In the face of the global epidemic, the performance of some foreign students, such as Xu Kexin, also reflects the educational concept of our society, especially some problems of the educational circles and parents. The question of what kind of people to train is a fundamental question, and it is no exaggeration to say that it is related to the future and destiny of the country!
What is "very wise"? In my opinion, it includes at least four aspects: filial piety to parents, respect for teachers, patriotism and law-abiding, honesty and trustworthiness. What's wrong with such a child? Are the parents who can cultivate such a' very sensible' child the most failed parents? Obviously not!
Parents are their children's first teachers and their best teachers. Parents' words and deeds have a direct impact on their children's life. Don't ruin children by teaching them! !
I'm glad to answer your question.
In life, we often hear people say, "Look, our children are more sensible and adults are more worry-free." It turned out that when I heard this, I began to envy the adults in that family and felt that they were really lucky to have such lovely children. But later, the eldest daughter asked me, "mom, do you know?" A sensible child is the most pitiful. " A stone stirs up a thousand waves. I suddenly remembered an article I read. The children didn't cry in the face of their long-distance parents, just watched them leave rationally, but how collapsed they were! If you cry in front of your parents, maybe you will feel better inside and let him bear all the sadness of parting. "The child saw his mother cry three times." That's because in front of mom, we can relax and cry if we want. Smiling is a state of freedom. And if in front of others, we will consider many factors and dare not do it. Because we always want to show our best side to others, try to leave a good impression on others and let others praise us. This is why children are disobedient in the eyes of parents, but clever and sensible in front of others.
Why do you say that "the biggest failure of parents is to raise a' very sensible' child"?
First, such children are not confident enough. On the surface, the child is very sensible and has not made his parents angry, but in fact he has been bound by his parents, or he has been suppressing his heart. In the long run, he will become irritable, withdrawn, not confident enough, and most importantly, he will live very tired. Most importantly, our parents have great hopes for their children and always set too high demands on them. But when he fails to meet his parents' expectations through hard work, there will be a huge sense of gap in his heart and a sense of failure will linger in his heart. He will feel that he is nothing, and his efforts have not met his parents' requirements. This will have a bad influence on his future work and study. When he reaches adolescence, or when his parents nag repeatedly, he will become irritable, rebellious and ignorant, just to vent his dissatisfaction and depression, stop listening to his parents and become ignorant.
Secondly, such children will lose their childhood nature. "Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives." These children were kidnapped by sensible people. They were mature and sensible when they were young, but they were wronged and unhappy prematurely. This maturity, which is not in line with their age, makes them lose their innocent nature in childhood. You know, no matter how sensible a child is, he is only a child in essence. Such children will follow suit all their lives, not live high, but live in the shadow of others. Because he is used to being himself in the eyes of others, rather than trying to be himself.
Third, such children will be very fragile inside. These "very sensible" children all have a blx, which is very fragile. They are afraid of criticism from others. If criticized, they will feel that they have become very imperfect and totally unacceptable. psychological resilience is very poor and can't stand any ups and downs.
As parents, in the process of educating their children, they should learn to "turn a blind eye", give them a certain chance to make mistakes and give them a free space. As long as it does not violate principles and morality, children can be willful, otherwise it will be counterproductive.
I hope my answer will satisfy you!
Doing one's own thing well is the beginning of children's practice. In this process, children will gain self-care ability, willpower and sense of responsibility, and learn to take responsibility. This is a necessary lesson in life. Parents, let go of your hand, and the child will eventually be independent. Know manners, gratitude, etiquette, love and gratitude, raise your smiling face and face life with a smile. This is not only an indispensable part of interpersonal communication, but also the embodiment of personal quality, the beginning of a better life and the best gift you can give your children. Don't make excuses for lying. No one likes a lying child. Parents should set an example in this process and tell their children that lying is not the solution. They should be brave enough to admit their mistakes and then help them solve their problems together. To tell yourself that I am the best to make children confident, first of all, parents should trust him, respect him, encourage him, appreciate him and encourage him to try more, but don't expect perfection, know their children correctly, don't deny him easily, and help them look at themselves correctly. Reasonable allocation of time helps children to make a reasonable schedule of work and rest, which is flexible and conforms to children's personality characteristics, guides children to cherish time, improves efficiency, and teaches children to prioritize and allocate time better. Of course, first of all, parents should be punctual. Let the children experience some setbacks and give them some opportunities to be frustrated. Parents' duty is to guide rather than protect. Setbacks are not a bad thing. Only by letting children stand up on their own can they get closer to success. Let children learn to be patient and know that success and satisfaction are not so easy. Let children have the courage to try and not bow to difficulties. Learn to control yourself. Children are inevitably sensitive and psychologically fragile. It is necessary to create a positive environment for children. At the same time, parents should also teach their children how to face negative emotions, teach them self-control, don't indulge in material comforts, don't be jealous, don't be depressed, learn to face criticism with a correct attitude and stay away from "willfulness". Turning dreams into goals, caring about children's dreams and turning dreams into practical goals will become the driving force for learning knowledge. Parents should not worry about their children's "100,000 whys", but should follow the trend, regard it as the driving force for their children to pursue knowledge and protect their imagination. These are the sources of new thinking. Opinions are more important than obedience. Parents should know that in the new era, society needs talents with independent opinions and personalities. If they just obey blindly, it is difficult to make a difference. To cultivate independent children, we should encourage them to express their opinions boldly and give them the opportunity to judge and handle some things by themselves.
