1. I give you my loneliness, my darkness and my heart's hunger
Wen/critical ice
"May there be light in my eyes in the future and live what I want."
MengMeng edited the last word with slender fingers, clicked on some buttons visible to friends, selected one of the groups named Ke, and then pressed the publish button to push the message to the circle of friends.
It is a compulsory course for MengMeng to push messages to this group in the circle of friends every day.
after breakfast in the morning, she will take photos with her mobile phone and send them to her circle of friends.
after yoga at noon, take a beautiful selfie in front of the mirror and send it to a circle of friends.
Before going to bed at night, after browsing the chicken soup in the subscription number, MengMeng is used to sending her feelings of the day to her circle of friends.
...
However, MengMeng's circle of friends will never receive comments and praises, because all her information is only pushed to a group of friends, and there is only one person in this group.
2. Affectionate people are mercilessly annoyed, and tonight seems like last night.
MengMeng is a friend of mine. Recently, she has fallen into extreme anxiety. She fell in love with a man named Ke Li, the CEO of an Internet startup called Starry Sky, which is a big customer of MengMeng's company.
MengMeng is responsible for the expansion of the company's big data solutions. Starry sky is one of her expansion goals.
the first time we met was in wangjing soho starry headquarters.
"Miss, who are you looking for?" The white and beautiful girl at the front desk, with a smile and big sparkly eyes, asked MengMeng politely.
"I'm Alina Zhang, the business development manager of Company A. I have an appointment with General Manager Li at 2 pm." MengMeng also politely responded.
"ok, you come with me."
The girl led MengMeng to a spacious and bright office. The large floor-to-ceiling glass windows were transparent and neat. There was a silver-white Apple computer on a spacious desk. Behind the desk sat a handsome and handsome young man. A white shirt with good texture was tightly wrapped in a strong figure, and the neckline of the shirt was opened at will. A Bulgari platinum necklace fell down inadvertently, and the breath of hormones burst out.
"Mr. Li, your guest has arrived." The front desk girl said sweetly.
Ke Li raised his head and looked at MengMeng with deep eyes. His chiseled face, straight Greek nose, not very wide eyebrows, slender eyes with single eyelids, two thin lips, and his mouth was raised. For a moment, there was Jing Bo Ran's sense of sight.
MengMeng felt his face turn red. I didn't expect the deep and steady voice on the phone to come from such a handsome boy.
"Hello, Manager Zhang, please sit down." The familiar slightly magnetic voice rang again.
MengMeng suddenly felt the deer bumping around inside. I haven't felt this way for a long time since I broke up with my first boyfriend.
That afternoon, MengMeng was absent-minded, listening to Ke Li and Kan Kan, talking about the future of the Internet and the development trend of big data … MengMeng admired the young CEO's understanding of the Internet industry.
Unfortunately, after all, Xiaoxiao is just a start-up company, and the solution recommended by MengMeng Company is not suitable.
When he left, MengMeng added Li Ke WeChat.
After returning home, she can't wait to open Ke Li's circle of friends to see his life, but Ke Li's circle of friends is always a gray horizontal line.
Since then, MengMeng will open Ke Li's head every day when he is free, and MengMeng will be inexplicably excited when he sees his sunny and warm smiling face.
She was used to diving in a circle of friends, and began to update her dynamics from time to time every day. MengMeng set up a group called Ke in the circle of friends, in which only Ke Li was put, and the function of grouping friends allowed MengMeng to express herself without scruple.
MengMeng wants Ke Li to see a healthy, interesting and talented aunt. So I tried my best to bask in sports, food and books ...
Friends who are familiar with MengMeng know that she is a typical stay-at-home girl and has almost no hobbies. The visible function of grouping friends circle allows MengMeng to be who he wants to be.
This reminds me of
the famous "Impression Management" in psychology, in which people try to manage and control others' impressions of themselves, so as to get favorable evaluation and relationship feedback for themselves as much as possible.
I have to admit that Tencent's research on users' psychology is quite in place.
