I saw a voice falling from the sky at the first light: "Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and kill the leader." So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead." My brother said: I bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!
3. After Yao Ming retired, because of his height problem, his life was inconvenient, and he sought medical advice everywhere, but it was not solved. One day I met a monk. The monk said that there is a secret recipe that can reduce the height to 1.8 meters after taking it. Yao Ming was overjoyed and asked what medicine it was. The monk said: short oil!
4. Two children are talking:
A said: Our whole family likes animals very much. My mother likes cats, my brother likes dogs and my sister likes rabbits.
B said: What about your father?
A said: I like foxes.
5. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on my way to Russia. One is to dig a hole by the roadside with a shovel, and dig a hole every three meters. Another worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on. ....
Out of curiosity, the American asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill in the hole as soon as you dug it?" ? 』
Russian workers replied: "We are greening the road. I dig a hole, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second man didn't come today. 』
6. Tomb-Sweeping Day has arrived. Last night, my family and I went downstairs to burn paper money to worship our ancestors, leaving my sister to look after the house. As soon as I came back, my sister said to me, "Brother, a few people talked to you on the Internet just now, and I helped you reply!" " "I looked at the message record curiously. It turned out that ... Oh, my God, my sister actually replied to me: I'm sorry, my brother is gone, and he can't come up to talk to you unless I help him burn paper ...
7, drinking coffee, sitting next to a man in a suit and tie, the phone rang, he connected, complaining: "I didn't tell you, your bill is only one billion, too little, I won't do it." And then hung up. I'm in business, too, and suddenly I look at him with a little more respect. Q: "What company do you work for? Don't take such a big business? " He smiled awkwardly: "I printed money in Mingbi, and the profit of one million and one billion is only tens of dollars." Who will do it! "
8. One day the hen was flying on the roof, and the owner said angrily:
"If you don't come down, I'll kill all the cocks here and make your life hell."
The hen said with a smile
"
Finally, we can find the duck. . . . "