It's completely different. Now she's not in the mood to listen to your jokes. You have to comfort her first. When she feels better, you can tell her jokes to cheer her up.
No one. How much, just make do with it;
There is a wedding couplet in the 1950s, the first couplet is "A good man joins the army with the aim of liberating Taiwan Island" and the second couplet is "Pretty women join the army all to capture Bald Chiang alive"
Five hundred years ago, you were my housekeeper. I fell in love with you that day when I peeked at you chopping wood from the window. Don’t blame me for not telling you at the time! Because there were no short messages back then!
No matter where you are, as long as you look up to the sky and smile, shout "I am a beauty" three times, I will appear in front of you.
The four major greens in the world: green grass, watermelon rind, and tortoise cover.
The sky is blue and the sea is deep. It is impossible for you and me to get married. If you are rich, we are still destined!
Forever is too cliché for rich men. Unreliable. My wife calls me to warn you if you don’t come home and report.
Tang Monk is assigning work under the Flame Mountain: "Wukong goes to borrow a banana fan, and Wujing goes to find water - Bajie "How come you still have time to read text messages?"
The wife said to her husband who slipped out of bed in the middle of the night that you don't have to suffer from sleepwalking tonight because the woman is traveling abroad
Eunuchs had them before, but not after they entered the palace. Monks had them but didn’t use them. Foreigners have longer ones than Chinese ones. Hit something on someone’s body? Don’t get it wrong, it’s a name!
Look up Looking at "Viagra", I look back and miss the girl.
He talks like Kong Fansen on stage, behaves like Wang Baosen off stage, meets the masses like Tyson, meets leaders like He Qian!
I will peel off your skin, twitch your tendons, dig out your liver, take out your lungs, pick out your heart, eat your flesh, drink your blood, and gnaw your bones!
I'm in love with your girlfriend. Really. I love you very much. What should I do? Brothers are like brothers and sisters, please disappear
I love you like a farmer loves rice! Rats love corn!
Q: Where will the bullet hit you without pain? Answer: Hit someone else. (Hey!)
Why are you crying? Don’t you understand it’s for money? If the rich man hadn't wanted to separate from me, my tears wouldn't have fallen, they would have fallen.
Why is it so dark? Because cows are flying in the sky. Why are cows flying? Because you are blowing on the ground.
Please don’t continue reading, otherwise you will regret it! Please contact your service provider if your SIM is locked! If I tell you not to read it, you won’t believe it!
My dear, you are going to be a mother soon. My husband would like to wish you in advance: Happy Mother’s Day!
People are distracted in the classroom. It is better to fall in love than to study. Studying is for college entrance examination, and falling in love is for the next generation!
Don’t move, rob! Do you understand robbery? Take out your sorrow, hand over your sadness, take out your troubles, take off your sadness! Replace it with the text message I provided worth a dime of RMB: Happy New Year!
The butterfly said to the bee: You are so stingy. You pretend to be full of sweet words but are reluctant to give them to me. Bee said: Humph, you are still talking about me. Why don’t you send me a text message with two such long antennas on your head?
I wish you: Destiny is like a peach blossom, wealth is like waves, love is like roses, life is like happiness, flowers are like morning glories, career is like climbing vines, if you have love, don’t be too distracted, if you have money, don’t spend it randomly, and make a fortune. Give me some flowers.
Don’t move! Underworld inspection! Those who know me stand on the left, those who don’t know me stand on the right! Those who wanted to laugh stood in the middle, while others stared at their phones! right! Just you! Put down your phone and hold your head in your hands! Listen; make me happy on New Year's Day!
The bells are my greetings, the songs are my blessings, the snowflakes are my greeting cards, the wine is my blowing kisses, and the breeze is my gift! All given to you, I wish you a happy New Year! A better new year!
God releases snowflakes to let you put your troubles away; cold wind closes the windows to let you spread warmth; I send my blessings and greetings to make your coming year smoother. I wish you in advance Happy New Year!
