There is no denying that a beautiful and exquisite woman or handsome man can make people feel very elegant and charming with a little attention. However, an ugly and fat person, no matter how knowledgeable, is hard to surprise at first sight.
However, getting along with people is not just love at first sight. People with poor hearts, even if they are picturesque, will feel that they are vases and cannot talk deeply. And a person with unique insights, wisdom and erudition will naturally reveal an aura (this is the temperament I understand).
Once you get along, you will appreciate and even admire. When a person gives others this feeling, those appearance defects are no longer so important. Of course, extreme cases should be the exception.
Is temperament innate or acquired? I remember a psychologist explained the formation of temperament (haha, meaning acquired): temperament can't be learned, but it can be infected. Maybe what he wants to say is edification, which is an infectious force from psychological behavior to leakage. Temperament, when a person appears, gives the first feeling. Even before you see your face clearly, you will give people an impression of love or hate (therefore, temperament can be liked or disliked, indicating that there is no unified standard for temperament).
I grew up singing, dancing, playing table tennis and playing Go. I also like reading novels and biographies. In my compound, except the children of workers and administrators, I don't like reading very much. Is this how children grow up? Nothing special. Of course, parents love reading, perhaps because there is a cultural atmosphere at home. My mother has a wide range of hobbies and is engaged in technology, but she subscribes to all social science literature publications published in China. Reading may be the so-called cultural edification.
At the beginning of middle school, occasionally some students said I was polite. In the third and fourth grade of college, I have graduated for more than ten years, and the rate of going out for a walk is too high. In a crowded street, almost everyone will look back at me. And I have never been a traditional beauty in China. It's not a good thing to turn around My husband often fights with people because some men are too presumptuous. If I go out alone, I will be followed by men almost every time, especially in Italy and France. Those people can follow me for hours, which scares me to death. I am relatively safe in England. I've seen them on the street several times, but most of them strike up a conversation in a civilized way or sit nearby (when I first moved to Hyde Park in London, I often went for a walk and read books in the park). Later, when I encountered such a thing several times, I was afraid to sit on the park lawn and study alone.
In a taxi in England (the driver was too young to ask me questions at that time), the driver often asked me, is your husband a billionaire? Or are you a stewardess? Why do they ask? The positioning is very strange! I told you, I am an ordinary China girl.
So what is temperament? Is there a confused spirit in the air? Or a kind of human nature lost in the air?
I talked to an English friend of mine about my confusion, and he said, because you are so sexy! Ha ha ha, I was shocked when I heard this conclusion! People in China never say that about people. Besides, I have never felt this way about myself. I dress very dignified, behave very unsmiling, don't joke, and never make eyes at people. Hahaha, and most importantly, my upper body is thin and I have no chest.
So sexy depends on temperament? Why do people generally think that temperament is a kind of beauty? Is there anything that is not beautiful? And everyone can tell different temperament? Is there a temperament that is not exclusive and can envelop everyone in a beautiful spiritual world?
Why do some women and men like women but don't, and why do some women and men like them? I have as many male and female friends myself, and tens of thousands of classmates have made small colleagues and social friends. I have never been hated by women, and no woman hates me because boys like me.
Haha, because the day I was born in Shen Bing, it was the day when the sun hurt the least. Everyone needs sunshine, so it doesn't matter what he looks like. Everyone still pursues sunshine. Sunshine is also the most unselfish and warms everyone.
According to China's numerology, we know the differences of temperament: who is a naturally attractive beauty, who will be as beautiful as flowers, who will be gentle and polite in poetry and books, and who will be sexy in figure? Who has fatal eyes? Who is beautiful but married to a scum man who often suffers from domestic violence?
Later, I learned the eight characters of numerology before I understood these truths.
Temperament is doomed. It is also destiny takes a hand to seek accomplishment and change temperament the day after tomorrow.
A person's temperament is composed of his external appearance+behavior+connotation cultivation.
Zeng Guofan once said: "People's temperament is hard to change because they are born. Only reading can change their temperament. "
Those who are very temperamental at first sight are not only full of poetry and complacency, but also the expression of external appearance and manners and the acceptance of people in interpersonal communication.
People's appearance is innate, but their temperament can indeed be improved through learning and transformed into their own personal charm.
First impression, psychological first cause effect There is a famous psychological phenomenon "first cause effect" in interpersonal communication:
When we first meet, people will judge strangers by their appearance. In the first 3 to 7 seconds, we form our first impression.
55% of the first impressions come from body language, including appearance, expression and posture; 38% comes from the dimension of sound, including sound, mood and intonation; Only 7% of the information comes from what is said.
China people say that "judging people by their appearances" does have a great influence.
The importance of external gfd We are not talking about beauty, but about gfd and speech.
Proper dress, makeup and manners have a direct impact on the temperament that a person passes on to outsiders.
