① Funny story in 50 words
Let me tell a joke
1. Ugly Girl: There is a song, if you don’t know where to go tomorrow , what’s the next sentence? Xiao Ming: Would you like to be my wife? Ugly Girl: OK! A word is settled.
2. A: Have you ever been afraid of your wife? B: I was afraid. . . A: Can you tell me what you are most afraid of about your wife? B: I am most afraid that my wife will leak air. . .
3. An aunt shouted to a young man: Are you convinced? The young man said: I don’t accept it. The aunt said again: Are you really dissatisfied? Young man: Not convinced. I'm asking you for the last time whether you accept it or not. Young man: I don’t accept it. Aunt: Okay, don’t help me, right? I can get up on my own without help.
4. The Chinese teacher and the English teacher fell into the water at the same time, which one would you save first? God replied, and then threw the math teacher into it
Here are four jokes, choose which one you want!
② Humorous story (within 50 words)
"The Queen's Bra"
In ancient England, the chief justice admired the queen's beautiful and charming breasts, but he Knowing that the price for molesting the queen is death. He told King Arthur's physician his secret. The imperial doctor promised to help him realize his wish, and as a price, the justice promised to pay the imperial doctor one thousand gold coins.
So, the imperial doctor prepared an itchy water. One day, while the queen was taking a bath, she smeared itchy water on the queen's bra. After the queen put on her clothes, she felt an unbearable itching in her chest. King Arthur hurriedly sent the royal physician to see the queen. The royal doctor said that this was a strange disease. The only way to relieve the itching was to use the saliva of one person. He had to let this person lick the queen's breast for four hours. This person was the chancellor.
King Arthur urgently sent word that the Lord Chancellor came into the palace to treat the queen. The imperial doctor had already put anti-itching medicine in the mouth of the Chancellor. Thus, the Chancellor finally fulfilled his long-held wish and licked the Queen's beautiful breasts for four hours. The justice was satisfied with his addiction, and the queen was cured of her illness.
The justice returned home, and the royal doctor came to ask for his reward. The chief justice had had enough, and knew that the imperial doctor would definitely not dare to report the truth to the king, so he wanted to refuse the bill. The imperial doctor left angrily, vowing to make the chief justice pay the price.
What price did the justice pay?
Original text: //94 *** .cn/xiaohua/1111/
③ 50 words of humorous story
1. Once upon a time there was a man named Ah Shuang.
He died.
The day of the funeral.
His family members cried: ‘
So cool... so cool. ’
Passers-by were puzzled. Asked: "What do you enjoy?" '
The family members cried bitterly: 'It feels so good... it feels so good!!
2. One day, Turtle Dad, Turtle Mother and Turtle The son's family decided to go on an outing. They brought a Shandong pancake and two cans of sea chicken and set off to Yangmingshan. After ten years of hard work, it’s finally here! They sat on the ground, took off their equipment and prepared to eat. As a result, I discovered that I didn’t bring a can opener!
Turtle son: "...Then I'll go back and get it."
Turtle dad: "Good boy! Hurry! Your parents are waiting for you to come back and have dinner together. Go and come back quickly!" ”
Turtle Son: “You must wait for me to come back! Don’t break your promise!”
So Turtle Son set out on his way home...
Time flies like an arrow. Shuttle, 20 years have passed in the blink of an eye, but the turtle son has not yet appeared.
Turtle mother: "Honey... do you want to start eating? I'm so hungry..."
Turtle dad: "No! We promised our son! Well... wait for him for five more Year, if he doesn’t come, leave him alone!”
Five years have passed in a blink of an eye, and there is still no trace of the turtle son. Turtle’s parents don’t care anymore! The two elders decided to start dinner.
He took out the big cake and was about to eat it...
Suddenly, Turtle Son poked his head out from behind the tree...
Turtle Son: "Damn! I knew you would steal it! You tricked me into getting the can opener? I’ve been waiting for it for twenty-five years! I hate it the most!
3. Xiaoxin: Dad, why are there three gold in my name?
Dad: You are short of gold in your life, so you are named Xin, just like some people are short of water in their life. The name is Miao, and some people are called Sen if they lack wood in their lives.
Xiaoxin: Dad, what do you think Sister Guo Jingjing is missing in her life?
< p> 4. A man and woman were sitting on a bench in the park, talking about love. The woman suddenly wanted to fart.
