Some people think that a person's behavior has nothing to do with appearance. Actually, it's not. In real life, whether a person's manners are elegant or not and whether his words and deeds are appropriate often has a direct impact on the success or failure of a thing. An archbishop of England once said, "once noble character is associated with indecent manners, it will also make people feel bored." Undoubtedly, elegant manners can make women's social interaction more relaxed and happy, which is conducive to the success of things.
A person's behavior is closely related to others' respect for him or her. When managing and dominating others, it often plays a greater role than internal and substantive qualities. Warm, friendly and polite manners will undoubtedly make people feel comfortable. In this kind of friendly communication, success often comes. In other words, friendly behavior will contribute to the success of the cause. On the contrary, bad behavior and boring and vulgar words will only make people feel disgusted, so that there is no business or transaction to do. The first impression is particularly important. Whether a person is polite, polite and polite often has a very important influence on the first impression. Friendly words and deeds, decent manners and elegant manners are all passes to enter the hearts of others. The hearts of old people and young people are open to people with good behavior and courtesy. Stubborn, arbitrary and overbearing words and deeds will only make people feel disgusted and hateful. Therefore, such a person must run into a wall everywhere in his life, and he is boring everywhere, just like a rat crossing the street, which makes people unhappy.
1995, in a law firm in new york, Mr. Qian, the richest man in China, was wearing a high-class Dunhill suit, a gorgeous French Langwan tie and a pair of shiny English chess shoes. He is wrapped in an expensive world-class brand bag and is negotiating with his lawyer to sue his American partner.
Mr. Qian glared at him, pointed to the translator and shouted loudly, "You let him sue Smith, a son of a bitch, and I'll give him six months to win this lawsuit for me, otherwise I won't raise these losers!" Half a year later, his lawyer charged a lot of attorney fees, and Mr. Qian's litigation process was almost zero. In another new law firm in Manhattan, the grumpy Mr. Qian angrily said to the translator, "You translate word for word. If they can't meet my requirements like the previous git, I'll fucking change lawyers at any time!"
At the hearings attended by both parties, Mr. Qian often swore, flew into a rage and even jumped over the table to fight with each other, so that his lawyer and assistant had to hold him down and normal procedures could not be carried out. A few months later, Mr. Qian lost his lawyer. This time, the lawyer fired Mr. Qian and asked him to hire someone else. The angry Mr. Qian strongly condemned the "ignorant and incompetent" American lawyers: "It is said that American lawyers are the most capable, how can I meet all idiots and idiots!"
After leaving him, his translator said helplessly, "We have changed three law firms. After two years of protracted war, the company spent more than one million dollars in legal fees, and our lawsuit ended in complete failure. Every time, his rude remarks and rudeness will bring us huge economic losses, and the proud American lawyer retaliates his rudeness with a negative attitude. Lawyers charge by the hour, and it is not fatal for them to win or lose our lawsuit. In many parts that require rationality and self-cultivation, our boss can't show lawyers the image of an outstanding China entrepreneur with achievements, so that our own lawyers doubt the credibility of the evidence we provide. "
Mr. Qian's clothes and appearance packaging are world-class, but his words and deeds and self-cultivation can't reflect his appearance. Many people understand the concept of image design as the promotion of external packaging and visual sense, and completely ignore their own internal cultivation, which is not the whole content of image design. The packaging of image design is simple, but it is complex, profound, comprehensive and long-term to improve and improve people's cultivation and internal content. Personal cultivation not only includes the improvement of one's own cultural quality and the sublimation of sentiment, but also includes the understanding of human psychology, human behavior motivation, basic humanity, personality, society and culture, and the corresponding countermeasures. It requires you to have the ability to understand other people's psychological reactions, predict the results and what consequences your actions may leave. Some people say, "Only by pondering the ink fragrance can you become a real person." When you have self-cultivation, you will know how a person should behave.
Etiquette is called "body language" in psychology, which means that human body movements are a kind of dynamic beauty, including gestures, sitting posture, standing posture, walking posture and so on. They are the concrete embodiment of etiquette. In a sense, it plays no less important role than oral English.
"Stand like a pine, sit like a bell, lie like a bow, and walk like the wind." The word 12 vividly summarizes the correct standing posture, sitting posture, lying posture and walking posture, which is very vivid. If you want to stand, sit and walk, you should pay attention to the posture of standing, sitting and walking.
