Everyone can follow this book to perceive, accept and change, achieve a breakthrough in life, and cultivate a perfect self. Self-cultivation is a lifelong career!
Be serious about your own affairs. What can you do to be serious? Admitting that you are really like this is called being serious. It's not easy to do, and most people can't face their true selves.
The eight-character motto of Master Sheng Yan: Face, accept, deal with and let go. A person who does not face and accept himself has different body, mouth, heart and meaning, and his vitality is seriously depleted. How can he be serious? A person who is serious about life must be a person who completely accepts himself.
I "don't accept" others, and I must have "don't accept" myself. Only by taking others as a mirror will we slowly see our unacceptable parts of ourselves.
Most of them were self who were not accepted by others when they were children, and they could only hide. The deeper they hid, the deeper they were, so that they couldn't even see and recognize themselves. When others pointed them out, I tried my best to deny it.
reflection: what do I not accept about myself?
I can't accept other people's emotions, because I can't accept that I have emotions, because whenever my mother scolded me as a child, I couldn't have emotions and cry, and she would immediately let me hold back. Mother not only has to do housework, but also works in the fields. She is very tired and impatient, and she explodes as soon as she hears her child cry. Later, I felt that emotions were bad. I hid my emotions and couldn't see others having emotions at the same time.
I have made progress recently. Whenever my son is in a mood, I will accept it instead of frying pan. Son, just cry for a while. A person who can't express emotions well will hold back internal injuries to himself, and others don't know how to respond, which is not conducive to solving problems. Accept your own emotions and others' emotions.
I can't accept emotional feedback from others. I think it's a criticism, because I can't speak with emotions. When I was a child, my mother was in charge at home, and my mother ignored the children's human rights at all. Isn't that amazing? My mother was given away as a child, and my adoptive parents grew up with my grandmother, so their stomachs were not full. Because there was no food to eat, < P > It was not easy to marry my father early and raise four children. Now I find it difficult to raise one. Maybe she has done her best.
Everyone has emotions, accepts emotions, and emotions * * *, instead of hiding emotions and suppressing internal injuries, so as to live the life as it should be.
There is a book called "The Experiment of Surrender", in which the author Michael sees his thoughts through meditation, while the incessant self-talk is full of "likes and dislikes". These self-conversations and the emotions they evoke control her life and life, so he begins to practice acceptance, let go of his own likes and dislikes, and let life be the master. As a result, life brings him a satisfactory life.
Michael's story illustrates the formula of life avenue: awareness+acceptance+submission.
Reflection: Today, I also see some of my thoughts flooding my brain. Sometimes these thoughts will bring me all kinds of negative emotions, so I will accept them and return to mindfulness. I don't know what obedience is yet.
The success or failure of life is related to the word relationship. There are only two thoughts in the relationship: first, do I want to be with you, and second, do I want to be like you! I don't want to be with you, and the relationship is broken; I have to be with you, but I don't want to be as conflicted as you.
the meaning of life is really not "imagined", but only "lived". There is really nothing in life except living well.
reflection: do others want to be with me?
At present, from the circle of friends, I don't have great personality charm, but I'm not offensive. From the circle of relatives, I'm a prickly person. I speak bluntly, sometimes hurting people, lacking care and consideration for my relatives, going my own way, and rarely contacting my relatives on my own initiative. I seem to live in my own world and enjoy it, especially in the past two years.
I need to be softer inside and more sensitive to external things and people. Do others want to be like me? This still needs hard work!
We are often judging others or ourselves. Once negative emotions and mental judgments appear, people will be completely alienated from the present and fall into the dilemma of being at a loss, and their efficiency is extremely low.
When we let go of our judgment, accept ourselves and others completely, and submit to what is happening now, we are living in the present!
Reflection: I often judge others and myself. Sometimes when I drive into an individual car, I will say, What the hell! Emotions will follow, and you will also go to others. Sometimes when you see other people's shortcomings, you will not judge yourself.
whenever we get along with others, especially when both sides are emotional, we must never "step on the accelerator", but we must "step on the brake" and actively pause, so as to give ourselves a chance to "adjust" ourselves and return to the scene. This is 1% respect and 1% honesty! This is difficult, we are easily led away by emotions!
During the pause, take a deep breath to calm yourself down, stay with your body, notice where your emotional reaction is, and then gently put your hand on that part until you are completely relaxed.
reflection: I didn't have this kind of consciousness before. Every time I quarrel, I say a lot of angry words, which is too destructive to the relationship. It is simply a bombing self-destruction mode. Alas, I am afraid it is difficult to be happy without the ability to detect and solve problems.
Life needs wisdom. We usually sacrifice happiness in order to prove ourselves right. Only by letting go of the judgment of right and wrong can we accept what happened and face it better!
From today on, make an agreement with your child on a pause mechanism, set a pause point, and get into the habit of pause!
As the saying goes, love overflows. If a person doesn't know how to love himself, he is naturally incapable of loving others. I remember I understood this truth last year, but I still don't know how to love myself. Is it love to spend money on myself?
Buy yourself favorite food, favorite clothes, favorite books, spend money on travel, etc., but these can only bring temporary happiness, so how can you love yourself?
I think it's time to live the way I like. A person who doesn't like himself and doesn't even dare to look in the mirror, does he expect someone to like you?
A healthy body, a calm face, a poetic temperament in the abdomen, proper words and deeds, etc. are born of the heart. The key is to cultivate the heart, be ashamed, be kind and be grateful!