I have booked the first ray of sunshine for you next year and wish you happiness! I have booked the first morning breeze for you tomorrow morning and wish you all the best! I have reserved the first bird song for you, I wish you happiness! I have ordered my first gift for you, and wish you a happy New Year!
Condensing this message, I wish you a Merry Christmas!
26. Don’t move! You have been protected by blessings, put down your worries immediately and surrender to the hurdles. All your sorrows will be confiscated and you will be sentenced to one hundred years of happiness. You will be sent to Happy Island and will be supervised and executed by good luck!
The low temperature will not subside this year, and you will suffer from the cold every day. Pay attention to cherish yourself, don’t be too tired when studying, eat more fruits when you have nothing to do, go to someone to meditate at night, don’t be anxious or angry when something happens, nourishing the heart and lungs is precious. For you and me, revolutionary comrades, the above reminder is free!
28Thank you CCTV! MTV, thank you to my agency, thank you to mommy and daddy, and thank you to all the fans who support me. I am able to be loved by everyone, and I am here to say happy day to you who are so silly.
29 .More happiness, less worries; no matter how much money you have, just be happy every day; what is life like? You have to season it yourself! Let yourself be happy and worry-free! Have a great weekend!
30. The little flies on the roadside are rotten apples. The father fly happened to pass by and said to the little fly: The government advises us to pay attention to personal hygiene to prevent diseases from entering the mouth. Don’t eat rotten apples again. Come back. Eat shit at home. (This article is free)]
31. When you wake up in the morning, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is an art letter next to it: I struggled all night but could not pierce your face, you are so thick-skinned He dyed me so shameless that I could live in this world. Lord, please forgive him. I committed suicide.
32. Weather forecast: From tonight to tomorrow, I want to punch you a little bit, and it is expected that I will kick you in the afternoon. Affected by this emotion, I will want to humiliate you in the evening, and my mood will be 35 degrees excited. It is expected that this day The weather will last until you treat us
33. Legend has it that ghosts reappear tonight, and ghosts are scurrying around. May they listen to my call and come quietly to you, with pale faces and dry green eyes. I caress your face with my hand and say to you gently: If you want good skin, use Dabao sooner or later
34. Life is short, friendship is pure, meeting is a wish, knowing each other is a duty, meeting and knowing each other is fate , A wish is a friend, a wish is a confidant, a wish is God's will, and a duty depends on people. I send a gentle greeting and wish my friends a happy every day.
35. The morning is the beginning of happiness, and the evening is the end of troubles. Sunny days will illuminate your brilliant mood, and rainy days will wash away all your sorrows. Whether it is morning or evening, rain or shine, I wish you happiness every day!
36. Give you a piece of beauty to make you laugh! I will give you a blessing to make you proud; I will give you a happiness to make you immortal; I will give you a dream to make you happy! Sending a true love without reciprocating it·Sending a safe one is reliable 1
37. The weather has changed so quickly, and the cold wave is coming quietly. Because of your cuteness, I care for you and cover you with a blanket at night. Don't freeze the pig's feet. Just pick up a bone. That can replenish calcium. Don't scold me for being too bad. I wish you a happy day./
38. I give my love to my close friend, but I hope my sincerity can make you happy, and forgive my unintentionality for occasionally making you sad. I hope my sincerity can touch your heart. I hope my sincerity can make you happy in everything.
39. The piglet has four wishes: all the fences around it will fall down, pig feed will fall from the sky, the whole country will believe in Islam, and all the butchers will die. The piglet will be happy to jump around while reading the message. giggle.
40. Loneliness means thinking of you; when I lose my memory, I want to see you; when I am helpless, I want to rely on you; when I cry, I want to hold you. It’s all in three words: I miss you so much.
41. Occasionally, when I meet you, your eyes sparkle at me. When encountering this embarrassing situation, I don’t dare to change my attitude. I want to draw a clear line with you with my eyes. I don’t want you to open your mouth and kiss me. My will, my God! Whose big wolf dog is not chained
42. My heart beats when I see you. I am hopeless. Only when you are by my side can I sleep peacefully. I laugh even in my dreams when I think about you. Who else can I do except you? Don't even want it, whether you are moved to tears or not, I'm actually talking about banknotes. Haha...
