Wedding is a necessary ceremony for establishing a marriage relationship between men and women. Everyone has only one wedding in their lifetime, so many areas attach great importance to weddings. In Anhui culture, unique marriage customs have been formed due to the strong local ethnic flavor. Let’s take a closer look at Anhui’s marriage customs.
Entrusting a matchmaker to propose marriage
When a man and a woman reach marriageable age, and the parents of both parties believe that they are of the same family, the man can entrust a matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman, and some women may propose marriage to the groom's family. The matchmaker must be a "Quanfu" person, an even number of two to four people is appropriate, which is the so-called "four major matchmakers", including the main matchmaker and the accompanying matchmaker. When a matchmaker proposes marriage, he mainly introduces the situation of both parties. When talking about the man or the woman, there is usually an exaggeration of the affair. As the saying goes: "If a matchmaker doesn't tell lies, you won't have to tell them when you sit down." It is also said that "the matchmaker conceals both ends", "nine out of ten matchmakers lie", and the "matchmaker" can blow and cajole "and so on" with one mouth. These scams often harm many young men and women. Entrusting a matchmaker to propose a marriage is called "qi" "Matchmaker" or "Hong Kong".
Combined Bazi
After the marriage proposal, the parents will write the birthdays, year, month, day, time, etc. and zodiac signs of both men and women on straw paper, and the matchmaker will Pass it on to the other party, and then let the fortune teller calculate whether the marriage is a "contradiction", such as the so-called "fire overcomes metal"; "a chicken cannot match a monkey", "a chicken cannot match a monkey, and you will be worried every night"; "a dragon cannot match a tiger" "Dragon and Tiger fighting" are unlucky, as are "men born in the year of Sheep, who are busy, women born in the year of Sheep, guarding the empty house", "rats and horses in conflict", etc.
If there is a "contradiction", even if they are consensual, they will be in trouble. Then you cannot get married. This is the theory of the five elements of the charlatan, which is used to determine the marriage of a man and a woman. Being regarded as a bad "horoscope" will set up a serious obstacle in the marriage, so the woman's family often bribes the magicians to change the birth time, changing the "opposition and mutual restraint" to "symbiosis and prosperity"
Because there is a saying that "nine out of ten women are true", the marriage of the man and the woman can be preliminarily decided after combining the "horoscopes". "Red Book", both parties send a copy to each other and place it in front of their own "Kitchen God". After three or five days, if nothing happens at home, it is considered that the marriage has been tacitly approved by the God of the House.
Blind Date
After the horoscopes are combined, the matchmaker and the girl’s parents agree that the matchmaker will accompany the man seeking marriage to the girl’s house on a certain day to meet with the girl’s parents and elders, so that the girl’s parents can personally see the man’s appearance, demeanor, knowledge and accomplishments, and Family situation, etc. The man and woman can also take the opportunity to take a look, but they cannot talk directly. The matchmaker will take the woman to the man's house and meet the man's parents. The woman's father receives the inquiry, and the man's mother plays the leading role in the Xiang family. The man's mother invites the woman to the inner room to carefully observe her clothes, shoes and decorations to measure her sewing skills and measure her character. Inspecting the house and furnishings of the man's family, especially the furniture and equipment in the new house, is a direct benefit to the future living together of the man and woman. In the West Anhui area, if a woman comes to the man's house, the man's parents will be satisfied with it. Sugar water is substituted for tea, and some meat dishes are added to the meal, and a greeting gift is given when leaving. If the woman drinks sugar water, eats wine and food, and accepts money and things, it shows that the woman has fully agreed.
Geng
Also known as Chuan Geng, Chuan Tie, and Decision. After both men and women agree to get married, they must go through the engagement formalities. The so-called Geng Tie, Geng Tie is also known as red and green slips, Yuanyang Shu, permission letter, and small book. The wedding invitation is a wedding invitation that details the names, birthdays and parents of both parties. The earliest Geng invitations also have to include the names of three generations of the ancestors. The format of the wedding invitation is: a bright red envelope for the outside, and a red single note and a red full button for the inside. The front cover and back cover are fully buttoned and printed with a golden pattern of dragons and phoenixes.
The man wrote the word "Gong Qiu" in the middle of the single post, and in the lower part, he wrote "the brother-in-law ××× and the same family ×". Goodbye. The woman writes the word "Jingyun", and the title of the next paragraph is the same. There are three folds folded together. In the middle of one fold are written the birthdays of both men and women. The man is called "Qian Zao" and the woman is called "Kun Zao". Therefore, the man is also called "Qiu Shu" and the woman is also called "Yun Shu".
