Marriage forms: Folk marriages in Dingxi have been deeply influenced by traditional feudal ethics since ancient times. They are generally arranged marriages. Men are allowed to take concubines, but women are not allowed to remarry. In the past, there were many forms of marriage (now they are basically extinct). Mainly include:
Child bride marriage: that is, "child bride", or "little bride". Most of them are poor and unable to raise them, so they betroth their underage daughters to others, and most of the men are underage. When a woman goes to the man's house, her status is low. She basically "gets up when the rooster crows and is busy sweeping the yard and carrying water all day long." Her status will not change until she reaches adulthood and is officially married.
Young son-in-law marriage: The husband's family is rich but short of labor, so he asks someone to marry a girl of about 16 or 17 years old from a poor family to his younger son, which is called a younger son-in-law's marriage. Most of these marriages lead to tragedies.
Pulp marriage: Most of the two families get along well with each other, and the wife becomes pregnant at the same time. They meet as if they were giving birth to a boy and a girl. When they reach adulthood, the two people become husband and wife.
Cousin marriage: In order to continue the blood relationship, cousins ??or siblings get married at the discretion of their parents. Although this custom exists among the people, it is mostly denied because marriage between close relatives is not good for future generations.
Exchange marriage: also called exchange marriage. Because the man's family is poor or one of the parties has some physical defect, the two parties agree to betroth each other's daughters to each other, which is called "exchange of marriages." This custom still occurs today.
Cousin-in-law: commonly known as "stepping in the door", "getting married", "recruiting a son-in-law", or "recruiting a bride". In the old days, a son-in-law who came to the house was mostly looked down upon. Nowadays, a son-in-law who comes into the family is regarded as an honor and is protected by the law. Traditionally, the eldest son usually takes the mother's surname and "establishes his family in the family". The other children take the father's surname, and some also take the mother's or father's surname.
Transfer marriage: After a man or woman dies after marriage, the deceased’s brother, sister or sister renews the marriage, which is called transfer marriage. Most laypeople don't find this strange, and even approve of it.
Happy marriage: also called panic marriage. After the engagement, if the groom's parents or himself are seriously ill, the marriage will be completed in advance to "make the wedding happy" and wait for him to be healthy.
Recruiting a husband to support the husband: After marriage, if the husband becomes seriously ill or becomes disabled or paralyzed, the couple agrees to allow the wife to recruit another husband to maintain her livelihood. This custom is now extinct.
Gate-to-door marriage: The fiancé died before marriage. According to feudal ethics, a woman married a rooster and went to the church to get married. This is called a gate-to-door marriage. This custom has long been frowned upon and has now become extinct.
Dark marriage: also called "shadow marriage". After the engagement, if both the man and woman died before the marriage, the two families agreed to bury them together and become husband and wife in the "underworld".
Marriage: In the old days, both men and women had to follow the "six etiquette" rules. After the Revolution of 1911, although the etiquette was modified, the feudal etiquette system was still followed. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, a new marriage system was established, but it still took time to completely abolish the old etiquette. Dingxi people are accustomed to routine wedding procedures. Although there are differences due to different regions, they are basically the same.
Marriage age: In the old days, the age of marriage of the Han people was generally relatively young, with men aged 15-20 and women 15-18 years old. Wealthy people even married at an early age, and it was not uncommon to get married at the age of twelve or thirteen. After the implementation of the Marriage Law, the legal age limit is 20 years old for men and 18 years old for women. In 1981, the age limit was changed to 22 years old for men and 20 years old for women. Late marriage was advocated and the custom of early marriage was abolished. In the old days, wealthy families would have as many as two or three concubines, and some poor people would remain singles for the rest of their lives, but now they are all extinct.
Asking for a bride: that is, discussing marriage. In the old days, marriage between men and women was subject to "the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker." Relatives and friends first made the arrangements, and the parents chose the girl. After the selection, the man asked the matchmaker to prepare the marriage. The gift goes to the woman's house to ask for a match and enters the blind date stage. If the woman has never met and the man and woman meet each other, or the matchmaker takes the man to the woman's house to meet her, it is called "nacai". The woman agreed, and the man asked the matchmaker to ask the woman's family for her birthday and birth date, which was called "asking for a name." The birthdays and horoscopes of both men and women are written on red paper as "Geng Tie" (some places are abbreviated and only expressed verbally). The Yin and Yang masters calculate according to the principle of "five elements and eight trigrams, mutual generation and restraint", which is called "combined marriage" (also called "combined marriage"). "combined with the zodiac signs"). If the marriage goes smoothly, the man will notify the woman, which is called "Naji". If the marriage does not go well, the original gift will be returned and forfeited. Then, the man chooses an auspicious day, asks the matchmaker to formally inform the woman of the engagement time, and prepares for the wedding. During this period, if there is an accident in the family of both parties, such as broken dishes and cups, the death of livestock or illness of family members, etc., it will be considered unlucky and the marriage will not be possible, and the matchmaker will notify the other party to cancel the engagement.
