Our country’s marriage customs have existed since the primitive society, but that era was in a barbaric era and there was no standardized wedding process. In the Huangdi era, there was no clear distinction between marriages between people of the same surname and the same race, and marriages between close relatives abounded. Moreover, women are often sisters who marry one husband, and there is no distinction between direct concubine and concubine. During the reign of Emperor Zhuanxu, the status of men and women began to diverge. Women had to stand by the road and bow their heads when meeting men. The idea that men are superior to women probably began to form at that time. Therefore, from ancient times, women did not have the right to freedom, and marriage was in the hands of men. However, the marriage system really became popular only in the Zhou Dynasty. Because the Duke of Zhou assisted the government and formulated rituals and music, the aristocracy paid more and more attention to etiquette and customs. Therefore, our today's wedding customs became popular from the Zhou Dynasty.
Crown Ceremony in the Western Zhou Dynasty: Crown Marriage
According to the "Book of Rites·Quli": "A man's 20th crown is a Chinese character, and a woman's 15th hairpin is a Chinese character." Aristocratic men When you are 20 years old, you will participate in the crowning ceremony, put on a dress and a hat, and the elders will take the title. After this set of procedures is completed, it indicates that you have reached adulthood. At the age of 15, aristocratic women participated in the hairpin ceremony, put on gorgeous dresses, inserted hairpins, and then took the name. After the ceremony is completed, it also heralds adulthood. Does it mean that after the man has participated in the crowning ceremony and the woman has completed the hairpin ceremony, both parties can get married? No!
According to the records of "Zhou Li·Di Guan·Mianshi": "A man is married when he is thirty, and a woman is married when she is twenty." This is the official age stipulated by the Zhou Dynasty, that is to say, a man is 30 years old. Women can only get married when they are 20 years old. Does this subvert our imagination? The age of 30 is considered an older youth now, let alone in ancient times. I believe that few people can wait until they are 30 years old, and many people start marrying wives after being crowned. However, getting married in ancient times was not something you could just get married if you wanted to. First, you needed to hire a eloquent matchmaker. What to do if you have a matchmaker? He must be going to the woman’s house to propose marriage! To be honest, the families who could go through this process in ancient times were from the aristocratic class, so men generally did not worry about not getting a wife.
There is another sentence in "The Book of Rites·Quli": "The punishment is not for the officials, and the courtesy is not for the common people." The ancient criminal law did not have much binding force on the scholar-bureaucrat class, and the Zhou rites did not involve it. To the common people (commoners outside the capital, responsible for farming and paying taxes), only the aristocratic class observed weddings during the marriage period. Etiquette is regarded as a symbol of civilization, and those who are separated from these etiquette are regarded as barbarians. Therefore, "the etiquette is not inferior to common people." Noble men are superior to others and must abide by Zhou etiquette, otherwise they will be no different from barbarians.
In the Western Zhou Dynasty, if a man wanted to get married, he had to go through a set of wedding customs. This process is called the "six rites". Before getting married, the parents of the groom's family must first find a matchmaker and bring a gift (a "goose", actually, it is now a goose) to the bride's family to negotiate with a matchmaker to propose marriage, which is called "nacai". At this time, the woman's family must pay attention to "the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker." If the woman's father agrees to the marriage, the matchmaker will ask for the woman's name. This is called "asking for the name." The girl's father tells the matchmaker the birth date of his daughter, and the matchmaker takes the horoscope to the ancestral temple for divination, and if the divination is auspicious, it will be auspicious. The matchmaker came again with a small gift and went to the woman's house to announce the good news. He said that the two had good horoscopes and could get married. This was "Naji". The next step is for the man's family to take ten pieces of coins, silk and animal skins (now called betrothal gifts, and they were given differently in different dynasties) to the woman's house to deliver the betrothal gift, which is called "Na Zheng". The two families agree on a time to get married, which is called the "please date". On the wedding day, the man wears a wedding dress, takes a black car, and goes to the bride's house to greet the bride, which is called "personal greeting". Finally, ancestor worship is held at the ancestral temple, and the marriage is almost completed. Since the Western Zhou Dynasty, this etiquette has been used by all dynasties. Nowadays, weddings in many places follow this process.
