When I killed my whole family, I knew how many percentage points the GDP of Muye Village would drop. Everyone calls me a genius.
I'm Uchiha Itachi.
When I was young, two lines began to appear on my face. This determines that I will face an old face all my life. One day when I was ten years old, I went to tell the girl I admired. She looked at me for a long time and said, I'm not interested in older people. In desperation, I asked the girl's six-year-old brother, little friend, your sister.
The child gave me a contemptuous look: Uncle, you want to catch up with my sister.
I think that's when my poker face started.
My brother Sasuke Uchiha is a strange genius. One day, I went shopping with him. I was walking in the street when he suddenly pointed to the sky: Brother, what a big dark cloud.
I looked at the sky and found nothing. So I said, Sasuke, you lied to your brother. Sasuke stuffed all the dishes into my hand and said, look, it's going to rain soon. I'm going back first. Goodbye. Say that finish and fly away, the whole action without hesitation.
I stood there wondering if he had a fever. The end result was that I got caught in the rain and ran home in a mess. From then on, I believe Sasuke has no eyes for sharingan. His eyes are on the past and the future.
When I was 1 1 years old, I was recruited into the dark side. In my opinion, the dark part is a funny existence-its outstanding performance is a mask. You can cover your face if you want, but you have to wear a mask, and there are too many patterns. Once I was on a mission, someone pointed at me and shouted: Give him the lion mask, that's him, the weasel in Neichi!
Masks bring great inconvenience to users of pupil surgery. Before using sharingan, we must open the mask. People who don't know always think that we scare off the enemy with our looks.
Kakashi is kind of my predecessor. Every time I see this man, I always wonder if his face is covered with prickly heat. Once this man sneezed, and all the dark people turned to look at him, but he had covered his face. It's really a bluff.
Life in the Dark Department is very boring, and he always evades tasks under the pretext of "going to Sasuke's opening ceremony".
Sasuke suddenly lost his temper one day and looked at me sideways and said, dead, dead, all dead. I couldn't help worrying, so I secretly bought insurance for my whole family.
In fact, many things can't be made clear with your mouth.
For example, even if I sit on the riverbank of South Hechuan safely and eat watermelon, someone will step on the watermelon skin I left behind and splash it into the water, and there will be a few bubbles on the water, so nothing will happen again.
At this moment, I remembered why his name was Uchiha Shisui. Because he is most afraid of water. This change has made my mind a mess. In order to avoid trouble, I copied a suicide note with sharingan, left it on the shore and left in a hurry.
According to the plot, I went to Neiguang's old house, knocked on all the floors like a lottery, and finally found the biggest secret of Neiguang's family. On a scroll, the detailed acquisition method of the kaleidoscope sharingan was recorded, and the words "kill the closest friend" were marked in red. Another volume turned out to be "Investigation Report on whether goggles weakened Shalingen's power", signed by Uchiha Obito.
I somehow took the second volume.
I don't know which day I killed, but I have a kaleidoscope.
The next day, the police came to see me. I was surprised at first, but I don't remember going to the party that day. Then I thought of my respected brother Uchiha Shisui, whose death was embarrassing. ~
As expected. I'm a little angry that they suspect me. I threw one of them over my shoulder. My father showed up and scolded me. I'm even angrier. I'm about to beat this man further. Sasuke suddenly stopped me loudly, and then an invisible force forced me to kneel on the ground.
My brother is really unfathomable.
That night, the moon was dark and windy. I just came back from a mission and made a pot of porridge with new ingredients. I was cooking when the patriarch sent me. I hurried to the patriarch's house. ,
The first sentence of the patriarch was: Did you take the scroll?
I just remembered the strange investigation report and said quickly, yes.
The patriarch didn't speak, and suddenly he took out his bitter water and ran towards me. sharingan shone. I was shocked and grabbed a melon cutter to defend myself. Listen to Liu Zhi, heads of the whole people slipped to the ground, carotid artery was just a melon knife scratched a big hole, zi zi to take blood. Sharingan stared at the slider and never printed.
I noticed the watermelon skin at his feet and had to sigh.
Someone shouted: The weasel killed the patriarch! !
I took a watermelon knife and cut it in and out of the crowd. Harle took turns to fight. Later, I simply climbed the telephone pole and jumped in the direction of home.
I was in a daze as soon as I entered the room. There was a layer of green fog in the room, and my parents fell to the ground with blood in their eyes. The pot of porridge has become a green paste and is still bubbling.
-
Sasuke came back at this time, surprised and asked me why I killed so many people.
I really can't answer that.
This is the whole story of the incident a few years ago. I left the real right and wrong place in Muye Village and began to flee. From then on, I never dared to eat watermelon or cook.
Also, Sasuke got all the insurance compensation; This pot of porridge is reserved for poisoning wild dogs and so on.
Now that I think about it, I did see Xiao's job advertisement in an alley in Longren Village. At that time, a man was brushing and pasting advertisements on the wall. I asked him why he didn't put them on the street. He explained that he is very strict with graffiti now. Look at the urban management. Then he looked up and smiled.
