In ancient my country, there was a theory of "six rites", and this custom is also found in some areas today. The six rites are to accept gifts, ask for names, accept auspiciousness, accept levies, ask for an appointment, and personally welcome. In fact, the folk wedding customs in various regions are not completely limited by these six rituals. It simplifies the process of blind date and engagement. Modern wedding customs
For example , put the request date (agreement on the wedding date) and Naji (gift and engagement). More attention is paid to the ceremonial processes such as the wedding ceremony (where the bride and groom drink a glass of wine), the bridal chamber ceremony, and the "return to the door" after the wedding.
In ancient times, the man posted a post. The basic steps for posting the post were: after the man obtained the woman’s birthday and horoscope through the hands of a matchmaker, he placed it in a place with a divination meaning at home, such as pressing it under the incense burner or placing it under the incense burner. Place it in front of the statue of the god and wait for three days. If everyone at home is safe during these three days, it means that the marriage has obtained the consent of the god and the divination has been successful. If an accident occurs during these three days, even if the ruins bowl is broken, the birth date must be returned to the woman, and the marriage will not be successful. In some places, after getting the woman's horoscope, a fortune teller is asked to compare it. If the man and woman's horoscopes match, the marriage proposal is successful. Modern people often use the second type, especially when parents are dating their children. After passing the horoscope level, the man will post. The names and birthdays of both men and women are written side by side on the post on red paper and sent to the girl's home. The bride's family accepted the post and expressed their agreement to the marriage. The purpose of taking horoscopes and posting posts is to "observe God's will." This wedding custom represents the concept of "marriage is destined."
In the wedding stage, the dowry prepared by the woman is mostly pairs of quilts, clothes, cabinets, etc. On their wedding day and in the early morning before the wedding, the bride and groom will go to their respective homes to "go to the top", that is, they will choose a lucky old man to comb their hair and say some auspicious words.
The bride also needs to have her face opened and her eyebrows smoothed. In the Hui'an area, when the groom is combing his hair, the old man who combs his hair will take the hand of a young boy and comb the groom's head three times with a comb and a lice grate respectively, saying: "Three times with the wooden comb and three times with the lice grate." Give birth to a large number of children and grandchildren."
The toilet in the new house caused a boy to urinate on the wedding day. Sprinkle longan and lotus seeds on the new bed. Peanuts, dates and other auspicious fruits.
When the groom leads the sedan chair to the door of the house in the south, the custom in some places requires the mother-in-law to take the daughter-in-law through the road paved with sacks in the courtyard, and the sacks behind her are constantly passed to the front to be stepped on. This is called Pass on the seeds (clan) from generation to generation. (treat). Some people have to step over a brazier to avoid evil spirits.
When the couple worships in the church, the host recites a congratulatory message loudly, and in some places they have to eat cakes for their children and grandchildren, drink Hehe soup, etc.
In ancient times, women were often "born in a boudoir, unknown to anyone, and no one knew whether they were beautiful or beautiful." After the matchmaker makes a deal, the man often requests to take a look. This kind of activity, in which the man goes to the woman's home for the first time with the help of the matchmaker, is called "marriage viewing". It is commonly known as "blind date".
The date of the blind date is predetermined by the matchmaker and notified to both men and women, so both parties must be prepared. The man should prepare some gifts according to the hobbies of the woman's parents; the woman should clean the courtyard and prepare to receive guests. As parties involved, both men and women should dress up as elegantly and glamorously as possible in order to give each other a good "first impression."
Visiting the bride is a key link in the success of a marriage, especially for the man, who must treat it with caution. Although the gifts are nothing more than tobacco, alcoholic drinks and snacks, it does not matter whether they are large in quantity or high in value, but they must be suitable for the recipient and must not violate the taboos of the other person's parents; the clothes must be generous and fashionable; the words and deeds must be modest and courteous. In ancient times, when going to see a bride, a man could only let the matchmaker create an opportunity to secretly glance at the girl. But now it is different. Both men and women can meet and talk directly. Both parties have the opportunity to get a preliminary understanding of the other party.
China is a "land of etiquette and justice" and pays attention to implicitness. The results of seeing a prostitute are often not expressed directly, but expressed with various hints. In many places, after the man enters the house, the girl's parents first pour the young man a cup of hot tea. The young man sees that the girl likes it, so he drinks the tea in one sip. Then the girl's parents discuss with the girl, and if they agree to get married, they The man is left to have dinner with the matchmaker. If he doesn't agree, he is allowed to leave and go home. Some parents even ask the matchmaker to take away the meeting gift brought by the man.
