Some parents want their daughters to marry people with better family conditions. They don't want their daughter to be spoiled as a little princess at home, but they will be punished "but not as poor people know" after marriage.
However, some parents hope that their daughters can "marry low" properly, so that their daughters can have enough voice in future marriages, and the economy has become a hard power to avoid being bullied by their in-laws.
There seems to be nothing wrong with both statements, so is "high marriage" or "low marriage" really related to the fate of women after marriage? Or does the happiness index of women after marriage depend on "high marriage" or "low marriage"?
For the conclusion between the two, it should probably be the truth that "the public is right and the old woman is right." People with different experiences naturally hold their own words.
There are two girls around me who have also experienced "low marriage", but they have different views on "high marriage" and "low marriage"
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Recently, I was surprised to hear my family talk about the divorce of Swallow, a fellow villager. Swallows don't hesitate to marry at a low price, and there is no good result.
When Swallow got married, the family thought it was acceptable for them to find a family with relatively poor economic strength in order to make Swallow feel at ease in her husband's family.
In this regard, the reasons given by the Yanzi family are sufficient:
Swallow is the only daughter in the family and is spoiled by her parents at home. In case of marrying a noble family, I am afraid that the swallow has been wronged by her husband's family in the past and the swallow is arrogant. "High marriage" must be bitter. If you choose "low marriage", then the status of swallows in the family is naturally different.
With this mentality, the Swallow family generously accepted the poor husband's family. The house was bought by the Swallow family. The name only says Swallow, and the bride price is only symbolic.
After the marriage, the work of the swallow's husband, including her husband's cousins coming to work in the city, was responsive and arranged for them to enter their own factories. Even if these relatives mix food and drink, the swallow family will turn a blind eye.
Originally, the swallow's family thought that her husband's family and others would know how to be grateful. Who knows that secretly, the husband's family has been covering up the affair of Swallow's husband and cheated Swallow for several years.
Swallow asked her husband's family for a theory, and the husband's family didn't intend to hide it any more. The showdown said that the swallows were too strong and not prosperous, which led to the husband's work not improving until now, so he was naughty outside.
Until the swallow divorced, her husband left home clean. With the break-up of marriage for more than ten years, the mental state of Xiaoyan has been not very good since her divorce.
Zheng Xiaoyan is also very helpless. It is obvious that her family is very rich and "low-married". Instead, I was fooled around by my husband's family and felt that I met someone who was not suitable. She only hates that she shouldn't have "married low" in the past and let this man who eats soft rice get away with it. Her family is still thankless.
02
Speaking of "low marriage", another person who has the right to speak is my cousin, who is also "low marriage", but her cousin's ending is completely different from that of Swallow.
Although she married Mr. Hu, a brother-in-law from a poor family, her cousin was not troubled by material things for long. Both of them are the kind of people who are willing to endure hardships. After the couple started their business together, the company's income was getting better and better, and the days were booming.
However, when my cousin decided to marry Mr. Hu, many relatives also opposed it. They think that a beautiful and capable girl like my cousin "married" her brother-in-law and missed a chance to "match".
My cousin had several blind dates before she got married, and there were many excellent "candidates" for gold mining in Shali. Finally, it took some thought to choose Mr. Hu.
There was a suitor at that time: Mr. Huang, whose family conditions were much better than his cousin's. His parents are famous people in the provincial capital, and his grandfather's generation opened a chemical factory and accumulated a lot of wealth.
My cousin's parents also think that if you marry this family, it will be considered a "high marriage" and there will be enough protection in the future.
But the problem is that the family seems to be not particularly satisfied with my cousin's family, and their attitude is also very slow. For a long time, there is no accurate statement.
Therefore, my cousin's family did not dare to be careless, for fear of being said to be anxious to get married, and things have been dragged on.
Later, on a blind date, my cousin met Mr. Hu, and the conditions at home were slightly worse. He lives in a remote county, and the money for going to college is borrowed from his family. After graduation, he slowly paid off the loan.
Now the income is stable, but it is very hard. Everything depends on myself, and my parents can't help me.
Mr. Hu's family is quite satisfied with his cousin. They thought his cousin was smart and capable, and soon put forward the desire to get married, and cared about everything.
At the beginning, Mr. Hu and Mr. Huang were equally excellent in personal conditions. Choosing "high marriage" or "low marriage" makes the cousin family feel very embarrassed.
03
No matter which family is inclined to "high marriage" or "low marriage", the parents' initial heart is to hope that their daughter will have a better life and a happy marriage.
Cousin's parents are no exception. Mr. Hu is excellent, but his family conditions are poor. If my cousin marries Mr. Huang with such strong economic strength, it will be particularly decent and her living standard will go up a step. However, if she is wronged and loses her dignity, it will not be worth the loss.
Although the original choice has advantages and disadvantages. Now, my cousin is so happy. At first, the difference in family status between Mr. Hu and Mr. Huang didn't seem so important.
I joked with my cousin: "If you marry that teacher Huang, will you struggle less for a few years?" Do you regret choosing Mr. Hu? "
Cousin smiled and said, "No regrets. In fact, I didn't mean to wronged myself when I chose to marry low. On the contrary, I feel that although Miss Huang's family is good, their attitude towards themselves is extremely cold. If you start with the attitude of' you are climbing our home', it will be difficult to gain equal status in the future. "
"In terms of family background, Mr. Huang, who is well-off, wins over Mr. Hu, who was born in poverty, but in terms of family style, the attitude of Mr. Hu's family is better. Marrying Teacher Hu, at least not so wronged, can be emboldened. "
Hearing this, I want to understand that those girls who live a good life after marriage are not married high or low, but choose families with good family style.
Cousin's words came true soon after marriage. Although Mr. Hu's family is not rich, his in-laws feel that he has wronged himself by marrying him. He could have found something better, but he didn't dislike their weak foundation, so he was very kind to his cousin. His life in her husband's family is more comfortable than at home.
In fact, choosing a good family style when getting married is more important than taking material conditions and empty thoughts.
Regardless of whether you marry high or low, you should keep your eyes open and seriously consider each other's family style.
04
In fact, "high marriage" or "low marriage" can not really determine the fate of women, nor is it the only criterion to measure the happiness of marriage.
At that time, I watched "Do you know it should be green, fat, red and thin?", and the women in it paid special attention to whether they were married to a rich family or a small family.
Sisters in the family compete with each other in secret. If they "marry high", they can shine on the threshold and rewrite their origins. If you "marry low", parents will inevitably lose face.
But the reality is not that simple.
Hua Lan, the daughter of Sheng's parents, married into a famous family, but smart and beautiful, but not liked by her mother-in-law. She was wronged and could only complain at her parents' house.
Shulan, a gentle, virtuous, sincere and lovely Shengjia aunt, married a scholar with a poor family and numerous possessions. As a result, her husband's family felt that she had "fallen" herself, so even eating soft food was "car-scrapping".
It can be seen that superstition of "high marriage" is not desirable. High marriage may not lead a good life, and it may also lose dignity; On the other hand, "low marriage" does not necessarily have a place. You are like a devil when you meet someone who eats soft food.
Whether it is worth getting married depends on the family style of the other family.
If you marry a family with a bad family style, women will be despised and ignored. No matter how smart and sensible you are, you will be taken for granted, and you will be wronged and resentful in your marriage.
And a family with a good family style will not blindly rely on blood relationship, and often know how to respect the only "outsider". Your "low marriage" will also be distressed by your husband's family, and your "high marriage" will not be looked down upon, and your contribution will be seen in your eyes.
If a woman can be treated well in marriage, what is the difference between "high marriage" and "low marriage"?