Marriage custom in Ningdu

1. betrothal engagement

When both men and women hit it off and decide to get married, on the eve of the wedding, the man gives the woman a gift, that is, a "big engagement". The amount of betrothal gifts varies from person to person, generally chicken, duck, fish, meat, sugar, cakes, melon seeds, etc., but the number must be double rather than single, and all kinds of gifts are also auspicious. When a woman receives a gift, she usually can't accept it all. Some of the food should be returned to the man's house, and the rest of the gift cakes and food should be distributed to relatives, friends and neighbors to show her daughter's marriage.

2. Celebrate your daughter's wedding with her family.

Every family should give her something, commonly known as "dowry", which is usually scissors, rulers, umbrellas, buckets, cups, toothbrushes, towels, quilts, pillows and other daily necessities, which is essential. There should be a bag in it to show that there are descendants. There is also a box pressing line for the bride. In addition, there is a red envelope in the quilt, which is for the Quanfu people who make the bed. Generally, the quilt should be made in October, and it is forbidden to make it in September, because there is a saying that "the October set is ten (ten children in a row) and the September set is nine actresses (nine women in a row)".

On the wedding day, there is a custom to paste the word "Xi Xi" from ancient times to the present. It should be pasted on the interior walls of houses, doors and new houses, and some of them also write peaceful and festive couplets and stick them on the door frames. Sticking double happiness is said to have been handed down from Wang Anshi's "Wedding Night in to be no.1" in the Northern Song Dynasty, when he was admitted to a big school and a small school.

3. Go out and spread flowers

Some people set off firecrackers when the groom goes to marry the bride, but firecrackers should not be set off at the bride's house. I drank the wedding wine at the bride's house and usually didn't go out until after twelve o'clock. At this time, the bride should not meet her parents for fear of offending them. The bride is so supreme that even the emperor has to dismount. Before going out, the groom will usually distribute some red envelopes to the bride's family, and the best man will also pour a pot of water brought from the man's house into the woman's water tank, which means bringing "gold and silver water", which means borrowing water to get rich and bringing wealth to each other. The groom should also leave some of the bowl of rice, leave some for her family, and don't take it all away. These are superstitious, but the custom is so, otherwise my sister-in-law will be unhappy. When going out, the bridesmaid walks forward with an umbrella for the bride. The bride must never look back, which is called "never going back". When she meets someone else's favorite car on the road, the bride and groom have to get off and exchange red envelopes with each other. Whoever moves quickly will be the most lucky. If you meet a funeral, you must say, "Today is lucky, and you have met a treasure." For good luck.

when the car approached the new house, the man's relatives and friends set off firecrackers all the way to lead it to the new house. When the bride gets off the bus, it is taken into the new house by Quanfu people (that is, people with husbands on the top and grandchildren on the bottom). Some Quanfu people will say, "Today, the couple has come from far away, and the two sides of XiShen's blessed gods are lined up, and it is auspicious to open the doors and the hatchbacks. Now, please ask the couple to get off the sedan chair." When the bride went forward, people who spread colored paper followed her closely, and spread the flowers along the road, saying, "One scatters flowers like brocade, the other scatters happy ever after, the third scatters harmony for a hundred years, the fourth scatters promotion and wealth, the fifth scatters wealth, the sixth scatters harmony forever, the seventh scatters happiness and longevity, the eighth scatters children prosper, the ninth scatters evil spirits stay away, and the tenth scatters good luck."

4. Worship the church and burn candles

At the wedding wine, under the guidance of the singing ceremony officer, the bride and groom came out from the bride's table full of five men and five women, and the men left and the women right stood in front of the hall, making one worship of heaven and earth, two worship of the high hall, and three couples worshiped each other. After the three worships, the woman officially became a member of the male family, and both husband and wife had the meaning of human relations. When the couple returns to the bridal chamber, they need two red candles in the bridal chamber (instead of two oil lamps for today), and the red candles should stay bright all night. It symbolizes the life of husband and wife. If they burn out at the same time, it means that the husband and wife will grow old together and make up for a hundred years. If one dies first, it indicates that one person will die first. If it doesn't burn out, it means "half-way husband and wife". Therefore, people often put two lamps next to the dressing table, and pile up some sugar cakes, oranges, melons, dates, silver coins, cypress branches, etc. beside them to show that the husband and wife are complete and together for a hundred years.