She said to the man: I am singing like a cuckoo, but you don’t hear it.
p>
The man was happy to listen.
So the woman let out a loud fart under the cover of the "cuckoo cuckoo" sound.
Female: Elephant. Not like a cuckoo?
Man: The fart was too loud, I couldn’t hear it clearly!
5. The turtle was injured. Let the snail go buy medicine. After two hours, the snail still hadn't come back. The turtle cursed anxiously: Damn it, if you don't come back, I'll die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: Oh no, I won't go!
One day an elephant came over and said to him, "Sit down." The elephant asked Ant what he wanted to do. He stood up and sat down. My ***, let me see if you can wear it.
7. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants rushed out of the elephant's nest. The elephant shook himself, and the ants fell down. The fallen ant screamed "Strangle it to death"
8. One day in the computer class, a classmate's computer crashed. He stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer has crashed and our row is dead. At this time, many classmates said: "We are also dead." At this time the teacher asked: "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely: "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" ”
9. Before a monkey eats peanuts, he has to stuff them into his penis and then take them out to eat. The administrator explained: Someone once fed him peaches, and the result was peaches. The monkey couldn't pull out the core, so the monkey was frightened. Now he must measure it before eating.
10 Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?"
Dad: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy... ”
11. Tell a story: “Once upon a time, there was a eunuch…………………”
Someone couldn’t help but ask: "Where's down there?"
Continue telling the story: "Down there? It's gone..."
12. There was a person who just learned a foreign language. While walking on the street, I accidentally stepped on a foreigner's foot. The man hurriedly said, "I'm sorry." The foreigner also politely said, "I'm sorry too." When the man heard this, he hurriedly said : "I'm sorry three." The foreigner was dumbfounded and asked: "What are you sorry for?" The man said helplessly: "I'm sorry five."
13. A letter written by Tang Monk to Sun Wukong
Dear Wukong:
I wrote this letter very slowly because I know You can't read quickly!
We had rain twice this week, the first time it rained for 4 days and the second time it rained for 3 days!
How are you doing in Huaguoshan? I have a very bad life in heaven. Since there is no gravity, my stool, urine, tears and nose can't fall. Do you think it's hard?
The beef noodles we have here are delicious. When you come another day, we will go to the restaurant on West Street to eat hot pot together!
Your eldest sister Guanyin is about to give birth, and because I don’t know whether it will be a boy or a girl, I don’t know yet whether you will be an uncle or an aunt!
Have you received the clothes I sent you? When I was going to send it, I was afraid of being overweight, so I cut off the buttons and put them in my pocket!
It’s getting late so I’m writing this here. Come to my place to play when you have time. Remember not to drink too much water, otherwise it will be very uncomfortable when you get here and can’t urinate!
P. S I wanted to send you money, but the envelope was already stuck!
14. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. I poop when I eat, cucumbers and watermelons, how can I get back to normal? Woolen cloth? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.
15. Someone went to Shanghai on a business trip and lost a dollar on the street. The police said, "We will help you find it." A month later, the person went there again and he lost the money. All the streets were dug up for road construction, and he couldn't help but sigh, "Shanghai is real"
16. Classic joke: This ant One day an ant was basking in the sun, Suddenly I saw an elephant walking slowly, and I stood up and straightened my front legs. The rabbit next to me asked me what I was doing. The ant said: "Shh~~~~~~~ Keep your voice down and watch me kick him"
17. The earthworm family was very bored today, so the little earthworm cut himself into pieces. We went to play badminton in two pieces. Mother Earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father Earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!" The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football
18. The tortoise and the hare raced... The hare quickly ran to the front... The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I will carry you... Then... the snail came up. ..After a while, the turtle saw another ant and said to him: Come up too. So the ant came up too. After the ant came up, it saw the snail above and said to him. Do you know what the snail said when saying "Hello"? The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...
19. One day, there was a fire in the house. Mom and Dad They all escaped, except for one son who was still inside.
The mother shouted nervously outside the house: "Son...you are doing it...it's on fire and you still can't come out..." The son replied: "I'm putting on socks... .." The mother said again, "Why are you wearing socks when there's a fire..." Five minutes later, the son hasn't come out yet... The mother nervously shouted again, "Son, what on earth are you doing?" Come out quickly~ It’s all on fire, but you’re still in there..." My son said, "I’m taking off my socks...