The aristocratic men of the Western Zhou Dynasty may have married a little late, but they could marry multiple wives, but they could not marry women with the same surname. When a man marries a wife, he is also divided into concubines. The emperor's concubine is called "queen", the concubine's concubine is called "ma'am", the concubine's concubine is called "ruren", and the concubine's concubine is called "wife". "People", common people's legitimate wives are called "wives". The status of the legitimate wife is equal to that of the man, while the status of the concubine cannot surpass that of the legitimate wife. In the Western Zhou Dynasty, most of the concubines were bought and had a low status, so they were called "husbands". When aristocratic men in the Western Zhou Dynasty married a wife, their nephew (brother's daughter) and sister (sister) often married the same husband. The elder sister was the eldest wife, and the younger sister was the younger wife. They were concubines and had a higher status than concubines. Therefore, in ancient times, in order to be the first wife, women desperately wanted to be the first woman in a man's life.
Fan Li and Xi Shi Spring and Autumn and Warring States Period: Political Marriage
During the Spring and Autumn Period, the status of the princes gradually increased, and the strength of some princely states had surpassed the Emperor of Zhou. Especially after Zheng Zhuanggong shot King Zhou Huan in the shoulder, the authority of the Emperor of Zhou was gone. Therefore, during the Spring and Autumn Period, the princes began to fight against the emperor Zhou, and the Spring and Autumn Period also entered an era of collapse of rituals and music.
In the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, women from the aristocratic class had become a marriage tool. Women often had little personal freedom, which was commonplace in the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. There is an idiom called "Qin and Jin are good", I believe many people have heard of it. There was civil strife in the Jin State, and Duke Wen of Jin went into exile abroad for 19 years. When he arrived in the State of Qin, Duke Mu of Qin married his five daughters to Duke Wen of Jin. One of them was the daughter-in-law of his nephew Prince Yu (Dong Huai of Jin) named "Huaiying". ".
After all, Huaiying was his son-in-law, so Jin Wengong was embarrassed to explain so he declined. If Duke Wen of Jin did not accept it, he would probably not be able to get help from Qin. In the end, under the persuasion of his entourage, he became a "good friend of Qin and Jin" and accepted five women from Qin (except Wen Ying, the other four They are all women from the Qin clan and are concubines in dowry).
Judging from the idiom "Qin and Jin are good", Duke Wen of Jin's wife was actually given by Duke Mu of Qin. Although Huaiying was his son's wife, he didn't care so much in order to be the king. Therefore, Huaiying became a marriage tool and was given to Duke Wen of Jin. In fact, such examples abound during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. During the period of Duke Zhuang of Zheng, Duke Xi of Qi wanted to marry his daughter to Prince Hu, but he refused twice. Prince Hu said that Zheng was a small country and could not afford it. In fact, this was a modest statement. He probably heard that Qi Xigong's daughter "Wen Jiang" had an affair with his brother, so he refused twice. Later, Duke Xiang of Qi had an affair with his sister Wen Jiang and killed her husband Duke Huan of Lu. It seems that the prince's sudden refusal to marry was justified.
There is actually a detail about the murder of Duke Huan of Lu. That is when Duke Huan of Lu went to Qi, and his wife Wen Jiang wanted to go with him. But the doctor Shen Sui objected. He said: Women have a wife and men have a family. When your parents were alive, you could go back to your parents' home for a visit once a year. Now that your parents are gone, there is no need to go back to avoid suspicion. Duke Huan of Lu refused to listen and was killed.
