I braved the cold to return to my hometown more than 2000 miles apart and left for more than 20 years.
Because it is the end of winter; As we approached our hometown, the weather was gloomy again. The cold wind blew into the cabin, and I looked out through the gap in the canopy. There were several desolate villages lying far and near, lifeless. I can't help feeling sad inside.
Ah! Isn't this my hometown that I have been remembering for twenty years?
None of my hometown in memory is like this. My hometown is much better. But if I have to remember his beauty and tell him his advantages, there will be no image and no words. That seems to be it. So I explained to myself: my hometown is the same-although there is no progress, it may not be as sad as I feel. This is just a change in my own mood, because I am not in a good mood when I go back to China this time.
I came here to see him. The old house we have lived together for many years has been sold to another name, and the deadline for delivery is only this year, so we must bid farewell to the old house we are familiar with and move to a different place where I am looking for food before the first day of the first month.
Arrived at my door the next morning. Many broken stems of hay on corrugated cardboard are shaking when the wind blows, which explains why old houses will inevitably change hands. The family in several rooms probably moved away, so it was quiet. By the time I got outside my house, my mother had already greeted me, and then my eight-year-old nephew Honger flew out.
My mother was very happy, but she also hid a lot of sad expressions and taught me to sit down and rest for tea, not to mention moving. Macro son didn't see me, standing on the opposite side at a distance just watching.
But we finally talked about moving. I said that the apartment outside has been rented out, and I bought some furniture. Besides, I have to sell all the woodwork at home and add more. Mom also said that the luggage has been collected a little, and less than half of the wood is inconvenient to take, but she can't afford it.
"Please take a day or two off to see your relatives, and then we can go." Mom said.
"yes."
"There is a leap soil. Every time he comes to my house, he always asks about you and wants to see you. I have informed him of the approximate date of your return home, and he may come soon. "
At this moment, a miraculous picture flashed through my mind: a golden full moon hung in the deep blue sky, and endless green watermelons were planted in the sand by the sea below. Meanwhile, a boy of eleven or twelve, wearing a silver ring around his neck and holding a steel fork, tried his best to stab a horse, but the man twisted and turned out from his crotch.
This boy is a genius. I was only a teenager when I met him, and it has been thirty years now. At that time, my father was still alive and my family was fine. I am a young master. That year, my family was a year of great sacrifice. This sacrifice is said to take more than 30 years to turn once, so it is very solemn; In the first month, there are many offerings for ancestor worship, and the sacrificial vessels are very beautiful, and there are also many people who worship. We should also prevent the sacrificial vessels from being stolen. My family has only one busy month (there are three kinds of people who work here: those who work for a family all the year round are called perennial; Those who work for people on a daily basis are called short-term workers; He also farmed his own land and only came to work for a family during the Chinese New Year holidays and when collecting rent. When he was too busy, he told his father that he could ask his son to moisten the soil to look after the sacrificial vessels.
My father allowed it; I am also very happy, because I have heard the name "Runtu" before, knowing that he and I were both born in a leap month, and the five elements are short of soil, so his father called him "Runtu". He can pretend to catch birds.
I look forward to the new year every day. When the new year comes, the leap land will arrive. Finally, at the end of the year, one day, my mother told me that the leap soil was coming, so I flew to see it. He is in the kitchen, with a purple round face, wearing a small felt hat and a bright silver collar around his neck. This shows that his father loved him very much and was afraid of his death, so he made a wish in front of the Buddha and trapped him with a circle. He is shy, but he is not afraid of me. When there was no one else, he talked to me, and we became acquainted in less than half a day.
At that time, we didn't know what to talk about, except that we were very happy to moisten the soil. We said that after going to that city, we saw many things that we had never seen before.
The next day, I asked him to catch birds. He said:
"It's impossible. It is bound to snow heavily. It snows in our sand. I swept out a clearing, set up a big bamboo plaque with a short stick, and paved the valley. When the bird came to eat, I just pulled the rope tied to the stick at a distance, and the bird was covered under the bamboo plaque. Everything: rice chicken, horn chicken, big-headed owl, blue back ... "
So I'm looking forward to snow again.
