Zhuge Liang: Look at you dying!
Wang Lang: Zhuge Cunfu, do you know me Wang Lang?
Zhuge Liang: Bah, you twisted my dad's hat and my uncle's funeral!
Wang Lang vomited blood and died.
Liu Bei said to Zhang Guan: There is a strange man in Longzhong, Nanyang. He can write a pen to secure the world, and he can ride a horse to practice martial arts. You know women when you get on the kang, and shoes when you get off the kang. Compound surname Zhuge, the word name is bright and the word is clear. No. Wolong is also called relationship. You and I will ask ...
Wang Yun gave a banquet in honor of Dong Zhuo, and presented the story of Diusim's envoy alienating him. Diusim served Dong Zhuo and looked at zhou bo: You can tell me what you ordered. I'm here to serve the Prime Minister. "Dong Zhuohao didn't eat roast chicken for several days and asked," Do you have that, that, chicken? The story of diusim: "shh! I am! …"
Zhuge Liang: Sima Yi personally led the army to invade. Which general is willing to send troops to repel the enemy?
Ma Su: A man has been familiar with the art of war since childhood. He fought against his ancestors. Now he is willing to lead the garrison in Jieting fortress and discipline him for nothing!
Zhuge Liang: Well, your shameless appearance has my youthful charm!
When you entrust an orphan:
Liu Bei: If Liu Chan loses, you can stand on your own feet as the master of Jingzhou ~
Kong Ming: Heh ~ ~ At her age, at my age, some words can only be said but not heard. My tongue is crushed to death, and I can't wash it off if I jump into the Yellow River. I have to take care of everything-this!
Liu Bei and his party crossed the river ~
Walking, hey, there is a question mark in front, and Liu Bei jumped up "Teng wait for a while wait for a while". Hey, a mushroom came out to eat, and Liu Bei grew taller. Going forward, there is another question mark. When he touches it, a flower comes out. After eating the flowers, Liu Bei raised his hand, and "DuDu DuDu" could shoot bullets! With wings, the tortoise came. ...
Zhuge Liang pacified Nan Man, and Meng Huo gave a banquet to see him off.
Brother Zhu Rong, watch the dance?
Zhuge Liang-what dance?
-Folk dance
-Hi, Chengdu has ~
-Have you ever seen anyone naked?
-No clothes? I know your nationality without clothes on, okay?
On the deathbed of Zhou Yu: Born at the time, He Shengliang ~ ~ ~
Tathagata: I am a poor monk. ...
Zhuge Liang shivered for 20 minutes for the military order, and finally put down his pen: "Forget it, stop writing ... I can't read."
Liu Bei asked Zhuge Liang: How sure is the Prime Minister going north this time?
Zhuge Liang looked up at Liu and said, Who knows? Ask the village chief. . . .
The story of Lu Bu and Di Xin.
Lu Bu: My daughter-in-law has personality. Whenever she quarrels with me, she goes to sleep in Guan Yu's room.
Cao Cao: Is this called character? What the hell is this?
Lu Bu: Actually, we are not serious lovers. She was my stepmother.
Zhang Liao said; "The prime minister mounted and dismounted, and the feather was named Han Shou Ting Hou. Even so, feathers will not fall on the prime minister's head. If you don't kill him, why let him find Liu Bei? "
Cao Cao said, "Because you are loyal."
Zhang Liao: ". . . . "
Zhuge Liang attacked barbarians and took Lu Kai as the guide. In the process of progress ...
Lu Kai: Prime Minister, do you know the way there?
Zhuge: No. What about you?
Lu Kai: I don't know.
Lu Su wanted Jingzhou. While the two sides were arguing, Mrs Zhuge Liang came out.
Huang Yueying: When you marry me, I will return Jingzhou to you.
Lu Su (frowning, holding a cigarette butt): Jingzhou is ok, let's go.
Lu Xun chased Liu Bei into Zhuge Liang's gossip and got lost. . . . . .
Soldier: General Lu, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to listen to first?
Lu Xun: Listen to the bad first.
Soldier: We are lost. I can only live by eating horse manure.
Lu Xun: How about that?
Soldier: There's a lot of horse manure!
Lu Bu's surprise attack on Xuzhou Liu Bei's family was stuffed in it.
Lu Bu: "Are you Liu Bei? Your wife is in our hands! "
Liu Bei cried and said, "Don't hit her, and don't scold her for how much it costs, but if it exceeds 100 yuan, you can kill the ticket ~"
2 1992 Click | 45 to reply to the 80, 90 dating alliance.
The first pair: Sima Yi VS Zhuge Liang
During the war, Zhuge Liang was in front of him, and he was so happy that he didn't want to go to Shu. After watching the stars, Zhuge Liang looked up at the sky and said with a long smile, "When I look at the stars at night, I know that the next one will be a heart. It seems that heaven won't fail me, and I can be empty ~ ~ "
Sima Yi: "Brother Liang, wait a minute. Do you see this black double-edged sword in my hand? "
Zhuge Liang: "You. . . . . What are you doing? ! ! "
Sima Yi: "Nothing else, it depends on your order."
