Journey to the South (Aiwu)
A lesson in the philosophy of life
Hitting a wall while selling straw sandals
In the city of Kunming, Covered by the pale yellow setting sun, lying in the plain surrounded by peaks, it seems to be smiling lonely.
I came down from the distant mountain peaks, holding a small bundle in my right hand, wandering blankly on the westward street in the pale yellow light.
It was the autumn of 1925, a cruel autumn in a foreign land.
Although I spent my last penny at a family home in the mountains last night, I have to find a place to stay that night, and I don’t need to imagine what the consequences of staying there will be.
I walked in calmly into a chicken feather shop selling tea.
I put the baggage on the cabinet, and the clever servant led me to a small, dark room with an expression that looked like he was bullying a countryman. There was only one bed inside, and on the bed was a roll of dirty bedding, covering a person who slept during the day, with two inches of hair hanging out of his head.
The Yaosi shouted: "Hello!"
The roll of bedding, which turned from white to yellow and became dirty black, squirmed a few times, and stretched out a hand with a pointed chin. With a yellow face, he raised his head and opened his eyes, which were slightly red at the corners and filled with shit. He looked at Yaosi's face unhappily, and then looked at me.
"You two sleep in the same bed!" The servant raised his hand, issued the usual order, and left.
The sleeping person still fell down with a sound of "um", and his yellow face with a pointed chin was buried in the bedroll.
I sat down beside the bed helplessly.
The idea of ??sleeping in the same bed as a stranger did not surprise me. When I was wandering in the mountains of eastern Yunnan, I had the opportunity to smell the foot odor of unknown people many nights. Now I'm used to it.
The room is brighter than when we first entered.
On the smoky yellow powder wall, the sloping characters written by the guests in charcoal can be clearly seen.
There are many poems like "A person goes out without bringing his family...". But I haven't eaten all day, and I really can't take the time to admire the good things made by these well-fed people.
I have to find something to stuff my belly with, but I don’t know how to find it yet. I just instinctively want to go out and look for it.
I walked around on the street, dragging my slightly sore legs, like a soldier retreating from the battle line.
The sound of the side dishes being cooked in the restaurant, and the strong smell of oil smoke spreading to the streets, lured the tip of my tongue, and licked my upper and lower lips twice, although my eyes were already prepared, and I didn’t look at it. Look at the shop with beef and pork.
I didn’t have much desire at this time. It was enough to eat three sesame seed cakes or a pile of dried beans.
I walked slowly along the street, squinting my eyes like a hawk towards the food stalls where the waiters were hurriedly making bread and the old women were sitting there with sleepy eyes. Greedy water would pop up in my throat from time to time, and I would swallow it one bite after another.
The story of a beggar who finished a sesame seed cake in three mouthfuls came to my mind like lightning
This is it: He, a ragged beggar, was hungry and jumped to the sesame seed cake stall. , grabbed two or three cold sesame seed cakes, turned around and ran away, taking big bites and choking with all his strength. When the boss called angrily with a rolling pin in his hand, he had already finished one in three mouthfuls.
This story evoked two different voices in my heart:
One mockingly said: "Do you have the ability to swallow a cold sesame seed cake in three mouthfuls?"
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Another kind of sad reply: "No!"
Mocking even more mockingly: "No? Then you deserve to starve!"
After eating The man who had no money to do accounts also recalled the time when he got a bench on his head for the shop owner to display in the street. The place seemed to be in Chengdu. I don’t know how the boss in Kunming would treat a freeloader. He probably wouldn’t let him go easily.
My stomach growls from time to time, which is simply threatening me. I was thinking of something like this: I would walk into the restaurant in a very dignified manner, walk on my toes, and sit in the most respectable seat. With a nasal voice, I called the waiter next to me to bring me a big bowl of fat broth, a big plate of dried beef, and a small plate of chili sauce. ...Have a good meal in comfort.
However, it was uncomfortable to expect the serious punishment after the meal.
Just find something to sell. Selling things is very problematic. The baggage is still on the cabinet. It seems inappropriate to take out the things to sell in front of the boss. This has to be done at night. Moreover, apart from the woolen blue shirt on his body, the items for sale were all dirty, and some even had one or two buttons off. Filling the soles of old women's shoes and making diapers for children is quite qualified, but it is completely impossible for others to buy and wear them. As for the books, although there were two or three of them, the corners were curled up and were very bad. Of course, when those old men at the broken bookstall saw it, they would wave it away. All in all, I couldn't sell everything I owned for a penny.
