After graduation, David was admitted to a banking institution in the city. He has a high salary and a stable and rich life. As a result, David's mother always thought her son was his pride, boasting all the way from childhood. Everyone liked to talk about her son's advantages and boasted fiercely.
Regarding her son's marriage, David's mother always hoped that her son could find a girl who was a teacher, because in their older generation's cognition, only the girl who worked in the system was worthy of such an excellent son.
And I am his girlfriend who wants to talk about marriage now. We met on a blind date, but our feelings are not very deep. However, our purpose is clear. When we first met, we were open and honest, and we told each other the bottom line and life.
Then we reached a consensus that if we want to meet someone, we must go for the purpose of getting married, so we are doomed not to have a long love period.
Only later did she realize that such a conservative family still exists in such a progressive modern society.
But fortunately, I saw the true face of their family before I got married, and I was lucky enough to escape from it.
0 1
In life, I am also a more realistic person. I never think that two people have to go through a sweet love period, and then get together when they feel fit, and get married when they feel that they have no problem together. In my eyes, there is no fixed form of love. It is the most important thing that two people really love each other.
I'm not afraid of jokes and I won't tell you the truth. Although we are unmarried couples now, we have reached the point of talking about marriage.
But we seldom contact, often meet, only once a week. In fact, I am quite clear that if we choose to get married, we are destined to live like this after marriage.
So, why bother yourself now, why widen the gap in this life and increase your troubles. He proposed to me in the third month of our blind date.
At that time, I didn't think it was particularly big. I thought it was ok. He was also very sincere and agreed.
The whole process from falling in love to getting married is very fast, and then after we decided to get married, all aspects of the bride price and wedding date were finalized within one week. And the wedding was held according to our horoscope, just six months later.
02
Before marriage, the most important thing is to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. However, my meeting with my future mother-in-law was not pleasant.
I remember the first time I met my future mother-in-law. A woman's intuition told me that she was a very picky person. I am a detail-oriented person, and all the details of my mother-in-law tell me her strength.
Usually, most people look at others from top to bottom. But my future mother-in-law always looks up from the bottom, which makes people inexplicably uncomfortable and feels great pressure. The first meal was relatively relaxed and pleasant, because we haven't talked much about the problems after marriage.
At that dinner, we just had a simple consultation on all aspects of the bride price. At that time, both parents were very satisfied and felt very good.
The second time I went to my fiance's house for dinner, it was a week later. At that time, at the dinner table, my future mother-in-law bluntly said to me: "The prospective daughter-in-law is a blessing that you have cultivated in your last life. You must obey my family rules. "
When my mother-in-law said this, I happened to be eating soup, and I almost choked when I heard this. After I managed to keep my manners and swallow hard, I seriously asked my future mother-in-law what family rules she had.
Just asking casually, I didn't think much. Who knows, my future mother-in-law immediately gave me a contemptuous look.
My mother-in-law sharply asked me if I knew the old saying "three obedience and four virtues" and said that these contents were also in their family rules. When I get married, I will print out the family rules uniformly. I must remember them then.
After listening, I was dumbfounded. This is not a simple old society! I was shocked!
Family rules have left me speechless, but they still want me to recite them. Is this marriage or school? I fell to the lowest point instantly, and I was really unhappy. No matter how delicious the food is, it suddenly loses its flavor.
So, the second meeting broke up in discord.
What makes me even more chilling is that my fiance's attitude has always been silent.
In fact, if my fiance could say a word or two for me, I wouldn't be so angry at last. But this man wants to eat alone, completely invisible, as if everything just happened between me and my future mother-in-law has nothing to do with him.
03
I am a decisive woman, and I don't like to drag my feet emotionally. After that meal, I seriously thought, is this husband really the one I want to spend my life with?
Why on earth should I marry him? I'm not married yet. In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, fiance is such an attitude. A complete mother-in-law, how can your mother bully your wife in the future, and marriage life becomes hopeless at that moment?
If I get married in the future, won't I be completely pinned down by their family? Then I will definitely not agree!
Women in the new era must live for themselves. So, after listening to my mother-in-law's words, I immediately put down my chopsticks and said to my future mother-in-law, "I can't climb high, I won't marry, and I'll give you back the bride price or something!" The future mother-in-law was shocked after listening to it, and she froze directly for an instant.
At this time, my fiance seems to have just returned from sleepwalking and put down his chopsticks in surprise. At first they all thought I was joking, but only I knew that I was extremely serious at this moment.
As an activist, I called my parents directly at that time, so both parents sat together and the two families talked about this problem face to face.
In the future, my mother-in-law loves face, and naturally she will not allow it. I have repeatedly stressed that they have informed all relatives and friends, and if I propose to break off my marriage now, it will completely make them lose face.
At that moment, I felt particularly ridiculous. Marriage is a free choice. If either man or woman thinks it is inappropriate, they have the right to end it. Shouldn't it?
Before getting married, it is best to pull back from the cliff in time and stop the loss in time. Are we going to make everything irretrievable after marriage and then file for divorce?
At that time, my parents felt embarrassed, but they supported me unconditionally, because they knew me, my mind, and that no one could change what I decided.
Later, my mother-in-law saw that we had made up our minds and didn't insist on it, so the upcoming marriage came to an abrupt end.
Since ancient times, there has been a saying that marriage should be enough. In fact, this statement is not completely unreasonable. However, I think family values are also very important.
Appropriate family values will make a relationship more stable. If your future husband is unreasonable, if your future husband doesn't respect you enough, if you need to accommodate blindly after marriage. Then your compromise will only make others push their luck.
Therefore, if a marriage before marriage makes you feel particularly uncomfortable, it is right to refuse their excessive demands.
Because of such a family, when you get married, such problems will continue. It was like this before marriage, and you can imagine what kind of day it will be after marriage.
Gu Yan has a saying: Marry high and marry low, and China culture has its own reasons for thousands of years. Therefore, when you get married, you might as well take a long view and resolutely refuse what is not suitable for you.