In some areas, in addition to visiting relatives, there is also the custom of "visiting other people's homes". "Visiting someone else's family" is actually also a marriage visit. The man is led by a matchmaker to the woman after she has seen the girl. The woman's parents do not express their opinion on the marriage for the time being, and then the matchmaker leads them back to the groom's home. The Qiyang area is called "Kandang". At that time, the man's parents should first offer a cup of fragrant tea and then talk to the woman's parents. The wife's parents inspect the groom's house and talk with the groom's parents. If they approve of the marriage, they drink all the fragrant tea. The groom's parents immediately treat the couple as "in-laws" and entertain the guests warmly. Otherwise, the girl's parents should get up and say goodbye, and the boy should not force himself to stay as a guest.
Guo Li Chapter
After "looking at the bride" and "looking at the marriage", the engagement procedures must be performed, commonly known as "Guo Li".
The third part of "Guo Li" The first step is for the matchmaker to send the man's birth date to the woman, and the woman's birth date to the man. Some superstitious parents, who think they are responsible for their children's marriage, often ask a fortune teller to calculate it after receiving the red invitation. , see if the "birthdays and horoscopes" of both parties are consistent. If not, the marriage must be reconsidered.
Fortunately, most modern people no longer believe in this, so even if they exchange red posts, it is often just a formality, and some even do not even need to exchange red posts.
After "exchanging posts" and "combining horoscopes", the matchmaker should choose a good day to take the man to "ceremony" to get engaged. "Gifts" are a big deal. Generally, the person initiating the marriage (whether male or female) has to give a heavy gift to the other party. The gift must include at least a pig knuckle, a pair of wine, one chicken and duck, and one piece of clothing for the other party's parents. set. A pair of shoes and socks, a package, and some things for the girl. How much money to include in the package (called "pocket money" locally) and what kind of engagement gifts to give to the girl are usually negotiated separately by the matchmaker and both parties in advance, and cannot be determined by the man (or woman). Of course, the man's or woman's parents should also try to be considerate of each other, strive to be more frugal, and accept less betrothal gifts.
After the "ceremony", both men and women can agree on a date, go to the local government to apply for a marriage certificate, and formally confirm the marriage relationship. Modern regulations stipulate that both men and women must go to the hospital for a pre-marital examination before receiving a marriage certificate; some areas (mainly cities) require pre-marriage classes. These are effective measures to ensure good health and good education and the quality of the population, and should be followed and implemented.
Choosing a Good Luck
After the marriage certificate is obtained, the man and woman have legally established a legal relationship as husband and wife. However, in China, this is only the first step of the wedding event. According to traditional practice, the parents of the person who takes the initiative in getting married should choose a good and auspicious day for the marriage, and the matchmaker should notify the other party to prepare for the marriage. It is called "choosing auspicious days" and "sending days".
To choose auspicious dates, you usually consult astrology scholars or fortune tellers, or you can choose the date by yourself by reading the "Tongshu" (commonly known as the "Almanac", commonly known as the "Jiajia Calendar", and traditionally called the "Imperial Calendar"). Those with a high level of education can make their own calculations. It is generally believed that as long as the "Liuhe" corresponds, it will be a good day. Such as "Bingyin Day" and so on.
After the date selection is completed and the two parties have determined the wedding date, it is time to send out wedding invitations and invite relatives and friends to attend the wedding.
Invitations are usually delivered to relatives and friends in person by the person getting married or his parents. After receiving the invitation to the wedding banquet, relatives and friends should generally come to the door to congratulate you, except in special circumstances where you can only send gifts and not attend. Before congratulating, you must first prepare gifts. The amount of the gift depends on the relationship between the person and the host, the depth of the friendship, and the person's financial conditions.
Most of the gifts given to the woman are in kind, but some are replaced by red envelopes, which is called "marriage assistance." Household items are mostly boxes, cabinets, beds, quilts, tableware, clothing materials, etc. Gifts for the woman are often given by relatives and friends on their own initiative upon hearing the news, without waiting for the invitation to arrive. Because the woman’s parents have to decide the scale of the “wedding wine” based on the number of gift-givers.
