Half of your life
Guo: Thank you, Teacher Yu, for coming to the show despite being sick. You are not in good health during this period
Yu: Not feeling well
Guo: Especially this time, the disease is very serious, and the appearance is completely disfigured
Yu: How come the appearance is disfigured?
Guo: Hemorrhoids
Yu: : Hemorrhoids are disfigured?
Guo: Incomplete
Yu: Never heard of it
Guo: I can’t tell at first glance
Yu: No matter if you look carefully
Guo: Okay, I hope you are not sick or in trouble, I hope you are smooth sailing, I hope everything goes well for you, I hope you are not like me
Yu: What's wrong with you
Guo: It's so difficult for me
Yu: You?
Guo: There are no outsiders here today. Tell me about me. The suffering in my heart
Yu: Can you tell me what sufferings you have?
Guo: It’s a long story (come to the table)
Yu: You Wait a moment, you go down and talk about it first
Guo: I’m used to getting on the kang at home
Yu: This guy can’t speak while standing
Guo: It’s not easy to spank a child. I’ve lived a life of injustice. It’s not easy.
Yu: Why is it so difficult?
Guo: No one would believe it if I told you.
Yu: Please tell me
Guo: You know? When you cough, you lose all your rings, and when you sneeze, you get a pinhole.
Yu: These are not even close to each other.
Guo: Pulling the cart in the horizontal ridge, one step at a time, eating sugar cakes will burn the back of your head
Yu: How did you get so burnt?
Guo: Take the sugar cakes Come on, eat it, tear it apart, and the sugar comes down, and lick it, clatter---
Yu: Hey, you don't mess with things, why are you licking them
Guo: In fact, I have been determined to serve the motherland since I was a child and be a person who is beneficial to the people
Yu: It is good to have this ideal
Guo: I have wanted to be an athlete since I was a child and win glory for the country.
Yu: This is good
Guo: One day I will stand on the podium, and when the national anthem plays, I will shed tears together
Yu: Too many It's glorious
Guo: My wish is that I train by myself. I want to become a good swimmer. I practice every day and become self-taught.
Yu: Oh, I train by myself
Guo: No, I can't do it. I know all the postures. I'm practicing just right, but I was blocked by the gardening department.
Yu: Are the swimming and gardening departments next to each other?
Guo: I practiced on the grass outside the door
Yu: I was scratching
Guo: They stopped me and I said I deserved to die (pronounced timidly)
Yu: He's still dead
Guo: If you don't let the practice pull you, will you be able to throw the shot put? Why don't you serve the country? Boring----it's quite far. My coach said, let's go out It doesn’t count.
Yu: The ball stayed there
Guo: This thing is very magical
Yu: What a miracle
Guo: It didn’t move me and I went out. I said that I deserved to die. I went to do other things, roller shoes, I’m proud of them
Yu: Those are called rollers
Guo: Wear them Wheels shoes, swish and slide, how fun it is
Yu: That’s okay
Guo: One day, in the World Series, I will be first in the wheel shoes. I can’t do it in the house
Yu: Xiao
Guo: The roller skating rink is not good, Xiao. Go to the outer ring road, put on your shoes, find a big truck, grab the back, and I will follow it.
Yu: This is not your skateboard
Guo: It’s exciting and fast. I just forgot to ask, this car is going to Inner Mongolia
Yu: Okay
Guo: Good guy, as soon as it came out of the outer ring road, it started to lift up. The windlass shoes were on fire, and the people came out and shouted: Look at Nezha
Yu: Get you These windlass shoes are like hot wheels
Guo: It’s a pity that I didn’t persist to Inner Mongolia, so I fell behind in Chengde
Yu: I understand
Guo: My shoes are all worn out , I was afraid of the pain, so I didn’t follow.
Yu: Yes, it will hurt my feet if I keep grinding
Guo: None of my wishes have come true, and school is not going well
p>
Yu: What happened to school
Guo: Just forget it, 10 years of elementary school and 12 years of middle school, these years----
Yu: Wait a minute, 10 years of elementary school and 12 years of middle school, how did you study?
Guo: They were reluctant to let me graduate
Yu: Was that because they were reluctant?
Guo : I was rated as the most familiar face in the whole school. New teachers always follow me to learn about the inside story of the school.
Yu: You are familiar with it. Tell them.
Guo: Neither do I. I love class, but I don’t understand what they say.
Yu: Oh, I don’t understand either.
Guo: He doesn’t like to look at me, and I don’t like to look at him either. He deserves it. You tell me, go to sleep in my dormitory
Yu: Just go to bed
Guo: I play mine, play the harmonica by myself, and read books
Yu: This is also a hobby
Guo: What are my two major hobbies? Playing the harmonica and finding a teacher to teach it. I love to learn it
Yu: Harmonica
Guo: How to play? I said you should practice the harmonica first, ah ha ah ha, practice like this, practice for three months, I am not interested in the harmonica, but very interested in the bones
Yu: You have changed your habits
Guo: My classmates always ask me to find out if they lose their keys
Yu: I can definitely find them
Guo: I have nothing to read, martial arts novels
Yu: Just read this idle book
Guo: I just like this, the flash of swords and shadows, reading aloud
Yu: Still reading
Guo: There is no one in the dormitory. I'm alone.