1. Standing posture
Standing posture, that is, standing posture. When standing, you should hold your head up, chest up and abdomen in, eyes straight ahead, stand up straight, stretch your shoulders, and your arms naturally droop. You can cross your hands in front of your abdomen or put your right hand on your left hand. You can also put your hands behind your back in informal social situations.
When standing, don't stagger, hunch over or lean back, and don't shrug your shoulders or keep your shoulders high and low. Don't put your hands in your trouser pockets or cross your waist when standing and talking to others.
Standing posture is training against the wall, and the back of the head, shoulders, arms, calves and heels are all close to the wall; You can also stand back to back in pairs.
2. Sitting posture
The so-called sitting posture is to sit up straight. A person's normal sitting posture, when there is nothing to rely on behind him, his upper body should be straight, lean forward slightly, his shoulders should be straight, his arms naturally droop close to his body, his hands are placed on his legs at will, the distance between his legs is roughly equal to his shoulder width, and his feet naturally land. When you have support behind you, don't throw your head back at random in formal social occasions and show a lazy look. This is what we often call "sitting like a clock".
In order to ensure the correct and beautiful sitting posture, we should pay attention to the following points: First, after sitting down, don't separate your legs too far, especially for women sitting like this. Second, when sitting cross-legged, the suspended toes should be downward, and the toes should not be upward and shake up and down. Third, when talking to people, don't lean forward, and don't hold your chin with your hands. Fourth, be quiet after taking a seat, and don't wander around for a while, giving people a feeling of fidgeting. Fifth, after sitting down, you can put your hands on your thighs or gently put them on the armrest of the sofa, but your palms should be down. Sixth, if the seat is a chair, you can't lean forward and lean back, and you can't put your legs on the armrest of the chair or sofa or step on the coffee table. This is very impolite. Seventh, sitting for too long will make people feel tired, and then they can be transformed into side seats. Eighth, in social and conference occasions, we should sit gently and quietly, and sit dignified and steady. Don't sit up and down suddenly, it will make the seat ring and cause tension. Be careful not to bring the cups and other utensils on the table to avoid embarrassment and passivity. In short, sitting posture should not only keep the legs beautiful, but also keep the back straight. Don't bend your chest and back like a hunchback. If there are armrests on both sides of the seat, don't put your hands on the armrests on both sides, which gives people the feeling of being old-fashioned, but should relax naturally, so as to be polite.
3. Walking posture
Walking posture is walking posture. Walking posture can often show a person's physical condition, mental outlook and personality. People walk in different ways. Some people are resolute and appear smart and capable; Some people are steady and generous, appearing calm and sophisticated; Some people are light and cheerful and look full of energy. These walking postures leave a good impression on people. Moreover, some people shake their heads when walking, giving people a frivolous impression; Some people stumble when they walk, giving people a feeling of suppressing aging; Some people walk with their feet in a figure of eight and sway in a duck-shaped step. These walking postures are unsightly.
The correct walking posture is: hold your head high, look straight at your eyes, keep your stride consistent with your standing posture, and pay attention to rhyme. The so-called stride refers to the distance between two feet when walking. The general standard of stride is that the distance from the heel of the front foot to the toe of the back foot is about equal to the length of one's own foot. Foot length here refers to the length of wearing shoes, not barefoot. The so-called step position is the position when the foot lands. Generally speaking, it is the most standard to step on a straight line with both feet. Rhythm refers to the rhythm of walking. When walking, your ankles should be elastic and your shoulders should swing naturally and easily. Don't walk too fast or too slowly at ordinary times. Men walk 100 steps per minute, and women walk 90 steps per minute, showing their rhythm and charm.
When walking, you should straighten your body and swing your arms naturally, with the range of swinging back and forth at about 45 degrees. Don't shake your head and shoulders, swing your arms from side to side, and don't intentionally twist your hips. Besides, be careful not to eat while walking. When many people walk together, don't walk back and forth or form a horizontal line, so as not to affect others' walking.
To train walking posture, you can draw a straight line on the ground and walk with your feet on the straight line. Practice repeatedly and you will naturally make progress.
squat
Squat posture, that is, the posture when people squat. In rural areas, some rural cadres are used to squatting in pits or fields to chat with villagers; In the city, some citizens are tired of walking, and there are no stone benches on the roadside, so they squat down to rest; Sometimes, things fall to the ground and people bend down to pick them up. People who have not been trained in squatting posture pout their hips backwards when they take something, which is very unsightly.
