Customs vary from place to place, but there is one situation, that is, after a spouse is widowed, generally speaking, it is not appropriate for the spouse to send each other off during the funeral. Of course you can send it as a gift.
Because there is a saying among the people that if you want to remarry after being widowed, it will be difficult to give it off.
Generally, when the elderly in the widowed family see that the person is still young, they will not want the living person to send the dead person away. If others know about it, some people will not dare to remarry him.
So there is a saying that people who don’t want to remarry will go to the funeral. Even if he finally changed his mind and wanted to remarry, he would have to remarry at least 7749 days later, but the time to do so was too short and the relationship was too fake. It usually takes a year or two before you can silence others.
The only thing is, after the funeral, the sooner you remarry, the more people will laugh at you.
For example, in Chongqing, couples do not see each other off, and they cannot watch burials or cremations.
Why is there a custom of couples not sending each other off? According to past sayings, the deceased will be attached to everything in life, and the soul will not leave willingly. Therefore, once the spouse leaves each other, the ghost of the deceased will haunt the living, and even take the living away with them. Continue the relationship between husband and wife.
Of course, there is another important reason. The widowed person does have a deep relationship with his deceased spouse. If he is too sad and sad, something will happen, so not letting him see him off is also to protect the living.
It is precisely because of these sayings that there is a custom of not sending each other off between husband and wife.
There is also a saying in Nanning, Guangxi, that if this situation occurs, not only cannot it be sent, but you must leave two hours before the funeral, that is, an hour ago, and go outside. You are not allowed to eat at home and stay out until after the funeral.
If the funeral is held at 13 o'clock, the widowed person must leave the funeral site and go outside one hour before the funeral of his spouse, that is, before 11 o'clock.
If people in rural areas generally stay away from home and go to the village canteen or to enjoy the shade under a tree, they will definitely not be able to return home, let alone appear on the funeral route.
On the other hand, people in the city ran out, and some people were just watching and playing chess, or chatting with others. The same is not allowed on the funeral route.
When many people of the older generation see this situation, they will say that the couple must have the same four characters in their horoscopes, so they cannot send each other off! Woe to the giver!
Even if a widowed person does not want to leave or avoid it, relatives and friends will still persuade them to leave the funeral site and avoid the funeral.
The monks or Taoist priests invited to perform rituals will also advise the widowed to leave, whether it is for the deceased or the living, they must avoid it.
Why do four of the eight characters have the same character? The horoscope is the year, month, day and hour of birth. As long as there are two same year, month, day and hour, then they should be avoided.
For example: the husband was born at 0:00 on January 1, 1970, and the wife was born at 12:00 on January 22, 1970. Then the year and month are the same, and the birth dates have four corresponding characters. . This kind cannot be given away and must be avoided.
If there are more than four corresponding birth dates in the horoscope, you must avoid it. Therefore, the widowed person will be far away from home before the funeral, and they have to eat outside and buy food. You can only return home after wandering around the funeral.
I once heard an elder say that there was once a man in his village who did not believe in evil. More than six of his and his wife’s birth dates were the same.
He sent it off anyway, and he didn’t wear a tattered bamboo hat when he was sent to the funeral. According to custom, when a male widow goes to a funeral to see her off, she should put on a tattered bamboo hat and be supported by others. Send each other off. If a woman is widowed, the woman must wear mourning to send him off.
Wear a broken bamboo hat instead of a good one like the one in the picture
On the day after the funeral, his family found him dead. He got on the bed and followed his deceased wife. So his funeral was held again, and then the couple was buried together. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or what.