23. A man went fishing by the river and first pierced a leaf. No fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed it to a piece of bread. No fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to change it for earthworms. Again, no fish took the bait for a long time. He became angry. ~Take out 100rmb, throw it into the water and curse: "*—# What do you want to eat!" Go buy it yourself! ! !
24. My deskmate had a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, so he kept sucking the snot into his nose. The Chinese teacher who was writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted: "That's enough! Stop it! It's so noisy!" The whole class was silent. The teacher said again: "Who is eating noodles secretly in class and making such a loud noise?"
25. The patient said to the dentist: "You really know how to make money, it only takes 3 seconds." "
The doctor replied: "I can pull it out in slow motion if you want."
26. "Narcissism" means that I must be reincarnated as a woman in my next life, and then marry a man like me; "Despair" means that when I order two dishes at a restaurant, I eat the first one: "Is there anything more unpalatable than this in the world?" !" Eat the second one, "Damn! It really does exist!" "Speechless" means the judge asked: Why did you print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money.
27. The Weaver Girl went down to the earth to take a bath and met the Cowherd, and performed a shocking love story. This incident tells us: there is no chance to take a bath at home, so taking a bath must be I have to go outside to wash...
28. After using the toilet, Xiao Ming returned to the classroom and said to the teacher: "There are a lot of ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant. This word, so I tested Xiao Ming: "How do you say ant?" Xiao Ming looked confused... and said: "Ant... didn't say anything..."
29. One person He kept farting loudly at work, and his colleagues couldn't help but say to him: "Can you keep quiet?" Then they saw him sitting there shaking. His colleagues asked him strangely what he was doing, and he replied: "I Don't make any sound, now it has been set to vibrate!!!"
30. Female mosquito: "My child, what's wrong with you?" The little mosquito cried and said: "Today The little flies bully me, saying that I am bloodthirsty and a vampire." Female mosquito: "Don't pay attention to it, their family is not a good thing, they all grew up eating shit
< /p>
31. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "How can this be from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!"
32. Son: "Mom, I failed the math test today." Mother: "Why, what question." Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3=? I Say =6." Mother: "That's right, what next." Son: "Then the teacher asked me again 3*2=?" Mother: "Aren't these the same thing!" Son: "That's what I said too. ..
33. A prisoner was executed by firing squad. The bullets were produced by "XX County" and were of poor quality. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired... The third shot... At this time the prisoner cried: "Just strangle me to death, it's too scary!" "
34. The father told his son a story: "The uncle asked Xiaoyang to chop firewood. Unexpectedly, Xiaoyang cut down the peach tree that the uncle loved most. The uncle saw I was very angry but didn't scold him. Do you know why?" The son replied: "Maybe it's because Xiaoyang still has an ax in his hand, so he didn't dare to scold him.
35. Dung Beetle and Mosquito fell in love. When they met for the first time, Dung Beetle said: "What do you do?" Mosquito: "Nurse, give injections." Dung Beetle held Mosquito's hand and cried bitterly. Runni: "It's fate, I am also a doctor, a Chinese medicine practitioner, and a pill maker.
36. A man can't find a girlfriend, so he has no choice but to go to fortune telling. The fortune teller said: You are destined to have no women in the first half of your life; but the man's eyes lit up: Then I should have one in the second half of my life? The fortune teller said: Well, in the second half of your life you will get used to living alone.
< p>37. When someone was eating, he couldn’t see a piece of beef in the beef ramen, so he pointed at the bowl and asked the boss: Why is there no beef in the beef ramen? The boss said lightly: Don’t take it too seriously. Do you still expect it? Can you get a wife out of wife cake?
38. Three mice tasted American, Japanese, and Chinese wine respectively. The mouse who drank American wine walked 3 steps. It fell; the mouse who drank Japanese sake fell down after walking two steps; the mouse who drank Chinese Erguotou, holding a kitchen knife in his hand, shouted: "TMD where is the cat?"
39 . When eating in a restaurant, a customer who had been waiting for a long time called the waiter and asked, "Why is the braised fish I ordered not ready yet?" "Please wait a moment, sir." "What? You still have to wait." ?" The customer got angry and said, "Are your fishes freshly caught?"
40. One day, the cow posed a difficult problem to the donkey and asked "Stupid" The two worms under the word are male and which are female. The donkey racked his brains and still couldn't answer. The cow scolded: What a stupid donkey.