Engagement: commonly known as "getting married" and "drinking". On the day of the engagement, the man's father, his son, and the matchmaker bring wine (2 bottles, tied with a red string), bride price, clothing materials, jewelry, four-color gifts (cakes, candies, tea) and other betrothal gifts (packed in boxes in some places). , or peach or dan), go to the woman's house to get engaged, this is called "nazheng". The woman's family prepares a banquet to entertain the guests and asks for a betrothal gift, commonly known as "asking for a betrothal gift." The man and woman discuss with the matchmaker to finally decide on the betrothal gift. Then the man and woman toast to their elders, relatives and friends at the banquet and change their names. The elders and relatives and friends give "red envelopes" to the man and woman. The amount of money depends on their financial status. Afterwards, we ate, drank, and left happily. When the man leaves, he should take back the two empty wine bottles he brought with him (with a little wine left in them), and the woman will put a little rice and noodles into the wine bottles, which means "rice-noodle couple". This is called "engagement" or engagement.
At this point, the marriage relationship is officially established.
After the engagement, during every festival (Spring Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival), the man will prepare gifts and go to the woman’s house to “send the festival” to show that the marriage is valid, commonly known as “chasing festivals”.
Marriage: commonly known as "welcoming the bride", also called "introducing a new wife". After the man asks Mr. Yin and Yang to determine the right time for marriage, the matchmaker will inform the girl's family. This is called "requesting the date." On the wedding day, both men and women's families will prepare a wedding banquet to entertain relatives and friends. The meal pattern depends on the actual financial situation of the host. Relatives, friends and neighbors all come to help, commonly known as "doing the work on behalf of others". When the wedding day is approaching, the groom's family will choose an auspicious day and go to the bride's family with the matchmaker to deliver betrothal gifts, which are commonly known as "return gifts", "gifts", and also called "Qing Dali". In some places, the groom's family also sends fabrics for trousers, called li Niang trousers. This kind of employment gift is more complicated for wealthy officials and wealthy families. They usually prepare a gift list. The groom's family regularly brings the bride's gift to the bride's family, along with 10 large steamed buns, two pieces of fresh meat and 12 candies, etc., which is called a "box". The bride's family sets up a square table in the courtyard, and puts incense cases and gifts on the table. The bride's family and nephews offer incense and worship, offering sacrifices to heaven and earth, which is called "hanging boxes." The gift list is opened, and relatives and guests are invited to visit. Then the woman presents a covered dumpling bowl to the guests of the man's family and eats it, which is called "tasting the soup." The woman's family also holds a banquet for the guests. This old ritual is now extinct. Finally agree on the wedding date.
Sending a girl off to get married is called "faluo" or "sent away". The day before the wedding, the groom's family goes to the bride's family to have a "settle banquet" (also called "talking") to further confirm the number of relatives and related matters. The girl's family entertains relatives and neighbors who come to send congratulatory gifts on this day. Relatives and neighbors send congratulatory gifts called "Tianxiang". In the old days, the bride's family would give the bride a pair of crates or a four-corner cabinet. After entering the 1980s, large wardrobes, desks, speakers, TVs, washing machines, refrigerators, etc. were included, and there was no fixed number of modern furniture. On this day, it is necessary to determine the personnel of the send-off team and select a female family member with a complete family of children and similar zodiac signs as the "bridesmaid", that is, the "groomswoman". The groom selects one male and female with both children and good zodiac signs (remarriage is not allowed) as the "brother-in-law", and selects a male young man to lead the bride's donkey. Accompanied by the matchmaker, the groom, the groom's uncle and his brother each have one There are 1 person carrying the suitcase to form a welcoming team, (an odd number of 5 or 7 people is used to take away the meaning of single and even,) and bring gifts. Although there are differences in different places, they are basically two bottles of wine, two pieces of meat, and candies. Snacks, 10 large steamed buns, "needle money" (called "thank you", "liang money", "caimen money" in some places) and pocket money (commonly known as "joking money") and some red envelopes, then went to the girl's house Welcome. In some places, the natal family keeps their doors closed, asks for red envelopes from the bride, throws water on them, hides things, and makes fun of them. In the past, when welcoming a bride, both men and women would prepare a sedan, a car, a donkey, or a horse (no mules), depending on the road conditions. Nowadays, cars are mostly used in towns and tricycles are used in rural areas. Due to different economic conditions, the gap is getting wider, and those who pay attention to the level of pomp and circumstance The higher you go, the more vehicles there are and the trend of comparison flourishes.