Due to the collapse of etiquette and music in the Spring and Autumn Period, for example, brother and sister had an affair, a son married his stepmother, and the father married his daughter-in-law. It can be said that it was chaotic. In the history of the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a woman named "Xia Ji". Her life was a legend, which can be described as "killing three husbands, one king and one son, and destroying a country and two ministers". She has been married so many times by herself, and she was still able to get married in the Spring and Autumn Period. It can be seen that marriage in the Spring and Autumn Period no longer pays attention to etiquette. As long as the woman is beautiful, everything is thrown aside.
Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun in the Han Dynasty: Early Marriage
After Qin Shihuang unified the six countries, the nobles of the six countries were completely reduced to civilians, and wedding etiquette was no longer the private property of the nobles. After the fall of the Qin Dynasty, the wedding etiquette system gradually became popular among the people. Judging from Liu Bang's marriage to Lu Fei, it seems that a match can be arranged without the need for a matchmaker. Lu Pheasant's father fled to Peixian County from Qi State, but he fell in love with Liu Bang, who had nothing. You know, Liu Bang belongs to the common people. Lu Gong thought that Liu Bang would be rich and powerful in the future, so he betrothed his daughter to Liu Bang.
At that time, Liu Bang was 15 years older than Lu Pheasant. If it was a free love, I believe that Empress Lu would definitely look down on Liu Bang. Therefore, in the Western Han Dynasty, the father still made the final decision on marriage, and who his daughter would marry depended entirely on the father's words. In addition, marriage was relatively early in the Han Dynasty. Men usually got married at the age of fifteen or sixteen, and women could marry at the age of thirteen or fourteen. Queen Lu was actually older when she married Liu Bang. Queen Lu's son Liu Ying was born in 210 BC, and Lu Pheasant was 31 years old at the time. It is really difficult to say whether Queen Lu is married for the second time. However, second marriage in the Han Dynasty was actually quite normal. Liu Bang's other wife, Bo Ji (the mother of Emperor Wen of Han Dynasty), was originally the wife of Wei King Wei Bao. Wei Bao was destroyed by Han Xin, and Bo Ji became Liu Bang's concubine. Although Bo Ji was Wei Bao's woman at the beginning, it did not affect his son's becoming emperor. It can be seen that women in the Han Dynasty, whether you are married or not, are no longer looked down upon.
For example, I believe many people have heard of the story of Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun. Zhuo Wenjun's father was the grandson of Zhuo Wang, a wealthy businessman in Shu County (Chengdu). She got married at the age of 16, but her husband passed away within a few years. Zhuo Wenjun had to return to her natal family and live a widowed life.
Sima Xiangru once served as a guest under King Xiao of Liang Liu Wu. After King Xiao of Liang died, he returned to Chengdu. Although Sima Xiangru came from a poor family at that time, he was famous and talented, so Wang Ji, the magistrate of Linqiong County in his hometown, made good friends with him.
Once Zhuo Wangsun hosted a banquet for local guests, and Linqiong County Magistrate Wang Ji was among them. When the county magistrate Wang Ji arrived at Zhuo Wangsun's house, he also called Sima Xiangru there, mainly to support the scene. Sima Xiangru began to complain that he was sick and refused to go away. The county magistrate Wang Ji had to personally invite Sima Xiangru to Zhuo's house to attend the banquet. It can be seen that the county magistrate gave him enough face, and Sima Xiangru had to bite the bullet and attend the banquet.
During the banquet, the county magistrate asked Sima Xiangru to play the piano. In fact, he was asking Sima Xiangru to support himself. You see how powerful my friend is. This can also show off the taste of the county magistrate, right? Sima Xiangru did not refuse, so he played the song "Phoenix Seeking the Phoenix". It happened that Zhuo Wenjun, the daughter of Zhuo Wangsun, liked to listen to music. Zhuo Wenjun simply wanted to listen to music at first. Out of curiosity, he peeped from the side room and saw a handsome guy playing the piano. Zhuo Wenjun had no intention of listening to the piano at that time, having already been attracted by Sima Xiangru's handsome appearance. Most likely, I sighed in front of the maid, such a handsome guy, it's a pity that he doesn't belong to me, and I am not worthy of him.
