"Amazing People in the World": Blue Eyes
There are natural enemies in the antique shop, those who make fake paintings and those who look at fake paintings. The person who forged the painting worked hard and tried every trick in order to deceive the sharp and cunning eyes of those who looked at the fake painting; but the person who looked at the fake painting used these eyes to see through the secrets and tricks, and took advantage of the forgery. The guy didn't hide the tip of his tail well, so he stretched it out from a pile of paintings and left it to dry in broad daylight.
The name of this fake painting is Blue Eyes. Works at Yuchengong antique shop on Guodian Street, specializing in looking at paintings. Lan Yan's surname is not Lan, his surname is Jiang, his original name is Zaitang, and Lan Yan is his nickname. Tianjin people are fond of nicknames, firstly because they are easy to call and secondly because they are easy to remember. The blue eyes came from his myopia glasses. The lenses were as thick as the bottom of a bottle and were bluish in color. They looked like a pair of blue eyes. And the key to these blue eyes lies in his eyes. It is said that when he turns off the light and looks at a painting, he can tell whether it is true or false; although his words are a bit mysterious, he is capable of not adulterating them. His blue eyes are really magical when looking at paintings - when looking at fake paintings, his eyes are dull; when looking at real paintings, there is a blue light.
On this day, a man dressed as a student came to the shop, holding a scroll in his hand. The inscription outside said "Spring Colors of Lake Dadizi". Blue Eyes didn't seem to notice it. He knew that no matter what was written on the inscription, it would not count. The authenticity had to be determined by the painting. He pulled it out as fast as lightning, revealing a half-foot-long painted heart. This is Lan Yan's famous "half-foot work". He only sees half-foot paintings no matter how big or small they are. Whether it is true or false, let this half-foot painting speak for itself, and never look at an inch more. Facing the half-foot painting with blue eyes, a blue light flashed across the ground of his spectacles. He raised his head and asked the visitor:
"How much do you plan to sell it for?"
The visitor was not in a hurry. Instead of asking for a price, he said:
"I heard that Mr. Huang from Xitou also copied this painting."
Mr. Huang is the number one master of fake paintings in Jinmen. . Everyone in the antique shop was afraid of him. Unexpectedly, Lanyan Tingsai didn't listen and said again:
"I have never seen Mr. Huang in my eyes. Tell me how much you plan to sell this painting for."
"Two." said the visitor. These two items are twenty taels of gold.
The asking price was neither low nor too high. After a little push from both sides, the deal was concluded at eighteen taels.
From that day on, the antique shops in Jinmen all said that Mr. Yu Chenggong on Guodian Street bought a large polyester landscape painting by Shi Tao. The ink was light crimson, extremely green, and there were large sections on it. Inscriptions and postscripts are especially rare. Some people say that this thing was brought out of a certain prince's palace in Beijing. The person who came to sell paintings was not very knowledgeable, but Blue Eyes caught him right. Spend a lot of money and get better stuff. Such a sophisticated man has not appeared in Tianjin’s antique shops in ten years. There were no newspapers at that time, and the mouth was the media. The more you talked, the better it became, and the more it spread. There are always people coming to see the paintings one after another, and Yucheng Gong has almost become a silk and satin shop.
After talking about the things in the world, let’s talk about the other. About three months after the incident, some people began to say that Mr. Yucheng's large canvas was unreliable. It was quite scary at first glance, but after watching it a few times, it became thin and watery, and I lost my energy. The difference between true and false paintings is that true paintings can withstand looking at them, while fake paintings cannot stand looking at them. After this word spread, news came out - some people said that this painting was a fake made by Mr. Huang Sanye of Xitou! Isn't this the same as pouring a basin of dirty water on someone's blue-eyed robe?
Blue eyes have roots and ignore reason. The more you ignore it, the more mysterious it becomes. Later it was said that he had a nose and eyes. It is said that someone saw the authentic scroll painting at a house on Zhenshi Street. So, one after another, people went to Yu Chenggong's antique shop to look at paintings, but this time they wanted to see how Huang Sanye could blindfold his blue eyes. It's always the most amazing thing when a capable person stumbles!
