When I heard the news that the country has allowed three children, I smiled bitterly. This is a policy for the rich. As a woman born in the 1980s, all my energy is focused on three children, and there is nothing extra. I have all the time left for me, and I feel a little sad just writing this sentence. Next, I will tell my story slowly, and everyone will decide whether to have three children.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I named her Dandan. My mother-in-law said no, so I gave birth to a baby named Dandan, which is a homophone for "Single". I said she would call her Shuangshuang. I was watching a movie at the time. In the TV series, there is a little girl named Shuangshuang, which I think is pretty good. The child's grandfather disagreed and said that the first girl was called Shuangshuang, so what if there was another girl? When the child was born, it was a daughter. Since it was the first child, the whole family treated it like a baby. As they say, a child should be raised according to the book. All the thoughts were on the child, for fear of failing to do something right. At that time, I My grandfather was still alive. When the wheat harvest season came, my mother-in-law and I went to the fields to pull wheat. The child fell asleep and let my grandfather watch. After we left, the child woke up and started crying when he couldn't see us. When we got home. Grandpa started to curse, saying that if we don’t harvest wheat this year, people will starve to death. He doesn’t want the rest. If not, he will ask someone to take him away. He will look at the child intently to see how the child cries. But Imagine doting on your children.
When the second child was older, the second child was on the agenda. When I was pregnant with the second child, I cooked and washed clothes at home and took care of the second child. When the second child was about to be born, I even rode a bicycle to deliver the baby. The eldest son was in school, and when I saw a pregnant woman being supported by her husband, did I think it was so pretentious? Even though I was thinking this way, I was still very sad until I gave birth to my second child and saw that it was another daughter. The whole family wanted a boy. In order to have a boy, I began to avoid family planning, so I rented a house not far from home. It was a difficult moment that I will never forget. Twenty days after the baby was born, my husband went out to work, leaving me and the baby alone. The second child has been weak since he was born. He has been going to the hospital since he was three months old. Whenever he looks like he is not having fun, he will have a fever when touched. I am about 1.5 meters tall and wrap my baby in a small cotton quilt. I paid for a taxi and walked the four-mile journey. I ran before and after the hospital with my child in my arms. My face was covered with sweat from running in the winter. I was often the one who received the most care from doctors and nurses. I was given infusions. When the baby fell asleep, I didn't dare to put him on the bed. I was afraid that I would drop the needle when he woke up, trouble the nurse and hurt the baby, so I held him in my arms and didn't dare to put him down. Once the infusion was given, the baby would pee easily. At that time, he always used diapers. It penetrated as soon as I peeed, and my two trouser legs were so wet that it was uncomfortable to walk. Now that I think about it, I admire myself. The most difficult thing is the lack of money. All the money my husband earns is sent to the hospital. When the child is over one year old, his resistance is much better and he no longer goes to the hospital. Due to financial difficulties, I take the child home to my mother-in-law and take care of it myself. Went out to work.
A few years later,
The family started urging me to have another child. The first two were girls, and the third one must be a son. I didn’t have any idea at that time. , I also forgot the pain of giving birth to my eldest child for a day and a night, and the hardships of raising my second child. I just did what my family said. After I came back, I became pregnant with the third child. I went for a check-up at eight months, and the doctor said it was better. It’s a daughter. No one said anything now. My husband wanted to give her away after she was born. If she couldn’t raise her, she could raise two. My mother-in-law disagreed and said no. She had to raise her after she was born. Even if she died from exhaustion, she would have to raise her. . After the child was born, looking at the chubby little guy, it seemed that it had been agreed upon and no one said anything about giving the child away.
In the two years since the third child was born, the eldest son was about to enter junior high school. He needed to live in school in his hometown, and the family was worried about the child living in school. So he gritted his teeth and borrowed hundreds of thousands plus his savings. I bought an apartment in Pingliang City for the convenience of my children's schooling. Secondly, I also wanted to give my children a better living environment, so I became a migrant worker in the city. You can imagine the difficulties involved.
Bringing the children together, the second child needs to be taken to school, and the third child needs to be taken to kindergarten. The husband cannot support the whole family by himself, so he brings his parents-in-law to live with him. The father-in-law is responsible for picking up and dropping off the children, and the mother-in-law cooks. I clean, my husband and I go to work, and our family lives in a house of more than 80 square meters. After our hard work, the days passed like this.
Because the house is too small, it is too crowded for seven people to live in. I also took out a loan to buy a three-bedroom house. I have to bear the mortgage loan. The children are also old and it is time to spend money. It is stressful. Needless to say, the frequent quarrels over children's education are ultimately caused by lack of money. For example, the second child is interested in painting, but my husband disagrees, and I resolutely give in. Naturally, I have to pay for it. I have no choice but to work hard and save money.
Growing up in a rural area, I am not afraid of hardship. However, the era of hard work and getting rich has passed, and my thinking and cognition cannot keep up, so it is very difficult to make money. What I am most afraid of is that my thinking and cognition cannot keep up with today. The development of children will affect their future values ????and outlook on life. I feel that from the time I gave birth to my first child, the whole meaning of my life was to raise my three children to grow up. I think if I had only given birth to one child, I would not have struggled so hard, been in constant anxiety, and would not have become a manly woman in the eyes of others.
I am also my mother’s daughter, someone else’s wife, and a woman, but of all the roles, it seems that the only one left is the role of mother!