It is difficult to get married twice unless you are widowed, or at least one of them is married, and both of them are married. It is rare to have a long and good life.
Therefore, a marriage must be fully defended. Don't say that I am stuck in the past and my mind is not open. It is very difficult for a good master to repair damaged objects, not to mention that he can only rely on himself for mental damage.
Think about it. Why are you afraid of getting married?
Generally speaking, men and women fear marriage for different reasons.
Fear of marriage, a woman, is afraid to try love again and step into marriage because of her emotional injury. The other part is because of the diversity of social phenomena. I am afraid that my marriage will also be affected by violence, gambling, keeping mistresses and other events. The last part of the reason may be that parents are unhappy in marriage and worry that their marriage will also be affected.
To sum up, I am extremely unconfident, afraid of losing, afraid of change, and afraid of not being able to create happiness.
Men's fear of marriage is partly self-confidence, but relatively speaking, they don't have a stable and substantial economic foundation and can't give their marriage a practical guarantee, which is the reason for their fear of marriage.
They are afraid to get married, the bigger reason is that they are afraid that they can't bear the responsibility of their husbands. In their mind, men must earn money to support their families and hold up a big umbrella for their wives and children.
So how to overcome the fear of getting married?
First: first of all, believe in yourself and believe that you have the ability to deal with problems. Marriage is combined because of love, and divorce is a normal phenomenon. As long as it is handled properly, love and marriage will still be fruitful.
Second: stay away from those negative energy people around you. If someone always tells you that marriage is painful, can you still believe that marriage will bring happiness?
Third: A happy marriage is the result of two people's joint efforts. When you are afraid of marriage, communicate with your partner well, and maybe her simple words will dissolve a big knot in your heart. Face up to problems, communicate well, and enhance mutual trust and security.
Fourth: If fear of marriage is psychologically serious, he can go to a hospital and seek the help of a psychological counselor. Professional psychological counseling can make you relax and adjust your state in time.
Explain your confusion from my perspective!
Don't demonize the fear of marriage. Both men and women will feel a little uneasy about the unknown and longing of marriage when they enter marriage. This is normal. As long as they plan their married life well, they all love each other faithfully and attentively. Run a good family. As feelings become more harmonious and intimate, the fear in my heart will disappear.
Come on, friends who are about to get married. I wish you happiness [rose] [rose] [rose] to see you [like]
"The most fundamental reason for being afraid of marriage is inferiority, worrying about whether one's ability can withstand the pressure brought by the family, worrying about whether one's other half will finish this marriage with oneself, and all kinds of worries, fears, sensitivities and paranoia. When these questions have no answers, the unknown will bring us fear. Why do you say inferiority? Because we look at the problem from a pessimistic perspective, such as children from single-parent families, it is easy for children to become afraid of marriage because their parents did not give them correct guidance and ideas when they grow up. For example, the family environment where we grew up met with violence or cold violence, and when we grow up, we are easy to face the fear of getting married or forming a family with the other half. There must be factors behind the fear of one thing, and there can be no unwarranted fear. Then let's find ourselves. What are we worried about? Is it worth it? If you can't find it, then face up to your own problems, correct your inferiority complex, face your own problems bravely, and don't hide it if you really want to solve it. Because the first step to solve the problem is to find the problem. When you cover up these things, you can't correct them.
Of course you can overcome it, as long as you are confident and willing to do it.
What are you afraid of?
Afraid that the other party will cheat?
You are serious about human nature. Anyone will be shaken by temptation, but one characteristic that distinguishes people from animals is self-discipline. Knowing the importance of family and dismissing his despicable cheating behavior, he or she will restrain himself. This is not only about each other, but also about ourselves. So if you are afraid of his cheating, there is really no need to worry, because worrying is useless. This is a struggle for self-humanity, not the concern of others.
Afraid of losing love?
Passion is only a few years, and it will tend to be dull in the future. But how to find the warmth, joy and strength given by the other party in the dull days requires self-reflection and continuous discovery. Keep a contented heart to appreciate each other, even if there is no passion, there is a bowl of hot soup in winter.
Fear of domestic violence? Keep your eyes open before marriage and see each other's nature clearly. If you can't find it, please leave him decisively for the first domestic violence after marriage. Of course, when two people quarrel, they can't choose the other party to speak more radical language to provoke the other party. Even if there is no domestic violence, those words that hurt people will be bombs that hurt people after they calm down.
Afraid that one day love will stop?
Who stipulates that love must last a lifetime? When you get to know each other, it may be because of the different ways of squeezing toothpaste, which will make both sides quarrel. Everything is changing and love is no exception. It is not easy for two people to meet, know each other and fall in love, so please treat each other well and don't bully each other. This society is already struggling, how can one's lover embarrass himself?
So what I advocate is that when we are together, we should be kind to each other, understand, understand, tolerate and be warm, don't be stingy with our efforts to each other, and don't be complacent and afraid of losing. The more afraid of losing, the easier it is to lose. Affirm yourself and find self-worth. In love and marriage, no one is lower than anyone, and no one is nobler than anyone. Two evenly matched people grow up together, undertake together, discuss together, decide together and face together. Don't disrespect each other just because you are husband and wife. There is no distance. Some privacy and gratitude are still necessary. Do what you have to do, and it's okay to be willful or unreasonable occasionally. As for the future, live the present and the future will be fine.
Family factors, as well as older people, determine whether marriage brings happiness to themselves.
In fact, there is no need to be afraid. People must experience marriage in this life, otherwise it will be incomplete. Marriage is a good thing. After marriage, some people love and listen to their own voices, while others wait for them to go home. What compensation is not a good thing?
