I lay on the big rock and looked up at the sky at a 90-degree angle. I wanted to pretend to moan in sadness, but I was afraid of scaring other orangutans. The sun in the sky was scorching, and it felt warm on my body. I felt so comfortable that I just wanted to close my eyes and take a nap.
A half-bitten banana was thrown at me. I squinted my eyes, picked it up with my big furry paws, opened it, and ate it. Then I handed the banana peel to the female orangutan Xiao Hei No. 1 who was catching lice for me. She happily took the banana peel and ran to throw it in the place designated by me for garbage disposal. I pointed to my right leg, and another female orangutan, Xiao Hei No. 2, hurriedly came up to take over the work of Xiao Hei No. 1. This is the wonderful life status of my soul after becoming an orangutan.
Yes, you read that right, I am not originally an orangutan, I am a human, female, and my ultimate dream is to be a foot-picking female man. One day, when I opened my eyes, I found that I had turned into a male gorilla.
Contrary to what you might think, I really enjoy being an orangutan. Because I found that the common sense I had gained from living in the human world for nearly thirty years (even though I was not a successful human being) was enough for me to become famous among the orangutans. Here, a sense of intellectual superiority arose spontaneously. I stood out among the orangutans, and all of them were crushed by me, leaving nothing behind. Here, I experienced the pleasure of being a king and the pretentiousness of successful people looking down on all living beings. I was extremely satisfied.
There is only one thing that gives me a headache. Even if I become an orangutan, I am very popular with the opposite sex. I really have no sexual interest in these black orangutans. The thought of mating with these orangutans makes me go crazy Shaking and unable to eat. What's even more frightening is that my defeated man, the red-haired gorilla Little Red No. 1 (it's a male), seems to be very interested in me as well. It always looks at me with affectionate eyes and exposes its white belly to seduce me! Please, my aesthetics are not so distorted. I am a complete beauty control, okay?
The person I like is a big star. I am his crazy fan, the kind of person who can’t wait to kneel down and lick him. Yes, I am still a groupie that everyone reviles. Our zoo may be recording a variety show in the next few days, and as the smartest animal in the zoo, I will most likely collaborate with him. When I think of this, I am so excited that I can't help but want to jump up and beat my strong chest.
"Hey, ugly gorilla!" A yellow-haired girl in her twenties threw an apple to me. I caught it casually and took a bite. It was okay, crispy and sweet. But I want to eat meat, I want to eat mutton kebabs. I seemed to really smell the smell of mutton skewers. I turned my head following the scent and saw a seven or eight-year-old fat man holding several mutton skewers and eating them. The meat was sizzling and oily, and the alluring aroma attracted me. My mouth watered. I walked up to the fence, looked at him, and stretched out my paws. The little fat man looked at me stupidly, and the other humans laughed and said, "It wants to eat it." "Where else does the orangutan eat mutton skewers?" "Give it to it and watch it eat." Children are generally naive, and they are also kind to me. If I ask for it, the chances of it being given are relatively high. But today, this little fat man was a food-protector and refused to give it, and even cried loudly. It's really not cute. I walked back dejectedly and felt a little sad when I heard the laughter of the people behind me. The first sad thing after becoming a gorilla is that I can no longer eat skewers casually. Say goodbye to my Malatang, my boiled fish, and my hot pot!
"Look, Mom," a little girl of four or five years old pointed at me and said, "That orangutan is so pitiful. Let's buy mutton skewers for it to eat." I was instantly excited, but Immediately I heard her mother say: "Honey, the orangutan can't eat mutton skewers, it will cause diarrhea. This is not good for it. Let's feed it bananas." "Damn it." I thought bitterly, "I'm not afraid. I have diarrhea. I don’t want to eat bananas, so I just want to eat mutton skewers.” But I finally got a banana. After all, it is one of the orangutans’ favorite fruits and cannot be wasted.