When squatting, you can squat with your left foot in front, your right foot behind, and your legs together. The left foot touches the ground, the left leg and calf are basically perpendicular to the ground, the heel of the right foot is raised, and the sole of the foot touches the ground, forming a posture in which the left knee is high and the right knee is low, the hips are facing down, and the body is mainly supported by the right leg. In life, pay attention to the etiquette of standing, standing, walking and walking, and you will be welcomed by everyone. In fact, elegant behavior is largely due to politeness and kindness. Externally, politeness is a form of expression or communication. In essence, politeness reflects our own love for others. There is no essential difference between elegant behavior and decent behavior, but they are basically the same. "A beautiful figure is better than a beautiful face, elegant behavior is better than an elegant figure, and elegant behavior is the best art, better than any famous sculpture or painting." Ride etiquette details
Xiao Li just graduated from university and was assigned to work in a company far from home. At 7 o'clock every morning, the company's special car will wait at a place to pick up Xiao Li and her colleagues on time.
On a suddenly cold morning, Xiao Li turned off the harsh bell of the alarm clock and lingered for a while to warm the bed-just like at school. She pushed away time as much as possible to miss the winter vacation days when she didn't have to rush about for life. That morning, she got up five minutes later than usual. But it was these five minutes that cost her.
That day, when Xiao Li arrived at the waiting place, it was already 7: 05 and the car left. Standing on the empty road, she was at a loss, and a sense of helplessness and frustration came to her for the first time.
Just when she was depressed, she suddenly saw the company's blue car parked in front of a building not far away. She remembered that a colleague pointed out to her that it was the manager's car, and she thought, God never shuts one door but he opens another. Small enough for the car. After a little hesitation, she opened the door and quietly walked in, proud of her luck.
The manager's driver is a gentle old driver. He looked at her in the mirror for a while. Then he turned to her and said, "Miss, you shouldn't take this bus."
"But I'm lucky today." She said with relief.
At this moment, the manager came quickly with a briefcase. He sat down in the usual position in front, only to find that there was one more person in the car, obviously surprised.
She quickly explained, "The bus has left. I want to take your car." She felt that all this made sense, so she casually said.
The manager paused, but soon understood. He said firmly, "No, you are not qualified to take this car." Then he ordered in an irrefutable tone, "Please go down."
Xiao Li suddenly froze-not only because no one was so strict with her since she was a child, but also because before that, she never thought that she needed a certain identity to take this car. In her usual character, she should slam the door to show her disdain for the car and then leave. But at that moment, she remembered what being late meant to her in the company system, and she valued this job at that time. As a result, she has been very smart but lacks life experience, and she has become extremely helpless. She said to the manager in an almost begging tone, "I may be late, so I need your help."
"Being late is your own business." The manager's cold tone showed that there was no room for manoeuvre.
She asked the driver for help, but the old driver looked ahead and said nothing. Tears of injustice swirled in her eyes. In desperation, she stubbornly fell into a silent confrontation with them.
They were deadlocked in the car for a while. Finally, to her surprise, her manager opened the car door and went out.
She sat in the back seat of the car and watched the manager walk forward with a briefcase. He stopped a taxi in the cold wind and drove away. Tears finally ran down her face.
He reminded her to live a quiet life.
Xiao Li's experience also reminds people that her mistakes must be made up by herself, but the reason why she caused the manager so much disgust and unhappiness is because she ignored the problem of being particular about riding.
In the modern city life, which comes and goes in a hurry and races against time, people often need to take various means of transportation, especially various motor vehicles, for convenience. Taking a car has many advantages, such as saving physical strength, being convenient and comfortable, saving time quickly, being safer, and giving priority if possible.
People can take many types of transportation. The following mainly introduces the etiquette norms of taking cars, buses, trains and other motor vehicles for reference.
1. Drive
In modern social life, the etiquette of riding is very particular. The seats in the car are all like this. If a driver is driving, it is generally believed that the most distinguished seat in the car is the seat diagonally opposite to the driver's seat in the back row, that is, the seat on the right in the back row. The order of other seats is: rear left seat, rear middle seat and front right seat. If there is no driver to drive, the host will drive by himself, and the guests should sit on the host's right, that is, the right seat in the front row.
If traveling with a guest, the owner should take the initiative to open the right back door of the car for the guest, and signal the hood frame with his hand to remind the guest to close the door after the guest is seated. Finally, the car mainly gets on from the left back door. When traveling with relatives and friends, please get on the bus first. If the lady's skirt is too short or too tight to get on the bus first, please ask the man to get on the bus first. When a woman gets on the bus, she shouldn't put her hand into one leg first and then into the other. The most appropriate way is to sit down gently first and then put her legs together in the car. When you get off the bus, don't put your front and rear feet on the ground at the same time.