Mr. Tong Wu, the boss of Yucheng Gong, felt a little embarrassed, so he said to Lan Yan: "I believe in your eyesight, but I can't stand the gossip outside, which makes our shop noisy all day long. Are we? Find someone to ask where the painting is. If there is an identical painting, try to show it to distinguish the authenticity from the fake. "
Blue Eyes can tell that the boss has no idea. No one can do anything about gossip, unless they do what the boss says and expose both the truth and the lies. Others are making trouble in the dark, but you win in the open.
Boss Tong called You Xiaowu. You Xiaowu is a ground rat in Tianjin Wei. He crawls everywhere and can touch everything with his ears. They sent You Xiaowu to inquire, and the next day there was news. It turns out that there really is another large painting, also called "Spring Colors of the Lake and Sky", and it really is located in the house of a person named Cui on Zhenshi Street! Neither Boss Tong nor Lan Yan knew who the Cui family was. Boss Tong asked You Xiaowu to take a look with his blue eyes. Blue Eyes had to go there. When I got there, I saw two blue lights flashing through my spectacle lenses. I was so stupid!
The real painting turned out to be this one. The one in the shop is fake! The two paintings are all the same in size, color, and appearance, and even the seals are imitations. But the air is different - look, this one is really airy!
I have no idea how he got the eyes in the first place. Facing this painting now, I really want to crawl into the ground. He had seen one for twenty years without fail. His blue eyes have become a god in the antique shop. When he says the truth, it must be true, and when he says lies, he must be true, and no one will believe him. But this time, if the news spread out, it would be ruined. In the business of looking at real and fake paintings, you should spend your whole life looking at the right one. If you look at the wrong painting, you will fall into trouble.
He said nothing. I went back to the store and told the boss the truth.
Mr. Yucheng and Lan Yan are connected together, and they will be defeated. Boss Tong thought about it all night. I had an idea and decided to buy the Cui family's big clothes, and I didn't hesitate to spend a lot of money. With both paintings in hand, it’s up to you to decide which one is true and which one is false. But they must not show up to do this, so they spent money to hire someone to pretend to be the buyer and follow You Xiaowu to Cui's house to buy the scroll painting. Who would have thought that someone with the surname Cui would be worth a fortune. Otherwise, keep it for yourself and not sell it. When buying something, you are afraid that you will not buy it but will not sell it at the same time. But he pretended to be the buyer, because when he came, Boss Huang said to him, "Even if you destroy my shop, you still have to buy the painting for me." He gave in again and again, and finally spent seven gold pieces to buy it, which was more than twice as much as the shaft he bought before.
When the scroll painting was brought to Yucheng Gong, Boss Tong was relieved. Although he felt sorry for the money, he kept the Yucheng Gong brand. He asked the guys to hang the two scrolls side by side on the wall so that they could have a clear look. After the painting was hung up, Blue Eyes stepped forward to take a look, and three rays of light flashed through his spectacle lenses. The man actually stood there with a stick in his hand. Everything was going well, but a strange thing happened right before our eyes - it turned out that the previous painting was real, but the one I just bought was fake!
If you don’t compare the real and fake paintings together, you can’t tell the real ones from the fake ones. This is the ability of people to make fake paintings, and it is also the most superb skill!
But what kind of eyes do blue eyes have? Belly button?
Blue eyes almost closed in one breath. After three days, he went through everything and realized that all of this was a trap set by Mr. Huang in the dark. Let me get you in step by step. Real paintings can be sold at no loss, while fake paintings can be sold at sky-high prices. He suddenly remembered that the first person who came to sell the painting, dressed as a scholar, had told him, "Sanye Huang also copied this painting," didn't he? People have something to say and have already made it clear whether this painting is true or false. Who can I blame? It seems that this Mr. Huang is not only here for the money, but also for himself. People tell you to keep real paintings in your hands, and then buy fake paintings they made. What a wonder! Only when he understands this level can he finally understand and accept his defeat to the end! From now on, Lan Yan rolled up the fujuan'er and left Mr. Yucheng. Since then, not only has Tianjin antiques been sold under his name, but his shadow has also disappeared from the ground in Tianjin. Some people said that he was seriously ill and he lay down and never got up again. It was such a misfortune!
Thinking about it again, he has something even worse - he was defeated by Mr. Huang, but he only saw Mr. Huang's handiwork, and he never saw his face!
Fortunately, he finally thought of Mr. Huang’s trick. A clear death.