41. A man was about to jump off a building. His wife, who had just come back, shouted: "My dear, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" After hearing this, the man jumped down without hesitation and stood aside. The negotiator said: "Madam, you really shouldn't threaten him like this.
42. The director and the section chief *** were riding in the elevator. The director farted and said to the section chief: "You farted." The section chief said: "I didn't fart." "Soon the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: "You can't take on any big things, so what use are you?"
43. A lazy cat goes crazy After pursuing a mouse, the cat finally got married. After the marriage, the cat protected the mouse in every possible way. The mouse quickly became fat. The mouse was very moved: "My dear, why are you so nice to me?" The cat chuckled and said, "I will do it when you get fatter." Got it.
44. Every time I look in the mirror, I always mentally encourage myself: "I am very creative and ugly is not mine. My original intention is that if God doesn’t lose his temper, I will live bravely and use my endless creativity to bring out the beauty of this world! In fact, I am really creative...
45. Friends went hiking together. When they reached the top of the mountain, a girl faced the beautiful mountains and rivers and shouted: Motherland! My mother! A boy who had a crush on her quickly followed and shouted: Motherland! My mother-in-law!
46. I bought two puppies before. The one named "Lian" was given to you, and the one named "***" was given to me! But "Lian" unfortunately died within two days. After the car accident, whenever I see "***", I think of your "face"! If your "face" was still there, it would be as big as "***" now!
47. After Tang Zeng drove away Wukong, he encountered a monster again. He had to recite a tight spell to call Wukong back to save his life. Soon a voice came from the air: "I'm sorry. The user you called is not in the service area. Please try again later." .
48. When the mouse went to go to the convenience store and saw the bear, he was too frightened to say anything. The bear glanced at the mouse and said, "Can you shed your hair?" "The mouse trembled and said nothing.
The bear asked again: "Are you losing your hair?" The mouse said tremblingly: "No..." The bear grabbed the mouse and wiped it and left! [Treat mice as toilet paper...
49. I was chatting with my friends just now, and they talked about you, do you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! I don’t treat you like a pig at all!
50. Panda’s birthday, let me tell you: I made two wishes. One is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to have a color photo.
51. The bee chases the butterfly, but the butterfly marries the snail. Bee was puzzled: How is he better than me? Butterfly replied: After all, I have my own house, it's not like you living in a dormitory.
52. A girl is so ugly that she cannot marry and hopes to be trafficked. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: "Let's go, we don't want the car anymore."
53. Twenty years ago, when your father was holding you while waiting for the bus, everyone laughed at your child because he was ugly, and your father cried. An old man selling bananas patted my father and said, "Brother, don't cry. Give the monkey a banana to eat! It's so pitiful. He's so hungry that he has no hair left."
54. On the plane, a parrot said to the stewardess: "Bring me a glass of water." The pig also imitated the parrot and said to the stewardess: "Bring me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw away both the parrot and the pig. airplane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig: "You are stupid, I can fly."
55. A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. Go, you said angrily: What do you dare to do to that roast chicken, I will do to you. As a result, the puppy licked the chicken ***, you fainted, and the puppy said happily: Let's see who is cruel!
56. You were walking on the road, and a female dog pounced on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot, and quickly swallowed it. When you stretched your foot to kick it, The dog said with tears in his eyes: You can fight me, because I already have your flesh and blood in my belly!
A farmer goes to a pornographic hair salon to have his hair washed. When he entered the door, he saw a man with a big head washing his hair. .A young lady came over and asked him whether he wanted to wash his big or small hair. The farmer looked at the man with the big head and then looked at himself in the mirror. He felt that his head was much smaller than that man's and said: I'll wash my small hair. 'The lady said; the big head is 5 yuan and the small head is 80. Go up. The farmer ate a pound: "Damn it. Why is the small head so much more expensive than the big head."
57 , a woman on the train because that suddenly came. So he quickly changed his toilet, opened the window and threw it down. It hit a farmer working in the field right in the face. The farmer shouted. ;The fucking train is fast. A piece of paper flying down can make my face bleed...
58. A couple was hanging out by the river on Valentine's Day. .The weather was a bit cold. The woman felt it was very cold and said to the man: My dear, it’s very cold tonight. . Then looked at the boy. The man hesitated and said, "Yes." .Fortunately I wore two pieces of clothing. '
59. A manager goes to work in the company. .. The secretary discovered that the manager’s pants were not zipped properly. So I said to the manager: Manager, your garage door is not closed properly. The manager looked at it and quickly pulled it over and asked the secretary, "Have you seen the car?" ? The secretary thought for a moment and replied: The car didn't see two tires. '
60. A farmer's daughter was too ugly to get married, so the farmer had to let her go to the cornfield as a scarecrow to scare crows. When she got there, she not only scared away the crows, she even scared three crows into sending back the corn they had stolen before.