In foreign activities, if the guest and host travel in the same car, they should invite the guests to sit on the host's right side and the interpreter to sit in the front row and right seat. If the host drives his own car and there is only one guest, please sit on the right in the front row. If the guest is a man and two women, the lady sits on one side and the man sits on the other. Two men and one woman, please let the woman sit in the middle and the men sit on both sides.
When the car is driving, the owner can introduce the business circle or places of interest along the way to the guests. Don't chat with the driver to distract you, and don't urge the driver to speed up.
If the host and the guest don't ride in the same car, the host's car should drive in front of the guest's car to clear the way.
Step 2 take the bus
Many people behave like "people" at work, but once they get on the bus, they are like wild horses that have lost their reins.
At present, the domestic situation determines that it is very "United and considerate" on the bus. Therefore, on the basis of self-restraint, it is necessary to respect each other and accommodate each other. Frequent use of civilized language can avoid many unnecessary frictions. The "war" caused by those who step on their feet and don't say sorry is both uncultured and boring.
As young people, they should offer their seats to the elderly, children, pregnant women and patients, instead of closing their eyes when they need to give up their seats and pretending to be "in a fairyland", which is rude. Some people know that they shouldn't throw melons, fruits, shells, etc. In the car, but they threw them out of the window, which is immoral. In fact, every car should have a dustbin. You can walk a few more steps and throw the garbage into the dustbin.
It is immoral to smoke on the bus.
Please take your own umbrella bag when riding in rainy days and put it in the umbrella bag prepared in advance.
When carrying big bags and small bags on the bus, try to keep a little distance from others, and don't bump into others, especially when walking behind others, it is easy to fall when touching others' heels.
If you are wearing a long coat or windbreaker, be sure to lift your clothes when you go upstairs and downstairs, so as to avoid people walking behind you accidentally stepping on the corners of your clothes and causing you to fall down.
We introduced a method to get a decent seat on the bus. Generally, bus tickets have different colors because of different mileage. You can pay attention to the color of the passenger's ticket on the seat, and you will stand next to whoever has the shortest mileage.
In addition, when taking other means of transportation, whether by bus, train, subway or plane, keeping quiet is a sign of civilization. It is necessary to queue in public places.
Step 3 take the train
Traveling by train is like entering a new strange world. In this special environment, when you get along with all kinds of strangers, you should take the initiative to care for others and be polite to others, thus bringing happiness to your trip.
Traveling by train, for everyone's safety, don't carry explosive and flammable dangerous goods on board. After getting on the bus, you should consciously sit in the right position, put your bag on the luggage rack and say hello to the passengers sitting next to you.
When the train is running, for safety, don't open the window or stick your head out of the window to avoid accidental injury. Don't smoke and make noise in the carriage. When eating on the train, you'd better not eat food with pungent smell, and don't throw peels or scraps of paper out of the window. You can't wear vest, shorts and slippers in the car no matter how hot it is. Often some people take off their shoes as soon as they sit down and put their feet on the opposite chair, which is not only unsightly but also uncivilized.
It is wise to talk to other passengers on the train without disturbing others. Don't talk nonsense, spread gossip, and don't talk too much. These are all manifestations of lack of education. It is impolite to inquire about other people's personal privacy such as age, marriage and income.
This often happens on the train. There was nobody in the seat next to me. When someone came to look for a seat, he lied and said "someone". This is immoral behavior. A polite passenger not only takes up extra seats, but also helps women and the elderly arrange seats and luggage.
If it is a lunch break and a late break, try not to disturb others. Especially in soft sleeper cars, when traveling companions have begun to undress and sleep, they should wait in the corridor for a while and wait until they are almost ready before going in. Passengers who have been lying down should turn their backs inward and don't look at other people's preparations before going to bed.
When you get off at the station, you should make preparations in advance to make luggage belt better. When you leave, you should politely say goodbye to your fellow travelers and wish each other a safe and happy journey.
Step 4 take a taxi
When you get on the bus by taxi, you should first confirm with the driver where you want to go. Pay attention to keeping the car clean and tidy. If you make rubbish, you should consciously put it in a bag and prepare to throw it into the dustbin instead of throwing it out of the window. Don't stamp your feet in the car.