Every ethnic group attaches great importance to wedding customs, and the Han people are no exception. Below I will introduce to you the wedding customs of the Han people. You are welcome to read. What are the wedding customs of the Han people?
1. Seeing the bride
In ancient times, women were often born in a boudoir and no one knew whether they were beautiful or beautiful. After the matchmaker makes a deal, the man often requests to take a look. This kind of activity in which the man goes to the woman's home for the first time with the help of the matchmaker is called "visiting the bride". It is commonly known as "blind date".
The date of the blind date is predetermined by the matchmaker and notified to both men and women. Therefore, both parties must be prepared. The man should prepare some gifts according to the hobbies of the woman's parents; the woman should clean the courtyard and prepare to receive guests. As parties involved, both men and women should dress up as elegantly and glamorously as possible in order to give each other a good first impression.
Visiting a bride is a key link in the success of a marriage, especially for the man, who must treat it with caution. Although the gifts are nothing more than tobacco, alcoholic drinks and snacks, it does not matter whether they are large in quantity or high in value, but they must be suitable for the recipient and must not violate the taboos of the other person's parents; the clothes must be fashionable and fashionable; the words and deeds must be modest and courteous. In ancient times, when going to see a bride, a man could only let the matchmaker create an opportunity to secretly glance at the girl. But now it is different. Both men and women can meet and talk directly. Both parties have the opportunity to get a preliminary understanding of the other party.
China is a "land of etiquette and justice" and pays attention to implicitness. The results of seeing a prostitute are often not expressed directly, but expressed with various hints. In many places, after the man enters the house, the girl's parents first pour the young man a cup of hot tea. The young man sees that the girl likes it, so he drinks the tea in one sip. Then the girl's parents discuss with the girl, and if they agree to get married, they The man is left to have dinner with the matchmaker. If he doesn't agree, he is allowed to leave and go home. Some parents even ask the matchmaker to take away the meeting gift brought by the man.
In some areas, in addition to visiting relatives, there is also the custom of visiting other people's homes. "Visiting someone else's family" is actually also a marriage visit. The man is led by a matchmaker to the woman after she has seen the girl. The woman's parents do not express their opinion on the marriage for the time being, and then the matchmaker leads them back to the groom's home. The Qiyang area is called "Kandang". At that time, the man's parents should first offer a cup of fragrant tea and then talk to the woman's parents. The wife's parents inspect the groom's house and talk with the groom's parents. If they agree with the marriage, they drink all the fragrant tea. The groom's parents immediately treat the guests as "in-laws" and entertain the guests warmly. Otherwise, the girl's parents should get up and say goodbye, and the boy should not force himself to stay as a guest.
2. Ceremony
After seeing the bride and groom, the engagement formalities must be performed, commonly known as the ceremony.
The first step in the ceremony is for the matchmaker to send the man’s birth date to the woman, and the woman’s birth date to the man. Some superstitious parents, who think they are responsible for their children’s marriages, often After receiving the red message, you should ask a fortune teller to calculate it to see if the birth dates of both parties match. If not, the marriage will have to be reconsidered. Fortunately, most modern people no longer believe in this, so even if they exchange red posts, it is often just a formality, and some even do not even need to exchange red posts.
After the exchange of posts and the matching of horoscopes, the matchmaker will choose a good day to take the man to a ceremony and engagement. "Gifts" are a big deal. Generally, the initiator of the marriage (whether male or female) has to give a heavy gift to the other party. The gift must include at least a pig knuckle, a pair of wine, one chicken and duck, and one piece of clothing for the other party's parents. set. A pair of shoes and socks, a package, and some things for the girl. The amount of money to include in the package and what kind of engagement gifts to give to the girl are usually negotiated in advance by the matchmaker and both parties, and cannot be left to the discretion of the man (or woman). Of course, the man's or woman's parents should also try to be considerate of each other, strive to be more frugal, and accept less betrothal gifts.
3. Matchmaking
In feudal society, men and women are not allowed to marry each other, emphasizing that "it will not rain if there are no clouds in the sky, and they will not get married if there is no matchmaker on the ground". Both men and women generally have to be reconciled by someone before they can get married, harmonize with Qin and Jin, get married and understand the harmony between the two surnames. This kind of matching is called "matchmaking". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the name of "matchmaker" was changed to "introducer". People who did this kind of negotiation work were elegantly called "Yue Lao" and commonly known as "matchmaker". Later, they were called "introducer".