While walking and thinking, my mind was almost dizzy.
It wasn’t until the sky like the Yantou River gradually turned into deep blue, and the city’s streets were all put on brilliant new clothes, that I turned back to the store.
The shop owner’s family is eating. I quickly held the light behind my back and swallowed a few more mouthfuls of water.
After using the excuse to obtain the baggage, he took it to the small room and opened it.
The man with a yellow face and a sharp chin who was going to sleep with me that night had already slipped out. In the bag, I found a pair of exquisite straw sandals, knotted with fine velvet rope, which were completely new.
I traveled from Chengdu to Kunming for more than a month, all on my bare feet. Because wearing cloth shoes tends to get damaged easily, it is not economical. Wearing straw sandals is cheap, but it will abrade the skin of your feet and make walking even more painful. Therefore, a pair of straw sandals I bought in Zhaotong were hidden in my baggage and followed me for a thousand or two thousand miles. This was something that could be taken or thrown away at the time, but I never expected that it would become a considerable piece of my possessions now. Take it to the cross street for auction, and you will feel happy immediately.
With straw sandals stuffed into his crotch, he walked out of the shop with a high air and like a thief. In a place where the street lights couldn't shine, and seeing that there were no police officers on either side, he hurriedly took it out of his crotch. Put on a serious face as a businessman, take the goods to the brightly lit street, and look for customers.
I immediately thought: How should I word this so that people don’t see that I am just auctioning a pair and will not lose money on the price?
This is simply a general principle: goods in a merchant's shop are as expensive as treasures, and they are truly worth the price; when they fall into the hands of you and me and are auctioned, even though you have never used them, Yes, but the price was reduced by half as usual. This pair of straw sandals was carried by my hands to be sold on the street. It was almost a loss, so what else could I say? However, I couldn't let things take their own course. I had to be clever. It didn't matter if I just pretended. Really, in order to survive, even thieves will do it, if they are forced to starve to death. The society surrounding us has no room for a good person who shows his true colors everywhere. If a sincere good person can live, he will need a new world. If I had told the shop owner as soon as I entered the store that I was hungry and had no confidence in the store's balance, then I would really have to sleep on the street and eat the police's stick.
According to this philosophy of life, I called to the rickshaw driver who was resting by the hawker stall and stretched out my hand holding the straw sandals.
"Hey, do you want straw sandals? I brought a new selection from Zhaotong. This is what a pair looks like. Look! Do you want them?"
The rickshaw drivers passed the straw sandals one by one. , rubbing and looking at it under the smelly oil lamp beside the hawker stall. I put my hands behind my back, like an experienced boss, and observed the expressions of the customers.
One said fondly: "This is too expensive!"
One twirled his short mustache and said: "You can't wear it without wearing it!"
One He said leisurely and contentedly: "It's better to wear our straw sandals!"
The market is so bad that I am a little anxious. Suddenly the vendor selling peanuts and peas asked me the price: "How much does a pair cost?"
"How many pairs do you want to buy?" He acted like he had sold hundreds of pairs of straw sandals and asked, "How many pairs do you want?" , the price is a little lower. Just buy a pair, it costs 400 yuan! ''I bought it at this price, I didn't want to be cruel, I wanted to pay a higher price, but I was afraid of losing this good customer.
< p>"Hey, if you add a little more money, it will be enough to buy a pair of cloth shoes! How can it be so expensive? The vendor pretended not to look at the goods, and cast his eyes on the stall, as if silently counting the piles of peanuts and peas.I grabbed my straw sandals and showed them to him, and said, "Look, this is Zhaotong." Straw sandals! "Actually, I don't know the reason why Zhaotong straw sandals are special from Kunming. I just pretend to talk like an expert.
"No matter where you come from Zhaotong, straw sandals are always straw sandals, unlike Dandan. He will turn into a chicken! The vendor tilted his mouth slightly and started mocking me.
My face suddenly turned red for some reason, and I took my straw sandals and left angrily.
"Two hundred coins! Do you want to sell it?" He suddenly paid me back a price.
"Three hundred and five!" I turned around and replied, feeling more relaxed.
"One plus, one concession, two hundred and five." A rickshaw driver called the assembly.
"That's what he said!" The vendor called me loudly, and I stopped.