43. I have countless friends in the past, but after thinking about it, you are still the coolest. I have searched for you thousands of times in my dreams, and I look back silently, but you are still in my donkey shed, eating grass and sitting next to you. As I kept counting, my tail couldn't stop swaying. It turns out you were chewing on my tree. Damn it.
44. You haven’t been doing very well recently, and you won’t have much contact with me next year. Please apologize to me as soon as possible and treat me to a meal. If you don’t hurry up, I’ll see you on the wall with your mobile phone number. Add 'marriage hotline' and add 'no conditions required'
45 No matter how many greetings you have received, I still offer you my sincere blessings. No matter how much happiness you are embracing, I still pray silently for you. May Beauty, happiness, success, and wealth will always be with you!
46. Busy life takes away time for knowledge, so always care about your friends at the bottom of your heart. Occasionally Issei returns with a New Year greeting and a blessing, so that we only remember each other. I wish you all the best
47 There are hundreds of flowers in the spring, looking at the moon in the autumn; there is a cool breeze in the summer and listening to studies in the winter; if there are no worries in your heart, it is a good time in life; I hope you have lightness in the morning and leisure in the curtain; Dreams follow your heart! The heart follows the dream
48. A trace of sincerity is worth a thousand taels of gold. A touch of warmth can withstand thousands of miles of frost; a greeting brings warmth and sweetness; a text message brings all my thoughts. Take good care of yourself in busy days!
49. Let the wind blow away your sorrow, let the rain wash away your troubles, let the sun bring you warmth, let the moon bring you warmth, let love bring you happiness, let friendship bring you happiness. I send you happy text messages to make you happy
50. The moon is full, and the fragrance is more fragrant. I wish you better health. The fish are swimming and the birds are singing. I wish you laugh every day. I have a glass of wine in my hand. I wish you the best. There are good clouds every day, more joy and less sorrow, I hope you will have a better tomorrow
51. Butterflies fly, dragonflies chase, there are a lot of trivial matters; watch the flying swallows, look forward to people returning, drink many cups of wine when you meet a close friend ; Life is like a promise, we will stay together in death, seize the fate and let go; the clouds chase the moon and blow the willows. May we be friends forever
51. Fate; let me meet you; happiness: let me know you; happiness : Let me get to know you; Concern: Let me miss you; Message: I have to send it to you
52. Give you eleven new things: feel comfortable in the morning, go out smoothly, be careful on the road, be patient when things happen, do things well Be careful, make friends attentively, treat others with sincerity, have confidence in yourself, love your lover, be happy when you go home, and have peace of mind at night
53. Wu: 366237940
54. Don’t be affected by the change of seasons I won’t miss you because of the long journey, I won’t alienate you because of my busyness, and I won’t forget you because of the erosion of time. You will always be a friend deep in my heart. In the days when the leaves are falling, take care of yourself
55. Beating you to death with a stick will take too much effort; stabbing you with a knife will cause you to see blood; poisoning you, there are too many fake medicines; I’ll electrocute you to death; the electricity bill is too high; I’ll drown you; maybe you can still swim, forget it, I’ll just miss you to death
56 Getting to know each other is sometimes a matter of God’s will, no matter how deep the wish is or how shallow the fate is. You and I should cherish each other, don’t look away, no matter you are happy or sad, remember that I am willing to share with you, no matter how far away you are, there is my blessing
57 The best message is always I give it to you first. I always want to share my best mood with you and my deepest blessings, but I don’t want to send them to you. This time is no exception. May your mood be like a clear sky and a beautiful sun, and be endlessly happy
58 people Just like a house, friends are windows. The more windows there are, the more moon the house has. I am the biggest window facing the sun. Spring brings you the fragrance of flowers, summer brings you coolness, autumn brings you refreshing air, and winter brings you sunshine. I wish you every day. Everyone is in a good mood
59. I didn’t mean to make you angry yesterday. How about giving you a chance to vent your anger on me now? He took out a hundred-yuan bill, folded it in half, folded it in half, and then threw it at me.
zhufu.