His blood is cold, his heart is cold,
Yu: They all say so
Guo: His sword is cold, his people are cold, this I'm freezing. What's the use of this?
Yu: What kind of book
Guo: What's the use of writing this?
Yu: Don't read it
Guo: It’s okay to stay here all day long. Just now, my wife will introduce me to a girlfriend
Yu: Oh, let’s have a date
Guo: She’s beautiful. It looks like a car accident scene, with eyes like this. (Squinting) Another sunny afternoon, my girlfriend Miss Prejudice and I were sitting at the 31 Flavors Ice Cream Shop in Brazzaville, Congo.
Yu: How did you find it?
Guo: I asked for the snowball. I watched her eat up what I had in front of me, spoonful by spoonful
Yu: She Can't see what's in front of me
Guo: I was so angry that I glared at her viciously, but she didn't take it seriously
Yu: Maybe I didn't see you
Guo: I think of my parents who are far away in the south. I haven’t been back home for so many years since I went to school. Are my parents in my hometown in good health? When will I be able to show my filial piety. I received a letter from my father this morning. .Dear child, you have been away from home for a long time and have not come back. Today, we were reminded by our neighbors that we have a child like you. We miss you very much. Our family has moved. I won’t tell you where to move. You guessed it? .
Yu: Is this a guess?
Guo: I took off the house number of our house when I left
Yu: This time I searched thoroughly. Homeless
Guo: The weather is very cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I twisted off the buttons and put it in your coat pocket.
Yu: This old man is careless
Guo: I still want to send you some money, but the envelope has been sealed
Yu: Then don’t bother
p>Guo: Where can I find them? I miss them very much. Bias has an idea to take me south with him
Yu: Go south?
Guo : I went to look for them at home. When I arrived at the Beijing Railway Station, I had no tickets. Thanks to my girlfriend, I went to the police and asked: Do you know where the ticket seller is?
Yu: The ticket seller?
Guo: It amused the police: I’m looking for him too
Yu: Yes, isn’t it? These two people were looking for him
Guo: I didn’t know later Where did she get two tickets?
Yu: I really bought them
Guo: We boarded the train heading west
Yu: Ben Went west
Guo: After walking on the train for 3 days and 3 nights, I finally got off at a place I didn’t recognize. She took me deep into the forest,
Yu : Entering the forest
Guo: I was so tired that I lay there and fell asleep. After an unknown amount of time, she pushed me: Hey. I said: What are you doing? There is good news and bad news. News
Yu: Two news
Guo: Which one do you want to listen to? What is the bad news?
Yu: Listen to the bad news first
Guo: We are lost. I don’t know this place. Besides, I guess we will have to live on cow dung from now on
Yu: Cow dung
Guo: Good news Where?
Yu: Listen again, it’s good
Guo: Cow dung is good
Yu: Hey, who cares?
Guo: (punching and kicking)
Yu: Come on, save some energy
Guo: After beating her, I walked back by myself. After more than half a year, I finally Back to my dormitory
Yu: Okay, half a year left
Guo: Hey, what’s the point of living? Why go there?
Yu: I can’t think about it
Guo: Die, commit suicide, that’s one way to do it
Yu: No more alive?
Guo: Yes, I want to commit suicide. Well, get an electric shock
Yu: Touching the switch is a good way. This
It's faster
Guo: To be on the safe side, try it with a pen
Yu: I understand everything
Guo: Goodbye, I'm dead. Teng-- There's a power outage
Yu: Well, what can I do?
Guo: It's so outrageous, I can't help but die by jumping off the building
Yu: Falling off the building
Guo: Hey, jump off the building and die, there’s so much Coke
Yu: Is there any Coke
Guo: I’ve researched it. 20th floor, 2nd floor The effect of jumping off a building is different.
Yu: What’s the difference?
Guo: Look, jumping from the 2nd floor is ah-pop-. 20th floor is ah----- ----Pop.
Yu: That’s the difference, it’s really not that great
Guo: It’s high-tech. I’m on the 30th floor, bang-----
Yu: Why is this sound
Guo: There is an iron fence installed
Yu: Didn’t jump out
Guo: Play it for me I'm back. Let's take the rat poison
Yu: Take the poison
Guo: Search through the cabinets and find a big bag of rat poison
Yu: Take it
Guo: I'm waiting to die after eating. After waiting for a long time, why are I so hungry? When I got up, I looked at this bag, yeast tablets
Yu: I saw it clearly
Guo: OK I haven’t eaten in a few days, what can I digest? I’m not dead
Yu: Oh, I’m not dead again
Guo: I haven’t had time to enjoy the wonderful life yet, live well. I What should I do? Let me print counterfeit money and do business.
Yu: Is this a business?