The most typical example is the Flower Girl starring Audrey Hepburn in the Oscar-winning film My Fair Lady.
Professor Higgins, a linguist, met a flower girl with vulgar manners and words in the street. Professor Higgins and his friends bet that it would take six months to turn her into an elegant lady.
By training flower girl's way of speaking and acting, she changed her dress. Later, the professor really transformed her, and at the dinner party of high society, she was so elegant that she charmed everyone.
A person's appearance represents himself, and no matter how amazing a beauty is, if her appearance is sloppy and her words and deeds are vulgar, she will not appear to have temperament.
On the contrary, an average-looking person can also look elegant and charming through proper dress, manners, etiquette and hospitality.
Manners, manners and voices are all showing temperament. There is an old saying in China that is very vivid: "It is not like a prince to wear a dragon robe." In other words, words and deeds can better reflect a person's inner temperament than clothes.
Clothing with high face value, good figure and fashion is not equal to temperament.
Standing posture, sitting posture, walking posture, gestures and other actions are silently conveying a person's inner temperament.
Spanish Queen Letizia, a global fashion icon, once had her neck stretched forward, her chest slightly covered, and her standing posture and sitting posture looked unattractive.
Later, after training, letizia's manners improved, her shoulders were open, her back was straight, and her photos with American First Lady Melanie Trump, Diana Arabia, Princess Rania of Jordan and Argentine First Lady Julianne were not inferior.
Liu Shishi in the entertainment circle is often called the most temperamental actress, and it is also because of her good posture and demeanor that she always keeps her waist straight, shoulders open, abdomen closed and chest held out in public appearances.
Always pay attention to your image in the eyes of others and tidy up your gfd. It can also be elegant at a glance.
However, if we want to continue to make people feel temperament in the interaction with people, we need to carry out all-round management from the aspects of expression, voice, inner cultivation and treating people.
Appearance is the direct embodiment of inner, and elegance is the accumulation of habits. To possess and maintain this charming quality requires long-term practice.
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Temperament is hereditary, plus the influence of family education and scholarly family.
Just say my mom! I was born a young lady. When I was a child, my family was very strict. I was educated by my grandfather. I had an enlightenment, but it came to an abrupt end when my mother was five. The next few years are endless torture, labor, reform, reporting, life is restricted, and even the right to study is deprived. I lived like this for nearly thirty years, and by the time my mother was truly liberated, I was born.
After experiencing the hardships of life, the mother who was deprived of higher education still has her innate temperament and passed it on to our generation.
The picture 1 is my grandfather (the only photo left), the picture 2 is my mother, and the picture 3 is me. I dare not say how beautiful I am, but my temperament has really benefited a lot.
First, the external image is good. Clothes make the man, and horses depend on the saddle. People's first impression often begins with clothes. Clothes don't have to be luxurious and expensive, but they must be clean and tidy, so as to add points to your temperament. There was a photo circulated on the Internet, in which a tramp in rags stood with his back to the river, with outstanding temperament. In today's society, this is just an example. Besides clothing, proper gfd is also the external expression of temperament.
The second is to behave appropriately. Men sit like a clock, walk like the wind, act simply and decisively, and show masculinity everywhere. Women are elegant, generous and decent, always gentle as water, which makes people feel like spring breeze. Treat people politely, be generous and supercilious, speak slowly, speak at a moderate speed, have a moderate tone, be good at listening, and be reasonable and restrained. Moderate laughter, freedom, no indulgence, popular everywhere, strong affinity.
Third, talents have high emotional intelligence. My mind is full of poems and books. Talented people are elegant and generous in temperament, generous in speech and strong in logical thinking. At the same time, he speaks confidently, knows astronomy above and geography below, and his quotations are well-founded, which is also the external expression of his temperament. Treat people with tact and consideration, meet fate everywhere, everything goes smoothly and get along well. The most direct expression of talent and emotional intelligence is temperament. At first glance, this person is very capable and admirable, but in fact, it is better than temperament.
In short, temperament is a comprehensive performance. Only those who are full of positive energy are full of temperament, which can give people strength and enlightenment.
In my opinion, temperament is an invisible charm that radiates from the inside out. It is hidden in the roads you have traveled and the books you have read. Your words and deeds, smiles and smiles all contain unique charm, which will be more lasting and moving with the passage of time.
Either you are rich, attractive, good-looking and good-looking, or you have temperament, which is just external beauty. Beauty is only superficial, and temperament is from the inside out.
Everyone has an innate temperament type, which determines the most suitable lifestyle for everyone. If you want to have temperament, you must first understand yourself from a deeper level. Books read, roads traveled, things encountered, painful reflections, thought-provoking insights, and compassion for the whole body's suffering. After a long time, you have forgotten all the details, and the rest is your temperament.