"Three hundred! Not one less!" Stick to my price.
"Fuck you! No more."
I went for a walk and found a large number of customers: rickshaw drivers, porters, hawkers, and waiters. It was like a gramophone repeating the words many times: pick out straw sandals... look like a pair... buy more, and the price will be reduced. However, the result was very bad, either a counteroffer of 160, or -180, as if they saw through that I was waiting to sell my straw sandals before eating.
I had no other choice, so I had to go back to the peanut and pea vendor and sell them for two hundred and fifty. But he responded to me with a face that said he didn't want to eat. Maybe the fake face I put on just now has been torn off by the look of embarrassment. Therefore, he is currently just putting on a show. Finally, he said "no": "No! These straw sandals are useless!"
This really hit a loud wall, and I turned around and ran away.
"Okay! Two hundred, two hundred!" He caught me like this again.
This sound is actually 20 yuan more than one hundred and eighty, and the value of these 20 yuan to me here and now is incomparable. So I sold it to him.
The yellow copper plates (each worth twenty coins) were counted one by one by his hand and placed on my palm, one by one, ten.
I was very careful and threw the coins on the steps one by one to see if there were any dull ones. This behavior was not like a merchant selling a load of goods, but I no longer cared about that.
At the same time, the rickshaw driver on the side said: "Oh, two hundred coins for a pair, then we want it too. Go get a few more pairs!"
"No more, no. Sold!" I was a little angry. But the anger soon disappeared.
Like putting ten silver dollars in my bag, joy trembles at my lips.
I walked into a Shaobing shop, holding ten copper coins in my left hand, and stretched out my right hand to choose the larger Shaobing; while asking the price. The guy wearing a foreign-style pocket turned into an apron replied: "One copper plate for each!"
I thought about using it as twenty copper plates, so of course I could buy two. I threw one on the stall with a clang, and two hot yellow sesame cakes were held in my hands. Just as I was about to leave, the waiter called out:
"Hey, I want another one." "Coppers!"
"Well, when you say one copper coin and one cake, do you mean ten copper coins, or twenty coins?" I asked in surprise.
"There are no coins left to pawn ten coins in the whole city!" The waiter's voice has lowered, as if he has realized that I am from a distant country.
After dropping another coin, I am no longer as optimistic about my existing property.
I walked to the dimly lit steps and sat down, munching my sesame seed cakes in a hurry.
The coolness of early autumn in Kunming, with the wings of night, brushes my eyebrows.
Even I didn’t understand how I choked up the first piece of cake. The second one, I have to chew more slowly. After taking a bite, I could smell the hot aroma overflowing from the heart of the cake. The more I ate, the better it tasted. When it was over, I was still thirsty and felt something was wrong. He actually felt like the stingy old man warning his dissolute son.
Finally I couldn't help it anymore, so I went to another store to buy one. Three-tenths of the entire property was consumed, but in the end, it was not full. However, people have regained their strength.
When I regained my energy, I walked into the heart of the night city, enjoying the freshness of a foreign place, while sticking out my tongue to lick the sesame seed cake crumbs on the corner of my mouth.
The main artery of the Yunnan-Vietnam Railway is constantly injected with French blood and British blood... turning this mountainous city that used to have the face of a village girl into a beautiful modern lady. In her arms, different fetuses are being gestated: meatballs coming out of the foreign goods store, riding on the bells on the rickshaw, galloping on the granite streets, looking for each other every night. Go to a happy place. Those who cast hungry eyes on the brilliant hotels and bustling restaurants can be encountered everywhere in the streets and alleys. An Annan man in black clothes who sells bread shouts "Yang Baba" in a Yunnan accent, walking lonely among the crowd, appearing in front of his eyes from time to time, and then disappearing immediately.
Having a fortune of seven copper coins, wandering around the streets, it seems that I am not unhappy enough.
Go back late at night. The person who sleeps in the same bed with me is quietly sitting on the edge of the bed smoking. He cast a gentle look at me; at the same time, he politely placed a cigarette in my hand. I saw that the neck of his hand as he passed the cigarette was dotted with black dots and red dots, which immediately made me scared. "Haha, what's wrong with sleeping with a man suffering from measles tonight!" Fortunately, I suppressed the voice that came from my heart, so I still politely withdrew my cigarette. When he accidentally scratched me, the skin all over my body started to itch. I had to go to the boss to change rooms, but he gave me a flat refusal with blank eyes.
