The true psychology of criticizing mulberry trees and huaihuai trees
The true psychology of criticizing mulberry trees and huahuai trees. Generally speaking, the quality of people who criticize mulberry trees and mulberry trees is not much higher. We need to treat such people correctly and not to overdo it. There are so many entanglements, so let me share with you the true psychology of criticizing others. The true psychology of criticizing mulberry trees and pagoda trees 1
The psychology of people who criticize mulberry trees and pagoda trees but dare not name them has the following types of psychology:
1. Such people are poor people with a cowardly character, and they have no heart. What's the number? He's a typical person who can't carry it clearly. If something is unclear, he gets angry randomly, and he doesn't know the specific target, so he can only vent his emotions by criticizing others.
2. This approach is deliberately disgusting. I want to scold someone, but I know who I want to scold, but I don’t say it directly to you. I just point my fingers at Sang and Huaihuai, making the listener angry. If I want to reply but can’t say anything, I will be dumb and eat Huanglian.
3. Another reason for this approach is that the target of the scolding cannot be determined, and if you want to vent your anger, you can only scold among the people you estimate and analyze, knock the mountain and shock the tiger, and tell the people who listen. Don't use your illiteracy as a demonstration.
Why do many people like to criticize others?
It’s very simple, just to disgust you.
Immediately scolding you will involve me in being dissed by you, and criticizing Sang and Huai will make you feel aggrieved but unable to scold you back. If you scold him back, you are stingy. If you don't scold him, you will feel depressed...
Those who criticize someone are definitely not a good person. If you can, don't provoke them. But if you are provoked, you can either be more relaxed and don't care. Either you break up, but the result may be that you become the unreasonable party.
If he wants to fall out with you, it means that if you do something that makes him unhappy, he will just take revenge in secret.
Normal psychology, if it doesn’t work, just don’t continue to get along. How could it be that when a person criticizes you, he has already blocked you in his heart? If you continue to get along with her, he can still pretend to you, but he will continue to disgust you in the future. If you don't get along with him, he will never get along with you. Will find you again.
Therefore, if you suspect that someone is criticizing the mulberry tree and the locust tree, just don’t get along with each other, and block friends in the circle of friends to criticize the mulberry tree and the locust tree. It’s scolding B. Chapter 16 of "Dream of Red Mansions": "If you go a little further, they will blame Sang and Huai for complaining." Chapter 69 Sister Feng privately said to Sister You: "My sister has a very bad reputation... all the girls and daughters-in-law said nothing. 4. Referring to mulberry trees and criticizing huai trees is a secret sarcasm. "The meaning of the two quotations is self-evident. It is definitely not a sincere criticism.
There are indeed people in society who clearly have an opinion on Person B, but instead of stating it clearly, they criticize Person A in a roundabout way. The content and circumstances of the scolding are completely directed at B, and a knowledgeable person can tell it right away. The phenomenon of "pointing fingers at mulberry trees and scolding huaihuai" is a distorted way of dealing with conflicts in interpersonal relationships. The scolder may have vented his grievances, felt happy for a while, and gained some psychological balance. If you ask him who he is scolding, he may not publicly admit that he is actually scolding B.
Person B who is being scolded often does so because he does not directly discuss the conflict with the other party. The conflict will not be intensified or resolved. He may also hold grudges in his heart, secretly increasing his hatred of the scolder. Both parties Relations will only become increasingly tense. Therefore, "pointing at mulberry trees and scolding huaihuai" is a corrosive agent that damages normal interpersonal relationships.
Those who have the habit of "pointing at the mulberry tree and criticizing the mulberry tree" have a suspicious personality, are narrow-minded, have an ambiguous attitude toward others, are not cheerful enough when encountering problems, and are unwilling to suffer in any situation. Such people often belong to a lower level of cultural literacy. Strictly speaking, it is also a sign of poor personality cultivation.