Guo: A friend who died told me, don’t It is illegal to print large tickets
Yu: Small tickets are also illegal
Guo: You print for one yuan a piece. I said I don’t understand this. Where can I buy paper? Ink, how to print. He said don't worry about it. Just give me the money and I will print it for you. It will look like the real thing and cost about 40 yuan a piece.
Yu: One yuan a piece
Guo: Later I wondered if he was lying to me
Yu: Maybe he was lying to you
Guo: This is not very honest
p>
Yu: Isn't it?
Guo: You want to exchange 5 yuan for one piece. This is excusable, isn't it?
Yu: Okay, He is worthy of being your father's son
Guo: This is not a solution. Let's do something else. I'll rob a bank
Yu: This is not a good idea
Guo : There is money in the bank, so let me start writing my work diary. I think of ways and precautions. I must succeed in the robbery. There are a few precautions.
Yu: There are other things to note. Things to note
Guo: Don’t take it lightly, we have experience in this area
Yu: Still have experience
Guo: We have a senior who robbed banks. Because his aim was inaccurate and he was strong, he ran to the armed police dormitory with a kitchen knife.
Yu: I didn’t find out clearly
Guo: He failed
Yu: Nonsense, didn’t you fail?
Guo: We also have a senior who was very successful and robbed 1.83 million in cash
Yu: That’s a lot
Guo: I drove to Quanyechang
Yu: Why did I go there?
Guo: It was exactly 5:30 in the afternoon. When the police came, he still stopped there
Yu: Can't you run? This is it
Guo: We also have a senior who made a sack to cover his head. He is so thoughtful.
Yu: Yes
Guo: The sack forgot to take out its eyes
Yu: He can’t see either
Guo: He was crushed to death by Kacha when he crossed the road
Yu: It’s too miserable
Guo: How miserable, we still have a senior
Yu: Why do you have so many seniors
Guo: Anyway, there is one Senior, everything is fine with a gun. Once you get in, rob someone and take out the money.
More than 40 people behind took out their guns, police, pay wages.
Yu: Well, he only went when they were all together, right?
Guo: I must Success, I'll fight hard,
Yu: Let's learn
Guo: I must fight, I exercise, run, I go out at four o'clock in the morning
Yu: Key body
Guo: If a good guy doesn’t catch you, you can outrun him
Yu: Yes
Guo: Morning I got up at four o'clock and went downstairs to run. As soon as I ran, I saw that there was a dog walker in our community. The puppy was very cute. His name was Zang Nao.
Yu: Is that a puppy? That big dog
Guo: You have such a big head
Yu: Your gestures are correct
Guo: Hey, that’s so lively and cute. It also chases after me when I run. It’s so scary. I'm going, it's fast, I'm going straight to the north
Yu: I'm going to the north
Guo: Dumped me, I feel very at ease, I succeeded
Yu: Did you get rid of it?
Guo: I got rid of Zang'ao. When I came back from Zhangjiakou by car after dinner in the evening, I thought -
Yu: You wait first Yes, you have already run away to Zhangjiakou
Guo: Think about it, can those legs be slow?
Yu: How did I get rid of this dog?
Guo: I think I need a helper
Yu: I have an assistant
Guo: I need someone to help me. I have a friend who has stolen things for three generations in his family.
Yu: Den of thieves
Guo: He is in the south. I wrote a letter to help me and rob the bank. He was so happy that he took a car and rushed north. On the train, I was very diligent and used a napkin to write down the robbery plan
Yu: I wrote the robbery plan on the train
Guo: I sat there and wrote it. There was an old Red Army soldier sitting next to me. The train was coming directly. Went to the police station
Yu: Oh, the railroad tracks are now laid
Guo: I decided, I will do it alone. There is a bank downstairs, I will go on the road first. I will go there at noon. , what are you afraid of? When I came to the front, bang, oh, this is
Yu: What's going on
Guo: The glass is too bright
Yu: You can see that door clearly.
Guo: My nose is crooked. Let’s go see a doctor next door. This unfortunate hospital next door was originally a bathhouse. It doesn’t know anything except pedicures.
Yu: I can’t watch it yet
Guo: After a long time, I think robbing the bank was a mistake and I should rob the cash transport truck
Yu: Oh, that car
Guo: There is money there
Yu: That’s right
Guo: I’m practicing now
Yu: How do I practice this
Guo: Let me take the bicycle first to say goodbye to the Grand Duke***
Yu: You are risking your life
Guo: Well, practice, get up early and practice hard every day. That day I was following the street While I was practicing, the cash transport truck came and hit a group of gangsters. They held guns and started fighting. Many people died. The truck also overturned. The big iron box fell next to me and knocked me away. It’s all money at first glance
Yu: Money
Guo: There are hundreds of thousands, God will not starve to death. I, Guo Degang, have become rich, and all the money is mine. I am unlucky carrying the box.
Yu: What kind of bad luck is this?
Guo: Blame me
Yu: Why
Guo: I took the suitcase to the bank to deposit money
Yu: Are you short-sighted