60. There are only three days in life: yesterday, today Tomorrow, I wish you that yesterday was worth remembering, that you can make full use of today, and that tomorrow will be full of opportunities. I sincerely wish you: happy yesterday, smooth today, and all the best tomorrow
61. I was too ridiculous last night, how could I do this to you? Are you so rude and rude to do such a thing? I sincerely apologize to you and ask for your forgiveness: I really shouldn’t have… snatched your lollipop.
62. A new journey is about to begin. I hope you will cherish and work hard in your youthful days, give your sincerity to the years, and give to the seasons without regrets.
63. We share the past time together; we cherish each other for the future journey! The autumn wind suddenly blows. I wish my friends to make further progress in their studies!
64 passed through black June, passed through red July, passed through blue August, and ushered in golden September. A lucky month for all students has arrived. I wish you to reach the next level. Lou!
The first ray of sunshine in the morning of 65 is my deepest blessing to you. The last blush of the setting sun is my sincere greeting to you: [How are you, fool.
]
66. When Newton was hit by an apple, he discovered gravity; when Columbus sailed around the world, he discovered the New World; when you look in the mirror, wow! You have discovered a primitive man!
67. Give you a happy flower, keep it in your mobile phone, it will bring you good luck! But remember to sprinkle some water on your phone frequently. The flowers inside need to be watered!
68. A woman taught her child a lesson: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the tigers! The hungry tiger who came out to look for food heard it. The hungry tiger waited all night and said: Humans are so hypocritical! These old ladies don’t mean what they say!
69. You see my infatuation in your eyes, you remember my diligence in your eyes, my true love stays in your eyes, I gaze deeply into your eyes, wow! What a big piece of eye droppings!
70. I heard that you were abducted and trafficked, which really scared me. Although you are a child, you are harmless to society. Who is so bold and dares to sell you? I am really worried for him. , it would be weird to sell it!
71. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to be lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to stay young forever? ——Stop thinking nonsense, wash your feet and go to sleep!
72. Wash your hands before eating and after using the toilet, line up to get in the car and go one by one. If you want a girlfriend, shout out loud after reading the text message!
73.. When you see this text message, I have already left. I will travel to the ends of the world until I find a medicine that can cure your disease of giggling when you see this text message!
74. Lying in bed and reading the letter you wrote to me, the sadness in my heart surged. The words in the letter stung my heart like an ice pick. The letter said: The money will be returned to you next month!
75. God said that it takes 5,000 glances back in the past life to pass us by in this life. Good friends like us in this life, past lives...previous lives...have looked back.
76. I give you a couplet: the first couplet means thinking of you in the wind and rain; the second couplet means falling in love with you sincerely. The horizontal batch is: the wrong information was sent.
77. If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; if there is no air, there will be no breathing; if there is no sun, the moon will not have light; if there is no you... fool will not exist.
78. Without you, I am lonely. I feel so lost when I can’t see you. I want to say I love you, but I am not qualified. I miss you so much, it’s a bit too much! When I see you, I want to touch you hard, Nanfeng. What a fool!
79. From now on, I will only hit you, abuse you, and only lie to you. If you are happy, I will make you sad; if you are unhappy, I will be super happy.
80. If a drop of water represents a blessing, I will give you the East China Sea; if a spoonful of honey represents a longing, I will give you a hornet's nest, a small sample, to sting you to death.
81. You are the most beautiful in my eyes: a hooked nose and a toad's mouth, a bucket waist and elephant legs, with a mouth on one side of the nose and drooling on the other.
82. I saw you that day. You were sitting in the sun, feeling so uncomfortable. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: "Keep your voice down, no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!
83. I am willing to take care of you for the rest of my life, and I am willing to take care of your meals. I care about you and want to protect you from being bullied, but please can you go back to the pigsty first?