The phenomenon of "pointing out mulberry trees and scolding huaihuai trees" has been around for a long time and has always existed in society. It is normal for scolders to be confident and vent their anger at every turn; people around them do not consider this behavior to be a corrosive agent in interpersonal relationships, so they do not dissuade the scolder and just let it go. As a result, this phenomenon grows and spreads in society for a long time.
On the contrary, when getting along with others, they are wary of being insinuated and criticized, and are always wary, and even become a little "nervous". For example, when he enters an office and the people in the room suddenly stop talking, he will guess that they were talking about him; others undoubtedly mentioned some bad phenomenon, but although they did not name him, he thinks that they are talking about him and criticizing him.
As this kind of psychological deviation develops, he will implicate himself in more and more things that have nothing to do with him. This is called the concept of involvement in pathological psychology. If this situation develops and becomes fixed, it can become a symptom of mental illness, and other mental disorders may be derived from it, such as becoming the basis for "persecution delusions". Predisposition to developing mental illness. The occurrence of this kind of situation usually has environmental psychological background and the reasons that lead to sensitivity and suspicion.
Distorted criticism methods such as criticizing and insinuation are caused by the external environment; self-tension, sensitivity and suspicion, and disturbing others are the subjective reasons. Such people are often addicted to "blaming others and criticizing". I am suspicious because I am afraid of "treating others the same way I treat them", and I have a guilty conscience. Therefore, where this trend prevails and spreads, it is also a breeding ground for morbid psychology and a factor that hinders social mental health. From the perspective of mental health work, it should be eliminated.
Humans are social animals and it is impossible not to get along with others. Coordination of interpersonal relationships is crucial to physical and mental health. The practice of pointing fingers and making insinuations increases interpersonal friction, does not help, and also brings other negative effects. We should clearly point out its errors and emphasize its harm. As society progresses, its meaning should be devalued. Make it synonymous with words such as "double-faced", "hiding a knife in a smile", and "stoking dissension", thereby eliminating this bad habit. The true psychology of referring to mulberry and scolding Sophora japonica 3
China is the earliest country to cultivate mulberry trees; Sophora japonica is unique to China and is different from Sophora japonica. This idiom refers to the mulberry scolding the huaihuai, which means that on the surface it is this person who is being scolded, but in fact it is another person that is being scolded. This is indeed a conspiracy. Then why do you point at the mulberry tree and scold the locust tree? Why not scold him directly? Why can't we curse the other way round? This vivid idiom is also an insinuating code word, attracting people to uncover the mystery.
Since ancient times, China has been a large agricultural country, and farming life has given rise to the simplest farming and mulberry culture. Planting mulberry trees has many benefits: the mulberry leaves are used to raise silkworms, and clothing and silk are worry-free; the mulberry fruits are edible and are good for making wine; the trunks and branches are used for making utensils; the mulberry bark is used to make paper, which is tough and strong; all of the above can also be used as medicine. The mulberry tree became the tree of life in the minds of the ancients, and it is not surprising that it was regarded as a spiritual tree. In addition, hemp can be used to make ropes and textiles, so the term "mulberry hemp" specifically refers to farming. "Talking about mulberry and hemp over wine" speaks of the self-sufficient farm life.
From kings to common people, farming and mulberry cultivation are important. In fact, food and clothing are the foundation for survival and development. Encouraging farmers to teach farmers and mulberry trees is an important task of the government. According to the "Book of Rites and Monthly Orders", every year in the first month of the first lunar month, the emperor personally led his ministers to cultivate the fields, which was called "Yutian"; in the third month of the third month, the queen personally led the concubines to hold a ceremony of picking mulberry and raising silkworms, which was called "qingsi".
These are designed to supervise and encourage the development of the natural economy based on agriculture. The Han Dynasty Yuefu poem "Moshang Mulberry" describes the beauty and conduct of the mulberry picking girl Qin Luofu, which made the emperor "please see her" on the stage. This is a side reflection of the prefect's trip to encourage mulberry farmers in the spring season of the Han Dynasty.
