One day, the mother fly took the little fly to have lunch. While the little fly was eating, she couldn't help but ask her mother: "Mom, mom, why do we have to eat poop every day?" The mother looked at him and said: "Don't talk about such disgusting topics while eating!"
Early in the morning, the mother snail took the little snail out of the house.
The little snail asked her mother in confusion: "Where are we going?"
The snail's mother: "Didn't I agree to take you on a blind date?"
Little snail: "Ah, but I'm still young?!"
Mother snail: "It'll be almost done when we get there!"
Three dead people were sent away one day Go to the hospital.
The doctor asked: Why did they all die laughing?
The nurse replied: The first person died of excitement because he won 5 million!
The second person died because extreme joy gave rise to sorrow!
The doctor asked again: How did the third person die?
The nurse said: The third person died while picking apples on a rainy night?
The doctor is puzzled: How can one die with a smile while picking apples?
The nurse replied: Suddenly there was lightning in the sky! He thought someone was taking pictures of him.
1. A male deer walked faster and faster, and finally it turned into a highway (deer)!!!!
2. Two tomatoes were crossing the road, and a car was passing by. One of them couldn't dodge and was crushed. The other tomato pointed at the squashed tomato and laughed: Dig hahaha, ketchup...< /p>
3. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!" Guess what happened?
In the end, the big bad wolf ate the lamb.
4. The stone and the rice cake fought, and the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea.........
Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who were privately committed to life, but the boy had to perform military service, so he made an oath with the girl, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later. That ring was used as a wedding ring. After three years, the girl had been waiting for the boy, but could not wait. She was so sad that she threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair and left. However, the boy had also been waiting for him. I was waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, and it became a regret forever. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?
Rice cake!!!
5. Are the dumplings boys or girls?
The answer is boys because the dumplings have wrappers
6. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he was When the car hit him, he yelled: "Quack!" From then on, he turned into a cucumber!!
7. Matchstick suddenly felt that his head was itchy, so he reached out and scratched it. Burn yourself to death...
A man went to have his fortune told. The fortune teller touched the bones, told fortunes, and after calculating the horoscope, he said: You fall in love at the age of twenty, get married at the age of twenty-five, give birth to children at the age of thirty, and you will be rich all your life. Peace, happiness, health and worry-free old age. The man was first shocked and then angry, and said: I am thirty-five years old, have a doctorate, and am a bachelor. I am not in love. After hearing this, the gentleman thought for a while and said: Young man, knowledge changes your destiny.
Teacher: Sleeping in class, you...
Me: (Interrupting him) A lonely man kills someone in his dream. (Cao Cao is a traitor)
Teacher: (takes two steps back) Talking nonsense! I'll hit you later!
Me: That’s fine. (Guo Jiatian is jealous)
Teacher: Don’t fight back...
Me: If you come out to fool around, you will have to pay back sooner or later. (Feedback from Sima)
Teacher: How to pay it back? !
Me: What you owe me, you have to pay me back ten times! (The Fa rectifies grudges)
The teacher was so angry that he picked up a lighter and lit a cigarette
Me: This fire can help our army win a complete victory. (Wolong Fire Strategy)
The teacher picked up the book and slapped me
Me: Rat, how dare you hurt me! (Xiahou Dun is strong)
Teacher: It’s just hurt, what’s wrong?
Me: Take the other way and return to the other body! (Xiahou Dun is strong)
Teacher: Do you want to have sex?
Me: Am I afraid of you? (Wei Yan Kuanggu)
Teacher: Who do you think you are?
Me: I am Zhao Zilong from Changshan. (Zhao Yun Gentian)
Teacher: Idol! Sign your name! It was fate that allowed me to see you!
Me: Destiny? Hahahahahahahahaha... (Sima Ghost Road)
Teacher: Isn’t it? How dare you lie to me? Who do you think you are?
Me: I am the son of destiny! (Sima Ghost Road)
Teacher: I can’t stand you anymore, go home and get something to fight with, whatever you want!
Me: Taking your (the ancient language means /you/) head is like picking something out of a bag. (Xia Houyuan is very fast)
Teacher: You...
Me: I am good at attacking people from thousands of miles away. (Xia Houyuan is very fast)
Teacher: Give it a try.
Me (ran to the podium and grabbed the chalk): A hundred steps can pierce the Yang! (Huang Zhonglie Gong)
The teacher fell to the ground in response.
I walked up to the teacher, stepped on my foot and said: Please rest.
(Da Qiao Guose),
Then he walked out of the classroom and said: I'm sorry. (Diao Chan closes the moon)
At this time, the principal came and saw the teacher in the classroom and said to me: If you hit the teacher, are you afraid of being struck by lightning?
I answered: Mr. Lei, help me! (Zhang Jiao Lightning Strike)
Principal: You are a god, why does Thunder Lord listen to you?
Me: All major events in the world are under my control. (Zhang Jiao Ghost Road)
Principal: You are so awesome!
Me: I didn’t expect that. (Zhang Liao's surprise attack)
Principal: Let's sing a song.
Me: Listen, this is a requiem for you. (Zhou Yuyeyan)
Principal: It’s better not to sing, it feels so scary.
Me: Humph. (Huang Yueying Ji Zhi)
Principal: I don’t accept it, I want to fight. (The same kind of principal will make the same kind of teacher)
Me: Let me think twice (Sun Quan checks and balances)
Principal: Think twice, hurry up.
Me: That’s it. (Guo Jia’s legacy)
Principal (very excited): Let’s fight!
Me (picking up the teacher’s lighter): Let this raging fire wash away your sins! (Zhou Yuyeyan)
Principal: Little...children, don’t play with fire... (obviously scared)
Me: Don’t be nervous, I’m here. (Hua Tuo first aid)
Principal: You just want to burn me!
Me: This is for you! Hahaha (Sima Yi banished)
Principal: It’s better not to be rewarded like this.
Me: Don’t care about this (Lü Bu Wumou)
Principal (running): You don’t care about me! I won’t play with you anymore, it’s important for me to escape for my life!
I (catch up): Even the Emperor can’t save you! (Lu Bu Wuqian)