4 words of homophonic jokes
In our study, work or life day after day, we are always exposed to jokes. The following is a 4-word homophonic joke book compiled by me for reference only. Welcome to read it.
homophonic joke 1
1. When fighting back against Vietnam in self-defense, one day the Vietnamese side sent female soldiers to attack our position, and the scouts ran up panting: "Report to the company commander, Vietnamese female soldiers are pushing up!" Looking at the company commander again, he calmly waved his hand and gave the order: "All right, comrades, let's attack." After a fierce fight, the investigators reported again: "Report to the company commander that most of the Vietnamese female soldiers were annihilated, and the rest fled after being frightened.
2. Here are the ears (interesting)
The newly appointed magistrate of a county is from Shandong. Because he has to pay the bill, he said to the master, "Buy me two bamboo poles." The master listened to the "bamboo pole" of Shandong dialect as "pig liver", and quickly agreed, and hurried to the butcher's shop and said to the shopkeeper, "The new county grandfather wants to buy two pig livers. You are a wise man, so you should know it!" The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pig livers and gave away a pair of pig ears. After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and of course this pig ear is mine." So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. When I returned to the county government, I reported to the magistrate: "Report back, Grandpa, I bought the pig liver!" When the magistrate saw that the master bought pig liver, he was angry and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and hurriedly replied, "Ears are here in my pocket!" "
3. Auntie He said to his wife, "Uncle Han, the neighbor, named his grandson Han Jinliang, and Uncle Gao named his grandson Gao Xin. We are going to have a grandson soon. Why don't you give him a resounding name?" Uncle He said without thinking, "Just call it a weapon!
4. The headmaster is angry [funny]
At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious about the inefficiency of personnel administration. He said: "Those who are in charge of directors' business are not sensible; Being unconscious in charge of personnel management; Being an officer is not an officer! "
5. In the middle school class, the teacher of the course of socialist economic theory (hereinafter referred to as Socioeconomics) is angrily reading out the test results: everyone did badly in the Socioeconomics exam this time. Obviously, you didn't spend your energy on Socioeconomics. In fact, Socioeconomics is a very simple course. You will get results if you work hard. Read the results below: Yang Wei, failed in social economics. Homophonic joke 2
1. If you want me to die, I have to die
Mushrooms were walking on the road and were hit by oranges. "I don't have long eyes, go to hell," said the mushroom angrily. "Then the orange died. Because the bacteria will kill the orange, the orange has to die.
2. sika deer
During the festival, the little rabbit said angrily to the deer: You see other girls can receive flowers, why don't you give them to me? The deer said piteously, because I am a sika deer.
3. Life-long driving ban
In the driving school theory class today, the teacher said, "Those who cause serious traffic accidents and escape are forbidden to drive for life."
A girl in the back raised her hand and said, "So I'll never get married?" Everyone is going to faint with laughter ...
4. Coffin maker
Grandpa called his young and ignorant grandson to bed when he was critically ill, and said with his last breath, "Son, this world ... is good for being an official!" The little grandson is an obedient child, and he firmly remembers his grandfather's words before he died. Many years later, he finally became the best coffin maker in the village.
5. Express delivery
A woman came to a man's house to play, and the woman teased the man and said, I will marry you if you have a piece of land. At this moment, the doorbell rang, and the courier brother said, Sir, there is a courier for you!
6.
Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his family's fields, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He had to give him a chicken first.
there was a tenant named Zhang San, who went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and shared the land in the following year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent, and told the landlord about the next year's tenancy. Seeing that he was empty-handed, he said with his eyes to the sky, "There are no three kinds of fields in this field." Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.
When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?" Zhang San said, "Your words have become so fast!"
The landlord replied, "Just now that sentence was' nonsense', but now this sentence is' improvising'."
7. Here's the ear
The newly appointed magistrate of a county is from Shandong. Because he wants to hang up, he said to the master, "Buy me two bamboo poles."
touts recognized the "bamboo pole" of Shandong dialect as "pig liver", and quickly agreed to it. They hurried to the butcher's shop and said to the shopkeeper, "The new county grandfather wants to buy two pig livers, so you know better!"
The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pig livers and gave away a pair of pig ears.
After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and of course this pig ear is mine ..." So he wrapped the hunting ear, stuffed it into his pocket, returned to the county government, and reported to the magistrate: "Report back, Grandpa, I bought pig liver! "
seeing that the touts bought pig liver, the magistrate of a county was angry and said," Where are your ears? " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and hurriedly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "
8. There is an opportunity
A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to go by plane, so he sent a telegram to the manager for fear that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "There is an opportunity, can I take it?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was the "opportunity" to close the deal, and immediately called back: "Take it when you can."
when the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses because he was not qualified enough and would not be reimbursed by plane. The salesman took out the manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.
