Second, you should tell her that you can't blame that woman. Many people say that the woman did it, but the man did it. Therefore, it is difficult for people to be reasonable when facing things, and they are often impulsive and regret all the way because they are irrational. Mencius has a very important reminder. Mencius said, "People must despise themselves." People must look down on themselves. Only by often doing things that insult yourself will others look down on you. How can people respect you if you don't dress neatly? That's why people have to humiliate themselves before insulting you. Families must have contradictions between their own families before someone can take advantage of them; There must be internal conflicts in one country, and other countries will attack you and rule you. So where is the root cause? The root cause is still in yourself. As the saying goes, "there is no fire at home, no wildfire." If there is no open fire at home, there will be no fire outside. Therefore, when you encounter problems in your life, you must reflect on yourself, so that you can really find the cause of this evil result, and you can really find the reason to resolve this matter. Therefore, you must go back and understand that it is still your own situation, and you must start from your own correction.
When a person is wrong, one day he will know that these are all dreams. If he goes to find a woman, he will be a good woman. Will it be a good woman who destroys other people's families? No, take part in accidental amusement. One day he will find out that it is fake, and then he will come back obediently, so we should have an inclusive heart.
You should have some very important attitudes towards your husband. It's right to be your husband. For example, you work hard. When your husband has some correct values, all you have to do is clap your hands and applaud. "How can you be so good? How can you do it so well? " You are willing to be a cow and a horse. When Mr. Wang is right, you should regard him as your father and worship him. "You can do anything, but I can't." Get along like friends. You don't want couples to get bored with each other every day. Finally, both of them were exhausted. Usually, they are just like friends, very relaxed.
What should I do if my husband is wrong? You should treat him as (not a child, there are not enough children) and treat him as your own son. When your son makes a mistake, will you be endless with him? Will it? You can be so tolerant of children, why can't you forgive your husband? It's unfair. Look at your son's mistakes and you will help him cover them up; When your husband makes a mistake, I will never forgive you or quarrel with you in my life. Many friends say that he is so old that he should understand these principles of being a man, right? I should know, but I don't necessarily know. This should be your decision. Who taught him to be a man? Who taught him the morality of husband and wife? Who taught it? Can you blame him for not teaching? So a seven-year-old boy learned Disciple Rules for a month or two, stood on the stage and said, I learned Disciple Rules before I knew how to be filial to my parents, otherwise he would have been thinking about how to murder his parents every day, you see. What are our TV, movies and media teaching men to do? No one taught him to be moral to his wife. Every woman on TV is beautifully dressed, isn't she? So it is not easy to be a man now, because there is no definite achievement, because there is no sage's teaching, and now the temptation outside is so great that the defeat is like a mountain, so this "should" is open to question. He has never heard the story of Hong Song.
In the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was a minister named Hong Song. The emperor at that time was Emperor Guangwu of the Eastern Han Dynasty. Just after the husband of Guangwudi's sister died, the emperor's sister admired Hong Song very much, so she asked the emperor to be a matchmaker and said that she would marry Hong Song. Most people think that as long as they marry the emperor's sister, they are royalty, and everyone wants to climb this relationship. The emperor will talk to Hong Song and tell Hong Song that people will change clothes as soon as they have money, and change wives as soon as they have money. As a result, Hong Song immediately told the emperor. He said, "Poor and humble friends should not be forgotten." When you are poor and humble, even a friend in need, you must never forget the original morality and mutual support. This is the foundation of being a man. You should have kindness, friendship and morality. Then, he said, "The scum's wife can't stay in the classroom." No matter how developed he is, this "dross" is modesty, which means that his wife has been working hard with us. We must never forget this friendship, so we must never take it away. I have never heard such a moral story in my twenties.
Hong Song's speech is very artistic. Look at the order of his speech, "A poor and humble friend, never forget". What did he think of the emperor's integrity when he said this? "You're right", and then "a bad wife can't stay in the palace", so the emperor immediately thought, "Yes, yes, I can't ask you like this." But if the emperor said in the first sentence, "Come, do you want to marry my sister? If you immediately say, "The scum's wife will not leave the court, the emperor will be very unhappy. "You contradict me too much. So it can be seen from here that ancient people even spoke in a reasonable order. Therefore, due to Hong Song's attitude, he not only mentioned the emperor's righteousness, but also mentioned the integrity of civil and military officials in the Qing Dynasty. If he married the emperor's sister, then the ministers at that time would be in chaos, and because he was such a husband and wife, these ministers in the Eastern Han Dynasty took Hong Song as the benchmark, so the sages did things without looking at the present and looking at the long term.