Even if it is a recruitment trap, it is difficult for the second-in-command to post advertisements in person, but "Xiao" is an organization that is more meaningless than the secret department of Muye Village, so nothing is impossible. The leader's name is Mo, male, and his height, weight and real age are unknown. He likes telling cold jokes. Its aesthetic view is particularly strange, and all members of Xiao are ordered to wear rings, nail polish and red cloak.
The second child is Zhou, who was released from prison. He is male and looks exactly like the boss. His pupils are purple. It is said that Purple Eye is the blood boundary of Zhou Wan clan in Yunren Village, but it seems that Zhou Wan clan has also been destroyed by the whole clan, so the possibility that this person is a ghost is not ruled out.
Xiao "at the beginning, there were only eight people, including me, and then I joined another person." It is really small. We have to share all the work. The boss is responsible for contacting the task, managing the logistics after the prison, managing the food by sharks and so on. Orochimaru is responsible for recruiting ninjas in exile. He obviously didn't work well, but he developed a good eloquence during this time, so that his tongue burst into lotus flowers, and Yin Ren Village was established within a few years.
The only woman in this organization is Hattori Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Although she is a woman, she is also very strong. And most importantly, she is in charge of finance, so we all respect her.
I am in charge of paperwork, and the more words I write, the better.
I joined the primary school, so I don't have to go hungry anymore. This was a good thing, but this organization has such a group of people and such a frustrating name, which really can't make people happy.
My life began to calm down. Every once in a while, I ask Sasuke if he broke away and destroyed the whole konoha, but nothing happened.
You are a genius. The boss said to me.
So what? We have many talents in Konoha. A pair of queens. I said.
Ah, we are all talented people. When we meet a genius, we will naturally be jealous. Yes, K. Zhou threw two cards after he got out of prison.
Blow. The boss played all the cards left in his hand. Okay ... it seems that you are the most suitable candidate. The boss said while keeping score. `
..... What do you mean? I asked. The boss ignored me and just shouted, orochimaru, it's your turn to shuffle the cards.
In fact, Zhou was a visionary after he got out of prison. His outstanding performance was that he had to carry a stainless steel lunch box with him when he went out to perform tasks. When I asked him about it, he shrugged and smiled. In our line of work, it is really easier to die than ants, but when we die, we should be covered in dead ghosts.
It took me a long time to understand that this is actually a bitter sentence.
A few years passed like this. I saved money to buy a computer. Orochimaru quit the organization on the grounds of old age.
Until one day, Ying Ji was sent by his boss to Konoha to steal scrolls and came back injured. The first sentence is: weasel, your brother killed me with heaven. I was shocked: impossible, he should be only 13 years old-but my brother can't judge by the standards of ordinary people ... After Zhou got out of prison, he suddenly interrupted: Alas, an orphan has a sum of money in his hand, which is easy to learn bad, but you should also discipline him, who is your brother, so as not to let him set fire to people everywhere ... I will beat him to vomiting blood with one punch.
The boss has been standing by seriously, frowning. For a long time, he said, Mako, you go with him and help me bring back the child possessed by Kyubi no Youko. Weasel, be careful of your brother.
There is a saying that "no face, no skin, invincible", the boss has been saying. And he is also good at putting words into practice; It is shameless to go out in bright uniforms and fancy straw hats. Everywhere I go with sharks, people are watching, and everyone's expression is worth hitting. So we didn't dare to make any stop and went to Muye Village day and night.
When I arrived at Konoha, I found that it was a mess, explosions were heard, and flames were everywhere. We're going to take the city wall; Standing on the wall, I saw two snakes, orochimaru, Xiaoming and Xiao Liang, proudly spitting news not far away.
second floor
Suddenly I felt that life was like a dream and sighed exaggeratedly.
It has nothing to do with sharks these days, and I have been playing cards with other guests in the hotel.
Four days later, Konoha was in full swing and the major stores reopened. It is estimated that after I left, Konoha was torn down and I couldn't find my way home, so I had to walk into a shop for tea. As soon as I took a sip, I saw Kakashi standing at the door, looking around and looking around.
-
Then I saw Sasuke.
He doesn't look like a kaleidoscope, but what puzzles me most is who Sasuke killed to get it. I was just thinking about it, but I saw Sasuke's eyes glance at my side and immediately turned back.
I winked at the shark and we slipped out the back door calmly.
If Asma or Hong said, "Why are you walking around in such shapeless clothes? I really misjudged you! " ! I will commit suicide in shame, so I don't have to fight with Kakashi by the river, saving a lot of trouble.
The former lover has become an enemy today! ! ..... hey? I obviously don't like ferrets, do I? -the author is boring)
After putting down the scarecrow, I actually found a watermelon skin/mushroom running towards us, and a flying foot kicked the mackerel to the ground ("I am a light blue beast with high leaves!" " ") I began to have arrhythmia when I saw watermelon skin, so I called mackerel to stop. And mackerel seems to be on this watermelon skin/mushroom bar, unwilling to leave. I gestured and threatened, and I recorded the complete works of the boss's cold jokes. do you want to hear it ?