Zhuge Liang: ". . . . . . "
The second pair: Guan Yu VS Sima Yi
In the war, Guan Yu took Zhuge Liang's crossbow from left to right with his red cards, and galloped bravely. When he was killed in front of Sima, Guan Yu's crossbow immediately said, "Surrender quickly and spare you from death!"
Sima Yi: "But killing it doesn't hurt."
Guan Yu: "Alas, you are crazy!" " Kill! ! "
Sima Yi: "There is no flash, so withholding blood is harmless."
Guan Yu: "How dare such a rotten person shout? Go to hell! . . . . . . Wait a minute, you, what are you doing? "
Sima Yi: "Without him, the sea of blood has been detained, so I will take you to play with Zhuge Lian."
Guan Yu: "You are so cruel. . . "
The third pair: Zhang Liao VS Lumen.
Lv Meng: "Ha ha, I am, I am Ye ~ ~ Attention, everyone. Oh, I'm Ye. No one can kill me. If you kill me, you can't. In addition, if you make me angry, don't blame me for not using peaches for you, and don't blame me for not using them impeccably! "
Hero: "I can't help it, just bear it. Luxury brand list "
Zhang Liao just stood up. . .
As a result, due to an inevitable shoplifting attack without distance restriction in each round, Lu Meng lost all his money, and the whole battle did not exceed three cards, and even COSPLAY Zhuge Liang's "Empty City Plan" several times. . .
The fourth pair: Liu Bei VS Zhuge Liang
Zhuge Liang: "Oh, Nian ~ ~ The old man is finally empty ~ ~"
Hero: ". . . This is not easy to do. "
But the upright Liu Bei stood up. . .
Liu Bei: "Old people are arrogant. I'll send you two cards as a gift for the empty city. "
Zhuge Liang: ". . . Master! ! ! I am a loyal minister! ! "
Liu Bei: "Let's go together! I'll give him two pieces to kill him, and everyone will chop down this big thief together! ! "
Poof. . . Um ... . Ah! ! !
Zhuge Liang jumped at once.
The fifth pair: the story of Dexin VS Xia Houdun.
On the battlefield, Xia Houdun was invincible with blood and killed countless heroes. Everyone condemned Xia Houdun for being resolute but helpless. Only one person calmly put down a hand card and pointed to Lu Bu and said, "Go, my hero, fight with him."
After the war, Xia Houdun withheld blood, and Xia Houdun grinned, waiting for the story of Diusim's trial. When she was ready to praise the price for her overreaching, she found that it was Lu Bu who made the judgment, and the story of Diusim stood there unscathed. . .
In this way, two contemporary heroes were played by a little girl. . . Who says women are inferior to men? . . . . .
The sixth pair: Hua Tuo VS Xia Houdun
On the battlefield, Xiahou is still so brave and rogue, and everyone is still angry but helpless for Xiahou's fortitude. At the critical moment, Hua Tuo, upright (don't shoot me, haha), went straight to Xia Houdun and said, "I used to be a doctor, but now I'm a devil. . . "
Xia Houdun didn't dodge, stopped bleeding, but still laughed: "Doctor, you want to judge the devil! No one has broken up with me yet! "
Hua Tuo's judgment failed, but Hua Tuo calmly gave up his talons in the imperial palace, and everything fell silent, only Xia Houdun's wound slowly shed blood. . . . . .
The seventh pair: Chu Xu VS Zhen Ji
Chu Xu's personality broke out, and countless people were born out of nothing. Numerous Zhuge Lianglian crossbows, countless killings, and countless people were exhausted, and finally died naked. Now it's Zhen Ji's turn. . .
Chu Xu: "Kill!"
Zhenji calmly throws an impeccable one.
Chu Xu was furious: "Wow, don't you think I can't play?" ! ! "
Zhen Ji said quietly, "That card is black."
. . . . . .
Chu Xu: "Kill! ! "
Zhen Ji calmly throws a kill.
Chu Xu is still very angry; "Wow, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! ! "
Zhen Ji still calmly said: "Black."
Chu Xu slowly handed the crossbow to Zhen Ji and said, "I didn't flash. Kill me. "
The eighth pair: Gan Ning VS Da Qiao
Countless people were dissatisfied with Da Qiao, and countless dissatisfied people were burned to death by Gan Ning. . . . . .
That's what happened.
The ninth pair: Zhou Yu VS Hua tuo
Zhou Yu doesn't have good cards, so I just want to give you these bad cards. So, everyone guesses cards to decide life and death. After several rounds, Zhou Yu still played a bad card, and the card guessing person became Hua Tuo. Hua tuo took a card and said it was white. Zhou Yu ended the round and thought it was crazy.
Then it was Hua tuo's turn. Before touching the cards, Hua Tuo angrily threw Zhou Yu's-1 horse into the pile of discarded cards, turned himself into a bloody one, and said, "Your cards are really bad. What are you going to use-1horse? " Throw away the blood!
(3) Zhen Ji: "I want to learn from Zhuge Liang about stargazing. It would be much better if I knew how to look at the stars. " Chu Xu: "Yes, according to this, I also learned Ma Chao and Lu Bu. The naked clothes in the province always leave when they are finished." Zhang Fei: "What are you? I learned my second brother's unique skills. Who is not afraid of me? Hey, Huang Gai, why are you running so fast? " Huang Gai: "You go to America, and when I find Hua Tuo, I will kill you all!" " "