When the wedding team arrives at the bride's house, they first burn incense and pay homage to their ancestors, then place the gifts on the table, toast the bride's elders, and use "thank you" money to repay the bride for her kindness in raising a daughter. Immediately, the wedding guests had a banquet, and after the banquet, they were ready to set off. In the old days, the bride's groomsmen dressed the bride's hair (that is, combing the bride's braid into a bun). The bride wore a corset, a hijab on her head, a "heart mirror" on her chest, and a "Lian Lian Shu" (Geng Tie) in her arms. This custom is now abolished. The woman chooses relatives to pack the dowry items in a box, which is commonly known as "boxing" or "dowry placement", which means to praise the dowry.
When the bride leaves home, it is traditional for her elder brother to carry her on the sedan (horse or donkey). The bride will cry, which is called "crying marriage" (sometimes called "driving away evil spirits"). It means that she can't bear to leave her parents; when the bride leaves, she throws a pair of red chopsticks at the gate (in some places, two red chopsticks are thrown in each hand inside and outside the gate). OK. When the sedan chair (horse or donkey) passes a fork in the road, a temple, a large stone or a large building, it used to be pasted with a small strip of red paper or the words "Have a safe journey" or "Avoid evil spirits" on it. "Road stickers" such as "Road stickers" are used for good luck. Nowadays, vehicles are mostly used, and this custom is rarely seen.
When the sedan arrives in front of the groom’s house, he must get off the sedan in the direction of the God of Happiness that day, and then go around the sedan and blast off firecrackers. Before the bride dismounts from the horse (bridge or car), in some places, she must first receive the "treasure vase", fill it with rice, insert a pair of red chopsticks, and wrap it with red cloth. After the wedding, it will be cooked into gruel and eaten by the new couple, which means "Peace and safety"; chopsticks take "give birth to a precious son soon". This custom has been abolished. Sending a child to ask for a red envelope is called "sedan money". After the bride dismounts, she is supported by the bridesmaid and walks slowly on the red carpet (you can also use red cloth instead) spread on the ground floor. In the old days, guests were invited to perform the "Welcoming Red Ceremony" by stringing red felts together in front of the incense table set up in the courtyard. On the incense table, they placed fragrant wax, a liter (also called a bucket) full of wheat, a magic tablet, a scale, and a mirror hanging on the scale. , rulers, scissors and red cloth strips and other evil-proof objects, tie copper coins at both ends of the red string and place them in two wine glasses to hold a worship ceremony, commonly known as "worship to heaven and earth" (now held in the living room). They worship heaven and earth, parents and the newlyweds in sequence. , eat "Hexin rice", "drink a glass of wine", and perform the ceremony of Hexin (this custom has been simplified in many cases now). Then the bride and groom step on the red felt, carry a wheat bucket (commonly known as a "full bucket") into the bridal chamber, and place the wheat bucket on the kang in the God of Joy position. The bride puts the breast mirror in the bucket and sits facing each other, and the groom uses a weighing rod. (or rolling stick) pick off the bride's "hijab". Now abolished. At this time, the man's family holds a banquet to entertain the bride's family members (respected guests), and smokes are thrown in honor. Suonas often play festive music in the wedding procession, and drums and drums compete during the banquet, which is very lively. Those who see off their relatives must leave the groom's house before noon.
In some places, the groom's family has to pay the sender to redeem the key to the dowry box (cabinet). Before leaving, the groom's family sets up a wine table in front of the gate, puts wine and flower buns on it, and pours wine from large cups. The groom's family gives relatives a guessing toast one by one, and the loser drinks, and asks the distinguished guests to each take a flower. Several steamed buns. The person sending off the bride must go to the bridal chamber to see the bride say goodbye before leaving the house. All the people who came to congratulate the bride and groom were toasted one by one during the banquet. Young people make trouble in the bridal chamber, commonly known as "禳房" or "bridal chamber". They pose problems to the newlyweds and play with them. They push, pull, hold, and touch in new ways. The bride tries her best to avoid and deal with it, and the trouble ends late at night. Then, the bed in the new house will be warmed, which is called "consummation". The host will sweep the bed and scatter walnuts and dates on the kang, which means "harmony (nuclear) energy" and "early birth of a precious child", and chant "double walnuts" "Double dates, all the babies running around the yard". Then the newlyweds went to bed, and the "eternal lamp" in the new house was on all night long. Some young people with good intentions leaned out of the window and eavesdropped on the newlyweds, which is commonly known as "listening to the roots of the wall". Some people on that day or the next day On the day, the bride cooks "testing hands noodles" (testing knife noodles) to entertain relatives and friends. The next day, the groom's family must prepare a separate banquet to entertain relatives, friends and neighbors who helped during the wedding. ”.
