propose marriage, also known as marriage proposal. That is, the matchmaker proposes marriage to the man, or the matchmaker introduces the woman's situation to the man first, and the man approves it before proposing marriage to the woman.
horoscope
horoscope (marriage), the old custom of marriage has two links. After the two sides propose marriage, the matchmaker writes the woman's name, birthdates, place of origin and ancestors into three generations and sends them to the man. If there are no accidents or unlucky things in the man's house within three days, such as breaking bowls and pots, this is called "three days good" With this good sign, the man agreed to exchange Geng posts. After changing the Geng post, please get married separately, and make sure that both men and women are born together or mutually restrained. If mutually restrained, the marriage will have to be ruined.
Contemporary people advocate free love. Although young men and women have long got rid of the marriage custom of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words" and the old custom of exchanging Geng Tie has been abandoned, many people still keep the link of "matching eight characters".
After the betrothal is combined with the eight characters to choose a good luck, it enters the betrothal stage, that is, the man prepares the gift to the woman to make the engagement, which is also called "fixing". Gifts are usually gold and silver jewelry such as gold earrings, gold rings and gold necklaces, as well as sugar and noodles, which are tokens of engagement. The woman should have a gift in return. Both men and women should distribute sweets and cakes to their relatives and neighbors to inform them that their marriage has been decided.
the betrothal gift will be given after the betrothal. Hire, also known as send hire. In the past, the bride price of rich people was gold and silver, colored satin, pigs and sheep, wine and fruit; The poor are betel nuts and chicken wine. Chaozhou people regards betel nut as a symbol of good luck and wishful thinking, which is a very distinctive employment gift.
Contemporary betrothal gifts include physical objects and cash, and the physical objects must have more than four types: sugar, noodles, Daji (Chaozhou orange), gold and silver jewelry, clothes and cloth, cakes and food, etc., but they must be even. Cash, also known as betrothal money, is divided into one, two and four, but all of them are multiples. During the engagement, the woman should return the cake and food in the engagement, and give back mandarin ducks, bananas, oranges, pig hearts and so on. Mandarin ducks and bananas are bananas that coexist, symbolizing a hundred years of old age, and also meaning to make money into treasure; The orange homonym "Ji" symbolizes good luck; The pig's heart (half left in the woman) symbolizes concentricity. At this time, the two sides will also solemnly distribute the cakes and food in each other's gifts to relatives and friends, report the wedding, and relatives and friends will also return gifts to congratulate them. Giving a gift to the bride is called "sending pollen".
choose a day. After the betrothal ceremony, the man should choose the date of marriage and tell the woman, including informing her when to cut the wedding dress, when to "pull the face" (that is, wring the hair off her face with thread), when to bathe and when to get married. Most of the time chaozhou people chose was in the middle of the night, and it was a legacy of ancient times that the tide custom kept the wedding custom of late at night. In ancient times, weddings always ended in fainting, so the wedding ceremony must be held after dusk or even late at night.
Wedding ceremony is a ceremony for the groom to marry the bride at the woman's house, and it is also the most important procedure in the wedding. There are two kinds of wedding ceremonies in the old customs: one is the groom's wedding ceremony, and the other is that the man invites a "lucky man" to greet him. In modern times, most of them are the groom himself. In the whole process before and after the wedding ceremony, the woman and the man should hold some custom activities, including the following aspects:
flower washing water
Before the wedding ceremony, the bride should bathe in twelve kinds of flowers and plants, such as Xiancao and Pomegranate, and put on a "five-lined" coat after the bath, also known as "sedan chair shirt", which means Five Blessingg is complete. In some places, after bathing, brides should sit in the bathtub and eat two hard-boiled eggs to pray for a smooth birth after marriage. Moreover, the clothes worn by the bride can't be sewn with bags inside and outside, which is intended not to take the parents' luck away.