Some people are full of anxiety, some people are numb, and some people are full of resentment. These are all manifestations of not loving themselves.
Anger, complaint, jealousy, possession, comparison, arrogance, disguise, alienation, dependence, indifference and competitiveness all stem from not loving yourself.
I feel like a avalokitesvara bodhisattva after all these repairs. It's very human, ha. . .
The author thinks that loving oneself is the inevitable result of experiencing the ups and downs of life with complete awareness and willingness. If you can make yourself more satisfied and like yourself, it means you have done something right, otherwise you have done something wrong. Constantly correct yourself, love yourself more, and therefore love others more.
The source of anxiety has nothing to do with what situation you face, but only with your own thoughts. If you don't care what others think of you and don't want to control how things happen, there is no reason to be anxious.
whenever you feel that you are in an anxious state, first connect with your body, monitor which part of your body is uncomfortable or tense, and then calm down by breathing until your heart is calm.
at this time, ask yourself what you were thinking, what you were afraid of and what you wanted to control. Either act or put it down, there is no other way!
reflection: do I often feel anxious? I used to be, but now I seldom feel anxious. Once my mood is wrong, I will stop thinking, return to the present and keep mindfulness! It is only this year that we can maintain mindfulness.
Doudou, my best friend, recently told me that she slept with sleeping pills. I was surprised. Why? I don't have time to sleep when I study every day. I fall asleep when I fall into bed. If I can't sleep, I won't sleep.
Recently, she was fighting with her husband's family. She married the second generation of officials, and she wanted to sell a small house for a big one. Her husband and family disagreed, and she lost sleep for days because of this.
Alas, people's desires are insatiable and can never be satisfied. It's not worth damaging their health for these external things, but family disputes are trivial, fighting with each other, consuming life and meaningless.
Doudou is a person who doesn't love herself. On the surface, she is extravagant in buying clothes and cosmetics and thinks she loves herself. As a result, her face is full of anxiety.
She is sometimes anxious about her children's grades. Whose subject is the child's learning problem? The reason behind it is that she doesn't accept her children's inferiority or her own inferiority.
I used to be similar to her. I had insomnia for many days, and my face was full of anxiety and misfortune. Besides, it was always because of others, and I did nothing. This was self-inflicted, and I chose anxiety and misfortune myself!
People who really do great things must be willing, and the cultivation of willingness begins with the "unwillingness" behind every little thing. Seeing one's own unwillingness through small things and turning unwillingness into willingness is the key to the cultivation of willingness.
reflection: I don't want to clean and tidy up my room. After watching the parting, I slowly accepted cleaning and tidying up. It seems to be a trivial matter, but it actually reflects a person's living state and inner situation. Start with these little things, from unwilling to willing!
Always be willing to face everything that happens, open your heart and stay aware, and you will naturally be willing. Great wishes are not made, but with sincerity and willingness to bless each other, and finally become great.
reflection: in life, whenever there are emotions, there must be reluctance behind them, such as being angry because of traffic jams, being angry because of children's disobedience, being anxious because of being late for work, and being anxious because of old people's illness.
if you accept this matter in your mind, everything will be happy with the fate, and everything is the best arrangement, you will not be anxious or even angry.
I can accept all the emergencies in my life recently, so I feel peaceful and seldom get angry and mad. I don't worry about the child being punished by the teacher and forgetting to hand in his homework, because it is his homework, and it is good for him to suffer some setbacks.
sometimes I get a ticket, and I accept it. It's inevitable to drive every day. I'm not crazy about frequent traffic jams. I'll have some fun and look at the lovely car stickers in front of me and the advertisements around me.
what matters is not what happens, but what you interpret directly affects your words and deeds.
I've been listening to books recently, and I think that Mr. Fan's lectures are too funny. Sometimes he talks about the state of forgetting myself, and sometimes he feels helpless. The same knowledge point has been said many times, but the members still haven't changed. Mr. Fan can't wait to shout with a trumpet.
I will laugh when I listen to it. I used to feel distracted when I was listening to a book, and I rarely heard it. I still don't know what to say after listening. I guess my IQ is not online.
Recently, listening to books has been absorbed and internalized. I listen to several books in a series a day, and then I can master all the knowledge points. It is also interesting to look at modular knowledge from different perspectives, such as Confucius-related books, and to understand Confucius' life, educational thoughts and political aspirations in an all-round way after listening to them in one day.
Teacher Fan's book is grounded, which can be understood by all ages. It's amazing, and the master is nothing more than that! I think he not only has a wide range of knowledge, the key is that he is integrated with knowledge and action, and he is transparent!
Yang Lan's storytelling style is completely different from Fan Deng's. Yang's storytelling is something extracted after reading the author's series of books, which is equivalent to an album. The language is written, which is suitable for people with a higher education level and a certain knowledge background. The theme is biased towards women's growth and literature, art and poetry.
She is very familiar with her poems, and she can interpret works with an international perspective easily. She has the advantage. After all, she has been abroad for so many years, and her English is particularly good. She has great insight and judgment on current hot events! Yang's storytelling is suitable for women and less popular. It is still very beneficial to learn from the big coffees.
Excerpts from golden sentences:
Apart from living well, there is nothing else in life. Doing other things is much ado about nothing.
the way of education, love and example, nothing else! -froebel
not changing means not growing.
clinging to the truth is an obstacle to the growth of mind, career development and the fulfillment of life.
cultivating "willingness" is not only the way for enterprises to achieve the highest efficiency, but also the road to happiness in life.