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8 "Strange People in the World" : Dead Bird
People in Tianjin Wei are fond of joking, so they often have nicknames. Some people's nicknames are called to their faces, while others' nicknames can only be said behind their backs. It all depends on where the nickname came from. Whenever there is a nickname, there must be a funny story; but stories are different from each other. Some stories can be told casually as jokes, while others cannot be told randomly; for example, the various nicknames of He Daotai - Dead Bird.
He Daotai looks ordinary, just like a piglet. But the real person does not show his face, and his ability is hidden in secret. He has two abilities: one is to serve the boss, and the other is to serve the birds.
Serving your boss is a very special job. It's useless to follow your boss's butt all day long. If you follow too slowly, you won't be able to get ahead when something happens, which will make your boss anxious; if you follow too closely, you might step on your boss's heel, which will annoy your boss. And it’s not enough to just follow behind like a racing puppy. You must also be good at observing words and emotions, understand your boss's temperament, and know when to say something and when not to say something; be submissive when being disciplined, and nod in agreement when being scolded. When your boss scolds you, it's not necessarily your fault. Sometimes it's just the boss showing off his power and feeling comfortable. If you lose your temper, frown and curl your lips, showing annoyance, then ask your boss to remember it. From then on, Guan'er did not become bigger and bigger, but became smaller and smaller - He Daotai was able to do this kind of thing easily and naturally. People say that all these abilities of He Daotai come from his nature. They say that he was born to be a trap for his superiors. He is a docile donkey who can't kick him with three legs, right?
After talking about him serving the boss, let’s talk about him serving the birds.
The matter of waiting on birds is another merit. Don't think that if you put a bird in a cage, put some rice, give it some worms, and add some water, it can jump up and down. A bird has a bird's habit, almost closing its eyes, trimming its feathers, and drooping its wings; a bird has a bird's temperament. If it doesn't follow it, it won't sing or cry, and it won't move. It's almost as if it's alive or dead. People say that people on the congratulatory platform must be birds all their lives. He knew everything about birds, no matter what kind of bird they were, after being manipulated by his little chubby hands, their hair was bright and lively, and their voices were as good as the Mao Dan who sang Luozi in Tianfu Tea Garden.
On the day after the beginning of summer during the Chinese New Year, Mr. Lin, who worked in Changguan, came back from his hometown in Changzhou, Jiangsu Province for a vacation and brought him a myna. This myna has a big belly, thick legs and strong claws, a black body, and a golden mouth. When he calls, he can be heard clearly even standing on the street. He Daotai said happily: "The rooster's voice is not as loud as the rooster's.
"
Mr. Lin smiled and said: "It's just that I'm not good at learning how to speak. It is always difficult to learn. No matter how much you teach him, he can't learn it, but sometimes if he doesn't pay attention, he will learn it. However, once it's in your hands, it's guaranteed to be promising. "
He Daotai also smiled. He said: "In three months, I will teach it to speak allegro. "
However, this myna is like a fierce horse, which is extremely difficult to tame. He Daotai tried his best, but it couldn't learn it. He Daotai scolded it: "Stupid bird. "The next day, it kept calling "stupid bird" all day long. I told it to stop, but it didn't stop. I could hear it clearly in the front and back yards, and I couldn't even take a nap. He Daotai sealed the cage tightly with a cover. After covering it for a long time, it stopped barking. In the evening, my wife was afraid that it would be suffocated, so she asked the maid to take off the cover. When it appeared, it said to my wife, "Does she have heat rash?" "The wife was shocked. Thinking about it again, wasn't this what the master said to her a few days ago? She accidentally learned it. It made the wife giggle for a long time. When He Daotai came back, he said to the master . Before she could ask Bago to say it again, Bago himself said: "My wife has heat rash!" "
He Daotai was so amused that he grinned and said, "This thing even imitates my voice. "
The wife said: "I didn't expect this bad thing to be so smart. "
Since then, He Daotai has taken special care of it. As time goes by, it has learned a few words such as "Greetings to your Excellency", "Please take a seat", "You are ready to go" It's just not easy to say something like that. However, it suddenly said a few words like "prickly heat" that the master and his wife usually said, which made the guests laugh.