First marriage: On the morning after the wedding, the newlyweds get up early to worship their ancestors, visit their parents and relatives. This is the occasion for the bride and family members to formally meet. On the next day, the bride’s family members also meet They go to the bridegroom's house with a meal to congratulate her, and the groom's family also invites relatives to congratulate them and confirm their relationship. This is commonly known as "visiting the bride". On the third day, the couple prepares gifts and returns to their parents' home for a visit. Returning to pay homage to the parents-in-law, uncles and nephews on the same day is commonly known as "returning to the mother's home". This is the first time after the wedding that the bride's family pays homage to her son-in-law, and the newlyweds return as soon as possible after receiving the reception. In the next ten days, the bride returns to her natal family for a short stay, which is commonly known as "transfer to her natal family". She stays for eight or nine days and returns to her husband's family. However, in some places, one month after the wedding, the bride goes to her natal family to stay, which is commonly known as "Zhan Dui". "Moon", "turn to the moon", but usually return a few days in advance to show respect for the parents-in-law and elders.
Many of the above-mentioned wedding customs have been modified today. Although they continue in rural areas, most of them abandon the tradition The old customs may be simplified and accommodated; there are new things and new arrangements for weddings of men and women in urban areas, changing customs, or collective weddings, or huge betrothal gifts, high-end furniture, fashionable dowries, grand weddings, first-class banquets, rich ladies, the so-called new "six The trend of "kowtowing" has become popular in recent years, but it is not widely popular.
On the second day of the first lunar month after the wedding, the newlyweds go to the bride's house to pay New Year's greetings, which is called "kowtowing" or "paying New Year's greetings" In some places, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not allowed to meet each other on the 15th day of the first lunar month, which is called "avoiding the lamp". Otherwise, it is superstitious that the mother-in-law will go blind.
Remarry: In the old days, men were superior to women, and if a man lost his wife, he could remarry; if a woman lost her husband and did not remarry, it was called "keeping integrity". Therefore, it was common for young women to remain widowed for the rest of their lives after their husbands died and remarried, and their husbands' families often demanded extremely harsh gifts. "Selling widows". Some are kidnapped and taken away in the middle of the night, which is called "widow snatching". After the founding of the People's Republic of China, men and women were equal. Today, many people do not abide by this rule, and remarriage is protected by law. It is now more common, especially among women. For the elderly, men and women find each other to form a family, and "sunset red" has become a fashion.
Funeral
Han Chinese style: caring for the elderly and caring for the future, which is not only the bounden duty of the son of man, but also the family. Important events. Funerals in Dingxi have always followed the practice of burial in wooden coffins. Since the 1970s, national officials have been cremated. The customs and funeral rituals generally depend on the family situation and the age and identity of the deceased. Different.
In the old days, if a baby died under a month old, he would burn it in a kang hole. When a baby under the age of 2 died, the villagers rolled the body in firewood, put it in a bucket, put it on a fire in a remote ditch, and then abandoned it. For those over 12 years old, no auspicious place will be chosen after death, and the body will only be buried in a remote place in the wild. For unmarried people over 12 years old, a simple wooden box can be made to contain the corpse and be buried in the fields or in the wild hills. Married men and women with children who died in a normal manner can have funeral ceremonies in their sleeping quarters or sleeping chambers at home, and can be buried in ancestral graves. Other abnormal deaths, such as jumping off a cliff, drowning in a river, falling into a well, taking poison, hanging, dystocia, suicide, homicide, car accident, etc., can only be buried in a side room of the house for funeral purposes; those who die outside the house can only be buried in a room or kiln outside the house. A tent may be set up to hold a funeral, and no one is allowed to enter the ancestral tomb. Even if the person dies normally, he or she who dies outside the house will not enter the main or (inner) bedroom of the house to hold the funeral ceremony. Therefore, people who are critically ill should try their best to get home and sleep properly.
When an old man dies, the funeral customs and funeral rituals in Dingxi (which are similar in various places) are grand and complicated, solemn and solemn due to the influence of traditional culture, feudal ethics and court etiquette, forming unique local characteristics. funeral culture.
The weather in Dingxi will not be too cold: But this winter is not very cold so far, and it will definitely be cold during the New Year. The lowest temperature in Dingxi is -8 degrees.
The rules of getting married are very different from those in Tianjin. First of all, Dingxi gets married at noon while Tianjin gets married in the afternoon. Generally, a gift (minimum of 30,000 yuan) needs to be given to the woman. Other customs are basically the same.