"The speaker has no intention, but the listener has intention!" The maid probably told Sima Xiangru what Zhuo Wenjun said about his admiration for Sima Xiangru. Sima Xiangru probably had already heard about Zhuo Wenjun's beauty, so he conveyed his ambiguous feelings to Zhuo Wenjun through his maid. Zhuo Wenjun knew that his parents would not agree, so he made an appointment with the maid and eloped at night. It can be seen that there is no particularity in the Han Dynasty. I don't care whether you marry or not, just like it and don't care what others say.
During the Ming and Qing Dynasties, after the death of their husbands, many women remained unmarried and were regarded as chaste wives. If a son becomes a high-ranking official, a chastity arch will be erected.
However, there was no such taboo on marriage in the Han Dynasty, and they did not listen to "the orders of parents or the words of matchmakers." As long as they looked at it correctly, regardless of whether their parents agreed or not, there was only one word - elope.
After Zhuo Wenjun eloped with Sima Xiangru, he was faced with no food to make ends meet, because Sima Xiangru’s family was so poor. Love can't be eaten as food, right, but Zhuo Wenjun didn't dislike him either. Fortunately, she was the daughter of a rich man, so she had connections, so she joined her brother and started selling wine. My father-in-law found out about this, and I felt very humiliated. After all, he is a rich man. Although his daughter is unfilial and secretly runs away with others, she is still his daughter. With the persuasion of their family, they finally got it done. It is said that he also gave them hundreds of domestic slaves and millions of money for free. With money, Zhuo Wenjun and Sima Xiangru returned to Chengdu, bought fields and houses, became rich, and lived a prosperous life ever since.
The love story between the two is like a fairy tale. Whether it is ancient times or modern people, they probably dream of marrying the daughter of a rich man and reaching the pinnacle of life. Of course, the ideal must be there, what if it comes true?
Finally, let’s talk about weddings. According to "Tongdian": "Since the Eastern Han, Wei and Jin Dynasties, times have been difficult and good times, and people who are eager to get married have used gauze to cover their heads, and husbands have Since the Eastern Han Dynasty, when a woman reaches her age and is eager to get married, she will cover her face with a gauze scarf, tie her hair and pay homage to her uncle and aunt. Auntie, then the wedding was completed, and the so-called "six rites" were abolished. Therefore, the weddings of ordinary people in the Han Dynasty were very simple, and they did not even need any gifts.
Portraits of women in the Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties: Comparing marriages is like buying and selling!
During the Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, the Central Plains had been completely devastated by war. Starting from the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, the war had not stopped for a moment, the people were displaced, and the ordinary people could hardly live a good life. Therefore, a poor family cannot talk about a happy marriage. In order to change their status, many people place their hopes on marriage and make plans.
According to the records of "Northern History": "Cui Julun's aunt refused to let her sister submit to the humble clan. When they married, they often compared their fathers and ancestors. Therefore, the common people are proud to marry the daughter of a high-ranking scholar. That is to say, a woman from her husband's family who has been convicted and has no official position, is a poor woman, and she is extremely honored."
The aunt of Cui Julun, a minister of the Northern Dynasties, refused to submit her sister to serve the Xianbei people. During the intermarriage, Cui Julun persuaded the other party that the other party's family was very prominent and had high status, and they were all high-ranking officials, so he could marry his sister. Therefore, during the Southern and Northern Dynasties, the lowly common people were proud to marry noble women. Even if a woman from a poor family married a woman whose husband had lost his official position, he felt extremely honored to marry a woman from a poor family.
In the "Yan Family Instructions·Family Governance" of the Southern and Northern Dynasties, it even states the common people's views on marriage: "Marriage is a common practice, and Jinghou has become a rule. In modern times, when people get married, they sell their daughters to make money. , buy women and lose silk, compare with fathers and ancestors, care about money, more responsibility is less, just like in the market."