During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, princes fought for hegemony and merchants took the opportunity to make huge profits. Many people abandoned farming and engaged in business, resulting in a decline in social productivity. In order to reverse the situation, Qin Xiaogong enacted Shang Yang's reforms, which emphasized agriculture and suppressed business, encouraged agriculture and silkworm breeding, and imposed heavy taxes on businessmen. Qin was able to rise rapidly and then annexed the six countries. The Han Dynasty inherited the Qin Dynasty's ideology of emphasizing agriculture and suppressing business, and doubled the tax calculation on merchants to prohibit merchants from disrupting social production.
The rulers of successive dynasties have inherited the agricultural ideology, which has made the mulberry tree more closely related to people’s lives. The emergence of the word "mulberry" proves that it is possible to "refer to mulberry". Since the Eastern Han Dynasty, mulberry trees have been planted to raise silkworms, and catalpa trees have been planted to light lamps. "Zhu Xi's Collection of Biography" says: "Mulberry trees and catalpa trees are two trees. In ancient times, in a house of five acres, under the wall of trees, the descendants left behind were eaten and used as tools. It is also used as a tool." It can be seen that mulberry trees have become a common tree in ordinary people's homes. In addition, the mulberry tree was planted by the parents. Seeing it can easily arouse the memory of the parents and arouse a sense of respect.
As stated in "The Book of Songs·Xiaoya·Xiaomu": "Wei Sang and Zi must stop respectfully. We look at the bandit father and rely on the bandit mother." Later generations used "Sangzi" as a surrogate name for their hometown or fellow villagers and elders.
Sophora japonica is also commonly planted among the people, mainly for the purpose of attracting wealth and driving away evil spirits. As the saying goes, "A locust tree in front of the door brings money rolling in." , is the best proof. The Sophora japonica is also called the Palace Sophora japonica, which originates from the fact that three Sophora japonica trees were planted in the palace of the Zhou Dynasty. Wang Wei of the Tang Dynasty had a poem "Gong Huai Mo": "The square path shades the palace locust trees, and the shade is full of green moss."
Huang Tingjian of the Song Dynasty wrote a poem "Ci Yun Wang Jinggong inscribed on the wall of the West Taiyi Palace": "The night breeze is fragrant with lotus flowers in the pond. "The prediction of Wang You's three locust halls came true, and it also shows that wealthy officials and noble families also have the custom of planting locust trees." The starting points for planting Sophora japonica among the people, the court, and officials are different. The main reason lies in the difference between seeking wealth and seeking an official position. After all, after the establishment of the imperial examination system in the Sui Dynasty, the channel for civilians to become officials through reading examinations was truly opened up. Before, ordinary people might have It's hard to hope for that.
I believe that the idiom of referring to mulberry trees and scolding sophora trees was not born out of scolding, but out of the simple and auspicious wishes of the people. As the saying goes: "If you don't plant mulberry trees in front of your door, don't plant locust trees behind your house." It is believed that planting mulberry trees in front of your house, as "mulberry" and "mourning" are the same pronunciation, means that "mourning" is ahead of you. It is unlucky to go out to see "mourning"; most houses The sun is rising, and the back of the house is yin. "Sophora japonica" is separated into wood and ghosts. "Wood ghosts" in the dark place will make people uncomfortable. Moreover, Sophora japonica is a symbol of good luck, longevity and official position. In ancient times, there was a custom of respecting Sophora japonica. It is taboo among the people to plant locust trees behind the house.
Therefore, since ancient times, there has been a folk custom of "planting Sophora japonica at the front door and planting mulberry at the back of the house". In addition to attracting wealth, Sophora japonica in front of the house also means to ward off evil and bring peace. The pronunciation of "Huai" is similar to the word "Huan" for return. People refer to mulberry and scold Sophora japonica in the hope that people who go out can return home safely and drive away all the frustration in the house through the back door.
This may be the original and simplest cultural origin behind "pointing out the mulberry trees and scolding the locust trees".