Interest is more important than grades. Parents sometimes think, "What do children know? When he grows up, he will definitely thank me! " However, what a child likes is his personal right. What parents should do is to respect their children and let interest be their successful mentor.
"The biggest failure of parents is that they have not brought up a' very sensible' child."
Words like "sensible" and "really good" seem to be the greatest affirmation and praise for children, but behind the mature and sensible age, children often have grievances and forbearance. How many children's parents say "be sensible" and "be obedient", which makes them afraid to buy things they like, dare not say that they want toys that they can't put down, and even dare not say that they dream of comic books. Many children who are particularly obedient when they are young and are good at seeking perfection through grievances often lack opinions when they grow up. They don't know what they want, so they let others arrange the so-called ideal life.
Therefore, the child's "sensible" may be just the child's external performance, but it is necessary to care about the child's inner world. Is it really a good thing that children are too sensible? If you have a three-year-old child, what do you want him to look like? Give you two choices:
First, I am very sensible, know how to be quiet, know how to put myself in others' shoes, and have no ADHD. I am a quiet child. I can even listen to you quietly for more than an hour.
The second kind is very naughty and has a strong curiosity about new things. The walls at home are all their favorite colors, and sometimes they cry and accidentally get water and paper all over the floor. It seems that there is nothing they can do about it.
If it were you, which would you choose? I will choose the second one.
In fact, empathy and understanding are not a bad thing, but it is a terrible thing to know empathy and understanding too early! Of course, it doesn't mean that "disobedient" children must be smart and top-notch. Children's "understanding" should be more reflected in the rules of life and behavioral ethics, while children are active by nature and have many circuitous ideas. Parents should make correct guidance and use it in learning and treating things. Parents can explore more fun with their children and guide their children in real life.
The growth of children needs a process. I'd rather the child is not so good and sensible, and should cry and make trouble, and don't let him suppress his heart. The surface is good, but the heart will never grow up!
Wise parents will not deliberately show their "majesty" in front of their children, but will allow their children to have different opinions like friends, respect their different characteristics and allow them to retain their own personality. We allow children to vent their inner feelings. If it is unreasonable, we can politely and persistently express our refusal and never hurt the child's heart with a decisive attitude and way. I hope our children can eat sugar as well as sugar, and I hope every child can become his own personality!
Tips: Parents, being too sensible is not a good thing. Parents should immediately guide. If you have questions, please leave a message!
I found the right person to recommend this question to me.
But if I answer truthfully, it may be harmonious or even delete posts directly;
If I talk nonsense, I will mislead others.
I can only say that I have lived for decades and have been weathered by the weather. There are mistakes, there are gains and losses, and I have never regretted it. The only regret is this problem.
But what makes me feel a little comforted is that when the child is older, he already has the ability to completely distinguish right from wrong; At the same time, real life is an excellent teacher, constantly telling my children to be kind and not to forget that bad people are everywhere.
The only way I can remedy it now is that I can't teach cruelty or change good thoughts. We can only ask for continuous attention, early detection and early prevention.
Actually, I don't need to teach this. My own experience is enough for my children to study for a lifetime. I made preparations several years in advance, and all honest people said that I was alarmist, and no one dared at the moment. In this way, the bad guys are still doing harm to me and my family.
Not much to say, people with good thoughts and good thoughts come to help.
People don't know, God knows. I like this because it is also true.
I have listened to my mother since I was a child.
Not naughty, not fighting,
No trouble, no trouble,
Neighbors all praise dolls.
Good boy, bullied,
Bad kids keep me away.
Avoid walking, avoid strength,
Demons often chase you and bully you,
Get worse.
Help others, remain humble,
Diligently enslaved,
Good things without you.
Love labor, obey the rules,
Dirty work done by fools,
Model workers stay away from you.
No smoking, no drinking,
Colleagues are not very popular,
This object is hard to find.
Don't be a good boy,
Good children can't eat;
Where there are water chestnuts,
Become a market.