penny rice
bsp; Before the wedding, the bride wants to "divide the rice", that is, give a lot of rice mixed with coins to her brothers and sisters at home, indicating that she will share her wealth with everyone. In Haishan Town, Raoping, the custom of dividing rice is that the mother puts money rice in a dustpan or a bamboo sieve, shakes the dustpan vigorously, and says while shaking it: "After the dustpan is round, the children and grandchildren will be rich; Evenly, hold a male grandson next year. " Then give the money and rice to the bride's brother and one to the bride. The bride takes it and puts it in a specially made Chinese-style belly pocket, and puts the money and rice in her husband's rice jar.
eat half a bowl of rice
in the morning before the bride goes out, the bride's family will cook a four-course or nine-course breakfast for her to enjoy, among which there must be four common dishes, such as boiled pork intestines, pork tripe, stewed vegetables and good dishes, and the rice for the bride should be full, but the bride can only eat one side (that is, half a bowl), which means that after marriage, she should also have some money left to her family.
Before the wedding ceremony, the groom should hold a solemn "bed-setting" ceremony when decorating the new house. An auspicious day should be chosen to settle the bed, and the orientation of the head of the bed is also particular. After putting the bed in bed, you should stick a message of "Good luck in bed" and "Kirin is here" on the bed, and then ask a boy to lie in bed for a while, which means having a baby early.
Pick up the bride
On the wedding day, the groom goes to the bride's house and takes the bride back by bike, motorcycle or car. The bridesmaid and uncle (the bride's brother) accompany the bride. Auntie should bring gifts to the man's house. In addition to a male and a female chicken, this gift should be accompanied by a bottle of lamp oil, which means that the man is "adding more". Now, some people use cosmetic oil instead of lamp oil. When my brother-in-law arrives at his in-laws home, he will be warmly treated.
when getting married, the bride should bring a dowry. In the dowry, there must be lamps, clogs, needle and thread, mirrors, combs, rulers, rice tubes, grass-headed Chinese-style belly pockets (with two grass-headed incense, namely sedge), etc., and toys and stationery for children and socks for relatives and friends should be prepared. Among them, the clogs mean "grow old together" or "follow suit"; Wearing a comb symbolizes that the bride does things like combing her hair, methodically. At present, some children use small quilts to fold into a Chinese-style chest covering, and grass heads are sandwiched in the quilt to form a Chinese-style chest covering with grass heads.
after eating "five bowls of head" and "full house round"
after entering the bridal chamber, the bride should eat "five bowls of head": swordfish, pork liver boiled with onion, fried pork with leek, meatballs and sweet bowls
-glutinous rice or taro paste. Put four sweet cups on the four corners of the table, put brown sugar in the cups, and stick a little brown sugar on each dish to make it sweet from beginning to end. The dragon swordfish symbolizes competence, the pork liver boiled with onion symbolizes being official, smart and reasonable, the leek symbolizes long life and quick hair, the meatball symbolizes reunion, and the sweet bowl takes the sweetness of life, all of which are good wishes for good luck. The bride and groom should sit at both ends of the bed and eat "house-closing dumplings", that is, eat sweet dumplings, and exchange the rest after eating half.
Sweet tea
At noon on the wedding day, the man fetes relatives and friends. After the luncheon, the mother-in-law or groom will take the bride out to offer sweet tea or betel nuts to relatives and friends. When offering tea, we should strictly follow the generation order, and the mother-in-law or groom should teach the bride one by one: who is this and what is that called. When an elder drinks a cup of happy tea, he will be given a red envelope in return, which is commonly called "face money" and some words of blessing.
On the wedding day, neighbors, men and women talked and laughed, and came to eat wedding candy and see the bride. The bride should send toys and stationery to children and socks to relatives and friends.
On the third day of the wedding, the bride and groom will hold a "return ceremony", that is, go back to the bride's family. The ceremony of "returning to the door" was held three times in a row, commonly known as "returning to the door for the first time", "returning to the door for the second time" and "returning to the door for the third time". For the first two times, the bride and groom need to have lunch at their parents' home, but they should return before cooking dinner. Only for the third time can you spend the night at your mother's house. In some places, the "return ceremony" is held after four months of marriage.
Chaozhou wedding custom, with six rites as its content, has been simplified and varied through generations. Most of the contemporary customs have been abandoned and simplified. Traveling to get married, holding small tea parties and attending group weddings have become fashionable. Some people who love the old still keep the old marriage customs.