The scholar said, "The big basket is a small basket, and the small basket is put into the big basket." The farmer was tired of hearing this. It happened that someone was carrying the coffin by and sang to the scholar: "The coffin is also material, and the scholar is also a talent. The scholar put it in the coffin.
/question/250235 17.html There are also many funny couplets here. . .
I searched the internet again, hoping to be satisfied ~ ~ ~
1. There was a county magistrate in the Qing Dynasty who was greedy for money and tortured a dime a dozen. I don't know how many poor people died at his hands. However, if you give him something, it is a big crime, or it can be "reduced to a small crime." Therefore, there is a local complaint that "the yamen is open in eight characters, and there is no reason to come in without money". This corrupt official, playing dumb and shameless, not only ignored the voice of the people, but also accepted bribes and perverted the law. One year on New Year's Eve, he wrote a pair of Spring Festival couplets and posted them on both sides of the gate. This joint article is:
Love people, if they are children;
be rock-firm in executing the law—enforce the law strictly
After posting this pair of self-proclaimed couplets, corrupt officials were filled with joy, drinking on New Year's Eve and getting drunk.
The next day is the first day of New Year's Day. Just before dawn, I heard the housekeeper say to me outside the door, "Sir, there is something wrong with the couplet!" "
As soon as the corrupt official heard that there was a problem with the couplet, he quickly got out of bed and followed the housekeeper. As soon as the red paint door opened, the onlookers dispersed in a hubbub. When the corrupt official looked at it, he found that the couplet he had written was elongated, and then it was white paper with black words written on it. When he looked carefully, the couplet was changed to:
Love the people like children, gold and silver are my children;
Law enforcement is like a mountain, and Qian Shan is a mountain.
The corrupt official flew into a rage and hurriedly asked the housekeeper to tear up the couplets and shut the door in frustration.
At this time, people standing in the distance watching the excitement were happy, whispering and reciting the song to each other.
Second, during the reign of Emperor Qianlong of Qing Dynasty, Li, who was only a top middle school student, became a political scholar in Guangdong. Shortly after his arrival, an adult patrolman came. It turned out that this governor was the first to be promoted, because he was attached to the powerful minister and Kun, and was given the good name of "from the ground to the ground". "Congjinshi" means slightly equal to burial and slightly lower than Jinshi.
Although this patrol adult is not the real card on the list, he is also very smart and eloquent. Li has long heard about talent, and he is very jealous. He has long wanted to find a way to humiliate Li.
On one occasion, the inspector returned to Beijing from Sui (1), and the local officials gave a farewell dinner as usual. Li Tiaoyuan attended the banquet with some local officials, officials and celebrities. After three rounds of drinking, he smiled and said to Li, "I have long heard that studying politics is good for me, but I have been stuck for a long time, so I am tired of studying politics." Li had to answer, "I'd like to hear it", and then he slowly read the first couplet:
Sunlight, moon and stars;
After hearing this, the officials and literati in the room were horrified. They decided that Li was so absolute that it was difficult to tell at the moment. Those who are jealous of Li Wencai's outstanding performance are all out on patrol, waiting to see his jokes. Li Ping is well-read. When he heard this passage, he knew the origin of this passage, so he took the time to casually pick up a clear voice:
Four poems, elegant and smart.
Soon, the patrol and others were shocked. But the patrol did not stop there, and said, "I heard that your teacher is very important in Beijing, but recently I heard that he often washes his wife's feet." Do you know this? " When Li heard that he had insulted his teacher, he was secretly annoyed and replied, "Seeing is believing. If so, only his handmaids can know. How do you know, my Lord? " This rhetorical question made the patrolman's adult blush and become angry from embarrassment. "I'll make another couplet for this matter, please make one." Then, read:
Respected, how can I wash my feet like a lady?
Hearing this, the Li angrily yelled out:
Knowledge is shallow, and scholars are born.
Exactly, it's wonderful, and the irony is both tragic and cool, which makes the adults feel ashamed.
Third, during the reign of Qing Qianlong, Wu was a scholar from Nanhui, Jiangsu. Appoint Sichuan inspector. Wu not only advocated stereotyped writing, but also suppressed people with real talent and learning, abused their powers, accepted bribes and perverted the law. People in Sichuan hate him.
