Men should marry when they are older, and women should marry when they are older. Marriage between a man and a woman is a major event in life, and has always been valued by the people.
Xiushui has been in Xiushui since the Tang and Song Dynasties. Due to wars, more people have migrated to Xiushui. Since ancient times, a custom of living together among tribes has been formed. In the past when transportation and communication were underdeveloped and feudal consciousness was strong, men and women When young people reach the age of marriage, they generally have to "obey their parents' orders and the matchmaker's advice" and go through certain procedures before they can get married. If you are not getting married through the introduction of a matchmaker, it is considered that you are not getting married through a matchmaker, which is not in line with etiquette and customs, and can easily lead to gossip from others. Under normal circumstances, after parents find a suitable partner for their children through a matchmaker,
both men and women must go through the following procedures:
Blind date.
The first is the horoscope and horoscope. The parents of both young men and women were introduced by a matchmaker. After getting a preliminary understanding of each other, they felt that the conditions of the other party were suitable. The woman handed over her daughter's birth certificate to the man through the matchmaker, and the man's parents obtained the horoscope of the girl's birth certificate through the matchmaker. Finally, ask the "fortune teller" to match the zodiac sign and the horoscope. The so-called horoscopes are to compare the birth year zodiac signs of young men and women to see if there is any mutual infringement. Folk sayings are: "Red snakes and white monkeys fill the house, good fortune and longevity, and prosperity", "Blue rabbits and yellow dogs have existed since ancient times, and the wealth of a huge family is as big as the Big Dipper", " The black rat and the yellow ox are prosperous, the green ox and the black pig are happy, the dragon and the rooster last longer." Sayings such as "In the end" and "When two tigers fight, one of them will be injured". The combination of horoscopes means whether the birth and destiny of young men and women are in conflict. If they can complement each other, they are compatible. If the horoscopes of men and women restrain each other, it means they are incompatible. One man and woman will restrain the other, which will be detrimental to one of them and lead to disharmony between the couple. This cannot be done When they get married, the man will return the woman's birth certificate. The second is to ask the ancestors and gods to identify whether they can become husband and wife. Mainly, the man writes the birth certificate of the young man and woman together, prays to the ancestor gods, and presses the birth certificate of the young man and woman under the incense burner in front of the shrine. If the family is safe within three days, it is considered to be approved by the ancestor gods. Otherwise, it is considered that the ancestral gods do not recognize it, and the man will return the woman's raw material to the woman. The third is to press the tea tray. After both men and women go through the above steps, the matchmaker agrees on a blind date between the man and woman. Blind date means that the matchmaker leads the young man and his father to meet at the woman's house to get to know the other person's figure, appearance, etc. After the man sits down at the woman's house, the young woman (the target) makes several bowls of tea and serves it to the guests on a tea tray. . When the young woman came to the young man, the man and woman looked at each other quickly, and then the woman returned to the room. The relatives of the woman's family asked the young woman what she thought. The woman decides based on the first impression; the young man also decides whether to stay based on the first impression. If the woman thinks it is okay, the man does not leave. The young woman brings a second plate of tea, and the young man takes the second bowl of tea, indicating that both men and women agree to the marriage. If the young woman does not give out tea after the first round of tea, it means that the woman does not agree to the marriage; if the young man does not accept the second bowl of tea, it means that the young man has not fallen in love with the girl. If both men and women fall in love with each other, when the young woman comes out to clear the tea bowl, the young man will put the token or red envelope (money) in the woman's tea tray, which is called a tea tray. At this time, the woman's family hosted a simple banquet to entertain the man's guests. After the meal, when the man leaves the woman's house, the young woman hands the token to the young man. This basically determines the marriage relationship between the two parties.
Check the gatekeeper's house (caijiashe).
After the man came to the woman’s home for the first time, he had a preliminary understanding of the situation in the woman’s home. However, the woman did not know much about the situation in the man’s home. The woman made an appointment through the matchmaker to visit the man’s home (called Check the gatekeeper's house or the house) to understand the situation in the man's family. The concierge is usually the woman's aunts, aunts, sisters-in-law, sisters and the young woman herself. They are led by a matchmaker and visit the man's home to learn about the home environment, family property, family and neighborhood relations, etc. To show his sincerity, the man holds a banquet to entertain his guests, and gives appropriate gifts or seat money to each guest. After the woman passes the concierge, the matchmaker will inform the man whether she agrees to the marriage.
Ding Geng.