Ghost shark, come with me.
Just now I said to Kakashi, "We are looking for the legacy of four generations of projects". Actually, I just remembered (we wasted four days). So I started at once-but the boy took Jiraiya, one of the three forbearance, out to practice. We were forced to follow all the way and were mistaken for artists on the way.
Mako and I hid behind the telephone pole and watched Jiraiya and Naruto pass by. My opinion is to stun it with a stick and drag it away directly (but weasel classmate, do you think this will stop the rise of the weasel? No, never), but sharks think it is too obvious and easy to disturb the masses. The final result of the argument was that I knocked out a woman and used her to distract Jiraiya.
Sasuke suddenly appeared when the two sides confronted each other. In order to show his contempt for me, he only used two linked States.
He finished printing quickly. A thousand birds fly towards me.
I grabbed his hand and threw it on the wall. I dare not be ruthless; Because in the process of hitting him, every time I punch, one-third of my strength comes back to me. This is an automatic reaction of his body. I asked Sasuke: Who did you kill to get the kaleidoscope?
A cat. Sasuke answered, and I recognized the smile in his voice.
I used Harle on him. He said, thanks, brother. This is exactly what I expected. Then I passed out. Then I saw what Sasuke's forehead revealed, but I didn't see it clearly; Then I remembered what it was.
That's the other eye.
Guys, I'm back.
I don't want to talk about what happened on the way back to headquarters. Anyway, I went back to headquarters and cried to my boss: What should I do, boss? My brother was bitten by orochimaru and became a three-eyed boy! The boss gave me a cross look and said, who told you to point your brother's forehead if something happened? Now, you can point out an eye.
I asked doubtfully, how do you know so clearly?
There is nothing in this world that I don't know. The boss smiled. Weasel, if I tell you now, your brother will be the one who will destroy the whole world. Do you believe it?
At this time, God arranged for a gust of wind to blow between us, and a dead leaf was spinning in the wind. I said slowly, boss, you see your cold jokes have caused climate anomalies again.
I've had a lot of jokes in my life, but this sentence is absolutely true. Weasel, now you take out that "the biggest secret of Neiguang family". The password to crack the seal is "Shen Chou Hai Chen Zi is not ugly". After printing, you can see the hidden file, which records all the facts.
I looked up at the sky after reading the scroll. The autumn wind around us is getting bleak.
Look, your brother and Kyubi no Youko Fox are creatures of the same level. "
But he was kidnapped by orochimaru. I said.
Hum, orochimaru is so ungrateful that even your brother dares to turn? What day are you waiting for Sasuke's interest to come, and Yinren Village will go out and lift orochimaru's head back to Konoha? Three years later, on July 23, his strength will reach its peak, and then, hahahahahahaha.
..... Today must be his birthday. I asked.
Yes, fate is so accurate, exactly. The boss said.
So weasel, only you can beat your brother now. You should practice hard these three years ... hey, wait, why should I be in charge? ~
You gave him a lecture in Harle twice, once for your brother to learn from Harle, and once for him to grow a saringen, so I can't cure him. Do you think you should be responsible?
I am speechless. The boss is about to turn back to the dormitory. I stopped him: Boss, it is widely rumored on the Internet that you are the fourth generation of Muhuoying who is not dead. To tell the truth, I haven't known your true identity after all these years. ...
Ha ha ha ha ha, it is also widely rumored on the Internet that you are having an affair with Kakashi. Four generations of Muhuoying have been dead for more than ten years. Even if he is alive, he is still an uncle. How can I be so young and handsome? It means nothing to me to tell you my name. No country will have my information, and you will never know who I am. I'll only tell you once, remember. The boss suddenly showed his pride. My name is AB.
Zhou Wan, who had been standing by, suddenly interjected: Boss, I don't think anything should be said first. The urgent task of our organization is to recruit more people. ...
The boss was murderous at once, pointing to Zhou's prison with one hand and harsh voice: forbearance, nuclear bomb arrival!
There was a loud noise, and a small mushroom cloud, Ran Ran, rose. The boss shouted at me: Weasel, you go to the street now, and when you see the exiled ninja, use Harle to knock me out and drag me back! Then he turned away and tripped over his cloak.
I dare not answer, I can only promise.
I still don't understand how I, the biggest villain at present, became a messenger of justice. The boss explained that life is impermanent, three years may be a few weeks, and a year may be five years. I have been unable to understand; This mostly just shows that the boss is better at dragging the manuscript.
Now walking on the road, looking up at the hoarse birds flying in the sky, imagining the unknown future, I sincerely hope Sasuke can grow taller in these three years.
Is this it? If I can help you, I hope to adopt it ~
Is this it? If I can help you, I hope to adopt it ~