The Lord Magistrate said: "Master He, we can see how smart you are from it. "
He Daotai was proud of the bird, and even more proud of himself. I will not mention this for the time being.
On the ninth day of September, the Jade Emperor Pavilion outside the East City "Saved Nine" As usual, the people of Jinmen went to climb the pavilion, commonly known as Jiujiu Climb. At this time, the sky was high and the air was refreshing. When I climbed up and looked up, I felt comfortable and there were no obstacles. On this day, Yulu, the governor of Zhili, also came to the Yuhuang Pavilion. He was in a very good mood. , Climbing up the narrow and steep stairs to the Qingxu Pavilion at the top. All the civil and military officials who came with him ran forward and backward to cheer him up. Naturally, He Daotai was among them. The shadows of sailboats passing by on the estuary and some interesting words made Mr. Yulu's heart become happy. After coming down from the pavilion, He Daotai said that his home was not far away and he hoped that Mr. Yu would pay him a favor and come to his house. Sit down. Mr. Yu would never condescend to be a guest at his subordinate's home, but today he was in high spirits and agreed. p>
He Daotai's starling cage is hung in front of the living room window. As soon as Mr. Yu enters the door, it calls: "Greetings, sir." "The sound was loud and loud, reaching into Yulu's ears.
Mr. Yu became more and more cheerful and said: "This thing is actually more intelligent than a human being. "
He Daotai responded and said, "It's not because the Lord is here. No matter how much I ask it to speak, it refuses to speak. "
When the tea was served, Myna suddenly shouted again: "This tea is Mingqian tea." "
Mr. Yu was startled, turned to the myna in the cage and said, "This is your fault. What time is it now? Where can I find Mingqian tea? "
The boss joked, and the subordinates laughed. The laughter filled the living room, and they all laughed at Bago for being a fool.
He Daotai said: "Your Excellency really hit the point. Actually, I didn’t teach you this. This thing always pops up from time to time, and I don’t know where it comes from. "
The prefect said with a smile: "It's not like the speaker doesn't mean it, but the listener does it with intention. Master He must have always drank good tea. He has memorized all the tea names! "
Yu Lu smiled and said: "If you have any good tea, please Yu Lu and I can try it. "
Everyone laughed again. But when Starling heard the word "Yu Lu", his wings suddenly fluttered, and all the black hair on his body rose up. He was so angry that he shouted loudly and loudly: "Yu Lu" Luca bastard! "
Everyone in the hall was stunned. In fact, everyone heard this sentence. At a moment of shock, the myna said again: "That bastard Yulu! "Said clearly and simply. Yulu suddenly flicked his hand, knocked all the tea bowls on the table to the ground, and shouted angrily: "How presumptuous! "
He Daotai hurriedly lay on the ground, his voice trembling so hard that he could hardly hear it: "This is not what I taught it---" At this point, he unconsciously got stuck. He thought, Bago's This is exactly what he said when he got angry at Yulu. Why did he remember it? Wouldn't it kill him?
When he understood, Yulu and the officials had left, and he was still lying on the floor in the living room. He suddenly jumped up and rushed towards the myna, shouting: "You destroyed me!" I'll tear you apart, you dead bird! "
He grabbed the cage with both hands and pulled it with too much force. The cage tore apart and the bird flew out, but he couldn't catch it. The starling flew out through the window and landed on the tree.
He actually understood what He Daotai just said and shouted to him: "Dead bird!"
He Daotai asked the servants to beat them with poles, chop them with bricks, climb up trees and catch them, mynas. It jumped back and forth on the top of the tree for a while, and kept shouting: "Dead bird! Dead bird! Dead bird!" Finally it flapped its wings and flew away, and soon disappeared without a trace.
Since then, He Daotai has been nicknamed "Dead Bird". And when people pass this nickname around, it always comes with this story.
Author: Hu Wei 2004-6-4 20:15 Reply to this statement
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10 Reply: Feng Jicai from "The Strange Man in the World"! Interested students come and take a look!
"Wonderful People in the World": The Wine Lady
Taverns are also divided into three, six or nine levels. The tavern on Shoushan Street must be considered the last one. There is no pretense, no name, and there are no seats in the room; no vegetables are sold on the counter, just a vat of wine. Those who come to drink are all low-class people who work hard as laborers and carts. Some hold a piece of soy sausage in their hands, and some carry a handful of spiced peanuts in their pockets. They ask for two or three taels of peanuts when they come in, and they drink alone against the corner window sill. When there are crowds of people, I carry the wine bowl outside the door, stand against a tree, and pour the wine into my mouth little by little. This is called satisfying and endless fun!
