Yes, I'm packing my bags. I don't know what to take with me and what to leave behind. I didn't have much luggage when I came, but after living here for a month, my suitcase was full, but there were still many things to hold. I didn't know how to choose.
When I hesitated, I went to the window and looked far away. This is the gesture I have repeated the most in this month.
The blue sky in the distance is as pure as a baptized conscience, and the prayer flags on the hills are fluttering in the wind and faintly visible; The bells of the horses are faintly audible. This quiet town is close to the sky and far from the noise. I stayed here for a month with many scars, and now I have healed seven or eight points.
I picked up the prayer wheel on the windowsill and turned it round and round. Tashi, the owner of this hotel, said that every turn of the prayer wheel is a scroll of chanting, and this piety will definitely touch the living Buddha and the believers will be blessed.
"Auntie, Auntie ..."
My thoughts were interrupted by the immature and crisp voice of a child in the yard. It was Yang Zhen, the five-year-old daughter of Tashi.
I opened the door and stomped down the stairs. When she looked at me, her big eyes smiled into two crescent moons. She held a coarse porcelain bowl and waved to me: "Come, auntie, it's afternoon. Why don't you go downstairs?"
When I came to her, I was invited to grab a handful of Ciba from her bowl and put it in my mouth. Although I was not used to it, I failed to live up to her kindness. She was my second good friend in Tibet.
"auntie is sorting things out! Baby. "
"Dad said you were leaving the day after tomorrow, is that true?" She suddenly pouted, and the crescent moon under her eyebrows turned into two sparkling glass beads.
"Aunt is going back to Shanghai, but I will come to see you as soon as I have time. When you grow up, you can come to me by train or plane, and I will take you to Disneyland. "
"Is it the largest city in China? Can we local people go? Will you get lost if you go? " Her pouting mouth relaxed slightly, and she raised her face upward, showing a lovely smile.
"Of course, you can't leave without your aunt!" I touched her forehead.
"Auntie, I will miss you when you leave ... I have a question for you. Don't tell Abba and Grandma." She pulled me, stood on tiptoe and tried to get close to my ear. I bent down and put my ear to her mouth.
"auntie, you are actually my grandmother, right?" She seems to be telling me a shocking secret, her voice is low, but she is firm.
I was stunned by this little angel's unexpected words. I didn't know if I would answer. I asked her, "Why do you think I am your grandmother?"
"Because Dad said that if one day he brings back a woman who is very kind and kind to me, it will be my grandmother, so you will be my grandmother." She blinked.
My heart thumped. I couldn't bear to tell her that I wasn't, and I couldn't admit that I was irresponsible. So I made a careless eye: "Well, I'll tell you when I leave the day after tomorrow, okay?"
I want to prevaricate like this first. When Tashi comes back, I will discuss with him how to answer it so that Yang Zhen can understand it without hurting her young heart.
Yang Zhen's sudden words filled my heart with guilt. I am ashamed of my original intention of loving her this month.
My love for her comes from my daughter, Maruko, who is far away from Shanghai. They are the same age, with big eyes and thin and small figure. When I see her, I think of my daughter.
I played games with her, told her stories, washed her hair and tied her pigtails. At first, it was all because I regarded her as a small ball. Having such a girl around just made up for the absence of the small ball. I pinned all my thoughts and guilt on Xiao Yangzhen. Poor little Yangzhen never got a mother's love, so she took me as her grandmother from the bottom of her heart.
How pure children's hearts are. They have filters in their eyes and everything they see is beautiful.
Yang Zhen held my neck, propped my forehead with her forehead, and reached out her hands to gently rub my face. This gesture was like mine, and I made out with her in this way, and I also made out with Maruko in this way.
Just then, Tashi came back. This handsome man, who is 1.85 meters tall, saw my intimate interaction with Yang Zhen and smiled. He half-jokingly accused Yang Zhen: "Are you bothering your aunt Jiang again? It's outrageous to touch my aunt's face with dirty hands! "
after hearing what her father said, Yang Zhen ran upstairs half shy and half angry.
"The buyer of your car has checked and accepted, and the price has been settled. I will take you to sign a contract tomorrow, and the money will be transferred to you face to face. Thankfully, I finally sold it." Tashi said to me while washing his hands on the tap.
"Thank you so much, you have been busy for me these days!"