9. Place names
On New Year's Eve, my younger brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more formal. During the dinner. The cheerful classmate smiled and pointed to the stiff classmate and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone, raised his head and gulped it down, and then said, "I'm from Yangon."
1. The headmaster got angry
At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel administration. He said: "Those who are in charge of directors' business are not sensible; Being unconscious in charge of personnel management; Being an officer is not an officer! "
11. Meeting in the countryside
A meeting in a village was homophonic, and the village head said, "Rabbits and shrimps, don't paste melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk, the meeting is now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big tortoise." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls.
12. Crab.
The crab accidentally bumped into the loach when going out for a walk.
The loach was very angry: "Are you blind?"
The crab is very wronged: "No, I am a crab!" "
13. Never marry
Today, in the driving school theory class, the teacher said, "Those who cause serious traffic accidents and escape are forbidden to drive for life."
A girl in the back raised her hand and said, "So I'll never get married?"
14. Zhu Jing is here
My girlfriend's name is Zhu Jing. When I took my girlfriend back to my hometown in the countryside for the first time, I said, Mom, Zhu Jing is here.
when mom heard this, she said: The pig came in and just drove it out!
15. Make a clean break
In Chinese class, Xiao Ming didn't listen carefully when the teacher was talking about text analysis. Suddenly, the teacher asked, "Xiao Ming, what did paragraphs 1 to 2 explain?" Xiao Ming was stunned and said, "Does the article make a clean break mean that he broke up with Ma Yili?"
16. G.E.M.
Niu Niu and Da Zhuang are playing downstairs. Niu Niu suggested, "Let's play as stars!" "Yes, yes!" "Think of me as G.E.M.!" "Ok!" Da Zhuang was so excited that he pushed Niu Niu to the ground and rode up. Niu Niu was startled, and she screamed out with a groan: "Wang Dazhuang Cao, your father, who his mother told you to ride me as a stool!"
17. Keys
The bus I was driving arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off in file. At the moment when the door was about to close, a lady shouted outside the door. "I will die in your car!
I was so nervous that I immediately closed the door and stepped on the accelerator, thinking; " There are so many strange people in the city.''
Unexpectedly, the lady actually called a taxi to chase after my bus and finally stopped.
The door opened and the lady shouted again; "Why don't you stop? I will die in your car!
I asked her in fear; " Miss, what are you upset about?
He angrily walked to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me; "I'm going to die [key] in your car! Homophonic joke 3
regional culture
A class teacher takes maternity leave, and the school arranges geography. Li Xian takes his place. One day, the monitor found Li Xiansheng and complained anxiously: "The blackboard newspaper in our class has not been published this month, and the school will evaluate it next week. Please set a theme and ask everyone to provide manuscripts."
Li Xiansheng thought for a moment and said, "Go back to class immediately and tell the students that this month's blackboard newspaper will take' regional culture' as the theme, and please actively contribute funny homophonic jokes."
The monitor went back to the classroom and announced on the blackboard that the theme of this month's blackboard newspaper-asking questions in hell, please contribute actively.
selling fish in the market
In a lively market, a fish seller shouted "fresh fish". At this moment, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted "soaking in sugar". The fish seller listened and said to the sugar seller, "Hey, why did you say that my fish was soaked?" The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. At this moment, a bean sprout seller shouted again: "Bean sprouts (fighting)"
A security guard came over and asked: "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted, "avocado (with me)." After listening to this, the security guard said, "Well, take the four of you with you."
The steel door is broken
The door of the bathroom at home is a particularly funny homophonic joke made of plastic steel. One day, the door was broken and stuck there, so my dad called the master who sold the door.
My dad: "Master, my steel door (anus) is broken"
Master: "Er ~~ ~ that, or I'll call you 12"
The United States and Japan are in Asia
Mr. Li: How do you say that both the United States and Japan are in Asia?
Quanqiutong: What's wrong with being in Asia every day? Aren't I in Asia every day?
Dip in and eat standing up
A foreign girl came to China. At breakfast, she was told, "Dip in."
She immediately stood up and was told, "Dip it in!"
confused, she said aggrieved, "Let me eat standing up. I've stood up. Where should I stand?" ;