After the man and woman agree to get married through the process of blind date, tea tray pressing and door-to-door inspection, the man will then choose an auspicious day to hold the Ding Geng ceremony. There are mainly the following procedures: First, start the matchmaker. The matchmaker will lead the elder and the young man to bring the "three animals" (live chicken, fish, pork), incense candles, and firecrackers to the woman's house to sit down with the matchmaker and agree to go to the woman's house. Notify the ancestors and invite the woman's close relatives to the man's house for a Ding Geng wedding banquet. After receiving the invitation, the woman asked the etiquette master to write the birthdays of the three generations of immediate family members on red paper in Geng letters and put them in special gift boxes for later use. On the other hand, the closest relatives of the family are notified to gather at the woman’s house and go to the groom’s house for a banquet. When setting off, the woman’s elders will bring gift boxes to the groom’s house as guests; the groom’s family will also send their own On the birthdays of the three direct generations, the Hui Geng letter should be written on red paper for later use. The second is to negotiate the betrothal gift and dowry.
The matchmaker will come forward to make the initial negotiation. The main contents include the amount of gift money from the man, how many sets of clothes to make for the woman, the amount of meat (pork) as a gift, various small gifts, etc. After that, the man writes the red slip on big red paper and gives it to the woman. Keep it with the mediator; the woman decides how much dowry to buy based on the amount of the man’s betrothal gift and her own financial situation, and writes a red slip on big red paper, and gives it to the man and his wife for safekeeping as evidence for both parties.
On the auspicious day, the man’s close relatives and companions have been waiting at home for a long time. When the woman’s close relatives arrive at the man’s main door, the man greets him with a salute. His close relatives and dignitaries line up to greet him on the right side of the main door, and the man’s companions greet him. He made a speech and led the female guest into the guest room to sit down.
The guests sit down, the men offer cigarettes, and the women offer tea. The male and female guests exchanged some polite words with each other. The woman will hand the gift box containing Geng Shu to the elder man. At noon, before the wedding banquet begins, the man burns incense and lights candles in front of the main hall shrine to report to his ancestors. Afterwards, he invites the guests to sit down at the table. The man will accompany you to seat the main guests at the banquet in the order of their age. After the wedding banquet, the man will accompany you to speak a set of formulaic words. After a few words with you, the guest representative also made some humble remarks. After both men and women greeted each other politely, they sat down and the banquet officially began. During the banquet, the man accompanied you to toast and delivered a speech, and the new guest representatives also stood up to reply.
After the feast, the woman began to say goodbye and return. The man handed the Gengshu gift box to the guest representative. After that, the man’s uncle, uncle, brother and younger brother lined up to see each other off on the left side of the gate. The woman said to her guest: After some humble words of farewell, the man accompanying you also said goodbye.
Report the date.
After eating the Ding Geng meal, the man selects an auspicious day at least one month before the wedding, takes the matchmaker's invitation and the matchmaker's gift (gold) to the matchmaker's home to thank the matchmaker, and informs him of the scheduled marriage. days. After the matchmaker agrees with the girl's family on a date, the man will write the proposed wedding day in a letter and pack it in a special gift box. The matchmaker will lead the young man and the groom's uncle to wait at the girl's home to announce the date, and the girl will host a banquet to entertain the guests. Afterwards, the woman also sent a reply letter to the man's parents with a gift box, and finally determined the date of marriage. After the wedding day is determined, both men and women start preparations for the wedding.
Marry (Yu Gui).
On the day before returning home, the woman has to do several things: First, invite a middle-aged woman with both children and a married couple with equal eyebrows and high moral integrity to perform facial and facial rituals for the married woman. It means twisting the hair on the face with twine, and twisting the hair into a bun at the back of the head.) When a woman gets married, she opens her face and puts her head on her head, which means that from now on, she will become a daughter-in-law, and she will be married by a matchmaker when she comes to the groom's house. , not a hairy child bride, who has the same status as her man. After the face opening and head opening, the woman who opened the face and head of the married girl wishes the married girl "the husband and wife have the same eyebrows, have a baby early, have long hair," etc., and send the married girl off with courtesy. The second is the warm house (warming sedan chair). The bride's uncles, aunts, aunts and aunts wait at home to help prepare for the marriage, say some considerate words to the married woman, and ask her to go home often after she returns.
