Nowadays, many families have put the second-child plan on the agenda. In addition, most of the parents of second-born children are only children. Many mothers have the idea of ????taking their mother's surname for their second child. I think this can be regarded as leaving a bloodline to my mother's family.
But the real problem is that since ancient times, children have taken their father's surname. If we break this traditional custom, will it be recognized by the whole family? Facts have proved that it is definitely not an easy task for a second child to take his mother's surname. The mother of her second child wanted her second child to take her mother’s surname, but her parents-in-law’s words made her feel aggrieved
In the blink of an eye, Xiao Lin’s second child was born, and she was not happy that she had both a son and a daughter. The problem lies in naming the child. It stands to reason that if anything unpleasant can happen with this name, the couple can just discuss it carefully. The root of the problem is that Xiao Lin wanted the second child to follow his surname, but he encountered opposition from the whole family.
Xiao Lin and his wife are both only children. Dabao was raised by his grandmother, and the second child is a caring little cotton-padded jacket. Xiao Lin thought that if the child could have his own surname, it would be the best reward for his parents.
But as soon as this matter was brought up, my husband was the first to object, saying that other people’s children all have their father’s surname. Why should my daughter have to take your surname? After hearing this, her parents-in-law also firmly objected and refused to allow Erbao to take her surname.
Xiao Lin was really angry when he saw that the whole family had this attitude. Sitting there, he started to reason with his family: My parents have been taking care of me, and our parents bought the house. The eldest brother has already taken your surname. Why can’t the second son take my surname?”
My parents-in-law and my wife heard this too. He was aggrieved and said with good reason:
"We have never helped you take care of your child, but this child is not married to us. As for the house issue you mentioned, it is your pre-marital property and What does it have to do with us? No matter how many children you have, they are all my son’s. If they belong to our family, they must bear our family name.”
In this way, the whole family pointed all the fingers. Xiao Lin, completely ignored that Xiao Lin was just out of confinement.
For this reason, Xiao Lin always had sleepless nights. He went through hell twice to give birth to a child, and his parents had sacrificed so much for themselves. Why was it so difficult for the second child to bear his surname? Why couldn't they understand? What about your own difficulties? Are there repeated obstacles to having a second child take his mother’s surname? These three major problems have become the most difficult gap to cross
1) Obstructed by traditional thinking, children must take their father's surname
During the feudal society period, human beings have lived in a patriarchal social system for a long time. Later, it became a traditional custom to let the son take his father's surname. For thousands of years, people have been adhering to this traditional ideological concept, so much so that it has now become a habit, just like China's patriarchal ideology. It is even harder to break this concept than to climb to the sky.
2) Taking the mother’s surname indicates the loss of male rights, and the husband is the first to disagree
In Chinese families where children take the mother’s surname, most of them are men who marry into the woman. What we pay attention to is "male marriage, female marriage". If not forced, no man would be willing to do this, because the children born by doing so will not be able to bear their own surname, and will suffer ridicule from the outside world. It also indicates that they are male-dominated. loss.
The child takes the mother's surname. Firstly, it makes the husband look down on him in the eyes of outsiders. Secondly, he has lost his male hegemonic status in the family. Therefore, when the mother brings up this matter, the husband is the first to say Wouldn't agree.
3) Can the child accept that Dabao and Erbao have the same father and mother but different surnames?
In some families, when the second baby is born, Dabao is the one who has the biggest objection. They feel that their younger brother or younger sister has deprived their parents of their love, which leads to jealousy and dislike the second child from the bottom of their hearts.
If Dabao and Erbao have different surnames, how should they explain it when asked by classmates and friends in the future? Will they suffer ridicule from classmates? At this time, the mother has to estimate Dabao's feelings.