The first type: emotional obstruction and psychological trauma experience from the heart. In addition, children who have experienced parents' divorce or parents' rejection and injury in their growth experience will have both expectation and fear in the face of marriage, which will lead to their inability to enter the family normally as adults. In childhood, I experienced the painful experience of parents' divorce, or saw my father or mother emotionally unfaithful to each other (having an affair), and I felt suspicious and insecure about my partner. They are most afraid of being hurt again, so they often flinch from marriage.
The second type: the pursuit of perfection, rather than excessive psychological distress. They are idealists and look forward to a perfect life. The biggest fear is that the person you find is not the ideal object in your heart.
Thirdly, the reason for being afraid of getting married is that adults come from children's mentality. In the fear of marriage, there is an irreconcilable conflict between the innocence of childhood and the responsibility of adults. They may be afraid of the problems they have to face, such as taking on family responsibilities, raising children and getting along with each other's families.
Overcome the fear of marriage.
Communication comes first.
Love is the world of two people, but marriage is the integration of resources of two families. Two families who have no communication at all suddenly want to get along in the most intimate way, which will definitely bring various problems. The greater the regional and cultural differences, the more contradictions there may be, which requires both families to treat each other with the greatest goodwill, communicate more and communicate more, and put all the problems on the table. For the younger generation, we should actively eliminate the complaints of the elderly at their own level, and the destructiveness of each level of complaints will increase tenfold.
Establish reasonable psychological expectations
It is not unreasonable to want a better life. The key is not to be divorced from reality. Some girls regard owning a car and a house as a condition for getting married, and the man must feel strong psychological pressure. In fact, when our parents got married, most people started to struggle on the basis of poverty, not to mention not having their own houses, and many people didn't even have decent furniture. The ostentation and extravagance and conditions of marriage should be based on the economic affordability of both parties, and the goal should not be too high.
Learn to compromise
Marriage is a process of compromise, and marriage is the beginning of compromise. Your teeth are so close to your tongue that you will accidentally bite it until it hurts suddenly. For two people, everything should be discussed openly, and whoever has reason to listen to whom is the best choice. Concession does not mean timidity, but real wisdom. After all, marriage is the art of getting along, and if there is no compromise, it will inevitably become an ugly performance art.
A: Generally speaking, what are the reasons why men and women are afraid of marriage? Women are hurt emotionally. I think it is not easy to try love again. I am afraid of losing my ability to change myself and create happiness. 1 First of all, believe in yourself and believe that you have the ability to deal with problems. 2. Stay away from people with negative energy around you. 3. Face up to the problem, communicate well, and enhance your sense of trust and security. 4. If fear of marriage's psychology is serious, he can go to the hospital and seek the help of a psychological counselor. Psychological counseling can make you relax and adjust your state. Please pay attention.
The first type: emotional obstruction and psychological trauma experience from the heart. In addition, children who have experienced parents' divorce or parents' rejection and injury in their growth experience will have both expectation and fear in the face of marriage, which will lead to their inability to enter the family normally as adults. In childhood, I experienced the painful experience of parents' divorce, or saw my father or mother emotionally unfaithful to each other (having an affair), and I felt suspicious and insecure about my partner. They are most afraid of being hurt again, so they often flinch from marriage.
The second type: the pursuit of perfection, rather than excessive psychological distress. They are idealists and look forward to a perfect life. The biggest fear is that the person you find is not the ideal object in your heart.
Thirdly, the reason for being afraid of getting married is that adults come from children's mentality. In the fear of marriage, there is an irreconcilable conflict between the innocence of childhood and the responsibility of adults. They may be afraid of the problems they have to face, such as taking on family responsibilities, raising children and getting along with each other's families.
Overcome the fear of marriage.
Communication comes first.
Love is the world of two people, but marriage is the integration of resources of two families. Two families who have no communication at all suddenly want to get along in the most intimate way, which will definitely bring various problems. The greater the regional and cultural differences, the more contradictions there may be, which requires both families to treat each other with the greatest goodwill, communicate more and communicate more, and put all the problems on the table. For the younger generation, we should take the initiative to eliminate the complaints of the elderly at their own level, and the destructiveness of each level of complaints will increase tenfold.
Establish reasonable psychological expectations
It is not unreasonable to want a better life. The key is not to be divorced from reality. Some girls regard owning a car and a house as a condition for getting married, and the man must feel strong psychological pressure. In fact, when our parents got married, most people started to struggle on the basis of poverty, not to mention not having their own houses, and many people didn't even have decent furniture. The ostentation and extravagance and conditions of marriage should be based on the economic affordability of both parties, and the goal should not be too high.
Learn to compromise
Marriage is a process of compromise, and marriage is the beginning of compromise. Your teeth are so close to your tongue that you will accidentally bite it until it hurts suddenly. For two people, everything should be discussed openly, and whoever has reason to listen to whom is the best choice. Concession does not mean timidity, but real wisdom. After all, marriage is the art of getting along, and if there is no compromise, it will inevitably become an ugly performance art.
As a married person, the fear of marriage is more about myself than about the other half. I am mainly worried about whether I accept the long years and whether everything is acceptable. I have always maintained a good attitude during this long time. Fear is a certain result (marriage) caused by many uncertain factors.
Adjust your mentality, think more about your favorite side in the relationship between the two sexes, and things worth looking forward to. If it still can't be alleviated, I suggest telling my fears to my relatives and friends and listening to other people's suggestions. Getting married is not terrible. It is terrible not to think about building a brave heart after marriage.