Elegant, pleasing and charming men and women are refreshing. A man with temperament and a woman with temperament are always charming. Temperament is a kind of accomplishment and the foundation of Lide Shu Ren. A person's comprehensive quality will naturally overflow with appearance, and a person with high quality will naturally have an extraordinary gas field. It will definitely make people feel comfortable, unobtrusive, unpretentious and low-key.
It is not love at first sight when you get along, but it takes a long time to know your cultivation, morality and every move. That's your true nature, not winning people's attention by giving them a stunning look at first sight. The real temperament should be to release your personal style just right.
Temperament is a person's external and internal overall performance. Externality refers to a person's appearance, while immanence refers to a person's cultivation quality.
A person with temperament will make people shine at the moment and never forget.
Why are some people so temperamental? This is closely related to a person's usual accomplishment.
How to be a person with temperament?
Beautiful temperament is inseparable from beauty, exquisite appearance, regular facial features, white and elastic skin color, which gives people a very comfortable intuitive feeling.
If necessary, you can put on a little light makeup to cover up some defects. But remember, don't overdo it, it's evil, but it makes people feel sick.
Cultural literacy cultivates interest in reading, absorbs valuable things from books, enriches one's mind and becomes a person with scholarly atmosphere.
Take part in some interesting and meaningful activities, learn from others' strengths, abandon your own bad habits, and gradually improve yourself.
Pay attention to your usual behavior and image in daily life, don't be careless and unrestrained, try to pretend to be gentle, virtuous and approachable.
Temperament is honed by life. Do the above, and you are the person with temperament in people's minds. Three women are chatting together. Woman A said to woman B, "How beautifully this girl is dressed." Both of them are praising female C for her good figure. Female B said, "Yes, we are so fat that we can't compete with her." . We compare temperament. "Female c speechless, also in words, had to barely smile.
Female A and female B evaluate female C's good figure and charm, which is the "quality" of figure and figure and the explicit temperament. But they are confident in their inner spiritual realm and think that implicit temperament is their magic weapon in life.
Let's take a look at Du Niang's explanation: "What temperament shows in society is an inner personality charm of a person from the inside out, and then the sublimation of a person's inner charm quality. There are many kinds of personality charm, such as self-cultivation, morality, manners, treating people with things, feeling of speaking and so on. They are elegant, noble, quiet, gentle, unrestrained, informal and direct. Therefore, temperament is not what you say. It is a combination of long-term internal cultivation balance and cultural cultivation, and it is the result of perseverance. "
Temperament, simply put, is: physical and mental health+sweet appearance+good figure+aristocratic genes, which is the premise and foundation; Virtue is the foundation, the core and the key; Practice is both a method and a means. These are all good qualities, and one or two are semi-good. If only make-up makes people feel good temperament, then everything they say and do is very general, which is a false temperament.
Temperament is innate. The temperament brought by nature is fundamental. The cultivation of the day after tomorrow is flourishing in this book. The maids from the Jia family in A Dream of Red Mansions are all expensive, and they are more valuable when they leave home than the daughters of small families outside, such as Yuanyang, Pinger and Xiren. Noble temperament is innate and needs to be cultivated. "Dragons give birth to dragons and phoenixes, and rats drill holes in the ground", which shows the innate importance; "It is better to have seeds", which means that regeneration is also strong the day after tomorrow.
The temperament standard is uncertain. Every industry has its own temperament. When farmers have the temperament of farmers, when workers have the temperament of workers, and when senior intellectuals have the temperament of high knowledge, etc., all these can reflect the true colors of the industry. Once a master happened to be mixing noodles, and a lady next to her asked her, "Master, the pasta you made is really delicious. Where are you from? Northerners? " I saw the master continue to work hard and skillfully knead the noodles, while slowly answering: "Henan people." Master's voice is ethereal and quiet, with a feeling that penetrates people's hearts. Monks have the unique compassion of monks, and everything they say and do can show and influence their surroundings in his potential way. As master said, "there is a saying in the world: lazy monk!" I mistakenly thought that the monk did nothing or knew nothing, so he came to become a monk. Actually, it's not. Everyone has their own karma and mission! I put everything down and became a monk! " This monk is gentle, compassionate and wise, which is "the combination of long-term internal cultivation balance and cultural cultivation, and the result of perseverance."
Therefore, a good temperament is the perfect combination of implicit and explicit personality, which can lead you to any corner of the world with the charm of thought on the premise of physical and mental health, on the basis of identity knowledge, on the key of character cultivation and on the performance of "elegance, purity, quietness and softness".
Soft eyes and quiet expression.
At the party, sit in a corner and smile all the time.
Hair is clean, loose, fragrant and fashionable to trim.
The whole person's clothes are high-end fabrics, black, white and gray, one color or two colors, and the style is not exaggerated or outdated.
Finally, talk, don't talk nonsense, and express your feelings. Independent, positive energy.
What is visible outside is actually the embodiment of connotation.
Read more books and make friends with virtuous people.
Have your own career, not an empty shelf.