In order to survive, dare to innovate,
Strengths in the sports field,
The law determines the depth of the forest.
Don't make trouble, don't be afraid of things,
The Chinese nation will never give in,
Hard core is the truth.
Let's take a look at what "sensible" is. Baidu explains it this way: know how to do the right thing and say the right thing at the right time; I also know that standing in the position of others and thinking of others will not bring embarrassment and trouble to others. In short, things will be more round, and people will not do things that are criticized without thinking.
I believe that when friends see this definition, you may feel that it is difficult for adults to make such a difficult request, let alone children. The key point is that the topic also increases the difficulty of "understanding". "Being sensible" is so difficult to do, and adding the attribute "very" is even harder and harder. For children, it is really more difficult than "it is difficult to go to the sky"!
So I quite agree with this view: the biggest failure of parents is to raise a "very sensible" child.
How about a "very sensible" child?
To put it bluntly, a very sensible child always listens to his parents and tells him to go east, but he dares not go west; Let him beat the dog, he dare not drive away the chicken. Such a child is suitable for the college entrance examination, but such a child has no ability to think independently and distinguish right from wrong.
At home, I am a good boy, and my parents and grandparents will like it. Outside, I am also the kind of "other people's children" who are praised by others. But for the child himself, he listens to adults everywhere, always looks at others' glances, and often does what he doesn't like and must do in order to please others. How do you think the child's heart is wronged and slowly distorted?
According to Professor Li Meijin, the causes of a person's crime are all formed before the crime, especially before 12 years old. The previous repression and distortion broke out when he was young and unable to resist.
We have a saying: wings are hard and you don't listen to your parents? Mr. Lu Xun once said: "Silence, silence, if it doesn't break out in silence, it will perish in silence." Great, it seems to be the portraits of these "very sensible children", lifelike, lifelike.
What will a "very sensible" child look like in the future?
A "very sensible" child has a high probability of doing nothing all his life.
At home, he is just a tool to carry out parents' desires; In society, he can only carry out the orders of leaders and bosses mechanically, because his brain can't think for a long time.
People who can't think have another name in the workplace, called "workplace white". There are not many of you, and there are not many of you. How can such a person achieve anything? Another worst possibility is to go straight to crime, because he will "explode in silence"!
How to cultivate children, the best?
Parents should have love and patience, respect their children, give them appropriate freedom and give them the right to speak, so that children can act. This has two advantages:
One is to satisfy the "vanity" of parents. If your son is Ma Yun and your son is Wang Xiaoming, would you feel the same way? Although it is a joke, the truth can't be wrong!
Second, it is beneficial to society. Our country needs scientific and technological talents with "independent spirit and free thinking". We need master talents who can answer Qian Xuesen's questions, have ideals, skills and responsibilities.
In the last sentence, it is not a bad thing to make children "bad"!
A: Children have a rebellious shadow living in their hearts since childhood. Rebellious psychology is the normal psychology that children should have. Rebellious children have their own thoughts and hearts that they don't want to be controlled anymore. This is often contrary to the director expected by parents. There is a limit to everything. If parents have strict management and requirements during their children's rebellious period, children will become extremely rebellious, and this moment will be very dangerous. After all, children of this age are still immature and can do anything stupid, so parents should communicate well with their children and give more help and guidance. Once they rebel, the consequences are unimaginable.
What should parents do: Because every child is naughty and willful by nature, parents should not only strictly demand and restrain their children, but also give them correct guidance and educate them in the right way. Sometimes we should look at the problem from the child's point of view, get along with the child as a friend and educate the child what to do. Guide children to solve problems by themselves. With the growth of children, we will cultivate "very sensible" children, that is, successful successors!
The biggest failure of parents is to raise a disappointing child, and the biggest pride is to raise a good child. A good boy doesn't need his parents to worry about anything, and he will also contribute to defending the country.
Look at those heroes who died for their country, those who sacrificed all their interests for their country. How cute are they? Heroes are not blown out, they are spelled out. How much you have suffered, how much you have sweated, how much you are tired, and who knows how much you have paid behind this glory. Good children follow the rules since childhood, almost with a kind heart. The better people are, the more responsible they are, most of them are the pillars of the country, and the more willing they are to pay for the society.
For those disobedient children, it is futile for parents to try hard and beat and scold. They are social rubbish. They rely on excellent people to manage the worst garbage, do not work, do not do their duty, make trouble everywhere, their parents are unfilial, eat, drink, gamble and have everything. Those talents are their parents' greatest failure. The country and the family are managed by those 25% talents. 35% of the garbage is protected by themselves, and 40% of the garbage depends on parents and the country. Those people are the biggest failure of their parents.