A year later, Wu was appointed as the main examiner. There was a scholar from a poor family who paid bribes for lack of money and thought there was no hope of winning this time. When the list was published, it really fell on Sun Shantou. Angry at the corruption of judging talents by money, he wrote a plaque and a couplet at the entrance of the examination room to satirize Wu's examiner. Plaque title:
Mouth swallowing the sky
Couplets are:
How to read with few eyes?
I owe Jin an the hope of becoming famous?
This plaque is connected together, using the method of dividing words. "Swallowing the sky" is a metaphor for the surname Wu. And "province" is divided into "several items" and "Qin" is divided into "gold arrears". Embedding the name of "Wu" to expose and satirize his ugly behavior of corruption and bribery is wonderful!
Fourthly, in the spring of the twenty-second year of Ming Hongwu (1389), Jie Jin went to Beijing to take the exam, was admitted to the Jinshi, and was awarded the Zhongshu Jishi Shu. Zhu Yuanzhang, the Ming emperor, knew from an early age that this short man from Jiangxi was not only outstanding in literary talent, but also good at treating people and could not help but love him very much. Because Zhu Yuanzhang himself likes to be right, he often declares him to enter the palace, talks about the past and the present with himself, and sings poems against him.
Some veteran ministers are unconvinced when they see the emperor doting on New Jie Jin, and always look for opportunities to belittle his prestige. Among them, the most representative figure is Ji Gang. Ji Gang is the head of the Royal Guards. Royal Guards was a secret organization directly responsible to the emperor in the Ming Dynasty, specializing in espionage, intelligence and arrest. Ji Gang is sinister and vicious, and many civil and military officials in North Korea hate and fear him. However, Jie Jin did not buy his account, and even often contradicted him. Therefore, Ji Gang became angry from embarrassment and repeatedly wanted to find opportunities to insult Jie Jin.
One day, Jie Jin and Ji Gang happened to attend a banquet at the same time. Jigang thought the opportunity came, so during the dinner, he shook his head and sang two sentences:
The ducks in the pond have flat mouths and short feet.
The tortoise in the hole has a long neck and a hard shell.
Ji Gang rebuked Jie Jin for his short stature and often interfered in his affairs. Jie Jin was not annoyed, because he knew the origin of Ji Gang long ago: Ji Gang was only the top scholar, but later he failed again and again, so he got mixed up with the local ruffians and hooligans in his hometown. Although he neglected his studies, he learned the skills of fishing for his ass and scheming. Jie Jin thought, why not seize the opportunity to teach him a lesson, or hold your breath. So he left the table and strolled to the center of the living room. He said in front of everyone: "The couple that Master Ji just recited are really good. I also have a good pair here, especially for Mr. Ji, which is very suitable. " He said, and a clear voice read out:
The reeds on the wall are top-heavy and shallow;
Bamboo shoots in the mountains have a thick mouth and an empty stomach.
Hearing this, Jigang immediately blushed and gnashed her teeth, but it was not easy to attack. He vowed that he would find opportunities to solve the problem seriously in the future. Sure enough, Jie Jin was later drunk by Ji Gang and then put into a snowdrift to freeze to death at the age of 47.
Once upon a time, there was a snob who tried his best to please his father-in-law in order to get some money from him. One August Mid-Autumn Festival was my father-in-law's 50th birthday, and he thought it was the best opportunity to curry favor with him. So I asked a scholar to write a birthday couplet for my father-in-law, and asked him to flatter my father-in-law as much as possible with boasting and beautifying words in the couplet; At the same time, try to talk about yourself in a low-key way. Hearing this, the scholar smiled and wrote Shoulian according to the words:
Big Zun Weng, Zun Weng is in the world, reaching 3,000 miles to Lingxiao, where high-rise buildings are built, and JUNSHOU is upstairs. Shoushan Shouhai has a long life and a thousand years of health.
My late husband, my late husband, went down to eighteen levels of hell. Dig a trap in hell and let me dig mud. I won't succeed.
On my father-in-law's birthday, I sent this pair of "birthday couplets", and all the guests laughed their heads off. A guest improvised a couplet:
Villains value profits and sell insults;
Son-in-law of Dawen's birthday pit.
That's all, I hope you like it ~ ~ ~