Making havoc in the Heavenly Palace
Let’s talk about the Monkey King causing havoc in the Heavenly Palace. Guanyin Bodhisattva recommended Erlang Zhenjun to subdue the demons and led the heavenly soldiers and generals to fight in the Huaguo Mountain. During the fight, the Great Sage suddenly saw the monster monkeys in the camp dispersed in fright. He felt panicked and ran away. The generals in the sky panicked and looked for each other in front and back and disappeared. They all shouted: "Leave this monkey spirit! Let's leave this monkey." "Energy!"
God Erlang opened his eyes wide and saw that in the bustling place in the lower world, the great sage turned into an old man, pushing a tricycle, shaking his head, and selling barbecue on the street. sweet potato. Erlang sneered in his heart and was about to issue a bid to beat him when he suddenly saw a group of urban management officers holding hammers, scissors and sticks, shouting and shouting, and smashed the tricycle to pieces without any explanation. The great sage was startled, thinking that the heavenly soldiers were coming. He quickly turned the corner and transformed into a young lady. She painted her eyebrows and walked there in a graceful and graceful manner. However, Erlang saw him clearly and wanted to issue a bid for the second time. However, several police officers came to meet him. They grabbed the great sage in front of him and said, "It must be a pheasant. Come with me and go to the station!" The great sage was flustered. He hurriedly said: "I'm not a pheasant, I'm still a virgin!" The policeman laughed wildly and said: "What's wrong with virgins? Are virgins not allowed to be prostitutes?" He shook the handcuffs and wanted to take her away. Seeing the discord, the great sage hurriedly twisted his waist and flew away. When he saw a valley in front of him, he rolled down the cliff. He lay there and changed again. He turned into a primary school. His mouth was wide open like a school gate, and his teeth turned into white. The door leaf and eyes become window lattice, shake a few monkey lice
come down and become a student babbling and studying. Only the tail was difficult to clean up. It was erected at the back and turned into a flagpole, hanging a big slogan: "A century-old plan, education is the basis; compulsory education, free admission." Erlang was robbed of the first move twice, and he was feeling depressed. This slogan made me laugh and say, "It's the Hozen! He's coaxing me again today. Who knows that China claims to have compulsory education, but where is it free? I've seen schools with tens of millions of dollars, and I've never seen one that doesn't use students as money trees. "Yeah, watch me kill this monkey!" The great sage was frightened, jumped up, and disappeared in the air.
The true king could not see the trace of the great sage, so he hurriedly jumped into the clouds and rose in the air. Seeing King Li Tianwang standing in the clouds with his telescope held high, he laughed and said: "Zhenjun, go quickly! Go quickly! The monkey used a stealth method, walked out of the camp and headed for your Guanjiang estuary." Erlang heard that he was busy. Return to the river mouth to catch up.
But it was said that a general meeting was being held at Guanjiangkou, and the Great Sage suddenly transformed into a XX representative, wandering around the venue, pointing here and there, and making enthusiastic speeches. Just when he thought he had a trick, he was unexpectedly seen through by the True Lord: "Representative XX has always been a clay idol. When did a living figure appear?" He held up a three-pointed two-edged magic sword and slashed in the face. The monkey king hurriedly dodged and faced the golden cudgel. The two of them were shouting and making trouble, and walked out of the meeting place, half foggy and half cloudy, walking and fighting.
In mid-air, Guanyin Bodhisattva, director of the Heavenly Court Women's Federation, and Taishang Laojun, director of alchemy, were watching the battle. The Bodhisattva said to Laojun: "Brother Laojun, what do you think of the Erlang God that the poor monk mentioned? If he has magical powers, he has been surrounded by the great sage, but he has not been able to capture him. Now I will help him and capture the monkey's head." Laojun said: "Sister Guanyin?
What weapon will you use to help him?" Guanyin turned around and called his mount: "Let me hit him with my BMW." Laojun said: "Your BMW is very expensive. If it hits him
It will be inconvenient if it breaks. "Guanyin said: "It's public money anyway, so if it hits, just hit it." Laojun said again: "It will be very troublesome to repair, so let's do it.
Let me help him." Guanyin said, "If it breaks down, I don't want it. I'm just trying to get a Cadillac to attract customers." While he was chatting, someone turned around behind him.
Xian'e is the famous Professor Zhang Weiying. She presented a treasure to Laojun and murmured something, "We can't let everyone come to heaven... I still don't
Think I was wrong..." turned around and left. When Lao Jun looked at it carefully, he saw that the treasure was a "Heavenly Population Access System", and he couldn't help but be overjoyed: "As soon as this thing came out, the whole Chinese people trembled. It can be used to deal with monkeys in the mountains and villages. Let me throw him down and hit him. Sister Guanyin, the credit for this trip should be given to me.