This tavern only sells one kind of wine, which is made from dried potato. It is cheap and has a strong taste. The cats raised on Shoushan Street are never lost. If they get lost, they will be found by following the smell of alcohol. This wine doesn't care about the aftertaste, it only cares about the punch, and the mouth is full of water. You have to swallow it quickly, otherwise your tongue, mouth, teeth, and throat will be burned. But as soon as it fell into the stomach, a burst of energy jumped up from the hand, hitting the head directly, making me dizzy, and the energy was very strong. The kind of firecrackers that are set off on the eve of the competition are called "cannons and lanterns". When they are lit, they explode and the red light shoots into the sky. This wine is called "Pao Ding Lan". Good wine should be warm and long-lasting, never overpowering. But poor men earn a living, their muscles and bones are weak, and their hearts are depressed. Isn't it just to spend a little money, get excited immediately, and be free and easy and indulgent?
The most free and easy person is the wine woman. Every day at noon, this old woman comes to the tavern. She is dressed in rags and looks like a beggar. Her hair is messy and her face is gloomy. No one can tell her face clearly, and no one knows her last name, but everyone knows that she is this little girl. The number one drunkard in the tavern is honored as the drunkard. As soon as she entered the door, she took out a small square cloth bag from her arms as usual, opened the cloth bag, and inside was a newspaper bag. The newspapers were sometimes new and sometimes old. When she opened the newspaper bag, she found another tissue paper bag. Fortunately, there was an emerald inside. Pin; when she opened the tissue paper bag again, it turned out that it was only two cents. She took the money and put it on the counter. The boss handed over half a bowl of "cannon lamp" as usual. She took the wine bowl, raised her hand and neck, and turned the bottom of the bowl over. The wine fell straight into his stomach, and he poured it into the barrel. As soon as the woman's feet reached the threshold, she would race on the ground to draw the heavenly book.
She staggered all the way to the north, and walked out of the boundary more than a hundred steps away. It was a crossroads, with cars coming and going, and accidents often happened. Don't worry about this woman, she is so drunk, but every time she reaches the intersection, she will wake up with a "bang", and she will be like a normal person, without the slightest hint of drunkenness, and she will walk across the street calmly. . She does this every day and never makes a mistake. People on Shoushan Street love to watch the drunken drunken twists and turns of the drunken woman - swinging up and down, leaning left and right, spinning leisurely and happily, as if the wind is swinging lotus leaves; on rainy days, the raindrops are drenched on the body , just like a slowly rotating big umbrella... But why does the wine woman's drunkenness disappear as soon as she reaches the intersection? Is it because "cannons and lights" only have so little energy, or is it because the wine woman has a superhuman ability to get drunk and wake up whenever she wants?
The secret to wine is still in the wine vat. The boss is raped and adds water to the wine. Drunkards have a blurred view of the world in their eyes, but they are clear about the wine in their stomachs, but no one is willing to pierce this layer of paper, and forget it if they drink well. If the boss is evil, he will be punished. He is nearly 60 years old and has no children, and there is a high probability that he will not have any offspring. But one day, the proprietress loved sour and spicy food, and she was actually happy. When the boss kowtowed to the Buddha, he moved his conscience and vowed to be an honest person from now on, sell wine honestly, and never adulterate the wine again.
On this day, the wine woman came to this tavern. As usual, she took out her bag, opened it layer by layer, spent money to buy wine, raised her hands and neck, and changed the fake into the real thing." "Pour the cannon lamp into your stomach...the real thing is the real thing." This time, people started wandering around before the drunkard even left the house. And today she was swaying particularly beautifully along the way, her upper body swaying to the left, her lower body swaying to the right, faster and faster. At first she was like a roc in the wind, and later she was like a big black whirlpool. People on Shoushan Street could see it. Surprised and puzzled, before thinking too much, the drunkard had arrived at the intersection, but she was not sober. She wandered onto the road for the first time, and there was no need to mention the tragedy below...