Moisten the soil and say to me:
"It's too cold now, you come to us in summer. We go to the seaside to check shells every day. There are all kinds of red and green shells and ghosts, so are Guanyin players. In the evening, my father and I will look after watermelons, and you will also go. "
"Do you care about thieves?"
"No, people who walk are thirsty. Pick a melon to eat. We don't steal here. What needs to be managed are badger pigs, stingers and scorpions. The moon is underground. Listen, la la, the swallow is biting the melon. You are holding the Hu fork and walking gently ... "
I didn't know what this so-called stubbornness was then-I don't even know it now-but I feel like a puppy, fierce for no reason.
"Doesn't he bite?"
"Hu fork? When you get there, you will stab when you see it. This beast is very clever. He ran towards you and ran under his crotch. His fur is as smooth as oil ... "
I didn't know there were so many new things in the world: there were so many colorful shells by the sea; Watermelon has such a dangerous experience. I only know that he sells it in a fruit shop.
"In our sandy land, when the flood season comes, there are many jumping fish just jumping, all with frog-like feet ..."
Ah! There are endless strange things in my heart that my friends don't know at ordinary times. They don't know something. When wetting the soil by the sea, they all saw the sky at the four corners of the high wall in the yard like me.
Unfortunately, the first month passed and Runtu had to go home. I was so anxious that I cried. He was still hiding in the kitchen, crying and refusing to go out, and finally he was taken away by his father. Later, he asked his father to bring me a bag of shells and some very beautiful bird feathers. I gave him something once or twice, but we never met again.
Now that my mother mentioned him, all the memories of my time here suddenly came to Su Sheng like lightning, and I seemed to see my beautiful hometown. I replied:
"This is great! He-what? ……"
"What? ..... His condition is also very unsatisfactory ... "Mother said and looked out of the room. "These people are coming again." She said she bought wood, so she took it casually. I have to check it out. "
Mother stood up and went out. There are several women's voices outside the door. I approached Honger and chatted with him: I asked him if he could write and if he would like to go out.
"Shall we go by train?"
"We will go by train."
"Where is the boat?"
"Take a boat first ..."
"ha! This looks like it! The beard is so long! " A shrill and strange voice suddenly cried out.
I was startled and looked up quickly, only to see a woman in her fifties standing in front of me, with prominent cheekbones and thin lips, her hands in a moustache, her feet open and no skirt, just like a thin-footed compass in a drawing instrument.
I was startled.
"Don't know? I even hugged you! "
I'm more and more surprised. Luckily, my mother came in and said:
"He went out for many years and forgot all about it. You should remember, "he said to me," this is Yang Er's sister-in-law across the street, ... who owns the tofu shop. "
Oh, I remember. When I was a child, a Yang Er sister-in-law did sit in the tofu shop across the street. Everyone calls her "Tofu Beauty". But with white powder, my cheekbones are not so high and my lips are not so thin. I sit all day. I have never seen such a compass posture. At that time, people said: Because of Iraq, the business of this tofu shop is very good. But this is probably because of my age, but I was completely unaffected, so I completely forgot. Compass is uneven, however, show disdain, as if laughing at the French don't know Napoleon ⑦, Americans don't know Washington ⑧, sneer at say:
"Come on? This is really a high evaluation ... "
"There is this thing ... I ..." I stood up and said in fear.
"So, I say to you. Brother Xun, you are rich and heavy, so you can't move. What else do you want? Let me put these broken woodwork. " Our little family needs it. "
"I am not rich. I have to sell these before I go ... "
"Ah, you put the Dojo pet-name ruby, also said not rich? You have three concubines now; Going out is a big sedan chair, and you can't say it's wide. Don't be afraid. You can't hide anything from me. "
I knew there was nothing to say, so I shut up and stood silently.
"Ah ah, the more rich, the more unwilling to relax. The more I refuse to relax, the more money I have ... "Compass turned around angrily and said, slowly walked out, stuffed my mother's gloves in her waistband and went out.
Since then, my family and relatives have visited me nearby. When I was socializing, I took time to pack some luggage and spent three or four days.