Of course, "pointing at Sang and scolding Huai" is becoming more and more widely used in dealing with relationships between people, pointing at Zhang San and scolding Li Si. Cao Xueqin used it many times in "Dream of Red Mansions", such as Chapter 16: "Of all the housekeepers and grandmothers in our family, which one is easy to pester? If they are wrong, they will make fun of them, and if they are wrong, they will criticize Huai's complaints. "This is what Wang Xifeng said when he complained to Jia Lian. Chapter 59: "Don't point at the mulberry tree and scold the locust tree." Chapter 69: "All the girls and daughters-in-law are talking about mulberry trees and locust trees, and they are secretly mocking each other."
These uses show that pointing to mulberry trees and scolding locust trees is a There are insinuations in the words, but they are not clearly stated. They are code words, and they also come from another characteristic of the locust tree: tall and gloomy, with dark colors. The name of the locust tree comes from "darkness". From a distance, the crown of the locust tree looks like a dense dark green cloud. Dark green is a dark color. Thick clouds also bring darkness. The word "槐" is also the same as the word "hui". The pronunciation is similar, "槐树" means "hui tree". Borrowing it to interpersonal relationships requires people to taste the "drunkard's meaning" implicit in it.
When it comes to "swearing", every country has its uncivilized side. The longer a country has a long history, the more uncivilized languages ??it uses. Compared with the straightforward "national scolding", criticizing mulberry trees and huaihuai seems much more elegant, tactful and wise. An idiom rooted in Nongsang culture has gradually penetrated into the lives of Chinese people.
Referring to how many years Sang and Huai have been circulating, then "Sang" has been blamed for how many years. Why is Sang chosen to blame? Some people think that because mulberry trees are common and can be pointed out at any time, this view is untenable. Catalpa, locust, and jujube trees are also very common. I think there are several reasons: First, "mulberry" is the same as "mourning", and "mulberry" is used as a punching bag to express frustration; second, mulberry trees reproduce quickly and have many children, which symbolizes life and fertility in traditional culture. , coupled with the close relationship between the mulberry girl and the mulberry tree, mulberry has the characteristics of a female surname.
In ancient times, women had a low status and belonged to a vulnerable group. In literary works, mulberry picking girls often played a tragic role of being humiliated. Third, "Hanshu Geography" records: Young men and women from Wei and Zheng often had trysts "on Pu Sangjian" and "lived and breathed." "Book of Rites and Music" sternly objected, "The sound of Zheng and Wei is the sound of troubled times", "The sound of Sangjian Pu is the sound of the country's subjugation. The government is scattered, the people are flowing, and false accusations are made for selfish purposes." The free and unrestrained romantic love in "Sangjian Pushang" was criticized for violating the social ethics and morals of the time.
In fact, referring to mulberry and scolding Sophora japonica has been circulating for many years, and both "Sang" and "Huai" have been blamed for many years, because this matter has nothing to do with them at all. "Referring to mulberry and scolding locust tree" just borrows the name symbol of mulberry locust tree. It is different from "melon field and plum tree", which is somewhat related to melon and plum trees, just because both trees have rich symbolic meanings in ancient China.
In the agricultural mulberry culture, the rich connotation of mulberry trees is mainly reflected in the folk and ordinary people. The locust tree is different. In ancient my country, the locust tree was a tree that must be planted in the palace. From the Zhou Dynasty, when it symbolized the position of the three princes and ministers, it began to ascend to the hall of elegance. From then on, "locust tree" and "official" were closely related. connected.
For example, Huai Ding is a metaphor for the Three Dukes or the position of the Three Dukes, and also generally refers to the ministers in power; Huai Yan refers to the Three Dukes; Huai Chen refers to the emperor's palace; Huai Ye refers to the palace; Huai Wang refers to the palace. A reputable official; Huaishou refers to the seal ribbon of the three Dukes; Huaiyue refers to a senior official in the court; Huaichan refers to a high-ranking official, and Huaifu, Huaidi refers to the official residence or residence of the Three Dukes, etc. Therefore, Sophora japonica became the synonym for "Three Lords" and a symbol of wealth.