Since Since then, the wine woman has disappeared from this street. People in the tavern talked about her from time to time. She is said to be a truly qualified alcoholic. When she drinks, she doesn't just drink the food, but drinks it all in one gulp as usual. She is not greedy to satisfy her greed, but just wants to drink more. There was nothing much going on in the tavern, and there was no gossip. I paid for the drink and left after drinking. I never took credit. Real drunkards enjoy themselves and do not disturb others.
As the boss listened, he suddenly thought that the day the wine woman had an accident was the day he stopped adulterating the wine, wasn't it? It turned out that the cause of the disaster was himself, so he turned away, thinking that the truth in this world was really unclear. Is it wrong to lie or to be honest? Why else would it be possible to deceive people with fake wine for decades, but everything was fine, and they drank beautifully, but then it was ruined once they got serious?
Author: Hu Wei 2004-6-4 20:16 Reply to this statement
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11 Reply: Feng Jicai from "The Strange Man in the World"! Interested students come and take a look!
"Fantastic People in the World": Zhang Dali
Zhang Dali, whose original name was Zhang Jinbi, was a fierce martial artist in Jinmen. He was very powerful and his strength was boundless, so he was called Dali. The old and young men in Jinmen like him, admire him, and praise him. But Tianjin people have their own way of praising others. There was such an incident about Zhang Dali. No one knew about it at the time, and no one knows about it now, so I write it down below -
There is a stone shop behind the Hou family called Jucheng. There is a large, heavy bluestone lock at the gate, and the lock handle is also made of stone. There is a line of words engraved on the lock:
Anyone who lifts this lock will be rewarded with a hundred taels of silver
The stone lock was assembled to prove that the stones are solid and durable. .
However, the stone lock is left here. No one has lifted it, and no one can even make it move a little. How much do you think it weighs? Well, it's connected to the earth's crust, unless you lift the ground above your head!
One day, after Zhang Dali came to Hou's house, he saw the lock and the words on it. He leaned down and asked about it with his hands. He shook it lightly and it started to shake. Shaking a bamboo basket attracted many people to come and watch. I saw him holding the handle of the lock, and with a straightening of his waist, he easily lifted the big stone lock into the air. The arms are straight and unbent, the face is smiling, and Haosai is holding a lot of flowers!
Everyone cheered and cheered. Zhang Dali held up the stone lock without putting it down. He waited until all the assembled clerks and bosses came out and had a clear look before placing the stone lock back in place. The boss came up and said with a smile:
"So Teacher Zhang is here, please come and sit inside and have a cup of tea!"
Zhang Dali heard this and said seriously: "Boss, you Don't let me get you this set of stone locks. It says, "Whoever lifts it will be rewarded with a hundred taels of silver. Please bring the money quickly. I'm still busy!"
Who knows? The boss ignored Zhang Dali’s words. After Zhang Dali finished speaking, he said calmly: "Teacher Zhang, you only saw the words on the top of the stone lock, but there is another line of words under the stone lock. Did you see it?"
Zhang Dali Startled. I was just so happy that I didn't see any words under the lock. Not only did he not see it, but neither did anyone else. Zhang Dali thought for a while and thought that the boss was bluffing him and he didn't want to give him money. He thought he had tried hard once and couldn't lift it the second time, so he went up and lifted the stone lock high above his head, but he raised his eyes. At first glance, there is actually a line of words under the stone lock, which actually reads:
It does not count as long as Zhang Dali lifts it up
If you connect the words on the top and bottom of the stone lock, it is:
p>
Anyone who lifts this lock will be rewarded with a hundred taels of silver, but it will not count if Zhang Dali lifts it!
Everyone laughed when they saw it. It turns out that people knew that he was the only one who could lift this guy. And this line of words is about people admiring and praising themselves - of course Zhang Dali understands.
He threw the stone lock, laughed, and walked away.
Author: Hu Wei 2004-6-4 20:16 Reply to this statement
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12 Reply: Feng Jicai from "The Strange Man in the World"! Interested students come and take a look!
"Strange People in the World": Qingyun Louzhu
Qingyun Louzhu is the nickname of a small scholar by the Haihe River. What do you call a literati? He is the type of scholar who is never mentioned in people's mouths, but almost everyone knows him when they mention him.