On the afternoon of the day before his return, when the groom’s sedan chair and the wedding meat were about to enter the door, the groom’s musket maker fired two shots, announcing the arrival of the groom’s wedding team. At the front were the wedding meat and other items. The concubine and his entourage were accompanied by the sedan chair, the bearer, the matchmaker and other deacons. After entering the house, the woman accompanied you through the hard work, and after both parties expressed their congratulations, the woman's mother was moved by the scene. She was suddenly reluctant to say goodbye, and couldn't help crying while holding her daughter. Uncles, aunts, sisters, etc. were nearby... They will all be comforted out of common sense.
In the evening, the woman holds a banquet to entertain the bride-to-be and relatives who arrived in advance. This meal is called the "wedding meal". After the meal, the man brings the "three animals" (chicken, fish, meat), oil candles , incense paper, firecrackers, etc. are used to worship the ancestors, and a candle-giving ceremony is held. An elder from the "family ancestor" (the person with the original surname) and the "foreign ancestor" (the bride's mother's family) is invited to "hand out candles." Each person was responsible for lighting a large oil candle and talking while lighting it. The family ancestor said: "Water has a source, and trees have roots. Let's take advantage of ××'s blessing to offer gold." The family ancestor said: "Light up the mandarin duck candle with both hands, and the light will flicker." Looking at the hall, the yin and yang meet and congratulate each other, and the couple's eyebrows grow happily." My grandfather said: "When flowers and candles illuminate the hall, the auspicious light fills the room with mandarin ducks. On this day, after the phoenix and the luan couple, the toes of the next year will show auspiciousness early in the year." Then he called to the gods: "I would like to inform the ancestors of such and such a family in such and such a hall, there is a daughter of such and such, a descendant of the hall, and she will choose a day to marry the son of such and such in such and such a family. I wish that we will grow old together for a hundred years and be prosperous for five generations." After the call, he bowed. . After saying this, the big oil candle is blown out, wrapped, and given to the man for use in the "making cup". This "candle giving" ceremony is sometimes held when the bride bids farewell to her ancestors and leaves the palace the next day.
After the candles are handed out, pastries and fine wine are served, and the wedding planner, matchmaker, etc. are invited to the table to discuss the unfinished matters related to the wedding, and the various gifts, gifts, red envelopes, clothing, etc. written in the red list are counted to see if they are in order. Ready. At this time, the woman always has to make other demands, sometimes even extraordinary demands, asking the man to increase his money. This process is called "talking about marriage". There is a saying among the people that "talk about kinship, talk about kinship, don't talk about kinship", "fight for hair, fight for hair, don't fight for hair". As a result, there are many families who bargain over a trivial matter and get red-faced, even like a quarrel, but both parties understand in their hearts that this is just "acting", so both parties don't mind. In order to take care of the woman's "face", the man always has to make certain concessions.
In the evening, when everyone is quiet, the hostess takes the bride, prepares three animals, oil candles, and incense paper to pay homage to the sedan chair, and tries to sit in the sedan chair once, which is called "pressing the sedan chair."
The next morning, the woman officially hosted a banquet to entertain the guests.
At the banquet, two jars of wine sieves brought by the man were given to the guests. Before the wedding banquet, incense and candles are burned at the shrine of the ancestral hall and the sacrifices brought by the groom are offered. After that, the host family and you sit on the table in order of the size of the guests and then speak, and the relatives greet the guests and reply.
After the wedding banquet, the women accompany the bride to cry in her room. Crying at marriage is a kind of etiquette, which expresses the separation between a married daughter and her parents, relatives and friends. The crying this time was initiated by the married daughter. At this time, the daughter was faced with the warm atmosphere of many relatives and friends coming to congratulate her, and faced with the kindness of her parents in raising her for many years, she was moved by the scene and filled with emotion. There are naturally many materials and objects for crying. The daughter chose her mother first and threw herself into her arms. The mother was once again moved by the scene and cried because of the scene. She was the first to stuff the red envelope she had prepared into her daughter's arms. Except for the married mother and daughter who cried to each other, everything else happened. Relatives and women all attended and said goodbye to each other. The daughter told her brothers and sisters-in-law to be filial to their parents and ask relatives to take care of the mother's house. Sometimes the male relatives were also invited to listen to the bride's instructions. All the female and male relatives should give the bride a red envelope, which is called: "Called Beak Bun". After crying for a period of time, the bride begins to dress. The woman in the tribe who has the most children and has only been married once will help with dressing, changing shoes, etc., and finally puts on the "shame scarf".
The accountant instructs the men to move all the dowry to the upper and lower halls, divide it into several parts, put it on the bamboo pole used to carry gifts the day before, and paste the word "happy" on it. The woman's man will tie the dowry tightly with red rope. He affixed a long seal of a certain family from a certain hall and sent it out of Yumen. The wedding planners gave red envelopes respectively, and the groom's wife took the dowry and set off on the road. The hosts set off firecrackers and fired cannons to see each other off.