61. Two brothers quarreled. .. The older one lost the argument... So the older one said angrily, "If I had known you were born like this, I would have asked dad to hold back for two seconds and shoot you on the wall."
62. There are twins in Chen’s mother’s belly. The twin brothers talk every night.
Brother; eh.
Why is Dad so unhygienic that he spits a lot of saliva at us every time he comes?
Brother: Yes. It’s the uncle who delivers milk next door. Every time he spits, he puts it back in a bag. < /p>
After finishing, the big man left in a hurry. ...
The village girl put on her clothes calmly and said; I thought I was going to grab eggs. It turns out that's all.
④ 50 words of humorous stories about celebrities
1. A fledgling writer asked Chaplin to read a movie script he had written. After Chaplin read his script carefully, he shook his head and said: "You can only write something like this when you are as famous as me, and you must write well at this time."
2. One day, Mark Twain received a letter from a young man who was just learning to write. The letter said: "I heard that fish bones contain a lot of phosphorus, and phosphorus is good for the brain. So if you want to be a writer, you have to eat a lot of fish, right? Have you eaten a lot of fish? What kind of fish did you eat?"
Mark Twain told him in his reply: "It seems that you have to eat a pair of whales."
< p>3. One day, a young man came to an editorial department and showed the editor a piece of work he had plagiarized. After reading it, the editor asked him: "Did you write this novel yourself?"
"I wrote it myself. I conceived it for a month and sat down for a whole month. It took me two days to write it! It’s so hard to write!”
“Ah, great Mr. Chekhov, when did you come back to life?”
After listening to the editor's words, the young man left the editing room with a face full of shame.
⑤ 50 words of witty and humorous stories about famous people
One day, Mark Twain went out for a ride. When the conductor checked the ticket, he rummaged through every pocket and could not find his ticket. It happened that the conductor knew him, so he comforted Mark Twain and said, "It doesn't matter. If you really can't find the ticket, it doesn't matter." Cough! Why don't you get in the way? I have to find that damn ticket. Otherwise, how will I know where I'm going? "
Mark Twain once took a train to give a lecture at a university. He was very anxious because of time constraints, but the train was moving very slowly. At this time, a man came over A ticket inspector asked him: "Sir, do you have a ticket?" "
Mark Twain handed him a child ticket.
The ticket inspector looked at him carefully and said, "How interesting, I can't tell you are still a child!" ”
Mark Twain replied: “I am no longer a child, but I was still a child when I bought the ticket.” ”
Mark Twain liked to read or write in bed.
One morning, a news reporter came to interview him.
Mark Twain asked his wife to invite the man into his bedroom.
The wife objected: "Shouldn't you get up? What does it sound like if you lie down on the bed and let others stand? "
Mark Twain thought for a while, and then said: "I didn't think of that, so you'd better ask the servant to make another bed! ”
Mark Twain once stayed at a hotel in a certain place. Someone told him in advance that the mosquitoes here were particularly bad.
When he checked in at the reception desk, , a mosquito just happened to fly over.
Mark Twain said to the waiter: "I have heard that mosquitoes in your area are very smart. As expected, they will come to see the room number I registered in advance. Come by in the evening and have a hearty meal. ”
The waiter couldn’t help laughing after hearing this.
As a result, Mark Twain slept well that night, because the waiter also remembered the room number and entered the room in advance to kill mosquitoes. Mosquito prevention work.
By chance, Mark Twain and the orator Jonesy M. Debiao were invited to the same dinner party.
The speech at the table began. Mark Twain talked non-stop. He spoke with rich emotions for 20 minutes and won a warm round of applause.
Then it was De Biao’s turn to give a speech.
De Biao stood up and said with embarrassment: "Everyone, I'm really sorry, Mr. Mark Twain asked me to exchange speech notes before the meeting, so what you just heard
This is my speech, and I sincerely thank you for your careful listening and enthusiastic support. However, for some reason, I cannot find Mr. Mark Twain’s speech, so I cannot speak for him.”
