1. After getting married and giving birth to a child, do you still need to follow the ceremony?
In social interactions, people have different ways of communicating their emotions, and casual etiquette is one of them. .
Beloved relatives and friends, classmates and colleagues you get along with day and night, respected superiors and leaders, if there is something going on at home, you should go and see it, or send a gift to express your feelings. This is a way to continue friendship. Opportunities to enhance emotional communication are justifiable. However, with the development of society, there are more and more names for accompanying gifts, the trend is becoming more and more fierce, the scope of the influence is getting wider and wider, and the tricks are constantly being updated, which is really difficult to cope with. Gifts are required for marriages, gifts for dead people, gifts for children when they are one month old, gifts for housewarming, gifts for opening a business, gifts for children going to college and high school, birthdays, remarriage and remarriage...etc., there are many names.
2. What etiquette should be observed in getting married and having children?
First a blind date, then an engagement, then to marriage and having children. Wedding customs Before the first year of Xuantong in the Qing Dynasty (1909), Huaiyuan County Folk weddings have the custom of renting a sedan chair, hiring a suona team, and holding a ceremony.
After the opening of the port, a few wealthy families held lavish weddings. The Sedan Parade at the south end of Guoqing Street is equipped with all kinds of official sedans and sedan chairs, as well as bearers; the Gong Square is equipped with a band and a full set of wedding ceremony guards, including wooden pumpkins and axes used by "luanjia".
According to their wealth, people who hold weddings rent a full apartment, which is called a "Man Chao Luan Jia", and a half rental apartment is called a "Half Chao Luan Jia". The average poor person does not have such extravagance.
Men and women are still in their infancy, and their parents usually decide their entire lives. The younger person should be married at the age of thirteen or fourteen, the older person should be no more than twenty years old, and it is appropriate for the male to be within five years older than the female.
When a woman comes to the man's house, it is a way to add people to her husband's family and share the housework. Some women's families use gift money to support their families.
Proposals for marriage, engagement, choosing a date, getting married, visiting the church, returning home, etc. are similar to the rural customs in northern Anhui. After the 1930s, families with a little knowledge or new-style ladies mostly abandoned the old rituals and practiced civilized weddings.
But the rich and powerful all use cars or rickshaws to travel around the city, spending huge sums of money. But more lower-class citizens still make do with the simplicity and hold weddings in the old style.
When a daughter from a poor family gets married, she usually hires a small blue cloth sedan to carry her there, or walks to her husband's house, invites a few relatives and friends, and prepares four large dishes of wedding wine to celebrate. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, with the implementation of the Marriage Law, feudal weddings with worshiping heaven and earth as the main ceremony were abolished. Modern weddings such as wedding banquets, travel weddings, and collective weddings have become similar to those in cities across the country.
2. Old-style marriage customs: Combination of horoscopes. Regardless of whether they are rich or poor, families in the suburbs attach great importance to the zodiac signs of men and women and the horoscopes of birth. Wealthy businessmen, gentry, and scholarly families use red paper to write the zodiac signs "Guo Tie" (Guo Tie), while poor families ask matchmakers to communicate the two sides orally.
Fortune tellers charge several times more for "combined eight characters" than ordinary fortune tellers. Four popular matchmakers: For wealthy families in the suburbs, there are four matchmakers for an engagement, that is, each man and woman invites two matchmakers, who are respectively the main matchmaker and the accompanying matchmaker.
Relatives and family friends of both parties are often invited to act as matchmakers. Three days before the wedding, the groom's family prepares a bride's gift for the bride's family. Bengbu people call it "Shui Li", which means "the long flowing water never ends".
The gifts usually include two meat knives, two large carps, a pair of chickens, 24 large steamed buns with red dots on their heads, and 24 bottles of wine (or two jars of wine). Avoid odd numbers in all kinds of gifts; carp is the type of fish, avoid mixed fish or other fish, avoid chickens with white feathers; cut red paper to cover Double Happiness or stick red paper on the gifts.
Xijiagou, located in the western suburbs, was once a loading and unloading dock for mussels and pigs from other places. The custom here was to drive a live pig weighing 100 kilograms to the woman's house. When gifts are delivered to the girl's family, the girl's family will reward the gift-giver with money and organize a banquet to entertain them.
Before leaving, a piece of meat and a chicken should be given in return. This custom continues to this day.