3. Unrequited love is destined to be a lonely journey for one person.
However, MengMeng did not receive the expected feedback. Ke Li in the circle of friends completely ignored her performance, with no feedback, evaluation or praise.
Psychologists define UnrequitedLove as a situation in which a unrequited lover desires to establish an attachment relationship with another person, but the other party does not respond to the same desire.
MengMeng in unrequited love began to become anxious, and her uncontrollable thoughts, like ivy growing wildly on the roadside, unconsciously filled MengMeng's heart.
she wandered around alone for several times, and unexpectedly came to the vicinity of Wangjing soho without anyone knowing. But she was afraid of accidentally bumping into Ke Li, and this feeling of contradiction was overwhelming MengMeng.
once again, she turned to soho T3, and happened to meet the girl at the front desk with twinkling eyes, who had just come out of Costa coffee shop.
MengMeng recognized the girl first, and hurriedly bowed his head and turned to leave.
I didn't expect the girl to recognize her, too.
"Hey, Manager Zhang, what a coincidence, are you here on business?"
the girl's voice is still sweet.
"Oh, no, I have an appointment with a friend …" MengMeng perfunctory.
"Well, welcome to our company again", the girl skillfully said to MengMeng with well-trained words.
"oh, ok, is manager Li busy recently?" MengMeng took the opportunity to summon up courage to ask 1.
"We, Mr. and Mrs. Li, have gone to Morocco for a holiday."
"Are you all married, Mr. Li?" MengMeng was a little dizzy in an instant.
"yes, don't you know? Mr. Li has been married for a long time, and their relationship is very good. Every year, no matter how busy they are, they will take time off ... "
The girl is also a person who has no calculation and loves to gossip, and she has introduced Ke Li's family affairs to MengMeng all at once.
In p>85, when Ke Li had nothing to start a business, he was with his girlfriend. Along the way, he experienced countless unspeakable hardships, pains and failures, but the feelings between them became deeper and deeper.
Ke Li is young and promising, charming, surrounded by admirers, but he always treats his feelings. In 214, when the company was listed on the New Third Board, Ke Li and his girlfriend got married.
hearing this, MengMeng's heart fell into the abyss.
After that day, MengMeng got sick and her circle of friends stopped updating.
4. You can choose to love someone hopelessly, but don't deceive yourself with false hopes.
Research shows that almost everyone will experience unrequited love in early adulthood. Because the relationship between the two sides in unrequited love is neither balanced nor reciprocal, individuals who have been in unrequited love for a long time may feel anxious, dissatisfied, low self-esteem and even depressed because their emotional needs cannot be expressed or satisfied.
Although unrequited love is a kind of love in essence, its development process and characteristics are quite different from mutual and equal love. Compared with individuals who aim to form a romantic relationship, it is those who have unclear communication purposes who are more likely to have a unilateral love affair.
Obviously, this is the case in MengMeng and Ke Li. MengMeng, who suffered a severe illness, was still unable to extricate himself from his thoughts of Ke Li for a long time.
She even fantasized that Ke Li's wife had an accident, or moved on, which led to Ms. Li's single again ...
MengMeng was caught in the anxiety of unrequited love, and she wanted to paralyze herself with all kinds of fantasies. Back to reality, she will be beaten by hopeless reality again.
Perhaps just as our evaluation of ourselves affects unrequited love more than that of others, the real key to this seemingly completely dominated game is actually in our own hands.
That person may be very important to you, but at the end of the day, what bothers you is still just a relationship with you.
whether its core is love or hate, whether it is rewarding or not, and whether it brings you happiness or pain, it can make you grow, gain something and become a more perfect person.
Unrequited love, not as good as goodbye!
I hope MengMeng will get out of the predicament as soon as possible, pack up and start again!
I'm Critical Bing, certified counselor of Asia-Pacific Psychological Counselors Association/recommended author of psychological column of Jane Eyre/Top 5 IT sales/MBA
WeChat WeChat official account Critical Bing, user name of Jane Eyre Critical Bing.