"Yue Lao" is the abbreviation of "Yue Xia Lao". According to "Novel of the Tang Dynasty", a scholar named Wei Gu was walking through Songcheng at night and met an old man sitting on the roadside leaning on a big bag, reading a big book in the moonlight. Wei Gu asked him politely what book he was checking. The old man replied that this is the marriage book of all people in the world. Wei Gu asked the old man what was in the big pocket. The old man replied: There is a red rope in it, and it can be used to tie the feet of men and women. As long as the feet of a man and a woman are tied to a red rope, even if they are sworn enemies or strangers thousands of miles apart, , and they will definitely get married. ?So, people say, ?Marriage of a thousand miles is tied by a thread. ?If the old man under the moon is not tied with a red thread, he will no longer be able to go anywhere. ?It can be seen that people are in awe of matchmakers.
Matchmakers are also called "matchmakers".
The talented scholar Yuan Zhen of the Tang Dynasty wrote an article "The Story of Yingying", which created the image of a smart and lively maid matchmaker. She repeatedly devised tricks and finally arranged the marriage between Zhang Sheng and Miss Yingying. Wang Shifu of the Yuan Dynasty wrote "The Romance of the West Chamber" based on this story, in which the image of the matchmaker is more intelligent and lovely. People refer to matchmakers as "matchmakers", which shows their importance and friendliness to matchmakers.
Matchmaking is not an easy task. This can be seen from the fact that matchmakers are nicknamed "Ice Man" and "Ice Axe". According to the "Book of Jin", Xiaolian Linghu Ce had a dream. He dreamed that he was on the ice and talking to the people under the ice. Suo explained this dream and said: You are talking to people under the ice on the ice, which symbolizes that you are reconciling yin and yang. Reconciling yin and yang is to be a mediator, and you will be a matchmaker for others. But it's not easy to be a matchmaker. You have to use your enthusiasm to melt the ice before the man and woman can get married. ?It seems that being a matchmaker requires passion and perseverance.
In old-style weddings, the matchmaker was also called a "Fake Man", and the matchmaker was called a "Jie Ke". This confirms that the matchmaker is an indispensable role. "The Book of Songs" chants: "How about attacking Ke? The bandit can't defeat it with an axe." How about getting a wife? No matchmaker allowed. ?It means: ?How can you cut down a big branch? Without cutting it with an axe; How can you get a wife? You can't get married without a matchmaker. ?
Matchmaking is a skill. The matchmaker must not only be familiar with the basic situation of the man, woman and their family, and strive to propose marriage to the right person, but he must also basically and accurately reflect the situation to the man, woman and their parents. Regarding the situation of the other party, it is necessary to hide the evil and promote the good as much as possible, so that both parties can fully understand the strengths of the other party and be willing to reach a marriage agreement. In other words, you have to be born with a "matchmaker's mouth". To be a matchmaker, one should be diligent in running errands. From the beginning of matchmaking between men and women, they should often travel between the men and women's families to communicate the situation, convey each other's wishes and requirements, and prevent unexpected changes. It is customary for both men and women to entertain the matchmaker. It is not an exaggeration to say "a matchmaker can have a hundred meals" in the country. It can be seen that he worked hard to match up.
The matchmaker plays an important role in old-fashioned weddings. After the man and woman have basically agreed on the marriage, he will guide the man to go on a blind date, send and exchange Geng stamps on behalf of both parties, lead the man to celebrate the engagement, choose an auspicious date for the marriage, guide the man to accept the bride, and assist in organizing the marriage ceremony, until the couple enters the ceremony. After getting the house, he threw the matchmaker over the wall. If the matchmaker does a good job and both parties are satisfied, they will often visit each other and become old friends; if the matchmaker does a bad job and both parties are dissatisfied, the matchmaker is often blamed and they will be treated as strangers from then on.
Speaking of a matchmaking, the matchmaker can get some money, which is called a "matchmaking gift". This money is usually paid by the man (if the man comes to the woman's house, the woman pays it), and is sent to the matchmaker's house together with the chickens, elbows, shoes and socks, and cloth on the day before the wedding. The matchmaker must go to guide the marriage the next day, which is called "round matchmaking", "qi matchmaking", and "fa matchmaking". The amount of money given to the matchmaker depends on the host's financial situation, but no matter how much it is, it must be sealed with red paper, which is called a "red envelope" or "envelope". It is customary to write "envelope signature" on the red envelope.