The partner I slept with stayed awake all night, constantly grabbing his legs, his back, his belly, and his soles...
I was disgusted, afraid, and spent an uncomfortable early autumn night in a coma.
It’s not enough to pull a rickshaw
When I walked to the door of the rickshaw shop, I straightened my waist and showed a little martial spirit: in short, I have to do it in front of the owner of the rickshaw shop. , giving him the impression that he is not sickly. At the same time, I feel that I am 90% sure that I have two legs. As long as I pull up my trousers and show him, Bao will be satisfied. When I was in school, I loved playing football, and recently I walked on mountain trails for almost two months. My feet and legs are really well developed.
Seeing the manager wearing a melon-skin hat, he explained to him the purpose of his visit in a gentle tone, and then asked hastily:
"I can also pull a rickshaw with a body like mine." ”
“Why not? It’s best for you to do it!” He made a sound like his nose was clogged, coughed, and spit out a mouthful of phlegm. Old men in their fifties are still driving carts on the streets! "
At first I was worried that my sick face would cause other problems. If he squinted his eyes and said "You can't do it", my hands would be ready to pull up the trousers and expose my legs. , as the guarantee for the final argument. I didn’t expect the result to be so good, so naturally I felt very happy.
“Do you know the street? This is very——" He blushed, coughed and choked a few more times, "It's very important! "
This is indeed a big problem, so I took a little trouble to answer it, "I... the street..." suddenly gained courage, "I know you." "
"Really? "Seeing that I seemed to be reluctant to answer, I was naturally suspicious.
"I don't know the streets, how dare I pull a car? "The threat of hunger forces me to be brave all the time.
"Yes! That's great!" He took out a huge book like an account book. I picked up my pen and wrote down the name, age, and place of origin that I reported to him. Then there was a sly light in his eyes, and he said very solemnly:
"The car rental is one yuan a day!" He blew his nose to clear the snot, and calmly wiped the greasy stuff on his two fingers. Under the chair he was sitting on, "It doesn't matter. If you run a few more streets, you can earn everything back. Also, if a customer gives you taxi money, no matter whether he has enough money or not, you stretch out your hand and say, 'Sir, please add a little more.'" ! 'I'm telling you, this is the magic weapon for finding money!"
"Can the car rental be less?" The rent of one yuan per day really scared me.
"This is a certain rule. If you don't pull, forget it!"
"Okay, I'll pull! I'll pull!" To continue the life that has reached a dead end, at present I will ignore the exploitation and harsh treatment for the time being.
"Oh, who protects you? Which shop is it?" He asked proudly after his victory.
"Oh, I don't have a guarantee!" I was a little panicked.
"Humph, I can't find the shop guard, so why don't you come to pull the car? Young man, why don't you ask around first?"
"I really can't find the shop guard, so I can't help it. Where!" replied him in embarrassment.
"What? What? I can't find a bailout!" His eyes immediately opened wide, and he was very surprised. He must have assumed that I was a bad person in his mind, right? His face turned red, he coughed and choked a few times, "Fuck you! Fuck you!" He waved his hands hastily and turned his head to the other side.
I retreated slightly. The early autumn morning sunshine outside the door touches my dejected face. The sound of the city was booming under a cloudless sky, but an inexplicable loneliness lingered in my heart. I put my hand into my pocket. The remaining seven copper coins from yesterday were still there, and the pessimism caused by the nasal congestion just now reduced a little. As long as there is charcoal to add, I, the locomotive, am not afraid of running all day long. Looking for hundreds of things, I will always encounter one. I am in such a non-depressed mood.
Although I am walking aimlessly on every street, my eyes are always willing to see a place where I can find a job without even realizing it. At this point, I had no choice. As long as you have a roof over your head and food to eat, no matter what job it is, whether it pays or not, you have to do it.
When I wanted to study in Chengdu but could not continue to attend school, I planned to wander in China’s metropolises, preferably to find a job where I could have time to study every day; now not only are all It all came to nothing, and I couldn’t even find a job to transform myself into a cow or a horse, but this did not make me lose my perseverance; however, the meaning of struggle that is needed to survive in life is now deeply imprinted on every nerve line of my memory.