After the dowry is gone, put a dendrobium bucket (a container for measuring grains) with the bottom upturned before going to the hall, and light a large oil candle and incense in front of the ancestral tablet (if no candles were given the day before yesterday) , candles are issued at this time) "report to the ancestors". When worshiping the ancestors, the elders of the family pray in front of the shrine in front of the hall and bid farewell to the ancestors. The bride's brothers carry the bride from the boudoir to the hall, and stand at the bottom of the dendrobium barrel facing the ancestors. superior. After the bride changes into new shoes, she cannot walk on the ground to avoid taking her natal land with her. After the bride stood still, she bowed three times to her ancestors, cried and sang goodbye to her ancestors, and prayed for blessings. Then turn to face the gate, bow three times, cry and sing farewell to parents, relatives and friends, and then carry the brothers out of the gate and put them into the sedan chair to sit down and close the sedan door. Before getting up from the sedan chair, the ceremonial attendants give blessings. After getting up from the sedan chair and giving blessings, amidst a burst of celebration firecrackers, the leader opens the way by setting off firecrackers, blowing muskets, and gongs. The suona is played along with the procession. A brother of the bride's side protects the sedan chair, and the youngest sister is nearby. When getting married, the man who is welcoming the bride, the main relatives of the woman, and a number of relatives bring the wedding invitation, the man's clothes, various small gifts (one half for men and one half for women) and a cage gift box to the groom's house as guests. When the sedan chair was not far away, someone brought a stove and gave it to the bride. The bride gave the person who brought the stove a red envelope. The fire in this stove cannot be brought to the groom's house. The fire in the stove must be poured out on the way.
After the sedan chair left, he picked up the loader's load and left the two chickens he picked, leaving one hen. The male was still returned. After the two wine jars had finished drinking, they left One will be returned to the bride after she gives birth, and the other will be filled with two chicken legs (chickens killed when worshiping the ancestors the night before), four eggs, and eight pieces of pork (four essences and four fats) and returned to the groom's "cup." The gift box brought by the bearer is replaced with six letters of return greetings from the woman, etc. to send the bearer and matchmaker away.
Welcoming the bride.
The wedding procession came to a place not far from the groom's home. At this time, the "gun master" fired several shots to report the news to the groom. The first person to enter was The woman's dowry, after entering the house, is first placed in the hall for guests to watch and appreciate, and then moved into the new house. Then the bride and groom were picked up respectively.
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Pick up the bride.
When the bride's sedan chair came to the door, the groom's side fired firecrackers, gongs, drums and suonas, and the onlookers rushed forward to welcome the bride. The sedan chair slowly landed on the large base made of bamboo strips that had been prepared. After the sedan chair stopped, the sound of firecrackers, suona, gongs and drums stopped. At this time, Li Sheng held the legs of the rooster in his left hand and a kitchen knife in his right hand. He stood at the door facing the sedan chair, which is called "blocking the door" or "cutting". "The sedan is broken". Standing next to him was a man holding a "tray" containing "flower rice" mixed with red confetti. It is said that rice represents the "god of grains" and any demon is afraid of it. Li Sheng first puts the back of his knife on the edge of the sedan door and knocks it three times in the order of center, left and right, throws the knife on the ground, then grabs a handful of "flower rice" from the plate, says a blessing, and knocks the gong. .
Then the groom comes to the sedan with a folding fan and a key in hand. Facing the sedan door, he first uses the fan to knock three times on the top of the sedan in the order of center, left and right. Then he opens the fan and presses " Fan the inside of the car three times in the shape of "thousand", and then use the key to unlock it. Legend has it that the groom wants to fan away the bride's prestige, so as not to overpower her husband in the future. However, the woman does not show weakness, opens the folding fan, and also uses the word "thousand" to fan outwards to offset the wind coming from the fan.
After the door on the sedan chair is opened, it is not opened immediately. The two bridesmaids walk forward. The bride uses a fan to hold two red envelopes and stick them out from the crack of the sedan door. The bridesmaids take the red envelopes and open the sedan chair. The bride is helped out of the sedan chair and walks into the gate, enters the hall, and performs the greeting etiquette: first, bow to heaven and earth; second, bow to the high hall; third, husband and wife bow to each other. Afterwards, they pay homage to the groom's family members respectively, and all those who are worshiped will inevitably give red envelopes to the bride. Afterwards, the bride was supported by the two bridesmaids into the bridal chamber. The man pours the "fruits of filial piety" brought by the woman on the ground, allowing children and women to snatch them.