The most simple dowry for a poor family to accompany their daughter is two large stools, two small stools, a small table, a basin stand, a toilet with a shelf, and bedding, which is called "The picky one." The nursery rhyme goes "The little sister is a burden, and when she grows up she has to ask her brother for a suitcase", which refers to this situation.
This custom arose from the bad habit of sending wedding invitations indiscriminately. The groom's family chooses a certain date for the wedding, and uses this happy event to show that he is widely socialized and has a prominent status. Some men's families take this opportunity to receive wedding gifts in the hope of making money.
In addition to sending wedding invitations, some units also send invitation lists to units with many relatives, friends and acquaintances. The person at the top of the list has a deep friendship with the host. The invitees, out of favor, have to "join in" to send congratulatory gifts.
Sending fake gifts. In the early days of Huaiyuan, the street market gangsters took advantage of people's weddings and borrowed four wedding gifts from a familiar store to send congratulations to the happy host. With the gifts, they said that although their family was poor, they were rich. We are a family that has done a lot of good deeds, so we have to come to celebrate, so we are temporarily offering four wedding gifts from a certain store on credit to express our celebration. Although the people celebrating the wedding knew clearly that they were cheating them out of food and drink without being honest, they had no choice but to greet them with smiles in order to ensure a safe and peaceful celebration. In fact, they were just adding a pair of bowls and chopsticks to accompany the meal.
But these people were drunk and full, shouted "Excuse me", wiped their mouths, and walked away. After the wedding period is over, the owner has no choice but to return the original jade as a wedding gift to the store.
People who give fake gifts are called "ruffians" in the market. Marriage Marriage is divided into "waiting for marriage" and "leading marriage".
"Waiting for marriage" means that the groom will pick up the bride in a sedan chair and come to get married. This is the custom used by most families. Before the sedan is sent out, the groom's officials must kowtow and pay homage to the sedan. The groom's officials will get on and be carried away. When they return, the bride will get on.
The bride arrives at the bride’s home in a sedan chair and plays trumpets and other musical instruments to “invite her makeup”. Before the bride gets on the sedan chair, she cries loudly in memory of her parents, brothers and sisters, which is called "crying for marriage". Those who cry loudly are praised by others, while those who do not cry will be laughed at and scolded for being shameless for marrying.
This custom can still be seen after the founding of the People's Republic of China. "Getting married" means that the groom wears red and colorful clothes and takes a sedan chair to the bride's house to pick up the bride and get married.
To "get married" you need to hire a sedan and a small sedan. The groom goes to the bride's house to take the sedan, and the groom takes the small sedan. When returning, the bride sat in a sedan chair, and the groom followed the sedan chair. Someone gave him cakes to eat, and he kept his mouth empty along the way.
After the formation of the urban area, the custom of the bride returning to her parents' home to "live opposite the moon" after the full moon was gradually abolished. In the city, the bride usually returns home on the third day. There are also three or six days when someone from her natal family comes to visit the bride, and it takes nine or 12 days to take the bride back to her natal family.
And because many mother-in-laws and their families live only three to five miles apart in the city, their daughters can go home to visit them at any time after marriage, and there is no need to stay long. Attachment: Marriage customs of Huaihe boat people in the old days Huaihe boat people abide by the feudal etiquette very strictly, and because they live on boats, they are more different from urban and rural people on land.
On the wedding day, the matchmaker's boat (boat) goes first, the sedan boat is in the middle, and the bride's boat comes behind. When the boat is halfway across the waterway from her mother's house to her husband's house, the bride's brother or nephew on the wedding boat begins to shout, "Sister (or sister, aunt), please turn the mirror." The bride will turn the mirror on her chest forward, with the mirror facing inward. It means that blessings will first shine on the husband’s family and then on the natal family.
At this time, the boat that sent the bride off turned back. The man's wedding boat is sent by the matchmaker to welcome the bride in the morning. The boat must be rowed on the upper water of the woman's sedan chair. When it reaches the woman's boat, the congratulators use the boat to bring the woman's boat together. The matchmaker must use a red envelope to distribute the "mocking ceremony" "The two ships can then separate.
Amidst the sound of firecrackers, the bride puts on the clothes and shoes brought by her husband's family and puts on a hijab. Only then can the women of her family help her get into the sedan chair of the groom's family, and the dowry is also carried along. To worship heaven and earth, boat people use the port side as top and the starboard side as bottom.
The incense table is placed at the top for the memorial tablets of the ancestors. Parents and relatives sit at the top in order. The newlyweds sit on the bed together and drink jujube soup as a sign of morning.