How many men have heard this story now? So you said he should understand. People are now in their twenties, thirties and forties, but that doesn't mean they are smart in their thirties and forties. Sometimes, people in their thirties and forties are not as simple as those in their twenties, not to mention so many temptations. So at this time, you can accept, forgive and guide, so that you can get out of this life challenge. The so-called "people are not sages, to err is human, to change is to change, and goodness is great." Dear friends, you have to believe that no one likes self-indulgence, and often after being wrong, no one accepts him, tolerates him, and no one teaches him a lesson, so many people make mistakes again and again to save face and make a mess of their lives. Therefore, since we are destined to be husband and wife, we should cherish this kindness.
A woman happened to be having an affair with her husband. The child is still in primary school, so she went to see Mr Yang Shufen. Teacher Yang told me that women are very hard at this time, so we should pay more attention to women. Therefore, Teacher Yang teaches calligraphy and teaches children to teach calligraphy until ten o'clock. The children all went back, and many mothers and wives stayed for consultation. Sometimes they ask the teacher questions until one or two in the middle of the night. If you don't understand her question, sometimes you just happen to get stuck, and then you make a bad decision and you will get into trouble, and some even come to a dead end, so this is an urgent task. So I often talk about one or two points. Teacher Yang said that she would always put an umbrella in the car. Why? Hide, as long as you encounter an emergency, you can immediately ... and then walk in clothes that others can't tell whether she is a woman or not. It's safer, so it's really not easy. Therefore, Yang Shufen's ability to help family relations is accumulated bit by bit.
Once, a lady encountered this problem. Teacher Yang said to her, she said, do you really want to solve it? She said: Yes, I really want to solve it. Teacher Yang said: Then listen to me. Many people come to ask questions, saying that I want to solve, I want to solve, and I will come back after listening to suggestions, so it takes determination to really solve the problem. Teacher Yang told her that in the face of such a situation, you must show the greatest charm of a woman. What's her name? "tenderness", how do you all know? Be gentle. So the teacher told her that from today on, you must dress very dignified and beautiful, don't scare your husband out as soon as you enter the door, and wait for him to come back dignified and beautiful every day.
Then the lady went back and started doing it. The first day, after eleven o'clock, after twelve o'clock, I didn't come back until one o'clock. What should I do at this time? According to the previous words, I want to scold. At this time, I suddenly realized that "everything should be patient", so I suppressed my anger first. As soon as her husband came in, he ran to help him with his bag. "You are really hard, and your work is really hard. Come on, you must be hungry. I will help you cook noodles. Please sit down here quickly. " I ran over and started cooking noodles. Her husband is in shock and doesn't know what happened. Every day after that, I waited for her husband to come back, and before he came back, I had already handled the children's homework, packed everything at home, and waited for her husband to come back, so I really did it day after day. I worked for almost two months, and one day her husband came back very early, very early. As soon as he entered the door, he knelt down without saying anything. Her husband said, please spare me. I confessed to you. He said that in recent months, I have not lived a human life. So we must awaken each other's conscience with sincerity, don't be impulsive, life can't have a happy ending. So, because this woman really wants to do her duty first, she still has to do something for herself.
When we can do this in our life, we will certainly win the respect of your children, friends and relatives around us, and even your subordinates for your virtue. So I will lose my temper when I meet anything in the future. Which command will pop up? What sentence? "Don't do whatever you want, ask for more happiness." We should have this attitude.
There is a very important teaching in Lu's Spring and Autumn Annals, "the foundation of all things". Where is the root of all this? "You must cure yourself first" is your self-cultivation effort. As the saying goes, "be a man and the world will succeed;" If you treat him, the world will be governed. " Therefore, you should start with self-cultivation when dealing with people. When your body is repaired, your home will naturally be happy, because you have set an example; Your body has been repaired, and your subordinates have nothing to say to you. If I respect you from the bottom of my heart, your career will run well. Therefore, if you can't find it at all, you can succeed. You are simply cultivating yourself. Our ten-day course is about the teachings left by our ancestors in China 4500 years ago, so we should stick to it and carry it out after learning.