The filial piety fruit must contain red dates, raw peanuts, wedding candies, etc., which means that a child will be born early, and a boy or girl will be born in time.
Talk to the matchmaker. After receiving the bride, the matchmaker is greeted amidst a burst of firecrackers. After the matchmaker enters the door, the groom's host greets the bride and invites the matchmaker to drink. The matchmaker takes the host's wine and replies with a few words of congratulations.
Get married. Firecrackers went off as the Supreme Immortal stepped in front of Yumen. The Supreme Immortal made three rounds of salutes (outside the door, at the front of the door, and in the main hall). There were two concierges waiting at each place. During the first round, the host and guest held hands and exchanged simple greetings. Let it go, the second round of guests and the host bowed, and the man accompanied you to take the umbrella from the superior's hand. On the third round, there were about ten greeters lined up on the left side of the main hall, respectfully inviting the female guests to the right, and the male side Accompanying the gentleman first makes polite remarks, and the female guest replies.
While receiving the etiquette, the host family also prepared a banquet.
Wedding banquet. It is usually set up in the ancestral hall of the family, and incense and candles are burned on the shrine of the ancestral hall (the candles are left behind when the woman lit the candle), and the ancestors are blessed. After the ancestor blessing, a wedding banquet is held
Both the man and the woman After the main relatives have arrived, the man will accompany you to the table in the order of age of relatives and friends. The elders of the maternal clan, the superiors and the matchmaker will sit at the table. Then the man will accompany you and the woman to the table to greet each other with polite words. After that, the guests of both parties will After sitting down, during the banquet, the man stood up to toast with you, and the woman stood up to say goodbye.
The man's uncles and brothers all asked the princes and matchmakers to drink, and when the fish came, they stopped drinking and left the banquet happily. After a while, the groom's uncle invited the bride's relatives to have a "reception banquet". After the "receipt banquet", they then had "cheese". The "cheese" banquet is the highest level of this wedding banquet, and the quality of the food is better than that of the main banquet. After the "cheese made" banquet, it was dark for a while. Except for a few who stayed overnight, most of them had to go home. At this time, the female guest said goodbye and turned around on behalf of the female superior, and the male accompanied the uncles and brothers of the Junling family to line up. They send each other off on the right. At this time, the female guest bows her hands in thanks, and the male companion also raises his hands in greeting. Then the host family sent firecrackers to each other.
Having trouble in the bridal chamber. This is the last scene of the wedding. After finishing the wedding banquet and sending off the bride, nearby relatives, friends, colleagues, classmates, etc. went to have a wedding ceremony. During the bridal chamber, the man moves the candle in front of the shrine to the bridal chamber. At the same time, he divides the chicken legs, eggs and pork brought by the woman into two parts and sends them to the bridal chamber as a "making cup". He also asks the etiquette to give blessings to enhance the festive atmosphere. . Those who are similar in age to the bride and groom will laugh and joke together.
Full moon. After their daughter got married, her parents were worried that her daughter would not be accustomed to living in the groom's home, so they sent a female family member of their own tribe to visit the groom's home. They called the full moon. That is, the Japanese yen was replaced by the female uncle Fang. The next day, the girl's parents will invite uncles, aunts or other important relatives to go with them. The man hosted a banquet for the guests.
Go back to the door. According to rural customs, the bride herself cannot return to her parents' home to visit relatives until after the full moon.
When the daughter returns home, the son-in-law takes the daughter-in-law to the mother-in-law's house. The father-in-law prepares a sumptuous "return wine" banquet to welcome the new son-in-law. During the banquet, the bride introduces the groom to meet his uncles, brothers and relatives. , those who are visited give him gifts.
With the development of the times, the cumbersome etiquette of marriage celebrations is being simplified. Most of the original cumbersome etiquette are reduced to the three major processes of tea tray pressing, engagement and marriage. By around the 20th century, the role of matchmaker was no longer necessary.
Young people who are at the junction of the old and new centuries have ideals and ambitions, and they will treat their marriage and life correctly. They will not be arranged by their parents, not fooled by matchmakers, and not bound by old customs. , not captured by money. They have to choose the right lover, the right career, and marry from a distance. Countless men settle in families with girls but no boys. Children born and raised in rural areas form partners with girls from economically developed coastal areas. They are in this new millennium and new century. In the blue sky, he works hard to find a career and love that can belong to him.