When I walked to Chenghuang Temple Street, I wanted to go to one of those new bookstores, look through the new books on the shelves, and spend half an hour just like I did in Chengdu. But at this time, I felt a little ashamed, because the good times of flipping through books at random in bookstores were all over for me because I had the qualifications to buy books. Now, as soon as I walk into the store, my hands and feet will be watched and hated by many people's eyes.
Wandering around this street, I suddenly found the signboard of the Popular Newspaper Agency, hanging on the upper floor of the commercial mall. I planned to go in and have a rest. At the same time, I also wanted to give my brain some food, so I completely ignored the old news. Clothes express your identity.
There was no one in the newspaper reading room in a small building facing the street, and the guard seemed to be out on the street again. Just put some magazines, books and newspapers on the table. A ray or two of sunlight shines through the window. There were bright smiles all over the room. This cozy little world is exactly what I want, and it is the place where I can rest my hesitant heart. How great it would be if I were the caretaker of this newspaper reading room! There are certain tasks every day, which are roughly sweeping the floor, wiping tables and chairs, sorting magazines, and foldering old and new newspapers, right? I will definitely do this in an orderly manner and be praised by readers. The rest of the time, I have to read freely like a reader. It’s okay if you don’t have any wages. It would be better if you have two yuan as pocket money.
Take the new magazine, look at the cover, look at the title, and pay no attention to its content. When my fingers were turning, I was just fantasizing about some sweet dreams that would temporarily stabilize me.
Later, I looked through the newspaper again, and a large-character advertisement for Hua’an Machinery Factory recruiting apprentices jumped out at me. The location was said to be the South Gate Foreign Trade Port, which is the terminus of the Yunnan-Vietnam Railway. . The benefits of being treated as an apprentice now and becoming a craftsman in the future are all seductively mentioned; detailed regulations must be obtained from the factory office, and the benefits seem to be described in more detail. This was a glimmer of hope. I remembered the name of the street and factory and went there.
It was only two or three miles from the shopping mall to the commercial port outside the south gate, but because I was not familiar with the streets, I asked an old man in one direction and a child in the other, which led to many unnecessary trips. When we arrived under the eaves of the machine factory, my shadow in the autumn sun had shrunk into a pile, squatting at my feet. Work had just started in the factory, and the lead roof under the black chimney and the white water vapor left behind after watching the sentry were faintly left. There was a prospectus for recruiting apprentices posted in front of the machine factory. I just stood and read it without going in to get another copy. It said: After apprentices enter the factory, their food and accommodation will be provided by the factory. Naturally, this makes me very satisfied. But it took me three years to complete my studies, which made me a bit embarrassed. However, a second thought: It doesn't matter, just change jobs after staying for three to four months or a year and a half.
Another rule is that after completing the division, one must serve the factory. There is no need to worry about this. Before I finish studying, I have already traveled far and wide. Do you want to use conditions to restrict me and let you exploit me? That's a dream. While looking at it, I squinted at the people at the two tables inside the factory gate - they were probably technicians, drinking and eating, very cheerfully. Their voices and looks were all Annanese, and their drinking habits were very different from those of the Chinese. A large bowl of wine was placed among many dishes and bowls, and those present drank from it with spoons, which was quite unique. At the same time, needless to say, my appetite was aroused. I thought, when I go in as an apprentice, I must be well fed. However, now I can only try my best to swallow a mouthful of greedy water. Continuing to look at the wall again, another article said that there must be a good security guard - there are ghosts and ghosts, I screamed several times in a low voice. This is not abominable, but what follows is a deposit of thirty taels of silver. How infuriating! Why not make it clear in the advertisement that I was unjustly accused of running around for a long time and sweating all over before I got into this bad luck? You dog factory owner, you are making fun of me. She squeezed her fists and wanted to beat him up, but except for the dirty hard wall in front of her, there was nothing to hit. The factory owner who should have been given a beating to calm my anger is probably crawling out of the soft quilt and lying on another gorgeous bed, comfortably burning opium cigarettes, right?
Feeling full of anger, I started walking aimlessly towards a place without hope. I was a little tired and felt very hungry. After spending two copper coins to buy something and eat it carelessly, I felt that these two small setbacks were nothing. Before my muscles fall into the dust to be dragged by wild dogs and gnawed by ants, I have to keep struggling. However, out of a property of seven copper coins, only five were left, which was a matter of concern. No matter how optimistic you are, five copper coins will always be five copper coins. It will not increase, it will only decrease.