One day, it was a very cold afternoon. I had lunch and sat drinking tea. I thought someone came in outside, so I looked back. I was very surprised when I saw it. I stood up hurriedly and walked towards it.
This is leap soil. Although I knew it was leap soil at first sight, it was not my memory. His figures have doubled; The previous purple round face has turned gray-yellow, adding deep wrinkles; Like his father, his eyes are swollen all around, which I know. People who farm by the sea blow the sea breeze all day, which is generally the case. He wore a worn felt hat on his head and only a thin cotton-padded coat on his body. Holding a paper bag and a long pipe in my hand is not the red and round hand I remember, but thick, stupid and cracked, like pine bark.
I am very excited at this moment, but I don't know how to say it, just saying:
"ah! Brother Runtu.-You're here? ……"
Then I have a lot of words to gush out like beads: horn chicken, jumping fish, shells, fish, … but I always feel as if I am blocked by something, and my mind is spinning and I can't spit it out.
He stopped, his face showing joy and sadness; His lips are moving, but he is silent. His attitude finally respectful, clear call way:
"Sir ..."
I seem to have a cold shiver; I know there is a deep barrier between us. I can't talk either.
He turned and said, "Shui Sheng, kowtow to the master." He pulled out the child hiding behind him. It was a leap soil 20 years ago, but it was thinner and yellower, and there was no silver ring around its neck. "This is the fifth child, never seen the world, evasive ..."
Mother and macro son came downstairs, and they probably heard the sound.
"The old lady. The letter arrived early. I really liked it until my master came back ... "said Runtu.
"Oh, how can you be so polite. Didn't you call yourselves brothers before? Still the same: Brother Xun. " Mom said happily.
"Ah, the old lady is really ... what's the rule? At that time, I was a child, and I didn't understand ... "Runtu said, calling the water to arch, but the child was shy and followed him closely.
"He is aquatic? The fifth one? They are all strangers, no wonder they are afraid of life; " Or Honger should go for a walk with him. "My mother said.
Macro son heard this, then go to recruit aquatic, aquatic but refreshing to go out with him all the way. Mother asked Runtu to sit down. He hesitated, finally sat down, leaned his long pipe on the table, handed the paper bag and said:
"There is nothing in winter. This dried green beans are dried by themselves there, please master ... "
I asked him about his condition. He just shook his head.
"Very difficult. Lao Liu will also help, but he is always hungry ... it is not peaceful ... money is needed everywhere, there are no rules ... and the harvest is not good. If you plant something and choose to sell it, you always have to donate it several times and lose money; Don't sell, can only rot ... "
He just shook his head; Although his face is engraved with many wrinkles, it doesn't move at all, just like a stone statue. He just feels bitter, but he can't describe it. After a short silence, he picked up his pipe and smoked silently.
Mother asked him, knowing that his family was busy, he had to go back tomorrow; He didn't have lunch again, so he was told to go to the kitchen to fry rice.
He is out; Mother and I both lamented his situation: many children, famine, heavy taxes, soldiers, bandits, officials and gentry all made him look like a puppet. My mother told me that she could give him anything she didn't need to move, and he could choose for himself.
In the afternoon, he picked out a few things: two long tables, four chairs, a pair of incense burners and candlesticks, and a scale. He also asked for all the grass ash (we cook straw here, and the grass ash can be used as fertilizer in the sand), and he took it with him when he set out.
In the evening, we talk about some idle days, which are irrelevant words; The next morning, he brought Shui Sheng back.
Nine days later, it is the day when we set out. Runtu arrived in the morning. Shui Sheng didn't come with him, but only brought a five-year-old daughter to look after the ship. We are so busy all day that we have no time to talk. There are also many visitors, some seeing off, some taking things, and some seeing off taking things. By the time we got on the boat at night, all the old things in this old house, big and small, had been swept away.
As our ship went forward, the green hills on both sides of the strait were covered with dark coats at dusk and were taken back to the ship.
Macro son and I leaned against the window, looking at the fuzzy scenery outside, he suddenly asked:
"Uncle! When will we come back? "
"Come back? Why did you come back before you left? "
"However, Shui Sheng invited me to his house to play ..." He opened his big black eyes and thought foolishly.