The general meaning is that marriage should be of the same family, the ancestor Jinghou (the ninth ancestor of Yan Zhitui). Yan Han) has already set this rule. In modern marriages, the woman's parents make money by marrying off their daughter, which is like selling their daughter. When the man's parents marry a daughter-in-law, they use money and silk to buy it. When choosing a spouse for their children, one party compares the other party's power and status, while the other party cares about the other party's wealth and gifts. When you get married, you still have to bargain, which is no different from doing business.
Yan Zhitui completely exposed the pathological marriage in society at that time. Therefore, the Southern and Northern Dynasties were all about comparison and transactional marriage. Noble women wanted to marry a powerful man, while children from poor families wanted to marry a woman with a noble family background. Whether they are nobles or children from poor families, they all want to follow the dragon and the phoenix. The result of such a marriage is that the woman's son-in-law is wretched and despicable, while the man's daughter-in-law is fierce and powerful. In fact, both sides made wrong calculations. Therefore, during the Northern and Southern Dynasties, not only the country was in chaos, but marriages were also in chaos.
In addition to marriage comparisons, there are also many conflicts during this period. For example, wealthy families can marry many wives, but there are constant family fights. Some are old and their sons are still very young. If the father dies, the elder brother can still marry the stepmother. When parents marry daughters, they also teach them to be jealous, so the concubine turns over and falsely accuses the mother-in-law of being a concubine, and the concubine demotes the brother-in-law to a servant. Even the princes and princesses were dishonest. Princess Shanyin (the sister of the deposed emperor Liu Ziye) is the best example. Therefore, I really cannot bear to elaborate on the marriages in the Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties.
Wu Zetian Tang Dynasty: Inter-marriage heavy wealthy families
In the legendary hour of the Tang Dynasty "The Biography of the Bearded Guest", there is a story that Li Jing, a famous general of the Tang Dynasty, once sought refuge with the powerful official Yang Su of the Sui Dynasty. Dancer Hongfu fell in love with Li Jing at first sight. When he left, he asked someone to follow Li Jing. He went there late at night, boldly confessed his love and eloped with Li Jing. From this story we can see that it was rare in ancient times for a famous general to elope with a dancing girl! However, it is well known that women in the Tang Dynasty had a high status and a high level of openness. However, when Wu Zetian was not in power, the status of women was not high.
In the early Tang Dynasty, ordinary people often took pride in intermarriage between wealthy families and were ashamed of humble marriages. Therefore, intermarriage was prevalent among prominent families in the Tang Dynasty, and customs and habits from the Southern and Northern Dynasties were even retained. What bad habits will result from intermarriage between wealthy and distinguished families? In fact, they form cliques, and local officials collude with each other. Many people can become officials by relying on family connections.
In order to put an end to this phenomenon, Emperor Gaozong of the Tang Dynasty banned the custom of intermarriage between families. However, there is no way to stop them even if they are ordered to do so. In order to cover up, these people often keep a low profile. They don't hold extravagant weddings. The woman dresses up casually and is sent to her husband's house in a carriage to become a daughter-in-law. So, in order to escape the law, they even skipped the wedding.
In addition to intermarriage between wealthy and distinguished families, the gentry in Shandong (often referring to the area east of Mount Laoshan) asked for a large amount of betrothal gifts when marrying off their daughters, which was called selling marriage at the time. In addition to selling marriages, ghost marriages have also begun in the Tang Dynasty. Usually in wealthy families, the man died young and was not married. In order to have a wife, a married woman spends money to buy a woman and let her hold a wedding. This is a "ghost marriage".
However, weddings in the Tang Dynasty were more elaborate than any previous dynasty. Since the Han, Wei and Jin Dynasties, the country has been in decline. Under the rule of Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty, the Tang Dynasty gradually prospered, so people began to pay more attention to weddings. According to the records of "Youyang Zazu": The Tang Dynasty paid great attention to receiving Cai Cai. When receiving Cai Cai, nine kinds of items were given as gifts, including "Jiahe (rice), Albizia (Lantana), donkey-hide gelatin, and Jiuzipu (cattail grass). , red reed, double stone, cotton wool, longevity lock, dry paint."