In 1900, Mark Twain wrote a satirical New Year's message. In a few words, the ugly face of the aggression and expansion of the capitalist powers in various parts of the world, including in China, which has just entered the imperialist stage, was vividly exposed.
The full text is as follows: "The 19th century's congratulatory message to the 20th century: I bring you this noble woman called Christendom. She is slovenly, dirty, and dirty. She has just returned from Jiaozhou, Manzhouli, and... She came back from plundering the Philippines. She has a bad heart, hides stolen goods, and is full of hypocrisy. Give her soap and towels, but put away the mirror."
French celebrity Poquet made fun of American history. Short, said: "When Americans are fine, they often like to miss their ancestors, but when they think of their grandparents' generation, they have to stop."
Mark Twain retorted: "When the French are fine, they miss their ancestors." Always trying to figure out who their father was, but it was hard to figure out."
Mark Twain often told people about a sad past when he was a child.
It is said that Mark Twain was born as a twin. He and his twin brother looked exactly the same, and even their mother could not tell them apart.
One day, when the nanny was bathing them, one of them accidentally fell into the bathtub and drowned. No one knew which twin was drowned.
"This is the saddest thing." Mark Twain said, "Everyone thinks I am the one who survives, but I am not. The one who survives is my brother
Brother, I was the one who drowned."
When Mark Twain was still a little-known writer, someone introduced him to General Grant.
After the two shook hands, Mark Twain could not think of a word to say, and Grant maintained his usual reticence.
Finally, Mark Twain stammered: "General, I feel embarrassed, how about you?"
There was once a man who liked to be picky about details. Critics accused Mark Twain of lying.
Mark Twain replied: "If you don't know how to lie, if you don't have the ability to lie, and have no knowledge of what lies are, how do you judge me? Is it lying? Only those who are experienced in this field have the right to make such blatant and arbitrary accusations.”
After reading many of Mark Twain’s short stories, a friend of Mark Twain said: Then I started writing short stories.
He wrote and wrote, but never got it published.
Finally, a miracle happened and he had a novel published.
The delighted friend hurriedly told Mark Twain about this, and he proudly said: "The novel is not very difficult to write."
Mark Twain looked around. Looking around, he leaned into the friend's ear and said, "Maybe you have reached the top!"
Once, someone asked Mark Twain if he remembered how he first made money.
He thought for a long time and then said: "Yes, I still remember it very clearly. That was when I was in primary school. At that time, the primary school students did not respect their teachers and did not cherish the school's We often break tables and chairs because of our property, so our school has made a rule that if any student breaks a table or chair with a pencil or knife, he will be beaten in front of the whole school. Or fined five yuan.
One day, I broke my desk and had to tell my father that I had violated school rules and would either be fined five yuan or be beaten in front of the whole school. My father said it was so embarrassing to be beaten in front of the whole school, so he promised to give me five yuan to give to the school. But before giving me the five dollars, he took me upstairs and beat me hard.
I thought, since I had already received a beating, I decided to get another one in front of the whole school in order to save the five dollars. I actually did that,
and that was the money I made for the first time. ”
Mark Twain received a letter from a young man who was just learning to write.
The writer was very interested in this issue: I heard that fish bones contain a lot of phosphorus. Phosphorus nourishes the brain, so if you want to become a world-famous writer, you must eat a lot of fish. I don’t know if this statement is realistic.
He asked Mark Twain: “Did you eat a lot of fish, and what kind of fish did you eat? ”
Mark Twain wrote back: “It seems that you have to eat a whale to do it.” "
Once, Mark Twain was invited to a banquet.
During the dinner, he said to a noble lady: "Madam, you are so beautiful! "
Unexpectedly, the woman said: "Sir, I am very sorry that I cannot answer you in the same way. ”
Mark Twain, who had a sharp mind and sharp words, smiled and replied: “That’s okay, you can tell lies like me.” ”
⑥ Interesting 50-word story
1 Chen Jingrun was thinking about math problems while walking, but he accidentally hit a telephone pole.
2 According to legend, in ancient times, ten suns appeared simultaneously in the sky, causing the crops to wither and the people to live in dire straits. A hero named Hou Yi, who was extremely powerful, sympathized with the suffering people, climbed to the top of the Kunlun Mountains, and exerted his supernatural power to pull the people away. He opened his divine bow and shot down more than nine suns at once, and strictly ordered the last sun to rise and set on time to benefit the people.