This gentleman has a narrow face and a thin body, with yellow skin and dry flesh, and long and thin arms and legs. From a distance, you can see a piece of tofu skin cooling on several bamboo poles. But people cannot be judged by their appearance, and the sea cannot be measured. He can write, draw, engrave seals, and even frame things; but experts say his hands are a bit rough. For some reason, there is no plaque written by him in Tianjin Wei's business, and his paintings are not hung on the walls of the restaurant and drugstore. In the field of calligraphy and painting, he is both inside and outside the field. When a literati falls to this stage, only he himself knows whether the feeling of being "unappreciated" is bitter or sour, or both.
So, he came up with the name Qingyun Tower. He called himself Qingyun Tower Master and wrote a couplet to hang on the wall in front of him: "When you are in the green mountains, your heart lies in the white clouds." He often recited this pair to himself.
Every time I finish reciting it, I close my eyes and shake my shoulders, just like a hermit. However, Tianjin Wei is a colorful world for ordinary people. Qingyun Tower is at the east entrance of the big alley, where buyers and sellers are huddled together. Besides, the Four Seasons Spring Restaurant is right next to him, and the smell of fish, meat, onions, and sauce drifts into the window in different ways all day long. Close the window? That guy can use the window glass to stop the smell of fresh fish and meat, but he can't stop the feasting and feasting. A neighbor said to him: "You might as well turn your Qingyun Building into a restaurant. The word "Qingyun Building" sounds pretty nice to you, and it will ring true when you call it!"
He almost shouted this at the time Die in the past.
The earth is spinning, and luck has changed. One day, a meddlesome boy named Chen Ba brought an American to visit him. This man was in his fifties, with a bald head and a big beard with bulging eyes, and his mouth could not be seen in the beard. Chen Ba said that this old beauty likes old Chinese things, especially calligraphy and painting. It was the first time that the owner of Qingyun House met with foreigners. His mind was confused and his hands and feet were busy. When he stepped on the stool to hang the paintings, he almost fell over. The old beauty didn't notice him. She just looked at the paintings on the wall. Every time she looked at a picture, she screamed, as if the water was scalding when she washed her buttocks. Then, he pursed his lips and expressed appreciation. When he puckered his lips, he saw something like a cherry, wet and red, protruding from the middle of his beard. Master Qingyun took a closer look and saw that it was this old beauty's lips. Finally, he said to Qingyun Louzhu in Chinese word by word: "I am, too, high, happy, thank you, thank you--I am too happy, happy, thank you, thank you--" He probably only learned it These words were said over and over again, and he kept saying goodbye.
Qingyun Louzhu was so happy that he went crazy. This is the first time in his life that he has been worshiped like this. Two months later, he received a letter in foreign language. He went to the newspaper office of "Ta Kung Pao" to find Mr. Zhu who knew foreign languages. Mr. Zhu laughed when he saw it and said to him: "What method did you use to drive this old American crazy? He said that after he returned to China, his eyes were filled with your writing every day, and his dreams at night were also your writing." He also said that he felt that all Chinese artists were geniuses! "
The owner of Qingyun House was as swaying as a cloud, and he didn't sleep all night. At dawn, he suddenly felt inspired and wrote "Quietness Zhiyuan" to the old beauty! "Four big characters, framed by hand into a horizontal drape, sent to the post office. There was also a piece of stationery attached to the email, with a request that after people hang the words on the wall, they should stand in front of the words no matter what, take a photo and send it. He thought he would show this photo to others. Show it to your relatives and friends, show it to your neighbors, show it to those who look down upon him, show it to the big business owners, show it to the editors of the newspaper, and finally publish it in the newspaper. Take a look! Just look at it with your dog eyes! You don't recognize me, but the Americans do!
He sat and waited in Qingyun Tower for three months. When he was a little confused and even a little discouraged, a letter with foreign writing on the outside finally arrived. He quickly tore it open and pulled out a letter. It was all in foreign language, which he didn't understand. There were no photos inside. Looking at the envelope again, he saw that the photo was stuck inside. He pinched the photo and stretched it out to take a look. It was a bit awkward and something was not quite right. When he took a closer look, he felt stupid.
The old lady stood in front of his hand and took a picture, but the hand was hanging upside down, all facing down!
These are articles that are easy to get on the exam and are quite humorous