My mother and I were a little disappointed, so we brought up the leap soil again. Mother said that Yang Er's sister-in-law is a tofu beauty, and she has come every day since my family packed my luggage. The day before yesterday, Iraq took out a dozen plates in the ashes. After discussion, it must have been buried in the leap soil. He can move home together when transporting the ashes. Yang Er's sister-in-law saw this and felt very successful, so she killed the dog (this is our chicken-raising equipment here, and there is a fence on the wooden tray, which contains food. Chickens can stick their heads in their necks and peck, but dogs can't, and she flies away, as if she had such high-heeled feet and ran so fast.
The farther the old house is from me; The scenery of my hometown has drifted away from me, but I don't feel a trace of nostalgia. I just feel that there are invisible high walls around me, which separate me into loneliness and make me very bored; I was very clear about the image of the little hero with a silver collar on the watermelon ground, but now it suddenly blurs, which makes me very sad.
Mom and macro are asleep.
I lay down and listened to the gurgling sound at the bottom of the boat, knowing that I was going my own way. I think: I have been isolated to this extent by the leap soil, but our descendants are still angry. Isn't Honger short of water? I hope they will no longer be separated like me ... but I don't want them to live as hard as I do because they want to be together, nor do I want them to live as hard as a leap of earth, nor do I want them to live as hard as others. They deserve a new life, because we have never lived.
I thought of hope, and suddenly I was afraid. I secretly laughed at him when he wanted a censer and a candlestick, thinking that he always worshipped idols and would never forget them. Now my so-called hope is not my own idol? It's just that his desire is close, and my desire is far away.
In the gloom, I spread out a green beach by the sea, and a golden full moon hung in the dark blue sky. I thought: Hope is nothing, nothing. It's like a road on the ground; In fact, there is no road on the ground. If there are more people walking, it will become a road.
192 1 year 1 month
To annotate ...
(1) This article first appeared in New Youth, Volume 9, Issue 1, May 19265438. After the income of the novel collection "Scream".
(2) In a letter to Shuxin City on May 4, 1925, the author said: "Yan was invented by me according to the voice of a countryman, pronounced' Cha'. Now that I think about it, it may be a badger. "
(3) The Value of Big Sacrifice In feudal society, large families hold activities to sacrifice their ancestors every year, and the expenses are extracted from the income of clan "sacrifice production". Every year, each room takes turns to preside over it, which is called "Value Year".
(4) The superstition of the so-called "eight characters" in the old society with five elements lacking soil. That is to say, the heavenly stems (A, B, D, D, E, G, E, D) and the earthly branches (ugly Mao Yinchen, Xu Hai, Shen Youwu) are matched together to remember the year, month, day and hour of a person's birth, each with two characters, which form a "eight-character". It is also believed that they belong to each other in the five elements. For example, eight words can contain five words, that is, the five elements are complete and "the five elements are short of soil"
⑤ Ghost Seeing Fear and Guanyin Hand are the names of small shells. In the old days, people along the coast of Zhejiang Province strung these small shells together and put them on children's wrists or ankles, thinking that they could "ward off evil spirits". Most of these names are based on the meaning of "avoiding evil spirits".
The beauty of Yue in the Spring and Autumn Period was later used as general beauty.
⑦ Napoleon was Napoléon Bonaparte (1769-l82 1), a strategist and politician during the French bourgeois revolution. 1799, ruling as a * * * republic. The first empire of France was founded in 1804, calling itself Napoleon I.
8 Washington is George Washington (1732- 1799), the first president of the United States of America, who led the American War of Independence against British colonial rule (1775- 1783).
9 Daotai, the common name of the official Taoist in Qing Dynasty, is divided into Taoist who is in charge of a regional administrative position and Taoist who is in charge of a specific position. The former is the chief executive below the provincial level and above the prefecture level; The latter is responsible for the specific affairs of a province, such as supervising the supply of food and preparing for war. After the Revolution of 1911, the Beiyang warlord government also used this system and renamed it Daoyin.