84. Tang Monk was kidnapped. In order to demand a ransom, the bandit called Sun Wukong’s cell phone, but he couldn’t get through. He asked Tang Seng: What is Zhu Bajie’s number? Tang Seng: I have sent it a text message and it is reading it.
85. The dung beetle is in love with the mosquito. Lang: What is your profession? Injection person, how about you? The beetle smiled and said: Colleague, I am a pill maker in a traditional Chinese medicine bureau.
86. The fart is the residual air in the abdomen. This air swims around and has to escape. The one who farts is proud, the one who hears is dejected! Please stop farting!
87. The floating clouds are the traces of me missing you; the twinkling stars are the feeling of missing you; the falling rain is the feeling of missing you! It’s evidence that I miss you; there are thunder and lightning, which is me praying to the sky for you to be hit!
88. I have one candy, I will give it to you, I wish you happiness! One pill for each of us, we are happy together! I have three pills, all for you, I want you to have more cavities than me!
What is the moving company doing every day? The only meeting that can be unanimously approved by shareholders and directors? Banquet. Which god is reading the text message?
90. Do you like to eat duck butt? Putting it into my mouth, I asked: Why is there no duck butt? You pointed to your mouth and said:
91. It is estimated that you will make a fortune today. Hair style, patched clothes, holding a wooden stick in the right hand, holding a porcelain bowl in the left hand, walking along the street, saying: OK!
92. I thought there was a better one, but finally found out. The best is by my side, just like you. I didn’t take you seriously at first, but as time went by I realized that you were the best to bully!
93. I really want to leave the world with you and go to a green mountain. I live in a secluded place with clear water. There is only you and me, and there is a green grassland in front of me. I lie on the grass and watch you... eating grass!
94. I dreamed of you, the sky is so beautiful. Mingjing, the sun is so bright, the sea is so blue, you stand on the beach, I poke you with a stick: Hey, this little bastard, the shell is quite hard.
95. When you are empty and lonely, a pencil is your best friend. You can cut it with a knife and sharpen it. At the same time, you can vent yourself and shout: I kill the pen, I kill the pen, I Kill the pen.
96. I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just so that one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you and I will not be able to crush you. Even if you live in vain.
97. A man and a woman walked under a tree to watch the meteor shower. Man: Did you see it? Woman: I see it! A man walked out from behind the tree holding up his pants and said: If you see it, just see it. What are you shouting about?
98. Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; my love is deeper than Lu Zhishen, my love is longer than Guan Yunchang; but my promise is empty than Sun Wukong.
99. Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You are wearing a plaid vest and walking slowly. You are so cute. I wonder how you could beat the rabbit back then?
100.1 Fall in love at first sight but no second heart, I have loved you for three lifetimes, I dreamed of you four times in one night, my five senses have left me with no owner, my heart is up and down and I can’t calm down, say 10 words : I sent it wrong!
101. If you mess with me again, I will block you economically, isolate you politically, torture you mentally, destroy you physically, abandon you in life, and let the whole country condemn you! Look how arrogant you are!
102. A bean fell down and became discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called Pig Encouragement Bean.
103. Pigs and dogs are the jailers of the animal kingdom. They imprisoned the text message one day and escaped the text message the next day. The warden held the dog accountable, and the dog said aggrievedly: I was resting yesterday, and it was the pig who read the text message. .
104. You look really creative, and it takes a lot of courage to live. No one is satisfied with being born like this, but God lost his temper. Without you, who would bring out the beauty of the world?
105. You are carrying forward the past and advancing with the times. You always represent the direction of advanced feeding technology, the road to high-quality feed sources, and the highest level of meat supply! Revolutionary pig!
106. Just came back and was told that you had been kicked out! You have been busy all day, but you ended up like this. I am sad and understand: it is really disturbing to have such a big ant flying around the office!
107. Wearing a "Tiger and Leopard" shirt, a "Bird of Fortune" suit, "Septwolves" pants, and "Golden Monkey" leather shoes will eventually earn you the first cheer in your life: You look so alike. People!