"you're welcome? I'd love to! I don't trust you to drive this car that doesn't match your character back to Shanghai. It's too dangerous on the road. " He laughed. "You said you wanted to see the pasture at night. I'll take you there after dinner tonight, but not tomorrow night. You have to rest well and catch a plane!"
In the past month, the warm-hearted Tashi has always arranged all my requirements properly. For many moments, I was in a trance and thought that we had not just met, but had known each other for years.
He said that he is dedicated to every customer in his family and always remains enthusiastic. But in my heart, chewed by pain, even a little kindness from others is enough to make me feel gentle.
After dinner, Tashi took me on a motorcycle and ran along the road to the pasture. The sky is full of stars, there is a soft glimmer on the horizon, and the distant pasture is connected with the sky, so that you can't tell where the pasture is and where the sky is.
I'm sitting behind a motorcycle, and the wind from Tibet comes to me with the fragrance of highland barley. I feel more relaxed than ever. If it weren't for Maruko in Shanghai, my job with an annual salary of 5, yuan would be in Shanghai. I really want to live here like this, be a herdsman, or be a front desk in Tashi's homestay hotel, but I don't belong here after all.
But the people I met and the scenery I saw in the past month have basically cured me. When I go back to Shanghai, if I meet those people who have made me feel painful again, I may be able to face it calmly and laugh it off.
The past is like smoke. At this time, I am not afraid to bring it up again. It may hurt, but it is no longer so heartbreaking.
I never thought that divorce would happen to me. When mistress appeared in front of me and talked with me about the terms, I thought I was having a nightmare.
I think I have done my best in love and marriage. I am as tough as Pu Wei, and my husband should be like a rock.
We are alumni. We have been in love for six years. After graduation, we signed up for the same design institute, struggled together to become famous engineers in the industry, and bought two houses in Shanghai, which is a well-known model husband and wife file.
As for my parents-in-law, I regard them as my biological parents. We get along very well. They take care of our children, I buy insurance for them, take them for physical examination regularly, and report them to a tour group when I have time. I always pay attention to their food and clothing.
I'm not vague about giving birth. I got pregnant as planned, gave birth naturally and breastfed until I was one year old.
I thought I was good enough and worthy of others', but reality slapped me in the face.
In fact, I have long discovered that he is too close to the girl who looks young, beautiful and full of energy, but he explained that she is the daughter of Party A, and to get rid of Party A, her daughter must be satisfied with us.
He plays golf with Party A's daughter, plays extreme sports with her, and looks for special snacks in every street in Shanghai. We have never done these things together. We were poor at school and busy after graduation.
I thought he would be different, but why can he be different?
he can't be indifferent to a young woman who is just young and open and avant-garde. Only when this fact was naked in front of me, my whole world collapsed, and the person I firmly believed would grow old with me had long since abandoned our original oath.
I will never forget that terrible afternoon. As soon as I came out of the gym, the girl who was eight years younger than me stood in front of me.
I just finished exercising, Su Yan, wearing a casual sports T-shirt and flat shoes. And this girl in front of her, with delicate makeup, wearing a white suspender skirt and sky-high sandals, has long silky hair shining in the sun, and even women will look at her more, let alone men?
"Sister, I just want to tell you today that I have been with Brother Tang for three months, and I like him very much as a handsome and intelligent mature man. I didn't want to break you up at first, but I thought about it, and I have to let my love shine. Our post-9 s may be different from your post-8 s. For love, we never care about other people's eyes and secular evaluations. If we love, we will be together. "
"What makes you think that Tang Zheng will marry you? He just covets your youth and beauty and treats you as a spice of life. He cares so much about his future and reputation that he can't give up everything he has worked hard for beauty." I tried to hold back my inner grief and anger and pretended to be calm and said to her.
"Sister, you are wrong. You don't know him. He is no longer the ignorant boy who grew up with you. He is a successful man now. He has lost interest in you for a long time. Look at you and look at me. Of course he wants to live and sleep with me. " She smiled, a full face of disdain.
"Do you know that the most basic accomplishment of a woman is not to destroy other people's families?"
"I don't want self-cultivation. I don't need self-cultivation in love. Do you still talk about self-cultivation in bed with him? It's ridiculous that you aunts are losing, and men are not allowed to enjoy the flowers at that time. "
"What a shameless thing!" I finally couldn't help my anger, scolded her and gave her a slap in the face.
She touched her face, but her face remained unchanged: "Sister, it's no use getting angry. You can only get a divorce because I'm pregnant."