In the middle of the envelope, auspicious phrases such as "The Qin and Jin Dynasties have prospered all the way to their old age with the help of red leaves for a hundred years", "A match made in heaven, and we will always be united" should be written. Both parties will agree on an auspicious date for the marriage ceremony. In the morning, the man will fill out the "Qiu Letter" and put it in the box, prepare the betrothal gift, and ask a matchmaker to deliver it to the girl's home. The woman received her ceremoniously; after filling out the "letter of consent", she put it together with the "book of consent" into the box and placed it on the incense table in the hall. Then she lit incense candles and set off firecrackers. The father of the woman first knelt down to worship the ancestors, and then went to the matchmaker. A hand-over-hand salute to express gratitude. Then the matchmaker is invited to the table. After the banquet, the matchmaker returns to the groom's house with the Geng Tie box, and the woman also gives gifts in return.
The man also holds a grand banquet to thank the matchmaker. When he kneels down to worship his ancestors, the man himself must follow his father in saluting the ancestral spirit and giving a big salute to the matchmaker. After the "Guo Geng" was completed, the marriage between the two parties was officially settled.
After a man and a woman get engaged, they will then give a betrothal gift. The man's family will choose an auspicious day to formally present the betrothal gift to the woman's family. This is an important etiquette in traditional wedding customs, and the success or failure of a marriage often depends on it. In the southwestern Anhui area, the men and women's families negotiate and bargain in advance through a matchmaker.
After the woman agrees, the man's family will issue a gift list, specifying the variety and quantity of the gifts, and ask a matchmaker to deliver them to the woman's family, or include them in the wedding invitation when sending gifts.
There is a direct connection between the man’s betrothal gifts and the woman’s dowry. When the bride holds a wedding ceremony, the recipient must present the bride with clothes. As the saying goes, "if you eat the cake, you will wear a knot around your neck." When the man gives gifts, he should also give the woman several sets of clothes).
When making an appointment, a wedding invitation (or greeting card) must be attached. The wedding invitation is enveloped in red paper and contains red paper. Generally, there are ten wedding paper, which is called "Full Cambodia" and has a fixed format. For example, if it is given to the woman's father, it should be written "Your Excellency, Mr. So-and-so of the in-laws' house, with great virtue" and "My brother-in-law, so-and-so, bows his head before paying homage", and attach a gift list indicating the variety and quantity.
After the betrothal gifts are prepared, they are put into a carrying box (a special "concave" shaped carrying box for giving gifts) and a basket, on which are placed cypress branches, red dates, longan, peanuts and other auspicious objects. The word "happiness" written on red paper should be pasted on the outside of the carrying boxes and baskets, and the matchmaker and porters should be asked to deliver them to the girl's house. The girl's family would set off firecrackers to welcome her and give the bearers a red paper envelope. If the bride's family lives in a large village, the bride's clothes and accessories will be displayed in the main hall for guests and neighbors to see.
After the appointment, if the marriage does not occur in the same year, the man will have to give three festival gifts to the woman's family every year, that is, four-color gifts to the woman's parents during the Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, and Spring Festival.
Selecting a wedding date
Also known as "choosing a date", "choosing auspiciousness", "reporting the day", and also called "Guoda Shuzi". It is up to the man and woman to agree and ask a "fortune teller" to choose a happy day for the wedding. Traditional weddings attach great importance to the selection of "auspicious zodiac days"; the so-called "auspicious zodiac days" are based on the theory of star destiny, which divides the days into establishment, full, flat, closing (underworld days), elimination, danger, determination, and persistence (zodiac days) ), formation, opening (non-yellow and black days), closing, and breaking twelve kinds, reincarnation according to the sky.
Generally, if you can’t find someone to choose auspiciousness, you will choose double months and double days, but the "end day" on the 30th cannot be used. In addition, the dates chosen in various places are two days, one in the first half of the month and one in the second half of the month, for the bride’s mother to choose. The purpose is to avoid the bride’s menstrual period and choose an auspicious day. Although it contains many superstitious impurities, it is all It reflects the psychology of the masses and embodies the best wishes for newlyweds to grow old together. After the wedding date is selected, it is written on red paper. The groom's family prepares four-color gifts and asks a matchmaker to deliver them to the bride's family. The two parties are busy preparing for the wedding.