Ling Linghu: The duty of our Ouchi secret agents is to fall in love, not to pick up princesses, not to protect the emperor and investigate traitors. How can we harbor assassins here!
Ling Ling Dog: When you say that, I’m really a little scared.
Queen: Hahaha, then let’s usurp the throne together, hahaha! ! !
Mei Xixiang: Dad, Mom, let me introduce to you. This is the prince of the Big Food Kingdom, Huadu Puduoniao.
Ling Ling Dog: What a waste of money, wow! !
The Emperor to the Imperial Concubine: My beloved, you see, these secret agents of mine are protecting my safety all the time, so don’t worry~
The Imperial Concubine: あない
The Emperor: Wow, my beloved concubine, what did you say?
Concubine: Dongying’s words.
The Emperor: Wow, concubine, can you speak Dongying dialect?
Concubine: Of course (Taking off the mask) Dog Emperor, no one is protecting you now, just die!
Ling Ling Dog: Not necessarily!
The Emperor: Wow, Ling Ling Dog, come and protect my safety!
Ling Ling Dog: Don’t worry, wait until I climb down. (Climbing down while talking.) Now, I am going to arrest you as that Ouchi spy. You don't have to speak, but if you do, it will be used as evidence in court.
Narration: Concubine Li, the magic mirror that Dongying paid tribute to has arrived.
Li Fei: Great. (walks to the magic mirror) Mirror, Mirror, tell me, who is the most beautiful person in the world?
Magic Mirror: There is no doubt that it was you.
Li Fei: Oh, hahahahaha! Real or fake?
Magic Mirror: Of course it’s fake.
Li Fei and Cui Niu went to worship the Buddha together
Li Fei: Buddha, bless us to succeed in usurping the throne. (Throws out the lottery) What! ! Sign up! !
Cui Niu: Sister, don’t worry. (Goes to the abbot) Remove all the bad lots!
Li Fei: Buddha bless you... (I can’t get rid of the lottery) Damn it! I came to worship you to give you face. If I don’t give you face, I will tear down your temple! ! ! (Speaking, he threw all the lottery tubes towards Buddha. As a result...Buddha fell towards Concubine Li and Cui Niu...) 1. Empress Li Fei (played by Li Jianren) dressed up and came to the palace. The emperor She went up to him with a bitter look on her face: "Beauty, should you shave your face too? You... you hurt me so much."
2. The ninja assassin ran away, Linglinghu He chased him from behind and yelled: "You think you are Bolt of Jamaica.", and then kicked him to the ground with a beautiful hurdle move.
3. Ling Ling Gou climbed down the stairs carefully and said sternly: I will arrest you now as... Ouchi's secret agent. You don't need to speak, but every word you say The words... will be used as evidence in court in the future!
4. Ling Ling Dog opened his longevity umbrella and fell from the sky. On it was printed "Ouchi Secret Agent Loves to Drink Daughter's Red". The emperor said angrily: "What I hate most is to randomly add advertisements in the play, pull him out and kill him." Here you go!"
5. Mei hopes to rescue Yuan Ruonan, who is disguised as a man, back home, and wants to treat "him"'s injuries. She goes through an inner struggle: "I have to use my inner strength to force poison out of him. That's fine, but men and women are not intimate. I helped him take off his clothes, which seemed a bit...forget it, let's give him the real energy mouth to mouth...There is something wrong with my brain, I am a yellow flower girl, such a couple Mouth, don’t I have to marry him? But he’s so handsome, it’s not a bad idea to marry him... Okay, give it a try!
6. Everyone is trying to name the new invention of Ling Ling Dog. Undecided whether to call it a "hero bucket", a "beauty bucket" or a "dog bucket", Yuan Ruonan made a surprising statement: "The name of the animal should be more elegant, let's call it a toilet!" ”
7. - A person who does such a disgusting thing does not feel disgusting at all. This is love.
8. - Mei hopes to stimulate her soul by pretending to be in love. The spirit dog lay in Yuan Ruonan's arms and said: "He is the prince of the Dashi Kingdom, called Huadu Bade Bird! "
--Ling Ling Gou: "Are you spending too much money? "
9. - Linglinghu: "The duty of our Ouchi secret agents is to fall in love... no, to pick up the princess... no, to protect the emperor and investigate the traitor.
”
10. Mei Xixi and Lingling Gou were practicing the “romantic method” taught by Marco Polo, and Empress Nishigong came to assassinate her. So the two kissed passionately while trembling with Empress Nishigong, and staged a scene The wonderful kung fu tango, the kiss was so intense that the world turned upside down. It was comparable to Stephen Chow and Maggie Cheung's classic "Eiffel Tower twist" in "92", which made the Queen of the West Palace put down her weapons and exclaimed: "This posture is my best." Haven't tried it yet. ”
11. - Nishigong Empress: “A piece of medium-rare mutton and a piece of medium-rare mutton are fried together in a pot. Why don’t they chat? "
--Ling Ling Dog: "Because they are unfamiliar. "
--Nishinomiya Empress: "If a shark eats fifty pounds of mung beans, what will he become? "
--Ling Ling Dog: "Mung bean paste. "
--Empress Xigong: "The leader of the cannibal tribe suddenly wants to eat vegetarian food. What should I feed him? "
--Ling Ling Dog: "Vegetative state. ”
…The Empress of the West Palace and the Ling Ling Dog fought fiercely and fiercely, until the Empress of the West Palace vomited blood and fell to the ground