In the chapter "Zhenguan Politicians·Criminal Law" of the Tang Dynasty, this sentence of Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty was recorded: "In ancient times, when a person was sentenced to prison, he must be interrogated by officials with three locust trees and nine thorns. Nowadays, three officials and nine ministers are their duties." Also. "The lost Wei Shu "Chun Qiu Yuan Ming Bao" in the late Western Han Dynasty also said: "The ancients said that the locust tree will return to the tree, and the people will listen to it, so that the love will return to the truth." Hearing the case below can bring the facts of the case to light. Over time, the name of the Sophora japonica tree was extended from the name of "Sangong" to the official residence of Duanjing, which was called "Sophora Gate" and "Sophora Hall".
The mulberry tree is a common economic tree in ordinary people's families, while the locust tree is a cultural tree planted by the government or wealthy families, representing different classes. "The eight-character yamen opens to the south. If you have reason or money, don't come in." Because in ancient times, it was common for officials to protect each other and to be corrupt and pervert the law.
In reality, there are very few "blue sky". The common people have no place to redress their grievances and dare not confront the government. They can only scold behind their backs. For fear of being falsely accused, they turn to point at the mulberry trees and scold them. Huaishu's real intention is to scold those bureaucrats who ignore the people, and express his hatred for the prison officials in an extremely obscure but cunning way.
As a military strategy, referring to mulberry trees and scolding Sophora japonicas has a more profound significance. It was widely circulated because it was included in "Thirty-Six Strategies". The original meaning of "Zhi Sang and scold Huai" refers to the military management strategy in which the combat commander indirectly admonishes his subordinates and uses the most effective hint method to make them respect him. However, this strategy is an indirect way to achieve its goal euphemistically. In actual application, it should be understood as "killing chickens to scare monkeys" or "knocking on mountains to shock tigers". To establish moral integrity, prestige and credibility, military commanders must strictly enforce laws and disciplines and act vigorously and resolutely.
Be good at catching outstanding negative examples and deal with them strictly to achieve the effect of serving as a warning.
At the same time, criticizing Sang and Huai also extends to using various political and diplomatic strategies to exert public pressure on opponents to cooperate with military operations. For the strong party, warning can be used to frighten the weak party and induce it with warning. This method can also be used to counteract the weak party. Tough and decisive measures can be used to achieve unexpected results.
In ancient legends and history, there are many masters of criticizing people, such as Chun Yukun, Meng You, Dongfang Shuo, etc., who have almost turned this curse into an elegant art. In contrast, the strategy of criticizing Sang and Huai has evolved from an elegant art to an insidious power tactic. It is no longer a kind of literary fight in which nails are used to scold others, but a kind of martial arts that kills one to scare others, kills chickens to scare monkeys, and kills one to scare hundreds of others - setting up some kind of trap to lure others to the sword, and using the light and blood of the sword to intimidate subordinates. So as to smoothly control and dispatch subordinates.
Sima Ranju killed the supervisor Zhuang Jia and killed the entourage and driver of Qi Jinggong’s envoy. This was a trap and killing. Another example is Guan Zhong's plan to attack Sui State and use the weak country to show his prestige. He actually frightened Lu State and other countries by beating the dog and shaking the master. In today's complex and ever-changing world situation, criticism as a deterrent technique still has practical significance for running the army and the country.
The "conspiracy" of referring to mulberry and scolding sophora japonica is rooted in the mulberry culture and is deeply imprinted on traditional Chinese culture. From the initial relationship between people and things, people and people, to people and officials, the relationship has become more and more complex; from economics and politics to military and diplomacy, the fields have also penetrated step by step, becoming a window into traditional culture. It is up to man to plan things, but it is up to Heaven to make things happen. Conspiracy is needed on the road of life, and "conspiracy" is also inseparable. We can express it implicitly and use it strategically, which will definitely dispel the dark clouds in our hearts.