If I had known that I would become an orangutan one day, I would have made various preparations in advance, such as studying the lifespan, courtship, population and other relationships of orangutans. But the question is who can predict that one day he will become an orangutan? I don’t know how I changed, or where my original body went. And this question should not be thought about deeply. Once you think about it deeply, it will be very scary. It may rise to the question: Are there ghosts in this world? Are there any gods? Regarding faith, about theism, atheism, pantheism, and even idealism, materialism, the universe, and a series of human limit issues from philosophy to science to physics, etc., I thought for a long time and decided not to think about this purely because I was full. , the problem of farting when you have nothing to do. After all, we are just ordinary monkeys, right?
Fortunately or unluckily, the orangutan I turned into lived in a zoo, not in the wild. Losing freedom but not having to worry about food sources is, to a certain extent, the realization of my ultimate dream of becoming a rice insect. Although the cost is huge, it is a good ending for me, a waste with no ideals.
The only thing that makes me miserable is that the orangutan does not have a mobile phone and cannot access the Internet. Otherwise, I would be the happiest orangutan in the world.
How can there be a perfect life? There are always trade-offs.
I thought clearly and quickly adapted to life here. Keepers come to feed the orangutans every day. The food is delicious and hygienic for the orangutans. Veterinarians come to check on the orangutans every week to ensure the health of the orangutans. This is a bit flattering, considering that even before I turned into an orangutan, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy a weekly health check. Alas, the orangutan is still happy.
Adding me here, there are five orangutans in one ***. In addition to the previously mentioned Xiao Hei No. 1, Xiao Hei No. 2, and Xiao Hong No. 1, there is also a Xiao Hei No. 3. This It's a baby orangutan, male, about 8 years old. It's very cute and cute. It's my favorite here. It always acts coquettishly in front of me. I think it looks very much like the little star I like. Oh, it’s not about the appearance, it’s about the behavior.
When I defeated Xiaohong No. 1 and became the leader of these orangutans, Xiaohei No. 3 immediately surrendered to me, followed closely by Xiaohei No. 1 and Xiaohei No. 2. I I was very satisfied with their performance. After the initial hostility disappeared, Little Red No. 1 developed a strange liking for me and always tried to please and seduce me. This bothered me so much that I had to avoid it. I think maybe my charm is too great, even if I turn into a gorilla, I still can't eliminate it. It's so hard to let go of my natural beauty, and there's nothing I can do about it.
The days passed so fast, and finally the day came when I was going to cooperate with the star Xiao Xianrou. I was held by the breeder and handed over to Xiao Xianrou’s hand, and I was surrounded by people carrying guns and cannons taking photos. People are accustomed to having little fresh meat, and have become accustomed to it; now that I am an orangutan, of course I don’t need to worry about being photogenic; only my keeper, whose hands are shaking nervously, keeps looking at the camera lens. I sneered in my heart. I have never seen human beings in the world. This kind of program will not have scenes of amateurs at all, okay? What's there to be nervous about?
I observed this little fresh meat that I liked very much as a human being very carefully. Looking up close, he looked really damn good-looking. He looked at me curiously and kept holding my hand. He also smiled and touched my head and said, "It's so cute. It's pretty." Damn, I didn't get such good treatment when I was a human being. Enjoyed it as an orangutan. He has always matched my gorilla's pace, and the way he walks with his splayed legs makes him look like an orangutan. I can't help but think viciously: "It would be great if he turned into an orangutan too."
Happy time is always very short. After the dozens of minutes of shooting, Xiaoxianrou was taken away. Before leaving, he said goodbye to me. I looked at his back with sadness, What a nice human being, I still have good taste. It's a pity that since I've become a gorilla, I can't go on Weibo to show off to my fans. This feeling of winning the jackpot but having nowhere to show off is really terrible.
For this reason, I was too sick to eat food for the next few days, so the breeders suspected that I was sick. They called the veterinarian but could not find any symptoms. Later, I pointed at the TV in the keeper's surprised eyes. The keeper turned on the TV with a confused look on his face. He saw me happily eating bananas and sitting there watching TV. He said to the veterinarian: "It's not that after the founding of the People's Republic of China, animals Can’t I become a spirit? ”
I continue my life as an orangutan and don’t think about the future. I am an orangutan and I am very happy.