Comrades from the county statistics bureau went to the countryside to conduct an agricultural census and went to a farmer's house for a meal. The 70-year-old farmer from the farm greeted him warmly: E

Comrades from the county statistics bureau went to the countryside to conduct an agricultural census and went to a farmer's house for a meal. The 70-year-old farmer from the farm greeted him warmly: Excuse me, are you a member of the Central Government or the Military Government? A hotel guest went downstairs to dine, followed closely by a young lady. The lady asked for a price, and the passengers were quite dissatisfied. Passenger: Your room is too big, I’m not satisfied! Lady: It’s because your furniture is too small. Passenger: Your house is too humid. Lady: The guests just left, and before I could rush to clean up, you came in. A customer lost his temper and asked the waiter: Why does this lobster only have one large claw? The waiter said proudly: This just proves that our lobsters are fresh enough. They were fighting in the kitchen! The customer's tone was much gentler: Okay, please give me a winning lobster. A gentleman walked out of the hotel and got into his car. After sitting down, he found that there was nothing in front of him, so he said: My steering wheel and clutch were stolen. Later I discovered that I was sitting in the back seat. Being an official is not afraid of the difficulty of drinking. You only have to drink thousands of glasses of wine. The mandarin duck hot pot is filled with gentle waves, fresh seafood and fish balls. The sauna makes the whole body warm, and the mahjong massage makes the whole body feel cold. What's more, I like that the lady's skin is as good as snow, and her face is full of beauty after being escorted. A certain groom was a military police lieutenant colonel. When toasting, he said: From now on, he will work as a military policeman during the day and a policeman at night. It turns out that the bride is a police officer. At the wine table, the gentleman waved to the waitress and said: Bring me some mustard (program). Waiter: What program do you want? The husband said: Just the yellow one. When drinking, pay attention to four types of people: those with red cheeks, those with pigtails, those who keep quiet, and those who carry pills. Two drunk men walked on the subway together. One complaint: Why is this staircase endless? Another snorted: Its armrests are so low! "My husband can neither drink nor gamble." "Then you are so lucky to have found a model husband." "But he doesn't know how to drink, so he drinks, and he doesn't know how to gamble, so he gambles." A manager just celebrated his birthday , but looked sad. After a friend asked in every possible way, he finally revealed the reason: It was my birthday yesterday, and the beautiful female secretary told me that she would celebrate my birthday at her house in the evening. I drank some wine to strengthen my courage and arrived as scheduled. The female secretary said, you wait in the living room first, and I will go to the bedroom to prepare. If you come in in five minutes, I will give you a surprise. Five minutes later, I opened the bedroom door. All my colleagues in the company were there and prepared a cake for me. Friend: Wouldn’t that be great? Manager: But I went in naked!