108. Plant one tree and beg God to bless you; plant two trees and beg God to love you; plant three trees and beg God to forgive you; plant ten trees and beg God! Be careful if it passes by and kills you.
109. Sha Seng: I have sixteen transformations; Bajie: I have thirty-two transformations; Wukong: I have seventy-two transformations; Tang Monk: Why didn’t I see you transforming into a mobile phone on the road? The monsters are using their mobile phones to read text messages!
120. Jade Emperor: Now the court in heaven is open to hear the case of Erlang Shen’s barking dog raping Chang’e’s Jade Rabbit, and the defendant is called! Hey! Roaring Sky Dog! Calling you! Still reading text messages! Still giggling!
121. It is said that there are gold arrows, iron arrows, and bronze arrows, but you must learn silver arrows! There are eighteen kinds of martial arts and 360 moves, but you have to learn Drunken Arrow, so the famous one appeared in the world: Drunken Silver Arrow!
122. It’s just a gust of wind, but it’s so eternal. It’s just a dream, but it’s so real. You lower your head and say nothing, but I can’t help but say to you: I’ll fart next time. Say it!
123. I used to be just an ordinary knight, until that day I saw you, the most mysterious person in the world, and accidentally called out your name, so people in the world respectfully called me - Zhizhuxia!
124. Your singing voice and sentimental expression touched my heart. I almost vowed to love you for ten thousand years, but I didn’t dare! Because you sang "I Will Become You When I Grow Up" to a pig.
125. I liked Teresa Teng and died; I liked Weng Meiling and committed suicide; I liked Chen Baiqiang and fell to death; I liked Leslie Cheung and jumped off the building. I like you and you have to decide what to do!
126. Look at your mouse eyes, hooked nose, splayed eyebrows, windy ears, wick neck, high and low shoulders, long and short hands, chicken breasts, dog belly, rice bucket waist, go back to Mars quickly, the earth is very dangerously.
127. As a human being, you should pay attention to: 1. Remove the harp, harp, hairpin and hairpin. 2. Gun, 銈氕尠夤鄀鄄. 3. Terbium, chlorine, chlorine, 鼙餍饴. Huh? I don’t understand! You have suffered the consequences of being uneducated in this life!
128. I am Xiaoqian. I died in a car accident three years ago. My head was hit and lost. It has not been found yet. I just found my head hanging in front of your window. Please help me get it.
129. I know you care about hygiene. You wash your hands every time you go to the toilet, and you wash them very carefully.
Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You answer: I brought paper this time!
130. When I read the text message you sent me, I finally understood how much emotion you put into me! So unforgettable! You can't forget me! I decided: shut down and piss you off!
131. I pay for your happiness; I make up for your confusion; I satisfy your greed; I give in to your willfulness; Who loves you the most is me; I am the one who nurtures you. Pig professional!
132. Do you believe in fate? In the vast sea of ??people, you are so special, let my eyes follow you, maybe my soul is really connected, you are really walking towards me. Go away, beggar!
133. Do you know that I miss you! When I couldn't receive your message, I tried hanging myself with noodles because of excessive sadness; smashing my head with tofu; using vitamin C as poison; crashing a bumper car into a mountain and jumping off a building with a parachute!
135. I love you, I miss you so much, I want to have sex with you so much, but I have no money. Will you wait for me? When I have money, I will pick you up. Can you wait for me? I love tea!
136. I miss you when I am lost, I want you when I am lonely, having you is my endless happiness, you are the love I pursue in this life, but you left when I was poor, come back! Lovely RMB!
137. It is not a sin for a man to drink, drink, drink. Even good people have the right to get drunk.
Even being drunk is a kind of beauty, why do you have to pretend to be so hypocritical! Dude, you’re in for a treat tonight!
138. I want to go mountain climbing, hoping to meet you in the early morning, who is as beautiful and pure as a forest elf, but I am worried that my heavy breathing will scare you away. Are you a grasshopper or a cricket?