filial children and grandchildren, men and women dressed in linen, Dai Xiao, lined up by age, with white cloth on their shoulders and willow branches in their arms, bent down and wept bitterly, and walked slowly on the road. The so-called road sacrifice, on the way to the cemetery, there are neighboring villages or villagers, meet distant relatives and neighbors, and finally say goodbye. Road sacrifice is the same as at home, with three worships and nine knocks, incense on the table, libation paper and filial son saluting and thanking. On the way through the coffin, neighbors set fire to prevent ominous.
When the coffin entered the cave, Mr. Wang jumped into the pit, stopped the needle on the tray and positioned the coffin. There is a lamp bowl, a bowl of baking powder and soju next to the coffin, and the golden wedding is stuck with paper. With the coffin around, the slate of the tomb kiln door was sealed. Grave pits are filled with earth, and family members and relatives hold grave sacrifices at the same time. After the tomb sacrifice, the deceased's family or uncle's family will add soil to the grave, and all relatives, friends and dutiful sons will also add soil to the grave themselves. When the grave was piled up, willow branches were planted in front of the grave for the filial son to cry, and incense and paper, wreaths and spiritual papers began to be burned. Then a small altar was built with bricks in front of the tomb, which was euphemistically called "Qintai". It is said that this is related to the Boya period.
After the burial, he led his soul to get the memorial tablet. The eldest son held the memorial tablet or portrait and accompanied the drummer, crying as he walked, calling his soul home. Walking to the door, the eldest daughter-in-law has been taken home from the grave, crying in front of the memorial tablet or portrait. The two helped each other to turn around the incense table three times and then took it home to offer sacrifices. Every meal is served, incense and paper are burned in front of the memorial tablet, once every seven days, the first phase is buried, and the third phase is five. Children and relatives went to the grave to pay homage until the end of the centenary memorial service.
Sacrifice for three years, the first year after death is the first anniversary, relatives go home to burn paper to pay homage, the second anniversary is not held, and the third anniversary is over. After filial piety, they offer wine to the guests and burn paper and incense at the grave. Things can be big or small, and children can be based on their own economic situation. Musicians can be invited to play drums, sing operas, pay homage to graves, provide meals, paper banners, spiritual flags, wreaths, offerings and so on. Wearing a white Dai Xiao, the dutiful son immediately took off his mourning clothes and updated his clothes after burning paper in front of the grave. At this time, the sweeping period has expired. Except for Qingming, cold food, winter solstice and holidays, paper money is used to sweep the graves here.
The funeral etiquette of Shuikouyuan is really complicated. Burying an old man exhausted the children. Especially in recent years, even if the family is no longer affluent, ordinary people want to express their filial piety to their parents, miss their parents and die with dignity. However, the way of filial piety is incredible. I remember an old saying: "A thick burial is better than a thin upbringing." There is a saying in the village: "Don't give a candy when you are alive, give it to a sheep when you die, followed by a pack of wolves." I think it's real, appropriate and direct.
People often say: "The filial piety of all virtues comes first." Of course, the deceased should be "buried with ceremony and sacrificed with ceremony." However, filial piety is embodied by "thick burial and thick sacrifice", and it is considered that "it is better to raise thickness than sacrifice thickness", so we should carry forward the concept of "thick burial" and carry forward filial piety.
Written on the night of March 24, 20 19.