5. Make the bed and spread the account

It depends on the time. The Quanfu couple will make the bed, and they will speak auspicious words while making the bed. The gentle ones will say, "The mosquito net is hung high, and the ten sons are nine, and the mosquito net is hung round, and the ten sons are nine champions; There is a mandarin duck pillow at the head of the bed, a mandarin duck quilt at the end of the bed, and the mandarin duck pillow is connected with the mandarin duck quilt. The love between husband and wife will never leave. " If you are vulgar, you will say: Point at the bedside and shit at the end of the bed. In a word, it's some auspicious words to wish the early birth of your son and wife love.

When the bed is made, dates, peanuts, olives, candied cakes and melon seeds are sprinkled on it, so that a group of "little people" can compete for it. The groom also wants to grab a date or olive for the bride to eat, which means to have a baby early. Then there is a new house.

6. Having fun in a noisy room

On the wedding night, relatives and friends gather in the new house and make jokes, which is called noisy bridal chamber. There are many forms of making trouble in the bridal chamber, and a fruit is tied with a red line to hang high. Let the bride and groom bite at the same time. Usually, women are shorter than men. At this time, it is necessary for the groom to crouch around the bride and cooperate well to bite. If the person who carries the fruit plays a prank, it often makes the couple try their best to bite the fruit, and it should be the meaning of the child. There are also people who insert a chopstick into a beer bottle and let the couple push it out with the tip of their tongue. Because the couple are ashamed and laughing, and others always shake the bottle, it is really not easy to push the chopsticks out. When chopsticks came out, it meant that children would come out quickly, and the atmosphere in the bridal chamber reached a climax. In addition, there are various forms, such as drinking a glass of wine, introducing the meaning of love, listening to the bridal chamber, etc. As the saying goes, "The more noisy, the happier." In short, in the hubbub of everyone, the scenery of the bridal chamber, the graceful boudoir and the meaning of husband and mistress were fully displayed on this day, and the carefree and happy single life also came to an end in this hubbub.

Other related introductions

Marriage procedure: the old custom of "three teas and six ceremonies to get married". "Three teas" means three gifts. Hakka people in Ningdu want to have a piece of tea in their wedding, house building and other gifts, so it is commonly called "sending tea". "Six Rites", that is, the door process in the process of marriage.

1. winning the lottery, the man asks the media to propose marriage to the woman.

2. Ask the name, ask the woman's name and date of birth, commonly known as "opening a small character".

3. Naji, the man is blessed with good luck, and the two characters match. The man prepared a gift to inform the woman and decided to get married.

4. The man gives the bride a bride price (gifts, clothes and food), commonly known as "opening a red sticker", "opening a big character", "making a big decision" and "making a big decision", which is now called "engagement".

5. Invite the date. The man chooses the wedding date, and prepares a gift to inform the woman and ask for her consent. Commonly known as "reporting the date" and "ordering tea".

6. Kissing, that is, the groom goes to the bride's house to get married, which is generally called welcoming the new. Folk people commonly call the man "Guiqin" and the woman "Hangjia" and "Guimen". This is called "marriage".

Wedding etiquette: In the past, "sedan chair" was fashionable, and the man sent a sedan chair to the woman's house to carry the bride back. Before getting on the sedan chair, the woman's family should cry about it, commonly known as "crying marriage." It is said that not crying will make Waishi poor. After the bride enters the door, she visits the bride, drinks a glass of wine, spreads the floor with a new straw mat, and steps on the mat and enters the bridal chamber. When getting married, the man should give a variety of gifts to his parents-in-law, flower arrangement for his maid, opening ceremony for the first gentleman, opening ceremony for the chef, and opening ceremony for the children to join in the fun. The custom of treating guests and giving gifts is "please first, then congratulate them, and don't invite them." When visiting the church, the elders should send a gift called "Zhi Jing", commonly known as "Visiting".

Marrying relatives: In the old days, men went to their women's homes to marry relatives, commonly known as "recruiting lang".

Remarriage: In the old days, it was very difficult for widows to remarry, and there was a proverb that "Marry a second husband and make a debut". If you agree on the date of burial, you must leave home quietly in the dead of night and sneak out of the village (never pass through Houlongshan). Change your shoes and get on the sedan chair halfway. Remarried widows are called "night bridge women"