I almost fainted and didn't know what to say.
"Sister, I have heard about your self-cultivation and pride. You will get a divorce, because there is no room for sand in your eyes. You won't leave a cheating man around to disgust yourself, and you won't let him walk too ugly. Because you are kind, you won't let your daughter's father be ruined, will you?" She said in a confident tone of "know yourself and know yourself."
"get out!" I turned all the pain and hate into a word of gnashing my teeth and threw it to the woman in front of me.
A few onlookers comforted me and cursed mistress, but I felt that I was humble at the moment, and she was proud, because she won and I lost in a big mess.
she has such a glib tongue, as if every sentence is well-written. I was obviously injured, but I was so passive that there was no room for me to return.
I finally understand why most of the original partners who were abandoned cursed the mistress in the street and tore their clothes, so that they could expose all their ugliness in front of everyone, because the mistress had an advantage over the original partner except "being proud". This is cruel, but it is true.
I didn't pester too much. After getting drunk, I offered to divorce by agreement. I can't forgive him because he is no longer worthy. I didn't embarrass him because he is the father of my daughter.
As Xiao San said, they cheated my cultivation, my pride and my kindness.
We have no savings. We each have a house and the car belongs to me. In order to prevent Maruko from losing her father's love and mother's love, and not to change her current growth status, we decided to raise her together. Since my father has passed away and my mother lives with my younger brother who has settled in Xiamen, it is always uneasy to ask a nanny, so my parents-in-law will still take full-time care of her and take charge of the kindergarten transfer. When she is older, she can choose who to live with.
headhunters have been trying to dig me into another design institute before. At that time, I was determined not to go because I couldn't bear to be a partner of Tang Zheng. Now I have nothing to worry about, so I decided to jump ship. Before going to a new post, I applied for a 4-day rest leave. After handing over my old job, I went to Qinghai by car, trying to bury my sadness there, and then I went to the next new journey full of blood.
I drove all the way to the west, and the scenery outside the window kept retreating. Maybe I was concentrating on driving! Maybe my heart is dying! I can't feel everything around me, and I don't know whether the high-speed under the wheel belongs to Anhui, Henan or Shaanxi, as if I were a lifeless and unconscious cargo, sliding mechanically on the conveyor belt.
I don't remember walking for a few days. I finally saw Qinghai Lake. On that day, my girl accidentally fell into the mirror of the world, which made my eyes shine. That magic and openness dispelled some clouds in my heart, and I felt the first ray of relief these days.
Fate is so wonderful. When I was walking to Shi Naihai, the air pressure of my wheel suddenly alerted the police. When I stopped to look, I actually had a flat tire.
I used to have a husband. I never took part in changing the spare tire. I was suddenly at a loss in this stranger's hiding place.
So I had to ask the passing vehicles for help. I waved my hand vigorously, and after a dozen cars flew past my eyes coldly, a mountain off-road vehicle finally stopped.
A man in his thirties got off the bus. He was tall and burly, with a bronze complexion and a very handsome appearance.
I explained the situation to him, and he took out the jack from the trunk and skillfully and quickly changed the spare tire for me.
I'm so grateful, and he smiled and said, "It's just a little effort. After all, this spare tire is not safe enough. You should drive slowly. Go to the town ahead and mend your tire before changing it. Pay attention to safety on the way."
Looking at the back of his driving away, I felt a little touched. I thought I just met enthusiastic passers-by, but I didn't expect that my fate with him had just begun.
The next day, I arrived in Gangcha, ready to stay here. The navigation took me to a famous hotel called "Watch". The owner of the hotel was the man yesterday. We looked at each other and said with one voice, "It was you!"
At that time, we didn't know each other's names. He introduced himself first: "My name is Tashi, and I am the owner of this hotel. Welcome to stay."
"I'm talking about Jianglai, from Shanghai, and I'm going to spend my holiday here!" I conveniently gave him my ID card for registration.
He took a look: "Ah! What a coincidence, I was born in 1986, and my birthday is in October. "
In this way, I lived in Tashi's house and got to know Yangzhen. This pure and enthusiastic father and son brought me a lot of warmth. Tashi not only runs this B&B, but also has two yak pastures. A look at the decoration of this B&B and the mountain motorcycles and mountain cross-country in the yard shows that he should be a local tyrant. Living with them is Yang Zhen's grandmother, who is also a kind old lady.
this month, Tashi took advantage of his leisure time to show me around.