Wedding Chapter
The wedding day is approaching. Both men and women have to kill pigs and chickens to prepare for the wedding banquet. They also need to invite chefs, best groomsmen, bridesmaids, floats, accountants, masters and Other handymen who help their colleagues with work. After these people apply for the job, they should go to the host's house to start work the day before the wedding and make preparations for the wedding banquet.
Traditional weddings usually involve "wedding wine" at the bride's family in the morning and a wedding banquet at noon at the groom's family; if it is a son-in-law (recruiting a husband - the man comes to the bride's family), the reverse is true.
After everything is ready, the groom's family fires cannons and plays music, and sends out a sedan to welcome the bride. The matchmaker takes the lead, followed by the groom, bridesmaids, float, band, and gift box team.
The bride’s family must prepare for the wedding banquet before the float arrives. The girl's mother or sister must comb her hair, use silk thread to remove the velvet on her face, put on makeup, which is called "opening her face", then decorate her face with a phoenix crown and harem, cover her head with a red cloth, and wait for the wedding float.
As soon as the float arrived, the female family members happily fired cannons to welcome it. After the bridegroom's procession entered the main room of the bride's family, the groom bowed to his father-in-law and mother-in-law and presented a red wedding note written in his father's name. Then came the hostess's feast. During the banquet, the matchmaker and the groom should be more careful, because there are many unwritten customs among Chinese people. During the three days of the wedding, the ordinary and junior teenagers among relatives and friends can inventively stage a few small dramas on the matchmaker and groom. Comedy is called "washing the matchmaker" and "hanging the red" (commonly known as "He Xinke" in the countryside). The bride’s sister-in-law might hide half a bowl of chili noodles under the rice bowl for the groom (Xiao Y, just accept your fate! Just eat it like an authentic Sichuan dish); the bride’s sister will specially rub a handful for her brother-in-law when pouring wine. The ashes at the bottom of the pot... The matchmaker and groom should tolerate these little farces that can increase the joyful atmosphere - although they may as well "treat others in their own way" and take a small revenge, but But you must not get angry, angry, or even quarrel or fight with the host and guest.
After the breakfast banquet, the bride and groom, under the guidance of the matchmaker, salute to the bride’s ancestral tablets and elders, and then the bridesmaid can help the bride onto the float. When getting in the car, the bride may wish to cry a few times to show her attachment to her parents and family.
After the bride gets on the car, music is played and cannons are fired, and the sedan is started to get married. When the bride leaves the car, she often gives a red envelope to the driver (bearer) in order to make the bearer drive more steadily.
When the wedding team is about to arrive at the groom’s house, the groom’s family will fire cannons to welcome them. The float stops in front of the groom's house. The bridesmaid (usually a young and beautiful woman) invited by the groom's family should step forward to open the door and help the bride out of the car. The groomsmen will step forward to praise the bride and groom, and the guests will scatter flowers to the groom and bride ( There are as many colorful ribbons as there are sprays of snow, etc.), pushing the wedding to a climax.
The church visit
The church visit is the climax of the wedding.
On the wedding day, after the groom’s family leaves, the groomsmen will arrange a place for worship in the main room of the groom’s family.
When the float stops in front of the door and the bridesmaids invited by the man get off the car, the ceremony begins. On the incense table, cigarettes are lingering, red candles are burning high, and relatives, friends, and staff are taking their places.
The two best men appeared as "Yin Zan" and "Tong Zan" respectively and began to praise.
The bride and groom began to worship with the Yin Zan and Tong Zan.
The procedure of the worship ceremony is as follows:
Introduction of praise: the groom comes to his seat
Tongzhi: the arrival of the couple.
Introduction of praise: the groom bows (invites the bride with his hands)
Introduction of praise: the bridegroom and bride take their seats (in front of the incense table)
Play music and fire cannons
Tongzan: The bride and groom offer incense and candles (to the gods and ancestral tablets)
Yinzan: Kneel down and offer incense and candles. Light a candle, burn incense, offer incense, prostrate, rise, and return to a flat position.
Tongzan: Kneel down, kowtow, kowtow again, kowtow three times, Xing.
Then, comes the traditional "Three Bows" - "One to heaven and earth, two to parents, husband and wife to each other" and finally "introduction to the bridal chamber". The worship ceremony ends here.