What do these things mean? Jiahe means "family harmony and blessing", Hehuan means "eliminating grievances and making peace, making the whole family happy", and Guaqi means "like glue and paint" which means firmness. Mianxu means "warm and gentle" and pampas grass means "its heart can be bent or stretched". The longevity lock means "long life and wealth", and the double stone means "the pair is unbreakable".
In addition to preparing the above nine items, when the man welcomes the bride, he fills the mortar basin with three liters of millet, covers the well with a mat, stuffs the window with three kilograms of hemp, and then uses Three arrows were placed on the door. When the wife got into the car, the son-in-law rode around the car three times. Before getting on the bus, you have to wear a veil. The wife entered, uncle, aunt, and everyone else came out from the side door, and then entered through the main door. After the wife enters the ceremony, she first worships her ancestors, then the husband and wife bow to each other, and then they tie a concentric knot in front of the mirror, which is called the "*** knot mirror knot". In addition, in the Tang Dynasty, there was a custom of having a wedding room. If a wife is married in the twelfth lunar month, the wife is not allowed to see her aunt's family.
In the Tang Dynasty, if you were to complete this set of customs, you would probably have to prepare for it for a year in advance, which is really tiring to think about. Especially the preparation of Jiahe, Hehuan and Shuangshi. Without it, it is estimated that it will be difficult to even get married.
The Romance of the West Chamber in the Song Dynasty: Marriage on the fingertips
The Song Dynasty adhered to a principle, that is, "avoid the use of force when problems can be solved with money." Therefore, the Song Dynasty often went to the north to The Liao and Jin people paid annual coins in exchange for peace and tranquility on the border. If the country is at peace, it will vigorously develop its economy. Therefore, the Song Dynasty became the richest dynasty in the history of our country. Because the country is not short of money, if it can be solved with money, it will not use force. However, as a result of being too wealthy, the Song Dynasty emphasized culture over military affairs. Therefore, I feel that the Song Dynasty was weaker than the northern regime in terms of military force.
Let’s get down to business. The Song Dynasty was prosperous, but their marriage was relatively deformed. In the Song Dynasty, "marrying with fingertips" was popular. Some children are promised marriage to another family while they are still in their mother's belly. According to current parlance, this is a "baby kiss".
"Marriage on the fingertips" has a great influence. If a man grows up to be a scoundrel or suffers from a serious disease, the woman's family will have to agree unconditionally. For women, it is undoubtedly a big deal. kind of disaster. In addition, when men get promoted, they often go to other places to marry and have children again. The woman is still afraid to marry, so the man abandons the marriage and even files a lawsuit. It was common in society at that time for wives and children to be separated.
I guess some people will be very curious. Two families are "married on the fingertips". What should they do if they give birth to a boy or a girl? In fact, this has already been agreed upon. If they are of the same sex, they will become brothers or sisters when they grow up. What if, after growing up, the two families "marry" in the next generation. Therefore, from generation to generation, "fingertip marriage" has gradually become popular and cannot be stopped.
In addition to "marriage with fingertips", a kind of matchmaking based on financial resources was also popular in the Song Dynasty. In ancient times, after all, people paid attention to being well-matched, and everyone wanted to marry a rich family. However, when the matchmaker proposes marriage to the woman's family, he first goes to the woman's family with generous gifts. Then, exaggerate the man’s family background and financial strength. He said that the other party's ancestor was a high-ranking official and his family had numerous fields and houses. If you marry such a man, you will definitely not have to worry about food and clothing. Because my parents lacked investigation and understanding, and were obsessed with money, they agreed immediately. After you agree, you can't go back on your promise. If you go back on your promise, you'll be sued, and you might even go to jail. Therefore, after a woman marries a man, she discovers that his family is completely destitute. Such marriages lead to disharmony between husband and wife, leading to many divorces. Therefore, there were very few satisfactory marriages in the Song Dynasty.