" Guanyin said coquettishly, "I hate it, I won't play with you anymore." Laojun said with a smile. : "Girl, don't be angry. If you succeed in this attack, you will definitely make the final decision about this battle
Melody movie, girl as the protagonist, played by my daughter Chou Nv Chou. It will be released in all theaters at the same time. How about it?" Guanyin Only then did he turn his anger into joy.
I saw Laojun knocking the magic weapon down from the Heavenly Gate, knocking the Monkey King on the head, knocking the Great Sage to the ground, and all the Heavenly Court policemen shouted
< p>Swarmed up and tied up the Great Sage so tightly that he could no longer change. A policeman said angrily: "This guy has caused us a lot of suffering, let's pay him back today! Forgive you Sun Wukong, today I will turn you into Sun Zhigang!" He was about to be released. However, another police officer shouted: "Wait a minute, our old methods are useless.Nowadays, fashion is in line with international standards. The US military in Iraq has ever-changing methods for torturing prisoners. Why not learn a thing or two? , Are you going to do something new today?" When the police heard this, they all said it was wonderful, and then they took the great sage to the demon-slaying platform, shocked him with electricity, burned him with fire, and chopped him with knives and axes, but they couldn't hurt him at all.
When the Jade Emperor saw this, he couldn't help but hesitate: "This guy, this guy, this guy...how to deal with it?" Laojun said: "Why don't you take it with Laojun and put it in the Bagua furnace
p>How about refining my elixir?" The Jade Emperor was overjoyed and gave the Great Sage to Laojun for training. Little did they know that the Great Sage had great supernatural powers. He plucked out a hair and turned it into a U.S. dollar. He bribed the fire-fanning boy. When he learned that there was wind and no fire under Xun, he went to escape without being seriously injured. < /p>
The Four Heavenly Kings disappeared without a trace. They beat them until they reached the Tongming Hall. The Jade Emperor was shocked when he saw this and shouted: "Quickly, close the door and release the police!" It turned out that the policemen were ten times more vicious than the regular police. , I saw everyone fighting bravely, roaring enthusiastically, surrounding the Great Sage in Gaixin, and they were about to win.
The Jade Emperor was rejoicing when he suddenly saw that all the policemen had gone to pieces. It turned out that this generation was greedy and only had gold and silver in their eyes. The golden chainmail of the Great Sage was roasting in the furnace
The nail ring came loose and was torn apart by the police officers. In an instant, everyone had a piece of gold in their mouths and ran back to the backyard to bury it and collect it.
Just when I had no choice, I suddenly saw Tathagata from the West coming to my aid and wanted to bet with the Great Sage. Tathagata said: "I have a magic weapon. If you can fly out of the jurisdiction of this magic weapon, I will let you take the position of the Jade Emperor. If you can't fly out, how about surrendering?" He took out the magic weapon from his arms, and when Wukong looked at it carefully, he found a small book with three characters on it: Temporary Residence Certificate. Then he smiled and said: "What kind of power can a small book have? I'll go!" He flew out from the sky and landed on the border of Beijing. As soon as he stepped down, he saw several policemen coming. : "Who is that talking about you? Take out the temporary residence permit and take a look!" Wukong was startled, twisted his waist, and then somersaulted to Guangzhou. While he was watching, he suddenly saw a group of joint defenders rushing towards him: " This one doesn't seem to have a temporary residence permit, catch him quickly!" He was trying to catch the Great Sage with all his hands. The Great Sage hurriedly separated his hands and flew back again. He couldn't tell the direction in his hurry, but he flew back. In front of the Tathagata. The Tathagata smiled and said: "How is my treasure?" The Great Sage said: "Don't count! Don't count! I heard that there are countries in the West that do not provide temporary residence permits. Wait for me to come!" Just as he was about to jump out, However, the Tathagata turned over his palm and turned the Temporary Residence Certificate
into a Five Elements Mountain, firmly suppressing the Great Sage.
The Jade Emperor was overjoyed when he saw that he had captured the Great Sage, so he invited Tathagata and other meritorious ministers, prepared mahjong for the dinner, escorts with stolen money, and held an Antian conference.
World party. While we were having fun, suddenly an old lady from the Wuxingshan Neighborhood Committee came to report: "The great sage stuck out his head and said that he wanted to break away and go to the job fair, submit his resume and send out business cards, and find a position. Let's make a comeback!" Tathagata said: "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter." He took out a post with six gold characters on it: "This person has a rural household registration" and handed it to his subordinates. On top of the mountain. He also borrowed another five hundred years from heaven to make sure that the post was firmly attached to the top and would not fall off. The mountain immediately took root and closed and the Great Sage could no longer climb out. Turn over.