What was the scene like when getting married during the Song Dynasty? In fact, it is very simple and not as particular as the Tang Dynasty. At the time of marriage, the bride's party invites several music players. On the wedding day, the man goes to welcome the bride, and a high seat is set up in the woman's house. Two chairs are placed back to each other, with a saddle placed on top. The son-in-law sits on it and drinks three glasses of wine. The woman's family toasted three times and then let her down. If the other party does not set up a high seat, it is considered impolite and means that he looks down upon the son-in-law.
Ming Dynasty, Ming and Qing Dynasties: Value Chastity
The Ming Dynasty Emperor Zhu Yuanzhang was born into a civilian family and once sought refuge with Guo Zixing, the leader of the Red Turban Army in the late Yuan Dynasty. Because Zhu Yuanzhang repeatedly performed extraordinary feats, he was appreciated by Guo Zixing, and later married his adopted daughter Ma to him.
Therefore, in the Ming Dynasty, the father still made the decision in marriage. Zhu Yuanzhang's marriage is actually very similar to Liu Bang's marriage. However, Zhu Yuanzhang was extraordinarily brave and could lead troops to fight better than Liu Bang, so Guo Zixing married his adopted daughter to him. Zhu Yuanzhang, a potential stock, did not disappoint Guo Zixing and eventually destroyed the Yuan Dynasty.
After the establishment of the Ming Dynasty, the status of women was much higher than that of the previous dynasties, but women in the Ming and Qing Dynasties paid more attention to chastity. Ming Dynasty writer Zhang Mao said in "Preface to the Poems of Wu Jie's Wife": "Keep your chastity, do not lower your ambitions, do not humiliate your body, do not take away from you during important festivals, go through fire and water and feel at home." In the Ming and Qing dynasties, Pay more attention to the woman's chastity. Women regard chastity as equally important as life. In order not to disgrace themselves, they must preserve it even if they go through fire and water. Therefore, during the Ming and Qing Dynasties, women would not remarry even if their husbands died. If he never remarries and his son achieves academic status, he can ask the emperor to build a "chastity arch" for his mother.
Judging from the establishment of the "Chastity Arch", during the Ming and Qing Dynasties, there was no such thing as living together before marriage. If you have a "sexual" experience and spread it out, it will probably be difficult to get married. Of course, except for being a concubine, if it is a legitimate wife, it is simply impossible.
In the Ming and Qing dynasties, marriages were very particular about the right person, the parents’ orders, and the matchmaker’s words! In the past, when getting married, the "six etiquette" were required. During the Ming Dynasty, only three items were retained: "accepting money, accepting money, and personally welcoming". That is, the matchmaker carries geese to the door to propose marriage. If the matchmaker agrees, he will bring the bride price to the door to welcome the bride. Although, talking about "six rites" saves some links. But there are also questions about names and dates, but they are not so particular. In previous dynasties, small gifts were required at almost every step. Because a matchmaker cannot just go to the woman’s house empty-handed. Therefore, in the Ming and Qing dynasties, there were only fewer gifts, but some unnecessary steps were skipped.
When welcoming a bride, men ride horses and women sit in sedans. This custom slowly died out until the founding of New China. Since this scenario appears in many TV dramas, I won’t go into details here. In short, ancient weddings were slightly different in each dynasty, but they all followed the wedding customs of Zhou rites.
If you get married now, if you are introduced through a matchmaker, you also have to go through the matchmaking process. If both parties agree, they will get engaged. Engagement does not necessarily mean marriage. It is probably a buffer period. If you don't get along, you can regret the engagement. About half a year or a year, depending on the situation. If you want to get married, the man will ask the woman for her horoscopes, then ask for a date, and get married at the agreed time. The man goes to the woman's home to welcome the bride, and finally they go to the church to get married, and they become husband and wife. A major event in life has just happened.